105 - Pieces of the Broken Glass Slipper
Shattered Glass Slipper Shards 105
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Roena and I didn't exchange a single word while the carriage was moving. She was silently gazing out the window with her usual gentle and docile face, and I was too preoccupied with the 'friendship' the Empress had mentioned to pay attention to anything else.
It was Roena who broke the silence first.
"You don't have to worry. We got through the difficulty well."
"What do you mean?"
"Weren't you worried about the rumors?"
"Isn't it not much to worry about?"
At my words, she blinked her eyes wide as if she couldn't believe it. Her eyelashes, hanging large like swollen grapes around her eyes, fluttered elegantly, emphasizing her large, round pupils.
Roena calmly composed her voice, which had risen with excitement, and spoke as if giving advice.
"Not much! It was the biggest issue directly related to your honor. What if people misunderstand you? Sissae, it's a very big deal. So, we should savor the joy that it was resolved amicably."
"What resolution?"
"That the amicable verification of intellectual conduct eventually led to the admission of one's own ignorance, and that leniency was shown in generously overlooking it. I'm talking about these two things."
"So, you also think I'm an idiot who can't even read a poem properly?"
"Oh my."
She muttered, pressing the palm of her hand against her chest. 'An idiot!' Roena couldn't even roll this word on her tongue.
And how many times has she ever heard such a word? It would be stranger if she wasn't surprised by the vulgar word that disgraced herself.
"Sissae, a lady shouldn't use such words. It's too wicked."
I was furious at Roena's attempt to lecture me, but I held it back. It was even more so because she seemed to be shifting all the blame onto me, as if she had completely forgotten about the chair incident.
Ha, that innocent yet subtly triumphant attitude. She is still too lenient with herself. So, it was inevitable that I felt nauseous.
However, I couldn't have a heated argument about this because she lives so trapped in her own thoughts that she can't be saved.
What point of contact is there on a one-way parallel line? Unless someone bends, it would be difficult for each other's thoughts to merge, but unfortunately, that would be more difficult than death for the young lady whom everyone praised.
That doesn't mean I have to bend either. So, let her continue to go that way.
So, I changed the subject of the conversation. I refused any more mental exhaustion.
"Okay, let's move on from that part. I'll get better in the future. Anyway, continue the story. What does leniency mean?"
Roena, as if she liked the newly changed topic, started talking with a blush on her face.
She was trying hard to hide her excitement in her own way, but her voice, which had risen a tone, and her eyes, which were moving busily, were telling her mood well.
According to her, she recited poetry very well after I left, and she was told that she would receive a gift as a compliment for this.
So, Roena proudly said that she had earnestly requested the Empress to help prevent unnecessary rumors about me, saying that she didn't need a gift.
Her expression was filled with pride, as if she was proud of her own righteousness.
"So, you don't have to worry now."
As she is also a young lady from a noble family, she seemed to be well aware of how scary it is for rumors to spread in society. No, it would be stranger if she didn't know, since she was attending the Nympheuses meeting with Madame de Lavalier.
"What about your rumors?"
"My rumors? About what?"
I chuckled at her attitude of innocently tilting her head, leaving out the chair incident. Did Roena truly think that even that was my fault? As the Empress intended.
"About sitting in the wrong chair. Don't you remember?"
"I don't care much. It's not that upsetting because it was a mistake I made while trying to help Sissae."
"What does that mean, Roena?"
"I just thought that since I greeted first, I should sit further inside the chair. It was a wrong judgment due to tension. But it doesn't change the fact that it was an action for you who weren't prepared."
I suddenly realized. It felt like I had been hit by her cunning intentions. Of course, she wouldn't have openly aimed for it due to her innocent personality, but the wonderfully guided situation was working against me even more.
Unless I wanted to expose my own ignorance, I wouldn't be able to spread Roena's fault.
Above all, since the Empress's people would not target her instead of me, this incident would eventually remain in silence forever. So, she was able to look at me with such a calm face.
"...What if other people spread it?"
"As long as my aunt is there, they won't."
My mouth was drying up at her attitude of speaking so firmly as if she couldn't be more sure. So, I asked again.
"Then why me? Why did you ask them not to spread rumors about me? She's my aunt too."
Then Roena looks at me with a troubled expression. Her face was deeply marked with some kind of disconnection that could not be expressed in words.
"Sissae..."
Her voice calling me pitifully was also like that.
A moment of silence flows. Dry saliva was filling my mouth. I swallowed a sigh that seemed to rise up and opened my mouth again.
"...You're thinking that way too?"
"It's not like that, but still!"
"Yes, it's right to follow Aunt, after all."
The truth is, I didn't even have any expectations from the beginning. I thought that the relationship had already been severed when Lavalliere left the Count's family. Compared to the past, it could be said that it was a miracle that she had given me this much attention.
However, I couldn't help but feel bitter about the discrimination that had spread so widely in society.
"That's right, it's inevitable that you have to follow Aunt's words. I understand. The problem is that the people at the recitation meeting found out. I'm only finding out now. Do you know that's more fatal?"
"Sissae, it's not like that. There are parts that are difficult for each person to accept. This must be such a thing for Aunt."
"Of course. As Pulcher mentioned, I'm deeply moved by your friendship."
I reached out and grabbed Roena's hand. It was the first time I had reached out to her since entering the Count's family, so Roena seemed a little relieved.
So, I continued to speak.
"So, you don't have to make excuses for other people to me. I'm asking you not to force your gaze on me. I'm watching too."
In an instant, the smile disappeared from her face. Roena slowly opened her mouth and asked me back.
"Watching? What do you mean?"
"It means thank you. I'm happy with your commendable efforts. I'm really grateful for protecting my honor."
Roena tries to twist her hand to pull it out. It was the first time today that she was avoiding contact with me.
But I put strength into the hand I was holding and made sure she couldn't escape. And I smiled brightly in Roena's style and whispered.
"As you did at the hunting ground, you protected the name of the Bishvarts Family, not me. There was no action for me anywhere. So, be proud. You little hypocrite. Ah, how commendable this is!"
At the same time, the carriage stopped.
Many people were waiting at the front gate. I took the strength out of Roena's hand and straightened my clothes. She was frozen as if she had frozen.
"Snap out of it. It's time to get off now."
The carriage door opens. I got out of the carriage with the escort of the coachman.
As soon as my mother saw my face, she forgot her dignity and ran over. And she pulled me into her arms and kissed me on the cheek.
It was too lively for a Countess to do, but at this moment, no one frowned at her actions.
"Did you have a good trip? How was it? Did you have fun?"
"There were some mistakes. But I received a lot of help from Roena."
"Is that so? I'm so glad. But why is Roena's face so pale?"
I said to my mother in a natural tone.
"It's in front of Pulcher. She can't help but be nervous. She's such a delicate child. She'll be fine if she rests for a while."
"Oh, yes. That's right. Then she should rest."
My mother seemed very curious about what had happened at the Imperial Palace. But Roena's face didn't look good, and I also looked tired, so she must have thought she couldn't hold us any longer.
So, Roena and I greeted my mother and were able to go to our respective rooms.
"A letter came when you went to the Imperial Palace, miss."
Marie handed me the letter that was on the dressing table before I could even take off my dress. I knew from the seal on the outside that it was sent by Chatoul.
I tore the outside with a paper knife and looked at the contents, and it was quite a sight. Most of the contents were filled with insults about me being invited to the Imperial Palace by the Empress.
She called me a cowardly turncoat. She criticized me for being a coward who couldn't boldly refuse the Empress's invitation.
She said that if it were her, she wouldn't have gone to Pulcher and assured me that she would be insulted by him. The scribbled letters clearly showed how much anger she had.
Everyone is whispering that I will be kicked out of the Imperial Palace. They are rejoicing that I will spend my miserable old age in the castle named after me.
That's why some people are advising me to sell the furniture in the palace and exchange it for jewels or gold coins.
But do you think I'll back down like this? All men are weak to physical temptation. I am a very good expert in this matter.
Just watch. His Majesty will come back to me. That green young thing can't follow me.
I couldn't even guess where her confidence came from. Surely, just a few days ago, she had yelled at the Baroness of Flanders.
But from the latter part of the letter, there was an inexplicable sense of ease.
Is it that easy to win a man's heart? If that were the case, the Empress would have been happy a long time ago.
Moreover, he is an Emperor who is fond of women even in his old age. It was natural to be attracted to fresh flesh.
Anyway, it would be a good thing if she could regain the Emperor's favor as she assured in the letter. I sincerely hoped she could.
That doesn't mean I'll join Chatoul again. Even if Madame de Châteauroux's restoration is achieved, I couldn't be completely relieved because it was a precarious power that could be cut off again at any time.
In fact, when I first came back, I believed in the memories of the past, so I thought she was a very solid land and bedrock.
But through this incident, I realized that the future changes fluidly without me even noticing, and it is like a fog that I cannot see even an inch ahead.
Therefore, what I can hope for from Chatoul is her playfully cruel habit. The bad essence of teasing, torturing, and tormenting people for fun.
If that stirs up society like before, I was confident that I could watch it happily like a spectator.
"Aren't you going to write back, miss?"
"Marie, what letter are you talking about? Prepare the bathwater first. Seril, I want to get a massage in the bathroom. Blan, clean up the bedroom in advance. Do you understand?"
I neatly folded the torn letter and put it in the drawer of the dressing table. And I took off my clothes as if I had never received a letter.
