128 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards 128
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After hesitating for a moment, I carefully reached out and grabbed the Floral Crown. As if waiting for it, a sigh escaped my lips. My back was already soaked with cold sweat.
I had been so preoccupied with the Crown Prince for the past two days that I had momentarily forgotten, but in fact, the first thing I should have dealt with was this ‘Floral Crown.’ Not to mention that I had been unconsciously ignoring it and pretending not to think about it. Should I be glad that I finally remembered it now?
The fortunate thing is that Sir Lustewin Halberd is still quiet. I don't know about his drinking habits, but judging from his silence so far, he doesn't even remember what he did that night.
Given Sir Halberd's upright character, he wouldn't just let the rudeness he committed against me pass.
So, all I have to do is dispose of this Floral Crown properly. Then it will be a complete secret.
Should I bury it, or burn it in the fireplace? Burning it to ashes so that no trace remains would be better, right?
But when I actually try to get rid of the Floral Crown, my feet won't move. Why is that?
I stared blankly at the Floral Crown. I don't know why this thing, which will soon wither and become unsightly, feels so heavy and painful.
Suddenly, my eyes start to sting. Something as hot as fire surges up through my throat. A terrible hesitation was holding me back.
"If I put it in Capsa, no one will find it. So, wouldn't it be okay to keep it for a little longer?"
I muttered to myself as if making excuses. A lingering attachment, hidden somewhere, was filling my heart.
That's why I wanted to keep it just a little longer, just a little bit more. It's the winning Floral Crown that even Roena didn't receive. So, wouldn't it be okay to be this greedy?
Of course, I'll end up throwing it away someday for fear of being caught. But not now. Strangely, I felt this with certainty.
I quietly put the Floral Crown down. I closed the lid again with force, then sighed heavily, afraid the floor would collapse.
Perhaps because my mind was disturbed by the Floral Crown, I suddenly wanted to feel the cold air.
Rather than trembling with fear on the terrace, going out to the backyard garden and walking around would be better for releasing the heavy emotions that felt like indigestion. So, I opened the closet, took out a thick coat, and left the room without a second thought.
The backyard, where the cold air had settled, was thickly covered with dim evening light. Before long, darkness would fall and the moon would rise.
I repeatedly closed and opened my eyes, listening to the crunching sound of my footsteps. The sensation at my fingertips cooled down, and a hazy breath was rising from my lips.
The desolate winter scenery flowed into my eyes, filled with faint darkness, and disappeared like an afterimage. After blinking dozens of times as if looking at something unfamiliar, I finally discovered a black shadow that I didn't know when had appeared.
No, it didn't just appear. I just hadn't noticed it. If we were to consider who was there first, it was the owner of the shadow. He had been standing there like a stone statue, perhaps since before I came out, but his gaze was directed towards the terrace of my room.
"I always thought that if I waited, I would be able to see you again someday, since you are always in this backyard. My prediction was correct."
After a moment, his, Lustewin Halberd's, mouth opened.
Even though he didn't turn his head, he seemed to believe without a doubt that the presence of another person in the backyard was mine.
Was that why? I froze as if under a spell and fully accepted his gaze, slowly turning my head to meet his eyes. Something unexplainable was deeply stirring in Sir Halberd's blue eyes.
I instinctively thought that he clearly remembered the night he was drunk. It was strange, but somehow, I had this feeling.
"That day..."
Sir Halberd opened his mouth and spoke. His hesitant attitude, as if he was having a hard time opening his mouth, was turning my suspicion into 'certainty.'
"Will you forgive the rudeness I committed?"
The tips of his ears, whether due to the cold or something else, were very red after he finished speaking.
"Yes? Then what could have disappeared right away..."
I couldn't finish my sentence and swallowed hard. A very embarrassing and sweet assumption was flashing through my mind.
"No, right? Please tell me it's not."
Oh my god. Does that mean he heard and felt everything I hugged and muttered to myself?
No way, right?
"Excuse me, but I don't understand what you are telling me no to, young lady."
Sir Halberd asked in a composed tone.
"That's because I only remember running into you when I was drunk. Did I perhaps commit any rudeness to you?"
The tips of his ears were still red, but the voice that came out was no different from usual.
It was only natural that my mouth closed at that attitude. The hidden tip of my tongue was wriggling as if it would spit out what happened that night at any moment, but the lessons I had learned so far barely suppressed it. Since there was no reason for a knight like him to lie, I thought it would be better to just let it pass.
It was fortunate that the surroundings were gradually darkening and hiding my complexion. Otherwise, I would have had no choice but to lower my head as if running away from his gaze that was watching me.
It was clear that I couldn't feel warmth because of the season, but the face of the Knight of Clear Hearing was filled with the purity and softness of the spring sun.
I shouldn't express it this way, but I could see a sweetness as if he were gazing at something lovely. I had no idea why he was looking at me with such eyes.
"No, it's nothing. I misspoke."
I carefully made excuses and subtly turned the tips of my feet, which were secretly hidden beneath my thick skirt.
I thought it would be better to just go back to my room, regardless of indigestion or anything else.
"I see. But how long have you been out here to be thinking of going back to your room already?"
Sir Halberd asked. His gaze was already directed towards the hem of my skirt. My body flinched, preemptively pricked by the thought that I was trying to run away at the same time as greeting him.
Did he think that I would do the same thing this time, since I had shown him that I was running away every time?
As I was about to move my lips without being able to answer anything, he strode forward. And he reached out and grabbed my arm.
The distance was quickly narrowed before I could even take a few steps. Now, he was naturally making contact without even mentioning rudeness.
"And it's always me who's grabbing you."
"Let go, Sir Halberd."
"I will if you promise to stay still."
Who in the world could call the Knight of Clear Hearing a stubborn and selfish man? Even I, who used to fervently chase after him in the past, find this man awkward now.
But that's exactly what it was like now. Where had the knight's manners and the gentleman's consideration all disappeared to? Sir Halberd's touch was simply focused on holding me back.
As if he couldn't hear my voice, which was tearful as I spoke in a feeble voice. He was just doing what he wanted to do.
"You always make me a ruffian."
I was dumbfounded by the following words and spoke back in a small voice.
"If you don't like it, you can just ignore it."
"I can't, so it's even more frustrating."
Sir Halberd seemed to have noticed that I was intentionally avoiding the story of the Floral Crown. And also that I was struggling to run away from this situation.
So, he put more strength into the hand that was holding my arm and pulled me towards him. It was an intentional act, truly close to coercion.
But I couldn't feel any violent signs anywhere. Rather, it only seemed that the person giving the strength was having a harder time. It was self-reproach.
Just as I, who was flustered, was about to open my mouth again, he cut me off and spoke first.
"Would it be greedy to say that I don't want to see your back anymore? Surely you won't say that it's because I'm Roena's knight again this time, will you?"
He was convinced that I would push him away for this reason. His deeply distorted brow revealed his frustrated feelings as they were.
But I was just as frustrated. Our conversation, which was running parallel, was always making me tired.
Hadn't I already repeated the case of expecting inexplicable goodwill, getting hurt, and turning away far too many times? Therefore, even if I were a born fool, I would choose to avoid and run away in order not to hurt anymore.
But now, he's grabbing my arm and ordering me to hurt and get injured like before. As if scolding me that the current method is wrong.
Cruelly, he's making me expect and get excited again with a completely different appearance from the future I know.
Even though I know what you're going to do to me and I'm rejecting you in advance, you're telling me I'm being too much.
The man who was prouder of being Roena's knight than any other knight belonging to the Bishvarts Family is making a painful expression and denying it, even though I gave him the words he would be happy to hear. Why?
"Then what should I say? Stop it, Sir Halberd."
Two major events that I already remembered had changed. The cards that I could have planned and prepared for had disappeared. For me, who has no foundation, these changes are very unstable.
Nevertheless, the reason why I am not greatly frustrated is that both of the changed events had the risk of being 'irregularities.' Therefore, I could endure by comforting myself that it was not a departure from the overall framework.
On the other hand, the fact that my relationship with Sir Halberd is different from what I knew is a very serious matter that cannot be easily accepted. I can't even dare to predict the future that will be twisted by it. Especially if the irregularity it holds is a 'gentle haven.'
Therefore, I had to shake him off and move away from that spot right away.
But for some reason, my free hand and both feet were not moving as if they were all frozen. Why?
"No, I have to keep going. There was something I wanted to ask you. Why do you always judge and push me away in advance? Why am I included in that action that I can dare to call 'resignation'?"
He seemed to have read my hesitation and spoke in a soft voice as if whispering.
"I told you, I am also your knight."
But as I said before, my original greedy nature, this ogre-like heart, could not be satisfied with him being only half of what I wanted.
Someday, I will cling to him and act violently like before. Then his gaze, which despises me, will be repeated.
...Can I endure it?
It's terrifying just to imagine.
So, let's just shake off his hand and run away. There's no fool who would willingly endure continued rejection.
Just in time, the hand of the man holding my arm was very loose, so it was definitely possible if I made up my mind.
But I couldn't do it. No, I didn't. Strangely, when I decided to go back to my room, the Floral Crown hidden in Capsa came to mind. And also his voice that had penetrated my ears that night.
'Please stop pushing me away now. Please stop saying that I am Roena's knight. Everyone knows it even if they don't say it. But if even you do that, then I, then I...!!'
Sir Halberd's voice continued, as if trying to awaken me from my thoughts.
"I'm sorry to say this, but you seem to have a tendency to imagine and judge something in advance and then give up easily. Even though the situation has not yet come. If it's because you believe in the Goddess of Fate, then I sincerely want to ask you to reduce that devout faith just a little. Because the resignation you showed a little while ago makes you sad."
After finishing speaking, Sir Halberd took my hand and kissed the back of it with a skillful attitude. He even took the attitude of raising his index finger and asking me to be quiet for a moment, as I was unable to speak due to embarrassment and confusion. It was as if he was telling me not to think about anything else and just focus on this situation.
"So, how about you stop and look at me standing here now?"
