Chapter 31
Reject If It Hurts
Yuan held the pain, which never seemed to diminish no matter how much she took, tightly in her heart.
'After my sister died, and now that I've lost my place, wasn't I trying to replace everything?'
'A husband instead of my sister. This Black Manor instead of the Pellieresse Mansion. You must want to settle down.'
Burying her face in his faded blond hair, Yuan sobbed quietly.
Please forgive me for staying by your side because I needed you, yet ultimately not taking even half of your pain.
Forgive me for wanting to hide and live in the peace of this place, yet also thinking that half of your suffering was a deserved price for possibly killing my sister.
"I'm sorry."
"If you're sorry, get out, right now, ugh..."
"I'm sorry, Your Highness."
Yuan slowly, bit by bit, consumed the unceasing pain until she could draw out the next arrow.
If she hadn't insisted on staying here.
If she hadn't lied about performing the Consummation Proof to remain, the Emperor wouldn't have come and tormented Klaud.
Therefore, the pain the Emperor inflicted on him was Yuan's, not Klaud's.
She was the one who should be hurting right now.
For the first time in her life, Yuan sincerely thanked the god who had given her the ability to suffer in someone else's place.
"I'm the one in pain. Why... are you crying?"
"...Because we're family."
Yuan resolved to finally let go of Louise and do her best for the new family she had brought her to.
She decided to try to get along with him sincerely, not just to talk about Louise.
Thankfully.
Klaud didn't say anything sad like, what makes you my family?
He simply turned his head away from Yuan, who was burying her face in his hair and stifling groans.
The Black Manor, after the Emperor's departure, was even busier.
The servants cleaned the rooms where the guest had stayed and removed the decorations from the Annex hall, which had been lavishly decorated by people from the Imperial Palace.
The cart carrying the first order of food supplies and work uniforms from the new mistress rumbled into the Mansion.
The stone path, cleared of snow early in the morning, gleamed as if it had just been wiped clean.
Yuan watched the chef preparing the venison that Emperor Igor had brought, then went upstairs to the second floor with a pot of soup she had made on the side.
"Explain to me why I'm not in as much pain."
As soon as she entered the bedroom, Klaud's hoarse voice flew at Yuan.
Sunlight poured through the curtains she had opened at dawn. Klaud, shielding his eyes from the light, looked up at Yuan approaching with a scowl.
"Tell me everything, one by one."
Klaud, who looked like he was about to jump up any minute, groaned as he clutched the bandages tightly wrapped around his side.
"The wound is still there. It'll be hard if you move around thinking you're not in as much pain as you think."
Yuan helped him sit up against the head of the bed and placed a tray with a bowl of warm soup on his lap.
Klaud, scrutinizing Yuan's face through the rising white steam, lowered his gaze to the spoon he hadn't even picked up. The blond hair falling over his smooth forehead sparkled finely.
"...You could have refused."
A self-deprecating voice flowed from his pale, parched lips.
Yuan understood what Klaud meant by refusing.
The Prescription of Pélierse she had mentioned.
The medicine and 'Intimate Warmth' she provided.
In other words, translated into the words he imagined, 'a passionate night.'
Now, all of a sudden, was he bothered by that?
Yuan chuckled, seeing Klaud suddenly caring about something strange.
"How could I refuse when Your Highness was in so much pain?"
Klaud flinched greatly.
His expression darkened further.
His gaze rose again, following the warm steam, and stopped on Yuan's face.
A gaunt face. Drooping eyelashes. Slightly swollen eyelids and reddened eyes, her gaze scattered here and there.
"Don't take it all. Reject if it hurts."
"?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Klaud turned his head sharply away. Yuan stared at his sculpted profile for a long time before whispering.
"This is nothing."
"..."
Yuan, who habitually said she was fine, stared at Klaud's complicated profile for a long time before lowering her gaze.
Clearly, she had taken all of the man's pain, but she felt like she was committing a sin.
'There's nothing for you to worry about.'
Yuan had used her ability of her own volition.
As atonement for interfering in his life, which would have been peaceful if not for her.
"I'm doing it because I want to, so don't worry too much about it. I feel better that way too."
"You want to?"
Klaud's face, as he looked at her again, was very red.
Not just from embarrassment, but a face mixed with shame and confusion.
He stared intently at Yuan, who was saying she was fine so nonchalantly, and finally brought up the words he had been holding in his heart.
"You. You know I don't remember, right?"
Yuan, who understood immediately, nodded, and his neck flushed red. But now was not the time to assert his pride with the fact that he was the only one who didn't know about the passionate night that everyone else knew about. After all, the person involved knew.
Klaud, as if determined, put strength in his chin and asked.
"...Can't I not lose my memory?"
This time, Yuan's face turned red.
If he didn't lose his memory, he would know that there was nothing between them but pain, not the night he imagined.
Yuan agreed with Lancelot that Klaud wasn't such a bad person, but revealing her ability was a separate issue.
"That's beyond my ability. But..."
Again, she had no choice but to lie.
With a bit of sincerity.
"It might be better if you don't remember."
But whether these words touched something in Klaud, his face became even paler than before.
"Yes, they slept together again last night."
A hollow laugh flowed out on its own.
Klaud, standing in front of the butler who was flustered by the repeated questions from his master, simply laughed hollowly. A chilling smile was deeply imbued with contempt for himself.
"It is believed to be a natural occurrence, as the mistress nursed His Highness throughout the night."
"Natural?"
The butler's words of comfort, meant to avoid disturbing Klaud's mood, instead became poison.
Klaud stared at the bandages tightly wrapped around his side, shoulder, and thigh, stained with blood, and for the first time agreed with his uncle's opinion of calling himself a 'beastly bastard.'
Even while experiencing the pain of flesh tearing and piercing through his body, he was sleeping together.
And the reason for that sleeping together was perhaps... the same reason he couldn't remember the pain of the night before.
'To forget the pain and sleep peacefully.'
Klaud nervously ruffled his blond hair and glared at Gustav, who was contemplating whether to leave his master or not. As he cautiously approached, Klaud lowered his voice.
"Why is it that only the woman is in pain when we sleep together?"
According to the chattering maids and the butler Gustav's reports, sounds of someone enduring pain were always heard from the bedroom.
It wasn't that he didn't know the reason, but wasn't it a bit much every time?
"Well, perhaps the two of you don't quite... match..."
Klaud raised one eyebrow.
"Or perhaps the man is a bit too... inconsiderate..."
The other eyebrow twitched.
"Both... perhaps..."
Klaud glared at the butler, who was only increasing his anxiety instead of helping.
Gustav, with a slightly aggrieved face, left his final piece of advice.
"It would be best to refrain, as His Highness's condition is not well. There have been several cases of Monarchs dying from overexertion throughout history. The same goes for women. If their stamina can't handle it..."
Click-.
"Even if it's just during the day, being a bit nicer to the mistress..."
Gustav, having said his piece, closed the door and disappeared.
Klaud clutched his head with a pale face.
"I won't eat it."
He was pushing it away more than usual.
Yuan, thinking of the pot of soup she had made in advance, didn't back down and placed the meal on the table.
"Don't be like that, please eat something. I made it myself again today."
Klaud's brow furrowed slightly at the words 'made it myself.'
He always had a dissatisfied look on his face since he was injured, not sure what he didn't like so much.
'Being ugly is better than being like an ice statue.'
It was true.
Klaud said things like 'get out' or 'go away' much less. Instead, he sometimes stared at her with an unreadable face. And there were moments when he was subtly, very subtly, gentle.
"I'll take it back if you don't want it."
He couldn't particularly refuse Yuan bringing him something she had made herself.
Not that he liked it or welcomed it.
Yuan reluctantly supported Klaud, who was slowly getting up.
This time too, he didn't rely on her completely, nor did he push her away firmly.
Since he was such a tall and large man, Yuan thought it was a bit much, but she couldn't help but think he was a bit cute for trying to at least pretend to eat.
"Why are you smiling?"
"..."
"Why are you smiling?"
"...Because you're cute."
An absurd expression appeared on his face at her muttered answer.
"How old are you?"
It was a trivial question, but she was at a loss for words.
Had he ever asked her personal questions like this before? Was it out of courtesy? Because he was bored?
Whether he knew Yuan was confused or not.
Klaud lowered his head and began to eat the soup.
Yuan watched him until he had emptied half the bowl, feeling like her heart was a balloon floating up into the air.
"How old are you, kid?"
Klaud, who had finally emptied the soup cleanly, raised his chin.
It was quite elegant, but there was a bit of soup on the corner of his mouth.
Yuan chuckled and wiped the corner of his mouth.
Klaud's eyebrow twitched once.
"I've eaten enough."
"Sixteen? Seventeen?"
His face turned blue as he said it, it was obvious where his thoughts were leading.
"If you're done, let's take a walk. The path is cleared of snow."
"How old are you?"
Klaud stubbornly insisted, as if he had to confirm it, with a pale face.
"Aren't you over twenty?"
"I'll tell you if we take a walk together."
In that instant, Klaud's usually noble half-white cheek flushed red.
Yuan quickly realized that it wasn't from embarrassment, but from anger.
A voice, pressed down between stubbornly closed lips, leaked out.
"How dare you, make a deal?"
