Chapter 78
The realization hit Adi with unexpected force. The concept had never crossed her mind before. From the moment she stepped into the role of Adrian, the idea of reclaiming the name Adrina had been buried. Yet, with the public death of the brother she was portraying, the necessity of maintaining a male facade had vanished.
“The path for a female knight is nonexistent,” Yuls noted. “Choosing that life means facing isolation. Conversely, your reputation as a Palace guard is already established. Your prowess is undeniable, and while total acceptance isn’t guaranteed, you would be welcomed here as a man.”
Her talent was beyond reproach. She possessed an instinctive, almost supernatural awareness that surpassed mere training. During the chaos at the Palace, she had been the first to detect the killer. Even in the dense Oak Forest, she had sensed the elite Night Watchmen long before Bert realized they were being tracked.
The Duke’s shadow operatives had surely taken note of her. If she continued under the name Adrian, they would undoubtedly recruit her. The Woodpecker family’s secret forces were always hungry for such exceptional potential, and they moved in the dark where her skills would shine.
“Life is undeniably simpler when the world views you as a man,” Yuls added.
Adi considered the alternative. What would happen if she stepped forward as she truly was?
“Is that your desire?” he asked.
The consequences were clear: she might be cast out not only from the special forces but from the standard Knights Order as well.
“If your choice is to remain Adrian, I will ensure it happens,” Yuls promised.
He reached out, his fingers brushing against her hair. The vibrant gold of her locks seemed to captivate him. He mused that if she lived as a woman, she might let it grow. To him, the length was irrelevant, though he reflected that longer tresses might make it more natural to press a kiss against them.
“If you decide to reclaim your true identity, I will support that as well,” he continued, his hand slowly retreating. “But understand that it will be a grueling road. Carving out a space as a woman in a profession defined by men is no small feat.”
Adi’s eyes lingered on his departing hand. She noticed for the first time how weathered his skin had become, the pathways of his veins standing out in stark relief.
“The choice rests with you, Adi.”
The question hung in the air: man or woman?
As she looked into his intense, crimson eyes, she saw the hunger reflected there. She understood perfectly what the Duke was hoping she would choose.
Roy had managed to integrate himself into the local crowd in less than a day. His natural charm was on full display as he sat among the trainees, laughing and trading stories.
From the shadows of the stone corridor, Adi observed the scene. She felt a twinge of envy for his effortless sociability. Her own nature was too analytical, too prone to heavy reflection to ever be so lighthearted.
She felt the pressure of the decision. The Duke hadn’t granted her much time to breathe. It reminded her of how quickly he had pushed her to join the Woodpecker house—a move she had initially questioned, though it now seemed like the right path.
Now, she faced a second crossroads.
Which identity offered the better future?
The practical advantages of remaining male were obvious. As she stood lost in thought, a tall shadow stretched across the floor next to her. Bert had arrived.
“Adi,” he said.
“Bert.”
“Have you reached a conclusion?”
She knew he wasn’t talking about training. “Not quite yet.”
“…I truly had no suspicion that you were a girl,” he admitted.
She had maintained the deception for years; it wasn’t surprising that a man who had known her for only a few months had been fooled. Adi started to offer a justification, but she stopped herself and simply inclined her head. Bert watched her, sensing her internal shift.
“I’m told you’re granting me your family name,” she said softly. “I wanted to express my gratitude.”
“It’s a small gesture,” Bert replied.
“A surname is never a small thing,” she insisted.
To a nobleman, it was everything. Bert might have brushed it off, but to Adi, the weight of the gift was immense. He looked at her with newfound perspective, realizing she was perhaps more sensitive than he had initially believed.
“What could Count Grimaldi have been thinking?” he wondered aloud, his confusion turning to a hint of anger. “To force such a burden on you…”
“I can’t speak to the Count’s motives,” she replied.
“How are you holding up?”
“In what sense?”
Adi looked at him with genuine confusion. Bert reached out, resting a hand on her head in a fatherly gesture.
“You don’t have to carry everything alone,” he told her. “It’s alright to ask for help when things get heavy.”
“I don’t feel particularly burdened,” she countered.
She honestly didn’t see the situation as a tragedy. To her, it was a logical puzzle.
“I am simply weighing the options,” she explained. “Which path serves me better?”
In that moment, Bert felt his loyalty to the Woodpecker line flare up. He knew that if she chose to remain a man, it would complicate things for Yuls in ways that were hard to resolve.
“The easier path is obvious,” Adi mused. “But if I choose it, I am committed to a lie for the rest of my days. Can a secret like that really stay buried forever?”
She knew the Duke wanted her—not the soldier, but the person.
“But if I tell the truth…”
Her eyes wandered toward the training field, settling on Roy Gallardo.
“…”
Bert felt a brief surge of alarm. He wondered if there was a romantic connection he had missed.
“I’d be admitting that every interaction we had was built on a falsehood,” Adi said. “It feels wrong. Perhaps if I hadn’t made friends here, the choice would be simpler. When I was alone, the truth didn’t seem to matter.”
“What was the Duke’s take on this?” Bert asked.
“He left it to me. He warned that being a man is the path of least resistance, while being a woman would be a struggle.”
Bert suppressed the urge to groan. He couldn’t believe the Duke had been so blunt. While factually correct, a more strategic man would have nudged her toward the truth.
“What do you actually want?”
Adi was silent for a long moment, her expression unreadable.
“I don’t mind a challenge,” she eventually said. “And I’m not convinced it will be as impossible as everyone thinks.”
“I would prefer you to be yourself,” Bert said firmly. “There are no female knights in Dalcatir, or anywhere else for that matter. But your talent is a fact. Your gender doesn’t change what you can do on a battlefield.”
He paused, his expression softening.
“It will be grueling,” he admitted. “People will judge you. They will try to ignore your rank.”
“I will stand by you,” he added when she looked up at him. “I’ve already given you my name. Supporting you is the least I can do as your kin.”
His warm smile made her feel a rare sense of uncertainty. She didn’t understand why he was being so kind or what he gained from this alliance.
“And besides…” Bert trailed off.
He knew that her returning to womanhood was the best outcome for the Woodpecker household and the Duke’s personal happiness, but he kept those thoughts to himself. Adi watched him for a beat before nodding.
“I’ve decided,” she said. “I’ll live as a woman.”
She stepped out from the shade of the corridor. “But first, I need to clear the air,” she said, beginning to walk away with purpose. Bert blinked, startled by her sudden movement, and hurried to keep up.
Adi walked straight toward Roy. He saw her coming, waved a quick goodbye to his companion, and met her halfway.
“You’re fitting in well,” she noted.
“I found an old buddy from the South,” Roy said, grinning. “He’s part of the family here. I was actually asking him how one gets into the Night Watchmen.”
He laughed, looking Adi over.
“You should try out too. You’ve got the skills. Plus, you’re the right size—they don’t like giants in the scout units. You’ve got a good height and a decent face…”
He stopped, wondering if he’d insulted her. Being too striking could be a liability for a spy. Just as he was about to backtrack, Adi cut him off.
“Roy, there’s something you need to know.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“I am a woman.”
“…What?”
“I’m a woman,” she repeated.
Roy looked as though he had been struck by lightning. “Uh… what?”
“The name Adrian Grimaldi is gone,” she explained calmly. “I have to start over. I realized I couldn’t keep up the act of being a man forever, so I’m going back to who I really am.”
Bert arrived just in time to see the bombshell drop. He was stunned. He hadn’t expected her to just throw the truth out there without any preparation or tact.
“Sir Bert is letting me use his surname,” she continued.
Roy stood there, his mouth hanging open. He looked like he had forgotten how to breathe, let alone speak. His brain seemed to have stalled entirely.
“My name is Adrina Dean now.”
Roy turned his head toward Bert with the stiff, jerky motion of a rusted machine. His eyes were wide with a silent, desperate plea for someone to tell him this was a practical joke.
Bert realized then that the ‘Palace Dog’ was far from a submissive creature. Once she made a choice, she moved with devastating speed.
Resigned, Bert simply covered his eyes with his hand.
