Chapter 64
64
My cold sweat-soaked body trembled. It felt like someone was choking me, and my vision went dark. I gasped and scratched at my neck, but I couldn't breathe.
"Maknae, breathe. Hey, breathe."
A flustered Dang Juhee patted my back, trying to induce vomiting. I retched and clawed at the floor.
The lingering scent of a sickening anesthetic. A faint, drifting smell of blood. Kyung-ah's fragile breathing, as if it would stop any second.
Everything surrounding me felt unbearably sensitive, sending shivers down my spine.
"Young Miss, are you alright? Young Miss!"
"Hey, stop calling her Young Miss and get a wet towel. Quickly."
Songji's hurried footsteps grew closer and then faded away. My vision blurred, as if my fever had returned.
It took over half an hour to stop vomiting and calm down. I curled up on the empty bed, blinking slowly.
When I fainted from Dang Jung's Inner Force, or when I fell off the cliff, I was only briefly startled and quickly recovered. That was because I had an underlying belief that I would be alright.
But this time was different.
I'm scared.
My hands and feet trembled uncontrollably from fear. I wanted to run away from this place immediately.
"Maknae. Are you feeling a little better? Drink this. Why are you so weak?"
Dang Juhee, who had brewed tea herself, grumbled as she held out the teacup.
"You're the first person I've seen roll their eyes back just from seeing a little blood. Even the cowardly Seho doesn't do this. That's why Jonghyun-jo told everyone to keep it quiet."
"Grandfather told everyone to keep it quiet? About what?"
"Didn't you say there were kids who bullied you when you were a Maid? Jonghyun-jo caught them all, killed them, and burned them."
"......What?"
I was speechless with bewilderment.
The reason Sim-yang and her group were gone was because they were dead?
"He told everyone to keep it a secret because he knew you'd collapse if you found out. I wasn't supposed to say anything. This is a secret, okay?"
Dang Juhee awkwardly mumbled, wiping the moisture from her hands. My lips trembled, and I looked at Songji.
"Songji. Did you know too?"
"......"
Instead of answering, Songji lowered her head. Seeing her avoid my gaze and twist her sleeves, I couldn't help but sigh.
I know it in my head. It was done for me, to eliminate any future troubles.
Dang Jung wasn't the kind of person to let someone who held a knife to his beloved disciple's neck live. That's the law of the Jianghu.
But understanding it in my head and accepting it in my heart were different things.
Even though I had spent half a year in the Martial Arts World, my common sense was still based on the standards of modern society.
I wasn't brave enough to casually dismiss the cruelty of cutting off someone's tongue, replacing people like machine parts, and killing anyone who got in the way.
When I lost my words, Songji sniffled and whispered.
"Don't take it to heart, Young Miss. The Elder took Sim-yang as an example, so this will never happen again. With the Elder standing strong, who would dare to touch you?"
Her clumsy consolation made me feel like I had been hit in the head with a hammer.
Even if I'm afraid, I can hide in Dang Jung's shadow. Deokju has the strength to protect herself.
But what about Kyung-ah and Songji? Where can they hide?
My chest felt heavy, as if a heavy stone was pressing down on it.
I was so busy worrying about my own safety that I didn't even consider them, and I felt pathetic.
All I did was give them a little food, and I acted like I was a generous person.
Realizing my selfishness, I snapped back to my senses. I clattered the teacup down.
"Unnie. Thank you for the tea."
"Are you sure you're alright to leave already? Stay and rest longer."
"I'm fine. I'll be going now."
"You never listen. Really."
Despite her annoyed grumbling, Dang Juhee seemed worried about me.
Dang Juhee, who helped me up from the bed, took out a pile of things from the drawer and handed them to Songji.
"If your mistress throws up again, boil this and feed it to her. If she has trouble sleeping at night, burn incense in her room. This is a stamina booster. Give her one pill every morning and evening."
"Yes, yes! I understand. Young Miss."
Songji rolled her eyes, trying to remember the uses of the items.
They were all useless to me, but there was no need to expose my weakness by pointing out that they wouldn't work.
I nodded in thanks and staggered out of the sickroom.
Deokju, who had been waiting outside, rushed over and supported me.
"Young Miss. You don't look well. Let's go to your residence……."
"I need to stop by Grandfather's before going to my residence. I have something to ask……. No, wait."
I stopped speaking, shook my head, and touched my forehead.
Just like Dang Juhee, Dang Jung wouldn't understand me either. To him, Songji and Kyung-ah were just tools to assist me.
If I showed any signs of being troubled, he might try to separate them from me.
After a moment of consideration, I thought of someone who might understand my feelings.
"Songji. Bring me a Long robe. Deokju, prepare to go out."
"Young Miss. You're still not feeling well. Where are you going……."
"I need to go to Moon Scent Pavilion."
I answered, looking beyond the fence.
\ \ *
Even without a prior appointment, Hwahong greeted me barefoot. He gave me a bewitching smile and met my eyes.
"Oh my, Nangja. I am so pleased that you have not forgotten this Hwahong and have come to visit."
"You said you would help me."
Only after blurting out my business did I realize it was rude, but I didn't even have the energy to exchange pleasantries.
Hwahong, who had approached me with light steps at my weak voice, whispered.
"Something must have happened."
"Yes."
"This Hwahong will attend to you. Nangja, please come this way."
Hwahong, who sat me down on a soft chair, brought a blanket and covered my knees. Then, he placed a warm cup in my hands.
"Since you have come all this way, will you give me the opportunity to serve you a cup of tea? Smell the fragrance, Nangja. The quince scent is lovely."
He even patted the back of my hand affectionately. Only then did I see my hand trembling so much that it was pitiful.
Shaking like a person enduring the dead of winter in the middle of summer, it was no wonder he thought something had happened.
I bit my lip and wrapped my hands around the teacup. As I took a breath and inhaled the quince scent, the sweet fragrance eased my tension.
My muscles relaxed, and my wildly beating heart gradually found its rhythm. Warmth returned to my cold fingertips.
As my breathing calmed down, Hwahong smiled and spoke to me.
"Nangja. The tea has cooled. Shall I pour you a fresh cup?"
It was a question asking if I had calmed down a bit. I nodded and opened my mouth.
"Pavilion Lord. I wish to speak with you alone."
"If that is what Nangja desires."
Hwahong answered, placing his elbow on the table and clasping his hands together. Soon, a large Energy Barrier enveloped Hwahong and me.
Deokju, who had been pushed out of the Energy Barrier, looked at me and mouthed something. Her furrowed brows showed that she didn't like the idea of being alone with Hwahong.
I shook my head to tell her to stay put, and Deokju swallowed a sigh and obediently stepped back behind me.
Hwahong, who had been watching our exchange of glances, said playfully.
"That young lady has unusually good eyes. She is a loyal Bodyguard."
"Yes. She's a bit kind."
"Our child, you say. So that is how you refer to your Bodyguard? An interesting expression."
"Does the Pavilion Lord not think of the people of Moon Scent Pavilion in the same way? As the owner of this Gisaeng house?"
"Oh my."
Hwahong, his eyes wide, covered his mouth and laughed.
"Of course. I am the only one who can protect our children."
His answer, laced with laughter, gave me confidence.
Hwahong is different from the Tang Clan's bloodline.
He is someone who calls the Gisaengs, whom the world points fingers at as lowly, his children.
Hwahong wouldn't think I was strange, nor would he take my words lightly.
I swallowed hard and opened my mouth.
"......Today, my Maid's tongue was cut off."
"Oh my."
"I heard it was because she overheard something my stepmother said. She was just doing her job."
"It is an event that occurs countless times to those without power. It is unfortunate."
Hwahong, who replied calmly, blinked his long eyelashes. He looked like he wanted to ask what I wanted to say.
I quietly asked.
"Does the Pavilion Lord also think that way? That it's unfortunate but unavoidable? So I should quietly cover it up?"
Hwahong's eyes narrowed.
"I am well aware of the Tang Clan's nature of never forgetting debts, but if you have come to me seeking revenge, you have come to the wrong place. Nangja. How could a lowly Gisaeng possibly lay a hand on a member of the Tang Clan's bloodline?"
"......Revenge?"
"I understand that you are angry. Growing up in the Tang Clan, you must have been taught to repay kindness twofold and grudges tenfold, so it must be even harder to bear. But sometimes, enduring is the answer. Nangja. Now is not the time for revenge."
Hwahong gently persuaded me in a soft voice. He seemed to think that I wanted to vent my anger on Third Madam Ms. Jo.
I shook my head.
"Revenge is meaningless. Revenge after losing everything is nothing more than a tantrum. I came here because I want to know how to protect."
"Do you think I know the answer?"
"Yes. The Pavilion Lord knows. Because you are protecting everyone at Moon Scent Pavilion."
"......"
I stared directly into Hwahong's eyes and asked.
"How can I protect? What must I do to protect my everyday life, my people?"
