76 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards 76
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The Knight of Clear Hearing, whom the past me loved more than anyone, was speaking with a resolute expression, as if facing a life-or-death battle.
He wanted a handkerchief of the same quality as Michael Ayres's. He asked me to please give him an affirmative answer.
A deep silence enveloped us. Perhaps this was the heaviest moment of my life. An unknown emotion surged within me, as if something hot had been shoved down my throat.
I wanted to open my mouth and speak, but strangely, no sound came out. I felt like I had become mute.
In fact, I should have immediately said, in my usual manner, that I couldn't, and offered something else in return.
The act of gifting a personally embroidered handkerchief was not something to be taken lightly. It was entirely different from Roena's handkerchief.
Therefore, although it was a paltry return compared to saving my life, considering the meaning it held, it was not something I could easily decide. And he, as a knight, should know that better than I did.
"I know it won't be satisfactory."
I opened my trembling lips and barely managed to speak. I chose each word with utmost care, like a young child just learning to talk.
My voice sounded hoarse and unpleasant, but that wasn't important.
"How about I gift you a small dagger with embedded jewels? I heard it's a very useful item for knights. Or perhaps a new cloak? Or if not that..."
"I want a handkerchief made by you, Lady."
"I could ask my mother to get you gloves that suit you, Sir."
"No."
Lustewin Halberd quickly cut me off. He stated, as if declaring it, that he needed no other item besides the handkerchief. It contained an intense resonance, as if he were making a vow to himself.
"You may think of me as a despicable person who brings up past events to engage in petty tricks. You may despise me as a stubborn and selfish man, and I will accept it."
"...But Sir, you know that everyone will be troubled. So please, wear your cool intellect like a helmet, and wrap yourself in the kindness of listening to earnest appeals like armor. Then you will realize what situation I am in."
A woman's handmade handkerchief holds both pure affection and perfect longing. It contains the meaning of wanting her heart to be cherished as much as the handkerchief is kept close.
How many men have found great joy because of this intimate sentiment?
The reason I could give a handkerchief to Michael Ayres was because the scandal with him had already broken. Since everyone regarded me as his lover, I was sending a suitable gift to maintain mutual courtesy.
If that weren't the case, I would have expressed my gratitude with something else. Or perhaps I would have made and sent a handkerchief to exploit this absurd gossip.
People can always meet and part ways, so I don't attach great significance to it.
But if that were applied to Lustewin Halberd, the story would be completely different.
I am not bold enough to deceive my own heart and pretend to be indifferent. So don't criticize me for calling it lingering attachment. It wasn't because I couldn't let him go. It was because I had let him go that I didn't want to leave any room for doubt.
Lustewin wiping his face with a handkerchief I gave him. How could I be indifferent? Sir Halberd using a handkerchief I made to make room for another woman. How could I be calm?
"There is nothing more villainous than cornering a woman who deserves respect."
Lustewin Halberd says. His voice was rough and low, as if he had just run. If you didn't listen carefully, you wouldn't be able to understand what he was saying.
But there was a force that compelled my gaze, so I couldn't help but stare. The strange fervor in his eyes, the intense longing that made my cheeks flush, made me feel a deep thirst.
"But you always avoid me, Lady. You always make assumptions in advance and step back. That's why I end up clinging like this."
"Clinging? You, Sir?"
I didn't say "to whom." I felt like I would cross an irreversible river if I asked.
Lustewin Halberd came closer and extended his hand. It contained an earnest plea, as if asking me to take it, and although it was suspended in the air, it looked stronger than anything in the world.
Ah, how can I ignore this steadfast temptation? Unless my heart is made of stone. So I really hope that my current hesitation is seen as the deep anguish that a pure maiden should have.
Sometimes men would show courage in unexpected situations. That made the other person feel a very strange emotion. The driving force disguised as politeness was a common attitude they had.
Lustewin Halberd was no different, and he quickly snatched my hand as if he had never extended it in the first place.
The fingertips that touched as if sliding were damp with tension. All my senses as a woman seemed to awaken in the lukewarm warmth and faint sweat.
How could such an intimate feeling arise when I had only placed a few fingers on his hand?
If it was an emotion that could only arise because it was a man and a woman, then I should run away without looking back. But the vivid sensation that reached the back of my hand came first.
The breath that spread like a smudge on my skin and the soft feeling beneath it paralyzed all thought. I felt like I had even forgotten to breathe. It was even more so when I saw him with his nose buried in the back of my hand, but his gaze fixed on me.
The me in his eyes had a face so pale that I looked like I was about to faint. It was as if he was looking at a pitiful animal caught in a trap. Who is this little girl trembling so pathetically?
So I had no choice but to let go of his hand convulsively. I clutched the back of my hand as if terrified, and desperately backed away, trying to get as far away from him as possible.
Otherwise, I felt like I would burst into tears in front of him. I was so pathetically sad, so strangely overwhelmed by the rising sorrow, that I wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible.
It wasn't the shame of a maiden being toyed with by a man. It was the pain of feeling a wound that I thought had healed open and bleed profusely.
But a stubborn man always has a more cunning side than a virtuous woman. He was keeping me rooted to the spot with just a few words.
"Lady, please..."
Ah, I don't know why his pitifully distorted face is so heartbreaking. I'm the one who wants to cry.
How much better would it have been if he had insulted me with words bordering on mockery? Or it would have been better if he had revealed his greed for wealth and lowered his own value.
But this faithful man was unbelievably confessing his 'sincerity'.
"Sir, you use the word 'please' too easily. Is it a word that should be used in such a situation?"
"It is because it is worth it."
"But it is painful for me. I should have just gotten hurt alone back then. If I had known this would happen. Please, Sir Halberd. Can't you step back like a gentleman?"
"For you, 'please' is used in such cases. But would you not be generous and give me a small joy?"
"Roena will give you that joy. I don't have the ability to do that."
"No, you just have to say you will. Then I will be so overjoyed that I will be out of my mind all day long."
Who is this man in front of me? Is this really Lustewin Halberd? This thug who is stubbornly pushing his words forward?
Is this man, who has thrown away all the etiquette of a knight and rational judgment and is rushing forward recklessly, really the Knight of Clear Hearing I know?
What on earth is he trying to gain a handkerchief for, even to the point of abandoning his own dignity?
I couldn't understand. I really couldn't understand. I was only sure that this tedious fight would continue unless I came to a conclusion. Also, that I am very weak to appeals.
So let's come to a definite conclusion. No, I have no choice but to do so. I tried to hide my trembling heart and said firmly.
"No. I can't. You will become Roena's knight."
"Why are you so sure?"
"Because I know that's how it will be."
Yes, I know. I have experienced a future that you don't know. So I can be sure.
I know that I will soon be able to see you standing tall next to the brightly smiling Roena.
Didn't you, Lustewin Halberd, win the intense desire that all the knights belonging to the Bishvarts Family longed for? So you should be happy and proud.
But Sir Halberd's face didn't look so happy. He was just gritting his teeth as if barely holding back something about to explode.
It looked like anger. He was standing there with the same face I had often seen in the past.
Why, why? Why are you making such a painful expression? Was he embarrassed by the incomprehensible situation? I unknowingly called out to him.
"Sir Halberd?"
"...As I have said many times, I will also be the Lady's knight. Are you perhaps not satisfied with me as your sword?"
"It is not desirable to covet a sword that has an owner."
"You are asserting as if it has already been decided."
"You are no different from a symbol of the Bishvarts Family knights. So wouldn't it be natural? So, Sir. Please stop tormenting me now. I'm already tired."
Should I just run away? A serious impulse was rising. I couldn't guess how long I would have to argue with him about this issue.
I'm so frustrated that I didn't realize that Lustewin Halberd was such a stubborn person before. It was even more so with his voice answering nonchalantly, as if the anger from just now was a lie.
"That's a very fortunate thing. Since you're tired, your heart must have become more generous."
"Good heavens. How can you be so rude!"
"Then shall I beg? Then will you show me some pity?"
Now he's even kneeling. I made Lustewin Halberd, who has no reason to bend his knee except for an oath to his lord and an oath to a lady, kneel.
Even though it is not a place to prove his honorable courage and fidelity.
Moreover, the eyes that meet are desperate and earnest. The deeply swaying eyes that crave something sparkle as if to bewitch people. So much so that I almost said 'of course' without realizing it.
Therefore, if I hadn't barely bitten my tongue to hold back, the former Sis, who greedily raised her head, would have taken over the lead of reason.
