Shattered Glass Slipper Shards Episode 174
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A trembling hand hovered in the air, hesitating before carefully landing on the man's shoulder. Even though it was a place I had touched before, I was acting clumsy, like someone setting foot in uncharted territory.
So I was startled, then only twitched my fingertips, then looked down at the round head visible from the palanquin with a sigh, and then raised my hand again to wipe the lukewarm moisture and heat from my palm on the hem of my skirt.
I blinked in surprise at his listlessly muttered voice, then bit my lip.
"If only I had met you first..."
As he swallowed the rest of his words and shrugged, I also exhaled and fidgeted with my fingers. My stiff knees and calves ached as if they were pulling, but I couldn't show any sign of it.
'Then I could have protected you from the beginning.'
The voice the man hadn't uttered echoed in my ears like a hallucination.
"I'm, I'm not feeling well."
I barely managed to open my mouth and mutter anything. This might be a compensatory feeling for the man who was showing his weakness without hesitation.
No, it was a shallow intention to show him that since he showed me this, I would show him too. As if I wouldn't accept words of gratitude, so I would do something like this instead.
"I can't sleep. I have nightmares."
Then he raised his head and looked at me. His almond-shaped, elongated, beautiful eyes contained a calm encouragement, as if telling me to continue, instead of a formal question of whether it hurt a lot. So I whispered as if I were talking to myself.
"I dream of that day. When I close my eyes, I'm always grabbed by a stranger and dragged away. No one saves me. So I'm afraid to sleep again."
"Since when has this been happening?"
"Always."
"Always? From then until now?"
"Yes, that's right."
"But just now..."
Sir Ayres asked, sounding puzzled. I smiled bitterly and shook my head from side to side.
"I'm barely holding onto the edge of consciousness."
But even in the midst of that, a moment that seemed sweet came. It was when this man came and covered me with his cloak.
In fact, I thought it was cozy at that moment, but it wasn't a blanket, so there was no way it could convey the softness of the spring sunshine.
But when the tip of my nose touched the cloak containing Sir Ayres' unique scent, I felt more comfortable than anything else in the world.
"But just now, strangely enough, I felt like I could fall asleep. I didn't even think about having a nightmare."
I met his gaze and said in a whisper.
"When I opened my eyes, you were there."
The choked voice was not at all befitting of all the grace that a noble lady should possess. It was just rough, as if spitting it out. But I felt like I had to say it like this. I thought that was the best I could do for Sir Ayres.
"It's strange. Why is that?"
Now the room was filled only with my voice and breathing. Michael Ayres widened his eyes in surprise and couldn't say anything. His fingers covering the back of my hand were growing cold. Was he nervous?
"Is it because of the cloak, or because of you, Sir?"
His shoulders flinched greatly at the words that flowed out like a soliloquy. I continued to speak without paying attention.
"I don't know yet..."
Maybe it wasn't what I thought, but I still couldn't stop reaching out and speaking pleadingly.
"So, will you give me your cloak, Sir?"
Because I couldn't possibly ignore his beautiful eyes, which were joyfully shimmering with anticipation.
... Now is the time to know for sure.
"My lady, you look very well these days."
Marie said as she opened the curtains and the window in the morning. I poured myself some lukewarm water prepared on the side table and nodded casually.
"Is the medicine working well?"
Marie rolled up her sleeves once and approached the bed. I was about to put my feet on the floor when I stopped her as she reached for the blanket, as if to tidy up the bed.
"Leave it as it is."
"Yes?"
"Didn't I tell you to just leave it?"
"Yes, my lady."
Inside the blanket was a cloak that only knights belonging to the Imperial Order of Knights could use, so it was difficult to look at it carelessly. Not only was the emblem of the empire ornately embroidered on it, but their uniforms were so famous that someone like Marie couldn't possibly not know about it.
So it was better to prevent her from seeing it from the beginning. If it was Marie, she would definitely recognize whose it was right away and start gossiping.
When I received his cloak from Michael Ayres that day, I had a feeling. I was skeptical that I really wouldn't have nightmares when I slept hugging an object containing his scent.
But the day I slept with his cloak on, I didn't have a single dream for the first time. Far from having nightmares, I couldn't wake up until almost noon, as if I was making up for the sleep I had been missing. It was the most sweet and refreshing sleep I had had in a long time.
Was that why? The strange feeling of sleeping with something containing Sir Ayres' scent disappeared, and only the reassurance that I was being protected by him took its place.
The sense of security I felt in Sir Ayres' arms that day seemed to have acted as a more powerful sedative than the medicine prescribed by the doctor.
Now, even though my own scent, which must be mine, remained on the cloak where all traces of him had disappeared, I was still able to sleep soundly because of this.
"Are you working in the study again today? Aren't you working too much these days? You should take a walk and get some rest. Your skin will be ruined if you keep this up."
As I haphazardly tidied up the blanket and walked to the dressing table to sit down, Marie picked up a comb and stood there as if she had been waiting. These days, Mother's irritability had increased, and it seemed that even the maids assigned to her were overwhelmed, so I had sent Seril and Blan.
So Marie was doing everything, from cleaning the room to taking care of the small chores.
She must have been quite overwhelmed to suddenly be doing the work that several people had been doing together, but she was working even more enthusiastically, as if she was happy to be alone with me. The fact that her skill in combing my hair had become twice as good as before was one example.
"How would you like your breakfast?"
"I have no appetite. So don't prepare anything."
Even though I was sleeping soundly, my appetite, once lost, didn't seem to return at all. So I almost always ate a light breakfast or just skipped it with a glass of water, and for lunch, I dipped bread in soup while looking at documents.
I ate dinner with Mother at her request, but I often left most of the meat given to me.
Marie, who tightened my waist with a silk ribbon every morning, was saddened to see my waist becoming looser to the point where she didn't have to pull it as hard as before. My cheeks, which had been a little soft due to baby fat, had already disappeared.
My smooth skin, with fine downy hairs, was still the same, but my increasingly sharp chin created a strange line along with my long neck.
My clear eyes, shining brightly and lowered, were more reminiscent of a cat's sharp eyes than gentle ones. There was nothing round about me.
So I seemed closer to a 'woman' than a 'girl'. Unlike before, I was putting in a lot of effort to manage myself, so my flower buds were sprouting early.
"You're beautiful, my lady."
I smiled at Marie's words. Among the noble women living in the empire, who wouldn't be told that they were beautiful by their maids after a simple morning grooming?
It was now a commonplace thing. Marie also continued to speak naturally, as if she didn't expect my reaction.
"Are you having soup and bread for lunch again today?"
"Bring some fruit too."
"Yes."
"Is Mother eating well?"
"She says she's very uncomfortable, so she can't eat well at all. But she seems to be trying to eat little by little for the sake of the baby in her belly, but it doesn't seem to be working."
It seemed that Mother was also feeling the anxiety that I was feeling, and she hadn't been able to eat anything since Father left for his business trip. She threw up everything she ate, which was reminiscent of the early stages of morning sickness.
"Make sure she eats somehow."
"Yes, I'll tell Seril and Blan."
"What about Roena?"
"She's been going out a lot. She goes to the Empress' Palace often."
"That often?"
"Yes. Oh, she also goes to the butler sometimes. Like last time."
After being kicked out of my room, Roena went to the butler and poured out her complaints, almost like a lament. She would have run to Mother as before, but their relationship had become very distant, so she couldn't complain about me.
Even if she went to Margo, she would only repeat the same words, so it wouldn't be very fresh. So she must have wanted to receive comfort from someone new, but there was no way that the fastidious butler would accept Roena's grumbling.
He might have treated her a little more leniently because they had known each other since childhood, but that was all. The end of his comfort was pouring Roena a cup of tea and silently standing next to her.
The old butler was not a gentle person, but he was still thoughtful and wise. He conveyed Roena's complaints to me without thinking of taking her side - even though he would have been more inclined to her, whom he had known for a long time - and silently followed my words, which showed that he was.
Even though Roena, Father's biological daughter, should be in charge of all the household affairs now that Mother's health was not good, he condoned me touching the Bishvarts Family's documents.
Rather, he advised me on what to do and helped me to handle the work well. Instead of the contempt sent by Margo and the others - they firmly believed that I was trying to take over the earldom - he acted as if it was natural to do this.
Thanks to that, I was able to manage the earldom's assets without any hesitation, and I was using those funds to track down Father.
Still, I thought I should know his true feelings, so one day I casually mentioned Roena as if by chance. As I pressed my throbbing eyes with my fingers, I said, 'I think not only me but also Roena should know about this,' and he pressed his lips tightly as if he was in trouble. His firmly set jaw was trembling slightly, as if he didn't know what to say.
'Miss Roena is still young.'
'There's no one as quick to learn as she is. She might even be better than me.'
'Coldness cannot be learned. Neither can decisiveness.'
The butler said firmly. It was a seemingly cold tone, but in fact, he wanted to protect Roena's innocence. He wanted her not to know about these things yet. So he didn't mention anything about the documents.
The fact that most of the documents he gave me were not really important, but only at a level that could last until Father returned, was also one of the reasons why Roena didn't have to step in. The real thing would only be able to be looked at by the true successor.
Of course, even those were too much for me to handle, but the butler seemed to think that it would be okay to do this much if I worked with him. As he said, I also had a more cold-hearted personality.
But the fact that nothing had been revealed even though a week had passed since the first incident weighed heavily on the butler and me.
Considering that the Crown Prince's birthday was only six days away, Father should have returned with a gift by now. But the fact that we couldn't find any news or traces of him until now was proof that something really happened.
The fact that the Crown Prince, who used to call me every week or two to talk, had been silent since Father's business trip was also unsettling.
Sir Ayres said that he had rushed over without knowing anything, but I couldn't easily say for sure because there was a possibility that the sly Crown Prince had secretly done something behind his back.
What if I had excluded him because I thought it was difficult to trust Sir Ayres anymore after the big fight?
"There has to be something that can be a turning point. That's the only way we can get a clear direction."
Even if I bit my lip in frustration, all I could do now was to try my best to keep the Bishvarts Family from shaking.
Of course, I was doing my best to collect data and find out about things in the meantime, but I still couldn't open the vault full of secret documents. So I was disappointed.
In the meantime, it was fortunate that Jack had formed a bond with a fairly famous back alley informant and was able to provide more reliable information.
The child showed me the crude pendant hanging around his neck - engraved with a rat and a bird - and said in an excited voice. He said that no one would be able to ignore him if he had this necklace.
'I'll be able to get the information you want, my lady, for a cheaper price too.'
I almost burst out laughing at the familiar pattern, but I barely managed to hold it in. To think I would see the mark of the back alley informant who rescued Roena, who was locked in the attic, and sent her to the Imperial Palace here.
Lavalliere provided the money, and Seril directly contacted and made the request, and now they have become my child's helpers? Really, something so funny was happening that I couldn't help but grab my stomach and laugh out loud.
