35 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards Episode 35
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“May I go to my room now? I’m a little tired.”
Before my words were even finished, Roena shook her head and pleaded. She tightened her grip on our clasped hands, wishing I would stay here a little longer.
“Sissae, just a moment. Please give me a little more time. There’s just one more thing I want to talk about.”
Was there something else? I felt a sigh about to escape.
“What is it?”
“Um, well, I wanted to tell Sissae this. That you shouldn't have done that back then.”
“Roena, wait, is what you want to say now advice?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Roena nodded shyly, her cheeks flushing a soft pink. Her flushed face sparkled with a peculiar delight. It was the base superiority complex seen only in intellectuals enlightening the ignorant.
So, you held me back just to show me this side of yourself?
In that instant, a past nightmare resurfaced. How many times had I crumbled because of this expression?
I barely managed to swallow my ragged breath and asked Roena,
“Did I make some kind of mistake? What was it? Ah, I see. There was something I couldn’t tell you at the hunting grounds because I was mindful of others’ eyes. You really are so kind, Roena.”
“No. I just wanted Sissae to know…”
“Mm-hmm, it’s alright. I’m just grateful for your kindness. Then, I will listen with a happy heart. Tell me. What is it you want me to know?”
“Actually, Sissae, you shouldn’t have sent away the servant who almost injured you like that.”
I almost let out a disbelieving laugh, but I held it in. Then, feigning forgetfulness, I spoke slowly.
“A servant? What servant? What… Ah, you mean the servant who almost injured me due to negligence in horse care?”
“Yes, that’s right. Sissae, you might not know, but entrusting a servant who made a mistake to their master is truly an unforgiving act. You should have forgiven them instead.”
“Why?”
“Surely, that person must have received a terrible punishment upon returning. There is no crime as grave as endangering a Count’s daughter. The lady of the house would surely have punished him for the sake of her own honor. But it wasn’t intentional, was it? It was clearly a mistake. Sissae, I believe that embracing subordinates who make mistakes is also a virtue a lady must possess.”
Roena looked up at me. The smile had vanished from her face, replaced by seriousness. It was the uniquely benevolent face of Roena de Bishbalz, the one everyone praised so highly.
“If you punish them every time they make a mistake, everyone will come to dislike you. Embrace what you can embrace to the best of your ability. Show mercy and generosity. I want Sissae to do that.”
Yes, this is you. This pretense of being able to embrace everything is precisely the Roena I have come to despise.
I praised her hypocrisy with exaggerated flair, as if in a theatrical scene.
“Oh, I see. Thank you for telling me. I hadn’t considered that aspect. But I do have one question, may I ask?”
“Of course.”
“How can you determine that it wasn’t intentional? I still don’t quite understand.”
Not understand? I don’t even want to understand. But I was curious about her answer. What disgusting words she would use to amuse me.
“It’s very simple. Who would act with malicious intent? Above all, if Sissae, you believe in the other person’s conscience and good nature, you would know.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. If I stayed like this, I might push her aside and burst into loud, cackling laughter.
The other person’s conscience and good nature? What a ridiculous notion. Look at me standing before you, brimming with malice towards you. How dare anyone tell another to believe in human goodness!
Ah, Roena! Roena!! You are truly beyond redemption.
“Sissae?”
Roena called my name cautiously. I asked her with a gentle smile,
“Why?”
“No, you just seemed to have a frightening expression.”
“Surely, you must have seen wrong.”
“You think so?”
I nodded and said firmly,
“Of course. Roena, thank you for the advice. As I said, I’m truly glad you’re here. Please continue to offer me advice like this from time to time. It would make me very happy.”
“Of course, I will. Anytime.”
I lowered my head and kissed her cheek. Then, I whispered into her ear, which was flushed with embarrassment. These were the words I truly wanted to say to her, who was armed with kindness and compassion, the generous soul who believed in forgiving everything.
“But Roena, why aren’t you curious about why I was hurt?”
Why doesn’t the mercy you speak of extend to me? I asked Roena, feigning curiosity. I savored his gaze, which met mine with a face as pale as death.
In the past, I often imagined. What would it feel like to see Roena’s broken face? I wondered how ecstatic the expression of someone who had plunged deep into an abyss, not of physical pain but of mental ruin, would be.
But all I could see was his earnest gaze, filled with pity, looking at me with compassion.
That is why this moment is so joyous. It was too amusing to see her, the angel of the Bishbalz Family, tremble like a young bird caught in the jaws of a predator.
It was the primal shame revealed as the naked flesh of her inner self, stripped away without her even realizing it. Here lay the base pleasure that could be tasted by deeply contemplating another’s inner world.
I spoke in a subtle, pressing tone, urging her on.
“Tell me. If you think of me, if you consider me close enough to rush over and offer advice like this.”
Now, she was visibly trembling. I wanted to burst into laughter at Roena’s face, a mixture of confusion, bewilderment, shock, and despair, the face that revealed the inner torment I had so desperately longed to see in the past.
To think that this expression, which I couldn’t elicit through countless attempts, would appear with just a few words… It made me feel such pity for the past Sissae, that foolish, idiotic girl. It was such a simple thing, so easy, why didn’t I know it before I died?
“S-Sissae… I, I mean I…”
“Sissae, you make me think of so many things. Yes, you truly wouldn’t know. How tangled my thoughts were in the past. It was a difficult and arduous task, like exploring an unsolved mystery. Thanks to you, I was able to grasp the exact meaning of the word ‘deliberation.’ So, will you give me the answer? Miss Roena, who is so kind, gentle, and intelligent that you offer advice to your foolish stepsister.”
I reached out and gently caressed her cheek. It was a false tenderness, just enough to make it seem like loving sisters standing together. It was a smokescreen to support the words about to spill out.
“Or am I less valuable than that servant? No, are we even sisters?”
Is there a blade in this world sharper than the tongue? I can boldly assert that there is not.
Now, all that remains is Roena’s time for self-justification? In truth, the past me would have stood there blankly, unable to react to her tears at this point.
I would have been stunned by the situation, where a single tear turned the victim, unable to do anything. But the me of today is different. I will not be fooled and stand by idly.
I smiled faintly, looking at her face, her eyes welling up with tears. The sight of Roena’s face, so pure and beautiful that she was called an angel, gradually distorting with tears, was a rare spectacle not seen everywhere.
If I had my way, I would have enjoyed this expression longer, but the corridor I was in was a place that could easily attract attention, so further action was forbidden.
Therefore, there was no need to personally experience how sharp his weapon was or how much impact it had. It was merely confirmation that the weapon called ‘tears’ would no longer work on others.
“Shhh. I’m the one who wants to cry, Roena. Or are you planning to burst into tears here and make me even more ashamed? That’s too much. You wouldn’t cry so easily without aiming for something, would you? If not, won’t you stop?”
I brushed my finger lightly across her tear-moistened eyes. The tears of another touching my fingertips felt gritty, like mud. I might as well have dipped my hand into a mire.
Her deeply contorted face, filled with panic, was so repulsive I felt like vomiting. What more is there to say?
What was more dreadful was me, who now had to make Roena understand all of this.
“I believe my compassion is open to everyone, but it must arise from a situation that can be understood. So, shhh, please make me understand.”
I took a step back from Roena. Then, I declared in a firm tone,
“Above all, my personality is not so benevolent that I overlook everything. So, shouldn’t advice be given selectively? Or is this kind of thing insignificant?”
“S-Sissae.”
“Don’t come any closer!!”
“That’s not it. I…”
The hand hovering in the air trembled slightly. It swayed pathetically, unable to find direction, perhaps honestly expressing its owner’s heart. But what good was that? It was merely an act for show.
A snake hissed, expelling a breath from deep within its body towards its prey. Its narrow, slit eyes gleamed with anticipation of what was to come.
“You are truly cruel. To make me say these things. Roena, you plunged me into the mire in an instant. You clearly showed everyone that I am in a worse state than that servant. How kind you are. You even offer the forgiveness I cannot give. Yes, are you satisfied now?”
“Sissae, please. Don’t. No. Truly, no.”
“Then what is it? Huh? Is it an expression of superiority towards your stepsister, who cannot even utter words of forgiveness?”
“Sissae!!”
“If this is the direction your advice is heading, I would rather remain in a state of shame.”
I smiled and bid farewell to Roena, who was desperately holding back tears.
“Is class over for today, Teacher Roena? It was a truly beneficial time.”
If she had any consideration for me at all, she would not have committed the rudeness of trying to stop me further.
Fortunately, Roena still had some conscience left, and she let me go in a very awkward state, neither crying nor showing any further emotion.
Though her expression, as our eyes met, was one of utter desolation, as if she had lost everything in the world, I felt no stir of emotion.
