26 - Valentina's Paradise
“I apologize. I’ve shown you an embarrassing sight in front of a noble lady.”
Thankfully, Edeled regained his senses before long. However, he seemed to have difficulty supporting himself, leaning on her for quite some time. Valentina shouted loudly.
“Who on earth did this! Where were you hurt!”
“It’s nothing. I accidentally cut my stomach and side while sitting down, but the bleeding has stopped.”
After examining the wound, Valentina realized that Edeled’s words were half true and half lies. The wound was shallow but quite long. It was neither a light wound nor an accident. It was clear that he had inflicted it himself.
Fortunately, he had managed to stop the bleeding, so no more blood was flowing. Only then did she feel a dizzy spell.
“What on earth were you thinking, doing something like this! You could have died alone in a place where no one would have found you!”
Then, he chuckled and spat out,
“A relief? Isn’t that what you were waiting for?”
Valentina felt as if she had been struck by lightning. Edeled narrowed his eyes and stared at Valentina as if glaring at her. His suspicious voice seemed to ring clearly in her ears.
‘Do you really think it’s a relief? Are you being sincere?’
Valentina felt a surge of intense anger at that moment. It felt as if a hot flame was shooting up from her heart to her throat.
“Everyone, step back.”
“Your Highness, no! It’s dangerous!”
“That’s an order, Lord Ricardo! Step back! Everyone… get back, now!!!”
She didn’t know why she was so extremely angry at the sight of him sitting there covered in blood and unable to even sit up straight. But the moment she became aware of the melting pain in her chest and throat, Valentina realized that the emotion might not be anger.
And that this pain was not originally hers, but his.
The pain transferred from another person was so unfamiliar, and therefore disconcerting. Valentina didn’t want to show this side of herself to anyone. Not even to Pepe, who was more intimate than her nanny.
“Edeled, Gongzi? Slowly, lean on my arm and try to sit up.”
After the escort knights had retreated far enough to the entrance of the garden, Valentina carefully sat him up and rested his head on her shoulder. He shook his head and said in a low voice.
“Don’t do this. You’ll get your clothes dirty.”
But his body, his eyes, and his voice were saying something completely different. She could feel his trembling from the shoulder that was touching hers. Everything that made him up was fervently longing for Valentina. That made her even angrier.
“You begged to see this beautiful flower garden, and then you tried to end your life here?”
“……”
“You saw the person you wanted to see, and you saw the flower garden you wanted to see, so you had no regrets? Is that why you took a knife to yourself like this? So recklessly, like this?”
He raised his head and looked up at Valentina without a word. Valentina met his gaze head-on. And she kept repeating to herself inwardly. This hot pain that was welling up from her chest had to be anger. No other emotion, if it was this intense and painful, could be allowed.
“Why wouldn’t I be afraid.”
Edeled’s low, quiet voice flowed out.
“If it was an unavoidable fate, I wanted to accept it without being unsightly. If I couldn’t be dignified, I wanted to at least be composed, if I couldn’t be majestic, I wanted to at least not be hideous, and I wanted to choose the time and place of my death.”
“And?”
“I didn’t know that was only possible for the courageous. I couldn’t bring myself to stab deep enough to end my life.”
“Were you afraid?”
“Do you find me pathetic?”
A long silence ensued. After a while, Edeled’s eyes widened.
“…Valentina…”
Slowly, his brow furrowed. He carefully raised his hand and stroked Valentina’s cheek. Traces of dirt, tears, and blood stained her face. Edeled’s palm became increasingly damp.
“Why… are you crying.”
Valentina couldn’t answer. Even as she shed tears, she couldn’t understand her own tears. So she stopped his hand and asked him in return.
“Edeled, do you perhaps… want to cry right now?”
She herself thought it was a strange question, but she wanted to ask. His eyes widened even more. His black eyes, full of moisture and holding the light of the setting sun, were mysterious and beautiful.
“I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
Instead of answering, he apologized. Every time Valentina blinked, tears overflowed. Seeing this, Edeled hurriedly added.
“I was really wrong. I won’t do anything like this again, so… please don’t cry because of me.”
“…Why did you do something like this. Did dying seem so easy and comfortable!”
“No, actually, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live to the very end, even if it meant being pathetic.”
“Then why on earth!”
He hesitated for a long time. His lips twitched several times, and finally, he lowered his head.
“I desperately wanted your pity or compassion… I’m sorry.”
“You did this to receive my insignificant pity? Are you out of your mind? What if you had really died!”
Anger exploded again, and tears burst out along with it. It was truly embarrassing. He paused, then reached out again to wipe her cheek.
“Dominella. If I can’t even receive your insignificant pity and compassion, I’ll die anyway. When my uncle arrives, I’ll be assassinated by some means, sooner or later. I just thought it would be today.”
“Then you should have run away alone, why did you come into this garden? Why on earth!”
He smiled faintly and shook his head.
“How long could I run away alone, with no one to rely on? Rather than being chased and starving to death on the streets like a beggar, it’s better to depart gracefully from paradise.”
“How did this place become your paradise!”
At Valentina’s roar, he only gave a bitter smile.
“I don’t know how it happened. Somehow, it just became that way.”
The setting sun cast its light on the flower garden, and the shadows of the two people grew longer. His voice was soft, low, and flickering like the light of a firefly. Valentina wanted to tell him not to speak so weakly, but she listened in silence. Once Edgar arrived, the chance to hear his story would be gone forever.
“I still wanted to believe your words that you would endure good and bad things together, at least once… Of course, I know it’s a pathetic thought. You can despise me as much as you want.”
Valentina barely remembered that those were the words she had written on the portrait. Edeled added with a sigh.
“Just as you gambled with your life four years ago, I had no choice but to gamble with my life now. Of course, I know it’s very difficult for me to survive here.”
“……”
“But I don’t regret coming here or meeting you at all. To actually see the garden in the portrait and you sitting there before my eyes, I have no regrets now.”
The trembling in his body stopped. But now Valentina’s body began to tremble slightly.
His visit to Florida was a single gamble with his life. He wanted to see with his own eyes the existence that had become the reason for his life, and he seemed to want to find a path to salvation here. It was the only realm of fantasy that Edeled, who was thoroughly realistic and rational, possessed.
Valentina regretted it bitterly. She shouldn’t have given such a man an answer like, ‘Perhaps I could have married you.’ She shouldn’t have lost her reason at that one answer, and she shouldn’t have insulted and rejected him in that way when he begged her to choose him.
She heard his quiet laughter.
“But, having fulfilled my wish like this, I should have no regrets even if I die…”
Valentina thought his face was too close to her ear. She wanted to see his face. She could feel his Adam’s apple rising and falling greatly, through his neck and shoulder.
“But, it’s so beautiful, you know.”
“……”
“These flowers are too beautiful to die like this, the sunlight is so dazzling, the scent of the flowers is so sweet, and the air I breathe is so fresh…”
“……”
“It’s too beautiful to die like this… you’re too beautiful…”
Only one tear flowed from his eye. It fell like a small seed onto Valentina’s shoulder and quickly seeped into her heart.
“It’s too lovely to die like this, Valentina.”
Valentina realized that she had finally come face to face with the ‘duty she had to bear.’ She embraced his increasingly limp body tightly, as if to support him.
“Do you want to live, Edeled?”
It was a word that came out impulsively. But she had a feeling that it would have come out sooner or later.
Instead of answering, he crumbled like a sandcastle in her arms. Valentina asked again.
Valentina, do you want to save him?
Several voices burst out at once.
- If you do, it could fatally damage your trust with Edgar.
- He might feel a great sense of betrayal towards you, beyond disappointment.
But Valentina finally dragged up the answer that was pooling at the bottom of her heart.
- If I allow this innocent death, I will have to live in shame and regret for the rest of my life.
Valentina swore to the man who had lost consciousness and was buried in the Mandrako flower garden.
“…I will save you, Edeled.”
