Chapter 30
30
===
My life, which had been so unfair, could actually be changed like this.
If I spoke up and made an effort.
"...Thank you, Mom."
As I mumbled my reply, my mother gently stroked my hair.
"Thank you too, my baby. For enduring all this time, even though it was hard."
I was acknowledged.
'I was always anxious, fearing I'd be abandoned if I wasn't good enough.'
I was too choked up to reply, so Beatrice chimed in with a proud voice.
"Actually, Your Highness didn't look well this morning, but she sprang up as soon as she heard that His Majesty the King was leaving. I'm so proud of our young Your Highness."
Well, Beatrice firmly believed that I was really sick.
My mother gave Beatrice a slight smile and left the room.
On the day of rest my mother gave me, I spent the day taking care of Yan.
'I want to ask Yan if he's okay.'
Beatrice was so clingy that I couldn't even ask him a single question. I can't even begin to describe how frustrated I was.
* * *
"Cough, cough!"
It was dawn, when Gabriella was holding me in her arms on our way to the Separate Palace.
I, who had been dozing off, woke up to the familiar sound of coughing and frowned.
'Gabi is coughing again?'
I barely resisted the urge to ask her something as the coughing repeated several times.
Finally arriving at Sei Palace, I asked almost shouting.
"Gabi, are you sick?"
"Cough, cough! No, Your Highness... I'm not sick. It's just that Your Highness is so worried that the Royal physician..."
That's what she said, but Gabriella's complexion was strangely mottled.
'Could it be that Gabi's illness has relapsed while I was pretending to be sick?'
My heart sank, and I shouted.
"Icarus!"
Icarus Chenelli immediately appeared at my call.
"Your Highness, what is it?"
"Ga, Gabi seems sick. Call a doctor, call a doctor."
"Yes, Your Highness."
He was about to get up when Gabriella interjected, looking embarrassed.
"It's nothing, Sir Chenelli. I just got caught in the rain a little yesterday, but I'm not particularly sick... Cough!"
"Rain? Why did you get wet in the rain...?"
I asked, puzzled, and Gabriella changed the subject.
"No, it was just a little... I just had something to go outside for a moment..."
"Something to go outside for?"
There was no way that could be true.
'In the Main Palace, several maids take care of us, but in the Separate Palace, it's just Gabriella.'
For Gabriella to have gone outside meant...
"Did Rosa, did Rosa tell you to do something? What?"
Next to Gabriella, who was looking troubled, Icarus's face also darkened.
I asked Icarus.
"Icarus? What did Gabi do yesterday? Do you know?"
"That is..."
For some reason, even Icarus couldn't answer easily and hesitated for a long time.
However, unlike Gabriella, Icarus couldn't avoid my words.
He reluctantly opened his mouth.
"...She said that Your Highness was keeping it a secret from you and cried all day to find a lost cat."
"What? Y, yesterday in that rain, Maria?"
I remember the sound of the rain that rang loudly when my father left.
I reached out my palm and touched Gabriella's forehead.
She was burning with fever.
"Bad sister..."
As I bit my lower lip and resented her, Gabriella smiled weakly.
"Your Highness gave the young Your Highness a fright with scary words. She was terribly sad."
What did Mom say...?
As I was guessing about something I didn't know, Gabriella continued.
"So I wanted to ease her mind, but I couldn't find that little cat..."
"How could you get rained on like that!"
I wanted to protect her, no matter what.
'It's the first thing I dreamed of as soon as I came back to the past!'
I have to save Gabi...!
―Beep... Beep...
Even Yan was watching my reaction and cried.
I turned to Icarus with eyes that were quickly filling with tears.
"Send for the Royal physician, Icarus. Please. Tell Mom that she's very sick."
"Your Highness, she's not that sick..."
"Gabi!"
I was frustrated and shouted.
"If something happens to Gabi, if she gets sick and goes back to her hometown, Rosa and I won't have anyone!"
As soon as I said that, I was overcome with fear, and I held Gabriella's hand tightly.
"Gabi can't be sick. Stay with me. Okay? Please."
Gabriella gave a faint smile and looked up at Icarus.
"I guess it can't be helped, Sir Chenelli. Your Highness seems anxious, so please tell His Majesty. I beg you."
After Icarus headed to the Main Palace, I had Gabriella lie down on the bed.
I wiped the cold sweat that Gabriella was shedding with the wet towel that she had prepared to wash me.
"Your Highness, I told you I'm not that sick..."
Gabriella insisted until the end, but I couldn't believe it.
In the past I experienced, Gabriella left in the summer when I was five years old.
If everything that happened in the past is repeating itself...
'It's not that far in the future.'
Soon Icarus returned with the Royal physician.
I had Gabriella examined and had to hide in the next room with Icarus.
As I paced anxiously around the room, Icarus knelt before me.
Come to think of it, a withered flower was still pinned to his chest.
"Your nanny will be fine, Your Highness. It may not be enough, but I will... help her eat."
I didn't feel like eating anything at all.
I just looked up at Icarus and resented him.
"I hate my sister..."
Icarus asked as I pursed my lips.
"Are you still afraid of that cat, Your Highness?"
Why is he suddenly asking about the cat?
"...What?"
"I was going to tell you in case you were worried... but the cat will not be found. I should have told you if I had known that your nanny would suffer in the rain."
I tilted my head and looked up at Icarus.
"How does Icarus... know?"
Icarus let out a low sigh.
"I saw it a few days ago... It was limping, perhaps injured, and was wandering around the Royal Palace when it was caught by a priest and scolded. It must have been scared, so it probably won't come back."
"Really...?"
I checked to see if he was just trying to reassure me, and Icarus replied bluntly.
"I would never dare to lie to Your Highness."
Then he added.
"The same goes for your nanny. She can get better."
It's not something you can be so sure about, Icarus.
'If we don't have Gabi, we're really in big trouble.'
Especially for Icarus, it's definitely not someone else's problem...
I couldn't bring myself to utter the still vivid unhappiness of that time, and I was just depressed by myself.
"Then shall we... eat?"
Icarus washed his hands and picked up a piece of bread with his large hands.
For the first time in a while, I watched him almost massacre the bread with his clumsy hands.
'Well, is it all a memory when you look back on it...?'
No way.
There's no way.
I looked down at the bird feed-sized piece of bread placed on my plate and shook my head bitterly.
* * *
Because Gabriella took her medicine and fell asleep, Icarus stayed by my side all morning.
After he washed my face with clumsy hands, he asked.
"Shall I... brush your hair?"
"No."
I refused firmly because it felt like all my hair would be pulled out, and that Icarus Chenelli's face was filled with disappointment.
I was so dumbfounded that I laughed and picked up the brush.
"I, I'll brush Icarus's hair."
"...Yes?"
I gestured for Icarus to sit on the floor and brought the brush to his neat black hair.
I gently brushed down his hair, which seemed a little long for a knight.
Icarus had an uncomfortable look on his face, but he couldn't bring himself to push me away.
'Why couldn't I get close to Icarus for so long before?'
I continued to brush my hair, wondering about that.
Everything is fine, but my arms were shaking because he was so tall when sitting down.
Icarus noticed this and tried to stop me.
"Your Highness, you can stop..."
His tone.
It must be because of his tone.
Because Icarus uses a different tone than Gabriella or the maids.
'Of course, he's also big and has a scary impression.'
But now I know that even Icarus smiles sometimes.
"No. I have to put hairpins in it too."
Icarus was even more flustered when I said it seriously.
"...Yes?"
I brought a box of hairpins while making the restless knight kneel on the floor.
"Your Highness, I'm sorry..."
"Gabi lets me play with her hair."
When I deliberately compared him, Icarus groaned.
"My hair is short, so it won't be fun..."
"When that happens, you can make it fun by putting in a hairpin."
Perhaps because I was having fun for the first time in a while, Icarus soon gave up.
I put pink ribbons on both sides that suited him well and giggled.
"You're so pretty, Icarus."
