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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 7
Chapter Title: Regret
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7.
“Why? Were you going to tell Director Jin you quit?”
His voice was flat, devoid of all the heightened emotion from the night before. It was a short question, seemingly indifferent, yet both of them knew it was laced with a hint of sarcasm.
“Is it awkward seeing my face? More uncomfortable than you expected?”
“I didn't come to work knowing this was your movie.”
An excuse, unrelated to the question, slipped out, having lingered in her mind for so long. Yeon-joo barely managed to get the words out and instantly regretted it.
“I really didn't know. If I had known it was your movie, I wouldn't have joined the project.”
Since she couldn't take back her words, she decided to stand by them, speaking firmly as if printing each letter.
Actor. He burst out laughing at the word she'd chosen. Eun-seong let out a derisive scoff, then brushed off his jacket.
“Well, I suppose that's possible. So now that you know, you can't work with me?”
“It's not that, it’s just that a personal matter came up…”
“Perfect. Go on, quit. Running away is your specialty, your expertise. You're good at it.”
Yeon-joo clenched her dry fists. She knew she deserved his scorn, but her heart ached so much it felt bruised.
As he was brushing off his jacket, his gaze shifted to the mirror. He watched Yeon-joo’s reflection for a moment, then tilted his head. When their eyes met, Yeon-joo momentarily stopped breathing.
The moment their eyes met, a tingling sensation shot through her fingertips, so sharp it felt like their skin had touched. The pain spreading around her pupils was so intense she didn't think she could bear his gaze.
“You're good at that sort of thing. Making a fool out of someone is child's play for Go Yeon-joo.”
“Yes. I am good at it. Backstabbing people, making them look like fools, and running away—it’s my specialty and expertise. You know me so well.”
“How could I not? I was the party involved, the victim.”
“…”
“I might have fallen for it once because I didn't know any better, but not a second time. There's no reason to. So I'd appreciate it if you stopped acting like you mean something to me.”
She could feel him speaking through clenched teeth, only his lips moving.
“Wasn't making a mockery of someone once enough for you? Or was it not? It was more than enough.”
His accusatory face, his glare, his venomous tone and resentment.
It was exactly as she had imagined it, not a single detail different. She held his long gaze. It felt like her heart was churning, her mind growing distant.
She vaguely realized that while there was no point in resentment now, he would never find peace unless he vented it all.
…So, was this an opportunity? A once-in-a-lifetime chance for him to empty all the dregs of memory he held.
“I'm warning you. Don't just show up and disappear as you please. It pisses me off.”
“You might regret it. Are you confident you won't have any regrets?”
Eun-seong flinched at the unexpected question.
“What? Regret what?”
“Regret. Forcing me to stay when I wanted to quit. You might regret it someday.”
“Ha, listen to her.”
Huh. Eun-seong looked away, flustered, and let out a dry laugh. He replayed her words several times, wondering what he'd just heard.
“Answer me. Stop trying to buy time by scoffing.”
“…”
At her words, Eun-seong scoffed again, repeatedly. She'd struck a nerve, making a quick response difficult.
She's as sharp as ever.
Are you confident you won't have any regrets?
His gaze shifted to her as she looked up at him defiantly, her small hands clenched into fists. He suppressed the urge to ask her what kind of question that was and simply raised an eyebrow.
“You might not know this, but I did everything I could for you.”
“…”
“Everything. So there can't be anything left.”
The slight lift of his chin conveyed a crushing sense of superiority.
“Think about it yourself. Am I really valuable enough to you for you to feel an expensive emotion like regret over me?”
He stepped closer to Yeon-joo. As if to prove his words, he stood right in front of her, their gazes locked. They were so close their noses could touch.
The bonus was the look in his eyes, full of the conviction that he would feel nothing even if she devoured his lips right then and there.
“So cut the crap about regret and all that. I have no intention of cutting off your livelihood, so don't push your luck and just do your job well.”
“Do you think my livelihood can be cut off that easily? I won't starve to death even if I don't do this, you know.”
“Even if it won't be, you'll work until the movie is over. I don't want to know your personal circumstances, so just endure it.”
Yeon-joo's eyelids tightened, thinking he was being stubborn about such a strange point. After exchanging a few words, a strange sense of defiance began to well up inside her.
“Why are you so desperate to keep me? We're both uncomfortable. I'm offering to leave for that reason, so why are you stopping me?”
“Why would I trust you enough to let you go? You could just hide the fact that you left on your own and spin a different story, couldn't you?”
As Eun-seong shot back immediately, Yeon-joo swallowed dryly. Listening to him, every single word felt like a miserable injustice.
“It'll be a headache if you run to some reporter and spout nonsense about how I kicked you out and you lost your job. So just stay. It's better to endure the discomfort than to worry about rumors.”
“Then don't you go telling a different story later. I've made myself clear.”
As Yeon-joo mumbled in a small voice, Eun-seong smirked. Thinking she was just trying to protect her pride, he straightened up a moment later, putting distance between them.
“You're the one who shouldn't be telling a different story. We are nothing to each other.”
“Yes. I get it. I said I get it.”
Just then, the door opened and Hae-yeong returned. Eun-seong walked back to the mirror as if nothing had happened.
He maintained a relatively composed expression, but inside, he was seething with anger because of Go Yeon-joo.
*
“Ugh, seriously.”
“Huh?”
“It's nothing. Never mind.”
The manager, Dong-hwan, kept glancing at Eun-seong in the rearview mirror, trying to read his mood. It was obvious that Eun-seong, who had been grumbling with irritation ever since getting in the car, was in a foul mood.
“Ugh, ugh, seriously…”
A few seconds later, another burst of irritation from Eun-seong. Dong-hwan kept his lips sealed and turned the steering wheel more carefully than usual. He had no way of knowing the tangled mess of Eun-seong's thoughts, which were consumed by Go Yeon-joo.
Are you confident you won't have any regrets?
Wow, the more he thought about it, the more his blood pressure rose. How dare she ask me that?
Regret. Regret?
He was going crazy, thinking of all the things he couldn't say in his flustered state at that moment. The comebacks he should have used came to him belatedly, piling up along with a heap of frustration.
This is so unfair… so damn unfair…
“Ah, damn it. This is so freaking unfair.”
Eun-seong's eyes flew open, wondering if he'd said his thoughts out loud. Dong-hwan, who met his gaze in the rearview mirror, looked awkward and pointed at the traffic light.
“We could've made it, but the car in front was messing around. This light takes forever, so unfair.”
“Just drive slowly.”
“Yes, Hyeongnim.”
This was nothing compared to the unfairness of missing a traffic light. *Ugh.* Eun-seong groaned and leaned his head against the headrest.
He had already been planning to quietly call Go Yeon-joo aside and advise her to resign if he ever met her again.
He had planned to suggest, very quietly and gently, that it would obviously be awkward for them to meet again, and while he was sorry, as the lead actor, he couldn't step down, so perhaps she should look for another job.
But Go Yeon-joo beat him to the punch, and words he hadn't planned on saying came tumbling out.
If he hadn't been there just now, Go Yeon-joo would have certainly quit her job, and then she would never have shown her face on set again.
So, what would have happened then? He would have once again been the one to accept Go Yeon-joo's unilateral absence. Just like ten years ago, without getting to say a single word.
“Ha… this girl, seriously…”
Irritation flared up constantly. He was dizzy with the heat of anger at the thought that he had almost been foolishly tricked by Go Yeon-joo again.
“Hyeongnim. What about a meal? You should eat something before we get to the practice room.”
“Forget it. I have no appetite.”
Eun-seong answered Dong-hwan's question dismissively and squeezed his eyes shut. That ill-mannered Go Yeon-joo. That insolent Go Yeon-joo.
After all this time, how could I just let you go? Not a chance.
“You haven't eaten anything since this morning. Are you okay?”
“Are you going to build my body for me? Then I'll eat.”
“No, sir. I'll just drive quietly.”
Don't you move. I'm going to unleash all the resentment and curses I've been saving up for ten years all at once!
*
We would regret it, though
‘Perfect. Go on, quit. Running away is your specialty, your expertise. You're good at it.’
Ugh! Yeon-joo slammed her beer mug, which she'd been chugging, down on the table. Today, with only a three-hour costume meeting, Hae-yeong had finished work earlier than expected and coaxed Yeon-joo into getting a beer.
Already thirsty, Yeon-joo chugged the cold draft beer like it was water and wiped her lips.
What? Running away is my specialty and expertise? And whose fault is it that I have that talent? It's all because of you!
Hmph.
“So annoying…”
“Hm? What is?”
Hae-yeong, who was chewing on the dried squid they'd gotten as a snack, asked again, and Yeon-joo looked up. She laughed awkwardly, embarrassed at having muttered to herself while recalling her encounter with Eun-seong.
“It's nothing, Director.”
“Yeon-joo. It's just the two of us, can you do something about the way you talk? It's so awkward to listen to.”
As Hae-yeong gestured for her to be more casual, Yeon-joo just smiled brightly instead of answering. But her expression quickly changed as Eun-seong's words kept replaying in her mind.
“Did something happen at work? Yeon-joo, you don't look so good.”
“No, I was just thinking… this beer is really refreshing.”
“Don't be silly. Phew, the good days are over. Once the movie starts, you and I are dead for the next few months. Just so you know.”
At the end of her sentence, Hae-yeong held out her glass, and Yeon-joo lightly clinked it against hers. Gulping down the carbonated beer made her throat sting, a sharp sensation in her body.
“Anyway, Yeon-joo, let's do a great job. So we have no regrets in the end.”
When Hae-yeong mentioned the word ‘regret,’ this time it was her heart that stung. The events from earlier, which she had been trying to forget, came rushing back, and her heart sank heavily.
‘You might not know this, but I did everything I could for you.’
At that moment, her heart had dropped.
‘Everything. So there can't be anything left.’
Those words, which seemed to compress ten years of time, didn't sound calm at all.
His face, as empty as his hollow heart felt, seemed so cold. It was as if the magnitude of the love she had received from him back then came back to life, filling her completely.
‘Think about it yourself. Am I really valuable enough to you for you to feel an expensive emotion like regret over me?’
…The face and voice that used to whisper words of love whenever they met were gone.
It wasn't that she didn't know. She knew all too well, more than enough.
So why on earth did that fact hurt her heart so much now?
“Yeon-joo. Let's have just one more beer.”
“Sounds good, Eonni. Let's.”
Yeon-joo smiled quietly, following Hae-yeong, who was laughing about how beer after work is the most refreshing.
Right. Let's not have regrets. Let's not rethink anything. I can't be a person who lives in the past anymore.
“Oh right, didn't you say you had something to tell me earlier? What was it?”
“Oh? Ah, that. Just that… I'm looking forward to working with you.”
“Eh? Really? Go Yeon-joo, you're so dull.”
Just you watch! I'm going to endure it splendidly
