83 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards 83
==========
For some reason, a fever was rising suddenly. Sweat streamed down my entire body, making me feel sticky. My throat was burning as if I had swallowed a fireball. Hot breaths escaped through my parted lips. I wanted to drink cold water.
But all that came out was a beast-like groan, so I couldn't even make a proper request. I wished someone would put a cool towel on my head...
My thinly opened eyes were clouded as if covered in fog, making it impossible to distinguish the scenery. I only knew that I was lying in bed from the soft feeling against my back.
Where am I? Is this a guest room inside Chatoul's palace? I wish it were my room in the mansion.
Marie would have quickly changed the cool towel, wiped my body, helped me sit up, and given me cool water to drink.
It's painful. I raised my trembling hand and clutched my chest. My breath was short, and I felt suffocated. It felt like something huge was pressing down on my chest. I barely managed to open my eyes. I could see pure white legs. They were swaying back and forth.
I raised my gaze along the legs. A fluttering pure white dress and a somewhat familiar thin shoulder, neckline, and face came into view. The dust-covered brown hair had lost its vitality and was only dry and rough.
Ah, I know this person. The woman with that cunning expression, a complex mix of despair and excitement, is none other than 'me.'
In an instant, the surrounding scenery became clear. It's that day. I realized it instinctively. Long, loose hair, a pure white dress with no decorations. A woman standing precariously on the terrace railing.
-Roena, I hate you.
For a moment, it felt like our eyes met. 'I' gave a distorted smile and lay back as if falling. No, not lying down. Falling. I reached out and grabbed the fluttering hem of the skirt. But there was nothing to grab.
I jumped up and rolled off the bed onto the floor. I crawled on my hands and knees towards the terrace.
I put my hands on the railing and stood up, gritting my teeth. I leaned forward, as if about to collapse, my body trembling, and looked down at the ground beyond the terrace.
"Ah!!"
There was 'me.' My corpse was in a gruesome state, with broken limbs and a shattered head. I couldn't overcome the sudden surge of nausea and dry heaved.
Ugh. Only saliva dripped out without anything coming up. I poured out everything as if I were going to vomit everything inside.
At the same time, I let out a deep, beast-like cry. My cheeks were getting soaked. My weakened legs could no longer support my body. With one hand on the railing, I collapsed and sat down.
So this was what it looked like. So horribly crushed and broken.
Since it was a choice made of my own free will, I didn't feel sad or miserable. I just felt nauseous. It was a pure feeling of disgust because I had seen something dirty.
After all, how many people in the world can look at their own corpse intact? It was the fear that arose from that.
The cold, floating sensation that I hadn't felt at the time because I was so full of stubbornness and malice crept into my toes. My whole body trembled with fear that I would fall and die at any moment.
It was even worse because I couldn't be sure if I was alive now.
Then there was a hand that hugged me. The thick chest felt behind my head was warm enough to feel relieved.
I couldn't tell who it was because of the tears and the fever that was consuming my head, but strangely, I didn't feel wary of the stranger.
"I thought you were faking a seizure to avoid it, but you were really sick."
Suppressed sobs were coming out frequently like hiccups. My shoulders, heaving with sorrow, felt like they weren't mine.
"Damn it, I don't know how to comfort people. Why was she left like this? There's not a single person taking care of her. Is this how you treat a cherished toy?"
Now even my ears are ringing. It felt like someone was talking to me, but I couldn't understand anything. Only my senses remained vividly alive, making me feel that the person holding me was a 'man.'
A large hand was gently stroking my back as if trying to comfort me. I grabbed the wrist that seemed to belong to him and groped as I spoke.
"More, more..."
Stroke me more. So that I can continue to feel this gentle sensation.
I must be alive now. That's why I can feel this soft touch.
But why can't I see and hear? Could it be that the corpse from earlier is the current me? Then what am I here?
"I thought you would have come too since that bitch appeared at the Masquerade, but no matter how much I looked for you, I couldn't find you. I didn't know you were suffering alone in a place like this. Just where does it hurt that you're so quietly nestled in my arms? Huh? Kerula? Where's the gaze that fears me and why are you showing such a weak appearance?"
Suddenly, my throat became dry. I said to the person holding me, as if pleading.
"Water. Thirsty..."
"Huh? You're really something. Do you think I'm your servant?"
A strange sensation suddenly struck my body. It felt like my feet were floating in the air. Ah, am I falling? Am I going to fall and die again? No. I can't!! What have I been doing until now? Not yet. I can't do this!!
"Shh. It's not scary. Shh. Calm down. No, what are you going to do if you're so scared just from being lifted up? Damn it, this isn't some kind of training, having to squat and walk. Ugh."
My body is swaying. It was a pleasant swaying, like lying in a cradle.
But is it my imagination that the warm air pouring onto my face feels like rough breathing? For some reason, I feel like I'm getting hotter, so I opened my mouth and spoke again. Or was I whining? In fact, I don't even know what I said myself.
"Water, water..."
"Don't be impatient. What am I doing, trying to take off a girl's skirt that I like... Haa, I understand, so stop begging. You're not a child."
After a while, something cold and smooth approached my lips. What poured out from it was the water I had so desperately wanted.
I tried to move my Adam's apple to drink it, but very little water was swallowed compared to what was pouring out. It felt like my chin and neck were getting wet. I felt so sorry for that, so I stuck out my tongue and licked my lips. The unquenched thirst was too deep to bear. I want to drink more. More, more.
As if understanding my heart, water poured into my mouth again. But still, the amount coming in was too small. No. This is not enough. I barely blinked my tear-filled eyes and struggled to raise my hand.
Cup, where's the cup? Let me drink more water. So that I can feel that I'm alive.
Something digs into my mouth. I touched it with my tongue. It's a finger. A long, rough man's finger. Two fingers were opening my mouth. Very slowly. I slowly moved my lips along with it.
"Yes, open your mouth slowly like that. You're doing very well."
Something soft crushed my lips, and at the same time, cold water flowed in. No, it was cold and hot at the same time.
Something big, hot, and moist slowly swept down the inside of my lips, preventing water from flowing out.
I swallowed the water, chasing the movement of that hot flesh. Ah, it's sweet. It's so sweet that I feel good.
"Oh my. Now you're even smiling brightly. You innocent young lady. Do you even know what you're drinking water with and you're so happy? I thought you were a pretty doe, but you're also like a sly cat with a cunning tongue, or a sassy fox who presumptuously puts her hand on the royal body, so I don't know what your true identity is. But why are you crying so sadly?"
The warmth touching my cheek is so warm. Tears came again. Ah, I'm alive. I'm sure I'm alive. If it's this warmth, then I must be alive. So I grabbed his hand and rubbed my cheek against it.
If I hadn't come back, would I have dared to fear death? Just seeing Roena's broken face was enough to make the suicide worthwhile.
But for some reason, I came back. I got a chance. Someone, whether it was a devil or a god, returned the fool Sissae.
So I ran around trying to do things that I couldn't do before. I decided to run wild freely, not even thinking about turning over a new leaf. Until I saw the terrace railing, and what was underneath, I was confident enough.
But what if this is just a fleeting dream I had before I died? What if a devil trying to mock my death is plotting to take my soul by providing a moment of sweetness? Then should I let go of all this?
This is the fear I have. This fear was even greater than the 'death' that was engraved on my body. Hope is so cruel that it's better not to have it if you can't have it.
Knowing that there is only despair and giving up was better than wandering around in a maze, searching for 'hope' that was hidden deep inside.
So don't call this 'hope.' Call it 'despair.' That way I can get up smiling. I would be able to have the certainty that this is reality.
"You're probably the first woman to escape my grasp. So know that it's an honor. No, I don't know if you'll even remember it when you wake up. Ha."
Someone is touching my earlobe. Soon, a heavy sensation is felt. What is it? There was also a hand carefully stroking my hair. The feeling of my hair being picked up is strangely vivid. The breath touching my forehead was also surprisingly sensual.
"I'll let you off this time. You won't be able to run away like last time."
Who is it, why are you leaving? Please stay by my side until I wake up. Help me be sure that it's reality.
But there was nothing more to grab. I reached out into the air several times before dropping my hand. I felt like I was crying again because of an unknown sense of loss. But my tear glands were dry, and my dry eyes were only sore.
After that, the overwhelming drowsiness came first. My tired body is trying to compromise with sleep. Will I be able to wake up again? I thought, covering my festering eyes with the back of my hand.
Please, when I open my eyes, I hope to see the things I know.
But the already flickering mind was making it impossible for me to do anything. I just let go of my mind as if falling into the abyss.
"Ah... Miss?"
There was a voice whispering quietly. Surprised by the cold feeling on my head, I gently opened my eyes. A familiar face is drawn into my blurry vision.
"Marie?"
The voice that came out was completely hoarse.
"Where is this...?"
I asked in a slow voice. Marie was gently wiping my face with a wet cloth. She replied to me in a worried tone.
"It's the mansion. Miss's room. You arrived this morning."
That's strange. I clearly went to the Masquerade and didn't get on the carriage back to the palace.
But a mansion? My room? Something unknown was happening.
