Ch#254
This perfectly coincided with the time I had shaken him off and fled during the masquerade ball. Therefore, there was no more appropriate time than this to carry out what I had intended.
I looked at the Crown Prince and smiled brightly. I wore an ecstatic smile, squinting my eyes as if I couldn't be any happier.
At the same time, I dropped the shoe I was holding onto the floor. I was no longer a woman who would be caught in your hands, Your Highness, watching your every move.
*Crash—*
The glass beads attached to the shoe shattered into pieces, scattering in every direction. Some shards flew high and brushed past me as if to scratch me, but I wasn't afraid at all. I simply felt relieved. I felt as if I could fly into the sky. The knot that should have been tied long ago was finally being finished this way.
*Dong—*
"You will eventually come to find me with that one piece. At that time, I shall have you repay the debt on the back of your hand as well."
The final means by which he and I could be bound as "us" was shattered into pieces. Now, unless there was a plausible reason, there would be no reason for me to meet him alone, he who would soon become Emperor. It was a perfect severance.
Thus, I spoke cheerfully with a laugh-mixed tone to the Crown Prince, who was staring wordlessly at the shards of the broken glass shoe.
"As you have seen me suffer due to Your Highness's suspicion, please pity me and let the debt on the back of my hand pass. I shall humbly accept the marriage with Rade Relshin. Being a generous Highness, surely you will nonchalantly accept the greeting of a girl who is not in her right mind due to sorrow? Then, farewell."
*Dong—*
"Stay right there."
The Crown Prince spoke to me. I hurried my steps as if I hadn't heard. Then, he shouted my name as if screaming.
"Sise de Bischwaltz! I told you to stand there!"
The Crown Prince's hand grabbed my arm. I shook it off fiercely with a look of contempt, as if it were loathsome. At my behavior, which showed revulsion as if I were nauseated just by being touched, his hand hovered in the air.
"Do not touch me. My responding to Your Highness's call was solely to return the shoe. Therefore, Your Highness can no longer coerce me."
"You..."
How does it feel to be bitten by the dog you had forcibly choked? It must be a first-time sensation for the Crown Prince. To feel his own helplessness.
But what more could he do here? Is he going to try and glue the shattered glass slippers back together?
I sneered at him standing there in blank dismay and moved my steps again. As if I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.
*Dong—*
The sound of the bell felt like the beating of a heart. Now I was practically running. Holding the hem of my dress with both hands, I quickly opened the door. And I ran down the corridor like the Sise of my childhood who used to run through the back alleys.
Behind my back, the Crown Prince's voice was spreading like a sob. But it wasn't heard. Nothing could catch me.
I leapt into the hall where everyone was gathered like a deer and threaded through the gaps between the people looking at me.
In later days, I cast aside both decorum and etiquette to the point that people would say it was quite pitiful how I fled from everyone as if in shock and escaped outside.
Every step I took felt amazingly light and refreshing, as if wings had sprouted on my back. No one could stop me.
After running and running like that, as I approached the family carriage, I was pulled into the arms of Knight Aires, who was standing still as if he had known I would come here.
Being wrapped in his solid and stable embrace and feeling his familiar scent, my whole body trembled. Perhaps because the tension had broken, the strength was leaving my legs.
Good heavens, I escaped. That bastard couldn't catch me.
Not only that, now I am Bischwaltz. Sise de Bischwaltz! I have become fully myself! I, I have become myself!
"Have you achieved everything you desired?"
A soft voice descended into my ears, which were out of their senses due to the thrill. It filled my chest to the brim.
I raised my eyes to look at him. Knight Aires was smiling as if he understood. As if he knew why I had made such a choice.
"Yes."
"That is truly joyful news."
"I'm sorry, Knight Aires. I... I..."
I spoke to him, panting lowly as if I were suffocating. I felt like I would go mad because the apology wouldn't flow out properly. Ah, what should I do with this man?
The person who always finds me and reaches out a hand of salvation. The man who would throw away his own pride and honor for me without a second thought. He, who must have been standing here alone waiting only for me, was so lovely I couldn't bear it.
"Didn't I tell you? That your will is my will."
"But you, Sir..."
Then a light kiss descended on my forehead like a feather. The words that followed were an absolution for me.
"It's alright. Now you will call me Mel, won't you?"
I asked him back, barely suppressing my throat which was becoming choked with tears.
"From now on, everyone will trample on your honor and mock you, Knight Aires. Even so, do you wish to be called by an alias by me? Do you not hate me?"
"If you become happy because of that, then willingly."
"You might regret today's decision in the future. Surely you will."
"No, I shall take pride in having made the best choice of my life. Just as I always have."
Ah, I can no longer endure this. I saw no way to escape his arms. I thought I had gained freedom from the Crown Prince, but instead, I was perfectly captured by this man.
I breathed heavily as if gasping and called his alias. The word rolling on the tip of my tongue was as sweet as if it were coated in honey.
"Mel."
Then, as if he had been waiting, he called my nickname. It was a polite yet shy resonance.
"Yes, Sise."
"Mel."
"Yes, Sise. It is your Mel."
"Mel."
"Yes, Sise. Please call me more."
I reached out and gripped his clothing tightly. As if that were everything in the world.
Soon, with a gentle laugh, the man's face descended toward me. The pitiful man who had sacrificed everything for me, and would continue to do so, was showering me with kisses of worship as if he were utterly ecstatic.
*Dong—*
I savored the happy pleasure, trembling at the thrill that started from my lips.
*Dong—*
The bell announcing midnight continued to ring out, beautifully embroidering the night sky of the Victory Banquet. As if to celebrate my victory.
***
Sise de Bischwaltz accepted the Crown Prince's command. Thus, the Crown Prince appointed his hero, Rade Relshin, as Rade Bischwaltz, the Count.
For a while, the social circle seethed with sympathy for the Crown Prince, Rade Relshin, and the pitiful girl who had become a political sacrifice because of a cold-hearted lover.
I was a popular person wherever I went, and everyone was anxious to talk to me. When news spread that Rade Relshin—no, Rade Bischwaltz—was acting as if he would give me even his liver out of guilt, everyone's interest reached its peak.
The fact that Knight Aires, who was known to have abandoned me, still stayed by my side with a sweet smile was also enough to pique their curiosity. Some even sneered at me, asking if I had thrown away my pride because I was blinded by love.
But that was only temporary; once the Emperor began to draw his sword against the traitors, everyone held their breath and watched his reaction as if they were frozen. The guillotine was drenched in blood and had no time to dry, and several times a day, the Imperial Knights galloped out of the Imperial Palace on horseback. Days filled with madness continued.
And finally, when Duke Kiran's head fell beneath the guillotine, the Crown Prince ascended as the most noble person of the Empire.
The Empress was banished to a villa in the countryside on the grounds of poisoning the late Emperor and was to live there in life-long confinement. Her life would likely be spared until the Grand Duke, who had fled, was captured.
However, no one dared criticize the Emperor's conduct as cold-hearted or cruel. An Empress without power was not worth protecting. Therefore, the people of the social circle coldly forgot her. As if the Emperor were a person born without a mother.
While everyone was struggling to adapt to the new era like this, a wind of change was also blowing in House Bischwaldz. A parting, which some call a farewell, had arrived at my house.
The first was Rystewin Halberd Knight. One day, he came to me as I sat in the study and spoke in a resolute tone.
"Please send me to the Imperial Palace."
I immediately sensed his intent and wore a bitter smile. So I dissuaded him in a soft, soothing tone.
"Knight, do not do that. If you leave, what will become of the family? Please stay, for everyone's sake."
But Knight Halverd's thought was firm. This clever man was striving in his own way to protect House Bischwaldz. Thus, he had come to me to perform the best action he could.
"If I enter the Imperial Knights, there will be no more reason for House Bischwaldz to be on everyone's lips."
I also felt his concern well enough. I had already been thinking that the family's name was being mentioned too much in the social circle.
And for good reason. Not only was a plausible heir like Rade Relshin organizing the family, but Michael Aires still stayed by Sise de Bischwaltz's side with a sweet smile.
Furthermore, the ones backing Bischwaltz were House Dibenzel, and her close friends were the noble ladies of the ducal families.
Even if Rade Bischwaltz was in hiding under the pretext of illness, it didn't mean the jealous gazes were disappearing. Even if things were quiet now, it was certain they would catch on to something and persist later.
But if Knight Halverd were pulled into the Emperor's embrace, all such talk would vanish.
"And it seems I will be able to look at you properly only after escaping the relationship of lord and vassal. I cannot keep looking only at your back."
"Pardon?"
"Was the book interesting? I hope it does not disappear like the handkerchief I gave you."
"Knight Halverd..."
When I couldn't even continue my words, he rose and approached me. And in a cautious tone, he asked if he could kiss the back of my hand.
"If my sincerity has been conveyed, please let me go. This is the first and last request I make of you, My Lady. Let me protect you, My Lady, at least in this way."
He kissed the back of my hand reverently and spoke in a tone close to a plea. Cruelly, this man knew that I would have no choice but to grant his request. And that for everyone's sake, it had to be so.
Thus, according to his request, I finally gave freedom to Rystewin Halberd, the Knight of the Clear Sound whom the Sise of the past had long for so much. Simultaneously, I also shook off the single point of lingering attachment in my heart without hesitation.
Rystewin Halberd went to the Emperor that day and offered his sword. People praised the wisdom of Rade Bischwaltz for showing full loyalty to the Emperor.
The Emperor, valuing Knight Halverd's reputation and skill, granted him the title of Count and reorganized the Imperial Knights to make him the Commander, having him lead the army alongside another Commander, Knight Aires—he eventually gave him the title of Commander as well.
Since Knight Halverd's fief and castle could be granted from those recovered from the traitors, there was no problem. They only rejoiced that the Emperor's swords had increased.
The second parting was Roena. It was because Count Rade Bischwaltz declared he would send Roena to a villa in the countryside for a while.
He fiercely condemned the fact that Valerian de Bischwaltz had ended up limping because of her and said he had to do this even for his aunt's health. The day she would return was the day of her debut in the social circle, which was still nearly a year away.
People realized by his words that by overtly excluding Roena, he would not tolerate maternal relatives who insisted she was the true heir.
Furthermore, although everyone was hushing it up, rumors were circulating that the reason the Count's illness had deepened was not a side effect of saving the Emperor, but because of Roena. The story was that because she did not acknowledge the Count of Bischwaltz, she had been swayed by the maternal relatives and fed him poison.
As if they had ever defended Roena, people mentioned her association with the imprisoned Empress and murmured that it could be so. Saying that otherwise, the Count of Bischwaltz wouldn't have cast Roena out like this.
Perhaps because Rade Relshin's actions were heroized, many people still showed a very generous attitude toward him. Even though he was a man who rarely revealed his face in official places, no one criticized his conduct.
They only barely inferred his life by looking at my face as I carried out active movements in the social circle.
It was because I had constantly appealed that my thoughts were Rade Bischwaltz's thoughts. Before long, rumors spread widely in the social circle that he couldn't live without me. Ridiculously so.
At any rate, as soon as Roena heard she was being kicked out to a country villa, she came to me crying and clinging. Perhaps because she hadn't yet heard of Rade Relshin's true identity from the Madam, she insisted she had to meet the new Count.
Come to think of it, did they say Madam de Lavallière still hadn't regained consciousness after collapsing that day? The shock must have been immense.
"Roena, there is one piece of unfortunate news. We couldn't find Mago. But if you stay at the villa, I'll find her somehow and send her to attend to you. So go and wait quietly."
Roena opened her eyes wide as if she couldn't believe my words. Seeming to find it cold that I wasn't taking her side, she spoke to me while weeping profusely.
"Sise, why are you listening to that man? He used you to seize the family. He's using Mother as an excuse to come in and ruin our family. But why are you so composed? Do you like living as the wife of a man you don't love? Do you not even feel people pitying you?"
I didn't know who was pitying whom, but Roena saw me as a foolish woman who was resigned and submissive to Rade Relshin. So she persuaded me that it was very unfair and that I shouldn't stay like this. Her voice, mixed with sobs, was filled with all the dissatisfaction and complaints of the world.
"Do I look foolish? Do I seem like I'm not in my right mind?"
"Anyone who sees you now would think so. Do not act stupidly. Do you not know what kind of behavior you're showing right now?"
"Well, to me, it only looks like you're throwing a tantrum to get the family back. Just like the rumor that you fed poison to the Count who will be my husband."
"I don't do such base things. Sise, whose side are you on? How can you defend that man?"
"He's the Count acknowledged by the Emperor. So what more could I do here?"
"No, I am here. The Bischwaltz blood flows in me, so why are you giving up already? You said so. That you would give me the seal."
I fell silent at her words and stared at her intently. Roena's face, stripped of its layer by greed, was startlingly vivid.
Yes, our conversation must proceed in this state. Only then could it be considered fair.
In the past, when Roena released me from prison, people admired her generous heart. And they cursed me for not being grateful for Roena's mercy. But that was something they could say only because they didn't know her true inner self.
Before returning, I was nothing more than a stepping stone for Roena to grow. Just as light feels brighter because of darkness. So she went out of her way to pull me out and boast of her own goodness.
The conversation we had when I committed suicide confirmed this thought.
'Answer me. You knew, didn't you? You knew from a certain moment that something was going wrong! But you hid behind everyone and only peeked out.'
'Yes, but I thought everyone did it like me. Because it was something that had to be done so naturally, I couldn't understand your feelings, Sister.'
The most beautiful girl who perfectly mastered noble etiquette, the angel-like girl who spoke in a kind tone even to lowly servants—it was possible because she was an unevolved child.
The superiority of looking down on me as if it were natural. The baseness of wielding goodness like a weapon. A perfect pretense that everyone had to be fooled by.
What would have happened if I hadn't returned with my memories intact? Would we still be running wild to devour each other?
The current me has taken her position. I removed the stepping stone for her growth, I made her starve as she hungered for affection, and finally, I am trying to kick her out of her castle.
It was for my own safety. Because I hoped the future I had tasted before would not be repeated, I shoved the life of a girl who might have become the Crown Princess by now into the mire.
If someone knew this, they would call me a demon and curse me. But what of it? Even so, Roena pities me and looks down on me.
Anyway, we are an incompatible destiny. Whether I devour her or she devours me, one had to be the other's shadow. And reaching the present, the winner was I, Sise de Bischwaltz.
I lowered my voice as much as possible and imitated the voice of the man Roena had been searching for so desperately.
"Roena de Bischwaltz. My house does not need you."
"Just now... Sise, what just now... no, why is that man's voice coming from you?"
"Did you not say you wanted to meet him?"
"L-Lie."
"You said you didn't feed poison to the Count of Bischwaltz, but that was revealed to be a lie. All the evidence has already come out. If Sise, who will be my wife, hadn't pleaded with me for your sake, you would have been dragged to prison."
"Nonsense. It's a lie. Right? Sise, tell me it is so."
"If you want to believe that, you may. But your going to the villa for recuperation is a decided matter, so just leave quietly."
"...This is a scam. You've fooled everyone. I cannot acknowledge this. I will let it be known that Rade Relshin is a fake. I'll tell my aunt!"
"The Madam knows. No, most people know. Including His Highness the Emperor. Since he made the Count, it must be so."
Roena froze at my words. She gasped, her face turned pale as a sheet. Her eyes, shaking as if she couldn't believe it, were quite pitiful enough to evoke sympathy.
"W-What?"
"Pitiful Roena. How truly wretched. To think you know nothing. But what can be done? Your capacity is only this much. I suppose I must look after you while enduring your foolishness."
I said her name with a long drawl as if mocking. And clicking my tongue lowly, I stroked her cheek.
Just as she had done before, I looked at her with a gaze that pitied the wretched and acted as a generous master. I shattered the superiority she secretly harbored toward me.
"For your sake, I shall attach Mullang, who was the head maid, as the maid to accompany you. She is very skilled with her hands. So there will be no problem in making you look pretty. Since she was originally your maid, she'll be more familiar."
"You... you had this in mind from the beginning...!"
I looked at her and wore a triumphant smile. As if I wouldn't deny it.
Shards of the Broken Glass Shoe