Translator: Nox

Ch#249

Chapter 249**

An unevolved Roena. A childish Roena. A pitiful Roena who had to burst into tears while wrapped in someone’s skirts.

If I were to describe her current appearance, it would be exactly like that. A pathetic girl, driven out of her mind by fear, stood there.

Who could possibly call her an angel now? Perhaps a madwoman, but nothing more.

Roena continued to vomit excuses filled with self-love. Not a shred of apology toward our mother or Lian could be seen.

Thus, I did not wrap my arms around her shoulders or offer words of comfort. Far from words of sympathy, I simply stared at her blankly as if I couldn't understand her. The more Roena shook my body, the more the shadows that had bound me felt as if they were snapping away in pieces.

Eventually, I reached out and lightly lifted her chin. It was to admire her face, which was perfectly distorted by despair.

*Ah, yes. This is it.* I quietly swallowed the laughter surging within me. Eyes messy with a mixture of rage, sorrow, hunger, and despair gazed back at me.

It was an ecstatic, thrilling sensation. The single shard of hope she held onto with the word 'still'—even while resenting me—felt sweeter than honey. A fracture, unlike anything seen in physical abuse, was in full bloom.

Was that why? For the first time, I thought Roena’s face was beautiful. It wasn't pure admiration based on a general structure of beauty, but the humanly ugly, crushed emotions that perfectly captivated me. A shallow pity made me giddy with joy.

Rather than condemning her for saddening our mother over the matter with Lian, I felt a base joy in the fact that she was ruined. Roena’s foolishness, still not knowing what words she should speak, was making me happy.

*You have become me. I no longer have to look at your shadow. Only after returning like this has our position finally been reversed. Oh, what an ugly heart this is.*

The girl who had overwhelmed me was now gone. The perfect girl who had incited my inferiority complex would now live vividly only in my memories, destined to blur and melt away like a haze at any time.

I trembled at the thrill of the illusion that had been sharply lodged in my brain like a shard, making me fearful, now being perfectly shattered into pieces.

How should I express this refreshing emotion? Freedom? Perhaps. Because Roena de Bischwaldz had become nothing. Because she was no different from any other noble lady. Because she had become ordinary. If Lady Shatoru had become physically free, I had been mentally liberated.

Though her soul-stirring beauty, lovely attitude, and deeply ingrained etiquette remained, those were things any other lady possessed, so they were not worrying.

Her attitude of throwing a tantrum wrapped in her own logic was no different from Lady Sorin. Ordinary without being special. It was an exhilarating thought just to imagine.

Suppressing the smile that threatened to slip out, I spoke to her. No matter whose hand had brought about the nightmare of House Bischwaldz, the time to tremble with a sense of betrayal had already passed, so my inability to sympathize with her emotions felt quite amusing. This was even more so because the attitude she would show was clear.

"Ah, yes. I suppose it was like that. It must have been hard and lonely... It could be so. I understand. That’s why you’re committing such rude acts without hesitation."

Roena bit her lip as if stung by my half-hearted response. Her harshly crushed lips soon beaded with bright red blood. Thinking I didn't believe her, she tried to protest. But I continued speaking, feigning ignorance. My gaze was entangled in the air, burning passionately.

"That is why I am saying it again. To me, there is only you."

The voice flowing out was quite numb, even to my own ears. The tone, flowing flatly as if reading a script, seemed to say, 'I'll say it since it's the word you want.'

If it had been before, I would have coaxed her with sweet words, but as I didn't hide my annoyance, Roena’s eyes flickered. It was a contempt for herself, being relieved by such a meager word.

Nevertheless, she did not loosen the strength in her hands gripping my shoulders. No, she couldn't have. Had she never known the emotion to begin with, it might be different, but since she was one who had received everyone's worship, she had no choice but to cling desperately even to this level of emotional hunger.

How long must the time spent 'alone' have been, from the attic to the prison? It was like offering a drop of sweet water to someone dying of dehydration, so she had no choice.

So she continued to look at me as if asking for more. Even as her chin, where my fingertips touched, trembled, she did not miss the underlying emotion of ecstasy. The light growing clearer in her wavering eyes was a false hope. Due to Mago's absence, Roena had become completely emotionally starved.

"I understand the fear you must have felt. No, I must understand. Who else is there to think of you more than I? Yes, how fearful and scary must it have been to face it alone? Is that why you needed me? Did you think of me? How much? I was so worried about you."

At the words whispered softly like a murmur, Roena’s throat bobbed heavily. *Gulp.* At the vivid sound, uncharacteristic of a noble lady, she wore a very embarrassed expression.

"Sise... I, I thought of you too."

"My, you’ve even become skilled at receiving words you don't mean."

At my reply, Roena’s face turned pale. I shrugged and continued speaking casually as if I didn't care.

"Anyway, Roena, lovely N. All I can give you are these words. I cannot agree with your words and be angry with you. You say Lady Roshan ruined the family? And that you had no choice but to follow Pulkeor’s orders? But look at yourself now. Look at what has happened. Think about who the monarch standing upright under the heavens is. Regrettably, at this point, all we can do is—"

I pulled my lips back into a soft smile.

"—nothing at all. Doesn't seeing me, having come to find you by borrowing another's name, prove that?"

It was too late to shift the responsibility to someone else; the Crown Prince's power was too great. The nobles who could check him within the empire had almost vanished. It became even more so as the Kiran family fell and House Debonzel supported the Crown Prince. Thus, even if Lady Roshan had ruined House Bischwaldz, there was no way to do anything about it.

Above all, Lady Roshan showed no signs of wanting House Bischwaldz to rise again. Seeing as she preserved the property but provided no further help, it was clear. With her power, she could have sent full support for reconstruction, yet she stopped at merely cleaning the interior of the mansion.

It was an attitude she could take because she had laid a shallow trick like a trap. Ah, the Crown Prince truly raised a wonderful 'dog.' A well-bred bitch who would flip her belly over for him.

And for good reason—how could a girl who had only just entered the noble world rebuild a ruined house? Rather, it would be a relief if she weren't swallowed whole by relatives or surrounding swindlers.

...If not that, she would have to cling to them—no, to the Crown Prince. That was the future Lady Roshan wanted.

However, I have 'Rade Relshin.' The hero who saved the Crown Prince. A man of humble status who deserves to have his achievements recognized. The only thing even the Crown Prince cannot easily touch. The man who would go from strength to strength with the support of House Debonzel was currently within me.

So, I suddenly grew curious. What kind of expression would you wear, Roena, if you learned of Rade Relshin's existence?

As I stared at her blankly, Roena’s face distorted. From her parted lips, a wish flowed out like a plea.

"You... you didn't come to take me away?"

Instead of answering, I set my nails over her hands gripping my shoulders and slid them down quickly. Roena, feeling the pain, let out a short scream and fell away from me. Over her pale hand, where dust had settled, a single line of bright red blood bloomed elegantly.

She looked at me with trembling eyes. Being a glass-like girl with no immunity to pain, she couldn't believe the action I had just taken against her. Her eyelashes flickered and moved like petals.

Understandably so—in the noble world, a wound was a disgrace. Failing to treat a wound on the body in a timely manner proved that one's finances were difficult or that one lacked the capability. Except for knights, it was rare for anyone to leave a hideous mark on their body.

And that was even more true for noble ladies raised like flowers. But now that I had inflicted such a disgrace upon her, she couldn't help but be shocked.

"Excuse me, my shoulders were aching. I don't know why trying to grab your hands ended up like this."

I spoke nonchalantly as if I regretted it. It wasn't a lie; the shoulders Roena had gripped were truly throbbing.

"Still, how could you do this to me!"

Roena condemned me like an exclamation. However, she couldn't actually lunged at me. It was because she was afraid of being injured again. Instead, she began to sob, her body trembling all over.

I watched the scene leisurely. It was quite nice to see her shrinking back and watching my reactions, when just a moment ago she had been clutching my body so fiercely. It was the first time that tears falling weakly didn't feel nauseating.

"That's why I said excuse me."

At the firm words, Roena’s mouth clamped shut. Whether she was suppressing her anger, blood began to bead again on her immature lips.

"What's more regrettable is that I've had to teach you the word 'resignation' in this way. It's truly a shame. But what power do I have to get you out of here? As you said, I am not the heir. Ah, don't look at me like that. My heart is also breaking with pain."

"Are you really leaving me here?"

"Roena, you're an angelically kind girl, so this level of hardship is nothing to you, right? Who doesn't know that your patience is as vast as an open field? You're truly admirable. Thanks to that, I can also feel a bit relieved."

"B-But Sise, you didn't open the door for me last time either. So what am I supposed to believe to wait for you?"

"Good heavens, Roena. I've told you time and again. The only one I'm looking at is you. Regrettably, you're suffering this ordeal because you were caught up in Pulkeor’s affairs, but it's only for a moment. Yes, let's call it a trial. Shall we say it's a stage for you to grow?"

As I took a step closer, Roena hid the injured hand behind her back and retreated. The terrified beast, while wishing for salvation, was instinctively wandering in search of a way to live.

I pushed the corners of my mouth up. And I tried to smile virtuously, just as I had been taught before.

"You want me to love you? Oh, heavens. Who could not love you? You, who are so beautiful. That is why I even believe your story that you tried to save Lian from Pulkeor but ended up hurting him. Even though it's a story even Mother didn't believe."

The voice flowing out like a song was quite soft, but carried little inspiration. And anyone who wasn't a fool could tell it was an empty word. However, Roena stood dazed, staring at me as if she had lost her soul, and muttered.

"You love me? Because I'm beautiful? You believe me?"

I approached her closely and bowed my head. And kissing her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, and her forehead in turn, I whispered.

"Yes. That's why I came all this way to meet you like this. Please, try to believe me too. They say a moderate amount of suspicion is a virtue, but you're truly extreme. How long are you going to keep tearing my heart to shreds? Think of House Bischwaldz when you return."

Thinking of her, who would return to find herself with the name Bischwaldz but unable to exercise any influence, writhing in despair—this level of contact was fine.

Thinking that she would taste the same sense of defeat I had felt made me so joyful. Even though a revulsion, like kissing a snake, was surging within me.

"Sise... right. You seemed to reject me, yet you always reached out. That's why I had no choice but to choose you too. Truly, this time, you really will come to get me, right?"

I nodded while stroking her hair with a gentle touch. And I nonchalantly spat out a lie she would like.

"Of course. Oh, right. I'm thinking of looking for Mago this time. Surely I can do that much for you, who will return safely? By now, that foul temper of hers must have subsided, so she won't interfere with our friendship anymore."

"Mago? But you don't like her."

As soon as I heard Roena’s words, I don't know what impulse hit me, but a part of the words she had said to me before I committed suicide came to mind. So I spat them out without realizing it.

*'But it's the past. We can start over.'*

"I know what you're thinking. But it's the past. We can start over."

*We?* What a laughable lie.

However, my answer seemed to please her quite a bit, as her face brightened noticeably. Thinking that the one who had shown her blind devotion was returning, she seemed to have finally found some stability.

"Start over? Yes. We can start over. Us. Sise, so please come to save me quickly."

If a princess in a fairy tale were to look at a prince wishing for salvation, it would be exactly like this. Where the mad appearance from a moment ago and the wariness toward the wound on her hand had vanished, I couldn't even manage a laugh at her returning to the state of a gentle lamb once more.

*You’re going mad too. You’re out of your mind. Just like I was before.*

I thought quietly, harboring a sneer. Why did the Crown Prince try to prevent me from meeting this version of Roena? She was nothing more than a useless child. What was all this for?

Roena leaned into my arms and quietly inhaled. The trembling of her shoulders had largely subsided.

***

Lady Debonzel did not hide that I associated with her circle. Just as Lady Roshan had done, she also took me here and there, flaunting me ostentatiously.

Our relationship, which had been nothing more than an acquaintance before the rebellion, had now transformed into a close friendship. In the eyes of others, I was no different from the Lady's right hand. Among the Debonzel circle, I was the only one who could walk shoulder-to-shoulder with her.

People tilted their heads in wonder as the Lady, known for sharing impartial affection and trust with everyone, gave only me special treatment. It seemed interesting to them that she cherished someone from House Bischwaldz, who was entangled in various complicated circumstances, so much.

*'What kind of charm does that girl have that Lady Roshan and Lady Debonzel both keep her close? Is she worth it? Her family is a mess.'*

Whenever people saw me, they whispered like this in low voices. It had just been announced that the family of my best friend, Lady Roshan, would receive a large reward for their service in suppressing the rebellion.

Yet, as the daughter of a ducal house with no less power treated me so solicitously, they seemed to think there was something to me.

Otherwise, there was no reason for me to be favored by two women who were already secretly fighting over the throne of the social circle queen.

Perhaps that was why. House Bischwaldz, which had been almost like merchants with only a noble title while my stepfather was alive, began to attract the attention of the social circle once again.

Rumors were spreading secretly among the ladies who had not yet debuted that befriending me meant one could approach Lady Roshan or Lady Debonzel. They thought that unless they possessed considerable wealth or power, they would only ever see the hems of the two ladies' dresses, so they would at least try to catch hold of me.

I watched it all quietly. I merely stared as they scrambled to be the first to greet me. Without taking any action or saying a word, I waited calmly for time to flow. Until Lady Debonzel and Lady Roshan reacted.

Surprisingly, Lady Debonzel accepted this situation generously. She seemed to think the people gathering around me were the final struggles of the pitiful ones without power.

Above all, since the Lady underestimated me as a newcomer who had only just adjusted to the social circle, she was certain I would stop at this level of position.

So she even laughed contentedly as if it were impressive. Her inner thought was clearly visible—that I would cling to her even more now that I had gained such benefits through my friendship with her.

On the other hand, Lady Roshan showed an attitude of regret and anxiety. She seemed to feel quite slighted by the fact that I associated frequently with Lady Debonzel.

In the midst of that, as others flocked to me, she didn't know what to do. Rather than dissatisfaction over me building a following, she was worried that the Crown Prince's gaze toward me, as I grew in power, would turn to one of displeasure.

"It's not good to receive this much attention at a time like this."

She advised me sincerely. While the disposition of Knight Sylphice had not yet been decided, it was very dangerous for House Bischwaldz—which possessed private soldiers (the Crown Prince had disbanded all the nobles' private soldiers as soon as the rebellion was suppressed)—to emerge as an issue-maker.

"Moreover, talk about Knight Halverd is surfacing. And the returned troops as well. Sise’s beauty is also becoming a topic of conversation once again."

House Bischwaldz, without a rightful heir, was masterless land. It was no different from saying that if someone could get their hands on the young girl of the family, or the young widowed Countess, they could enjoy all of this.

On top of that, as the precious daughter of House Debonzel overtly favored me, their mouths couldn't help but water. Because of this, courtship letters, which had never come before, poured in by the dozens every day. Even though it was known that I was the lover of Michael Aires.

"I am so worried about Sise. This is sincere. As I've told you time and again, I am your true friend and I wish for your happiness more than anyone. That is why I am so fearful of the current attention."

Lady Roshan wanted me to remain under her protection. She hoped to maintain the kind of relationship where she took me to shops and personally picked out and put a necklace on me.

The emotion she showed was much deeper than the shallow friendship Lady Debonzel offered; at times, she displayed an attitude similar to Roena’s.

It meant that as long as the Crown Prince wasn't the priority, every action the lady showed was sincere. Yes, if only it weren't for that bastard of a Crown Prince. That was why a relationship like the previous one was no good. To fly freely, two wings were needed.

So I remained silent at her confession. At that, Lady Roshan spoke with a bitter smile.

"It's strange, isn't it? Lately, I can't see Sise’s heart. So I'm anxious. Are you holding my hand? Or was I not enough? Tell me. Is the current silence an affirmation or a denial? I have no idea at all what Sise is thinking these days."

When I continued to remain silent, Lady Roshan sighed and continued.

"If it's difficult to answer, I won't ask anymore. Because seeing you wear such an expression is very heartbreaking. But don't assume His Highness will be the same. He knows that Sise met Lady Roena along with the Lady. He will be calling for you soon."

I nodded quietly as if I understood. The Crown Prince, who was said to be processing documents even by cutting into his sleep time, had finally responded.

"Don't forget. He is essentially the Emperor, even if the coronation hasn't been held yet."

Deeply sunken eyes held me fully. Lady Roshan's voice was very heavy, as if weighted down.

"There is no longer anyone in the empire who can defy him."

Those words were more horrific than a death sentence.