Translator: Nox

Chapter 39

39

39. The Count’s Circumstances (9)

“I heard a strange noise at night.”

“Did you? I didn’t hear anything.”

I said nonchalantly, clearing my hoarse throat. I had been screaming all night, so my throat wasn’t in good condition. I coughed discreetly, and Vincent, with his sharp ears, immediately turned to look at me. I pretended not to notice, poured water into an empty cup, and handed it to him.

He took the cup, a question on his face. Next to him, Lucas abruptly held out his empty cup. He had barged in this morning, saying he didn’t want to eat alone, and was having breakfast with us.

“Paula, give me some too.”

“……”

I poured water without even looking at him. “Thank you.” I didn’t even pretend to hear him. Lucas laughed awkwardly.

The stiff atmosphere continued after that. An uncomfortable air floated in the room, filled only with the sound of clattering dishes. Vincent must have felt it too, as he narrowed his brow.

“Did something happen?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Between you two.”

“Nothing happened.”

Not at all, absolutely nothing. I emphasized each word, and Vincent closed his mouth. Lucas quietly drank his water. I busily cleared the empty dishes, making as much noise as possible.

When I left the room, Lucas followed me. I still didn’t look at him.

“You’re very angry.”

“……”

“I’m sorry for locking the door. I got a little scared after I did it.”

“……”

“Paula.”

“……”

When I didn’t answer despite his repeated calls, his footsteps stopped. Only my footsteps echoed in the quiet hallway. I quickened my pace, staring straight ahead. That’s how angry I was.

Bastard. Bad man. How could he say such a thing as a joke? I was so shocked that I felt breathless and my mind went blank.

At that moment, he seemed to be speaking from the heart. That was so scary. I didn’t know someone’s true feelings could be so frightening. So when he said it was a joke, my mind went numb. Honestly, I was relieved. It was a lie, a joke. But apart from being relieved, I was also angry.

Lucas continued to follow me and apologize. I ignored him completely. I knew he was watching me, trying to find a way to ease my anger, but I wouldn’t accept it this time. That was the most I could express. I couldn’t curse or hit him. I wanted to scream “Bastard!” and tear his hair out.

So he should know he’s lucky.

But thinking about it again.

“It’s really too much.”

The paper crumpled as I clenched my fist in anger. I gritted my teeth.

“No, there’s a limit to how much you can look down on someone. What? A joke? Is it funny to you to make such an unfunny joke!”

I was spitting out curses when I came to my senses. I took a breath and read the words in front of me. It was a scene where a companion traveling with the protagonist was talking.

[Don’t do that. I can’t sacrifice you.]

[I’ll do anything for you.]

“No, who are you to sacrifice yourself!”

Are you that great? Huh? Anger surged again. I shouted about how great he thought he was, then gritted my teeth. The paper was crumpled so badly that I couldn’t read the words.

“Master also thinks so, right? It’s really too much, right?”

“What are you talking about since a while ago.”

Vincent, who was listening to the contents of the book I was reading as always, frowned. I didn’t back down. I slammed the table and criticized the protagonist’s companion’s naive attitude. He doesn’t think about the people around him, I said. Vincent looked at me like I was crazy.

A joke? Good, a joke! Let’s see how far you can go with a joke, you bastard! Ethan’s brother, was it? Now that I see it, he’s a spitting image. Making people angry.

In the end, I slammed the table again. Bang, bang, bang! I felt pain in my hand, but my anger didn’t subside.

“Stop.”

He grabbed my fist and stopped me. I breathed heavily. Then, gradually, I came back to my senses. Embarrassment filled my clearing mind. I tried to subtly pull my hand away, but Vincent held on even tighter.

“What happened with Lucas.”

“No.”

I answered firmly, but he was already suspicious. His sharp gaze seemed to pierce me. I rolled my eyes to the side, avoiding his gaze.

“Something a little unpleasant happened.”

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me.”

When I stubbornly kept my mouth shut, Vincent sighed. But I didn’t want to say it. It was something I didn’t even want to mention. It wasn’t something he would want to hear.

‘I’ll give it to my brother. My world.’

Even if it was a joke, how could he say such a thing.

“I don’t know what happened, but just let it go.”

“If that’s your order.”

“I’m saying this for your sake.”

He unfolded my clenched hand. And carefully caressed it. He focused on one spot in particular, and when I looked, the skin was red. His finger brushed over it.

“Looks like it’ll bruise.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to hit, but don’t hurt yourself.”

“Can I really hit?”

“You can hit. I’ll allow it.”

It was a tempting offer. Oh, really?

“Really?”

“Yes. If you want, say it’s my order.”

“Then lend me some tools.”

“Tools?”

“A cane.”

My gaze was fixed on his cane, which he had once wielded against Ethan. The window was broken, but the cane was fine except for a few scratches.

I had been eyeing it since a while ago. When I mentioned the cane, Vincent laughed. He seemed to know why I was asking for the cane.

“As much as you want.”

So I borrowed the cane from him. I carried it around on my waist. Whenever my anger flared, I would fiddle with the cane or secretly take it out and swing it. I quite liked the sound it made as it cut through the air.

Not bad?

I went to a wider space and swung it around. Oh, I exclaimed and swung it again. I think I understand why Vincent wielded this. Satisfied with my excellent choice of tool, I recalled the faces of the people who usually made my life difficult. I swung the cane and hit them. The opponent cried out in pain. It was just my imagination, but it made me feel good.

Before I knew it, I was spinning around, completely focused. Then, just as I swung the cane to the side, something suddenly popped out in front of me. I gasped in surprise and took a step back. The other person also froze, raising both hands. Something fluttered and fell to the floor between us.

“Please, spare me.”

“Ah, no. I’m sorry.”

I panicked and immediately lowered the cane. Lucas cautiously retreated. Then he clutched his chest and breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes quickly scanned the cane in my hand.

“What are you doing here? What’s that?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Don’t tell me you were going to hit me with that?”

“……”

Lucas’s face hardened at my silence. He continued calmly with a serious expression.

“I’m sorry. I mean it. Spare me.”

“If you knew that, why did you say those things?”

“……”

“I hate those kinds of lies.”

The anger I had forgotten for a moment surged up again. I was even more angry that he had taken his own death so lightly than that he had made a joke.

It was a world where some people couldn’t live even if they wanted to. At least, that’s how life was around me. I had seen many deaths, and I didn’t want to treat any of them lightly. It was too much to treat it as a nobleman’s jest. Moreover, the reason for it was not something that could be easily dismissed.

Of course, I didn’t want it to be true, but even so, it wasn’t right.

“Paula is right about everything. I have no excuses. I must have been crazy for a moment. I did something very wrong to Vincent, my brother, and I felt so sorry that… I was wondering how I could help him, and I even thought about that. It wasn’t something I should have said to Paula, but I unconsciously said what I was thinking, and I panicked and mumbled… I’m really sorry. It was a mistake. I sincerely apologize.”

“……”

“Please forgive me.”

He suddenly held out his hand. I hesitated, wondering if he wanted to shake hands as an apology, but he seemed even more embarrassed. Soon, Lucas, who was quickly scanning his surroundings, bent over. A bouquet of flowers had fallen at his feet. So the thing that had fallen earlier was a flower.

“I’m sorry.”

He held out a bouquet of white flowers and bowed deeply. It was the flower that had been blooming in the mysterious space in the forest we had gone to last time. The flower that I had said I liked so many times. His clothes were also covered in petals, as if he had just brought them.

I stared at the head bowed deeply towards the floor and fiddled with the cane in my hand. Should I hit him? Should I not? Should I not accept it? I struggled for a moment, but in the end, I finished with a sigh. I already knew that he was sincerely apologizing to me.

“Don’t treat death as a joke. Never.”

“I won’t.”

He answered immediately.

“Don’t say those things either.”

“Thank you for forgiving me.”

“I didn’t forgive you.”

To be exact, I’m going to wait and see.

I stuck the cane into the floor next to his hand. He glanced up. I smiled and added that I had received permission from my master. I didn’t say what I had received permission for, but Lucas nodded repeatedly, as if sensing a crisis.

He didn’t seem like he would straighten up until I received the bouquet. If I left him alone, he would probably kneel down. I didn’t care, but if other servants saw it, bad rumors might spread.

In the end, when I received the bouquet, he thanked me and straightened up. I shrugged.

“I was worried about what would happen if Paula didn’t forgive me.”

“So you were going to keep doing this?”

“Yes. I was going to keep following you and begging for forgiveness.”

That’s a little scary. If I had kept ignoring him, he might have shaken me awake in my sleep to ask for forgiveness, right?

“So I’m glad. I want to make a good impression on Paula.”

“On me? Why?”

“Because I like Paula.”

I was surprised for a moment at his words, but I quickly regained my composure. I don’t believe it anymore. I laughed it off, but he didn’t stop talking.

“I like Paula.”

“Yes, yes.”

“This is the truth.”

“I’m honored.”

I was looking at the bouquet, replying nonchalantly, when suddenly my shoulder was grabbed and my body was pulled forward, and something touched my cheek. It really touched.

Something soft.

“Eek.”

I ran away in horror. When I turned around, rubbing my cheek, Lucas was smiling brightly at me. He looked so carefree.

“I told you it was the truth.”

He was a man you really couldn’t let your guard down around until the very end.