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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: That Night, We
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That night, we
Yeon-joo remained seated on the kitchen island until Eun-seong had swept up the broken glass and wiped the wet floor dry. Her pulse throbbed all over, as if her heart had decided to wander through her veins, and the thought of tying up her hair had long since flown from her mind.
After finishing the cleanup, Eun-seong walked over to the island. Yeon-joo watched him approach, sitting still as if she would wait until she was given permission to get down. He stopped in front of her.
“Oh, is it okay for me to get down now?”
“Just a second.”
Unable to bear the awkwardness, Yeon-joo shifted slightly, and Eun-seong reached out, placing his hands on the counter on either side of her. Trapped between his arms, Yeon-joo froze, looking up at him with nervous eyes.
Their eyes met, and he quirked an eyebrow as if to say, *on the same page?* Then, his Adam’s apple bobbed so hard it looked like it might tear through his throat, and Yeon-joo’s lips parted ever so slightly.
“Do you hate me?”
“Wh-what kind of question is that?”
“Just answer me. Do you hate me?”
“…I wish I did.”
Startled by her own words, Yeon-joo tensed her fingertips. She had left a sliver of an opening, and the impulse that had swollen to the bursting point began to struggle, demanding she finally let her guard down.
“Do you… like me?”
“I’m not going to say. I don’t want to answer that.”
“Then I’ll have to imagine it my own way. And that could be more dangerous.”
Eun-seong placed his hand over hers, which was still stiff with tension. Her heart began to pound, and afraid he would feel the frantic pulse through his touch, Yeon-joo started taking short, shallow breaths.
*Push him away. Get away from him, now.*
“It’s been so long since I’ve looked forward to a day of filming this much. Going to the set has become fun.”
Her mind launched one last, desperate protest, but her eyes had already gone blind.
He toyed with her fingertips as if teasing her, then gently stroked her hand before taking it in his. He brought her still-rigid hand to his lips and, pressing them against her palm, slowly closed his eyes.
Without lifting his lips, Eun-seong opened his eyes again. He gazed steadily into hers, which had lost all expression. He wanted to drown in her dark pupils, which shone like marbles of pure ink, like black pearls cherished by an oyster.
As his desire to possess her grew, his breath turned hot. The warmth pooled in her palm, and the heat shot down to her toes in an instant.
His hair, left to dry naturally, fell in soft waves as if it had been perfectly styled. A subtle fragrance she hadn't noticed in her carelessness had now settled at the tip of her nose.
“You tell me.”
Pushing this man away was harder than dying.
“Should I stop?”
He had turned her world upside down, and now, to her despair, he was leaving the choice to her.
He released the hand he had been holding tightly, and his torso leaned in a little closer. Normally, she would have pulled back and avoided him, but there was nowhere to go, and she no longer had the will to try.
Yeon-joo simply watched him come closer, her expression unchanged. She was neither surprised nor frozen. She had finally come to accept that no matter how much her mind tried to deny it, in the end, she was bound to be drawn to him.
“What if I say you don’t have to stop?”
“Then I’d say thank you.”
As if finding it hard to look at her, his lips moved down to her neck. Yeon-joo quickly spoke again.
“What if I tell you to st-stop?”
“Too late.”
His breath, hot as heated metal, fanned across her skin, and Yeon-joo squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them. His impatient lips seemed to latch onto her collarbone before moving straight for her mouth.
A fierce, intense energy arose, different from when he had tended to her cut lip. His tongue slipped past her parted lips, exploring wantonly. The champagne in her veins seemed to expand uncontrollably, threatening to burst, and for a moment, Yeon-joo pushed him away.
*Huu…*
A ragged breath escaped her, refusing to be controlled. Unsure what to do with the dizzying sensation that made it hard to stay upright, she could only gasp for air. This time, he grabbed the nape of her neck and pulled her back in.
Yeon-joo squeezed her eyes shut once more. Eun-seong broke the kiss for a moment, pulling her waist to press her body flush against his. Then he took her right ankle, wrapped it around his hip, and whispered.
“Wrap your other leg around, too.”
His voice was dangerously frayed.
“Let’s get up.”
It was so dizzying it made a mockery of her careless assumptions and shallow resolve.
As if programmed, Yeon-joo wrapped her left leg around his waist as well. Eun-seong lifted her effortlessly and turned around. As Yeon-joo looked down at him, his gaze, already damp with desire, seemed to tell her he wouldn't let her go easily.
As if it were her last chance, Yeon-joo opened her lips.
“You’re going to regret this.”
“I’ve been regretting things all along. What’s one more day of regret?”
Yeon-joo’s gaze was desperate. Held in his arms, her feet off the ground, her emotions churned relentlessly, leaving her breathless.
After a moment of just looking at him, she reached out and ran her hand through his hair. Though the strands were soft and smooth, her fingertips tingled and ached, as if pricked by thorns.
“You told me… to play with you.”
…In the end, I have no choice but to be led by him. It was foretold.
He wasn’t asking her to marry him. He wasn’t asking her to have his child, nor was he suggesting they make their relationship public.
What more could she cast aside to return to a world without him?
It was impossible.
“Then let’s just play. For real.”
“…”
“If this is what you want, and this is all you want, then I don’t mind either.”
For a moment, a mixture of emotions flickered across Eun-seong’s face. He seemed to be processing what he’d just heard, blinking slowly before letting out a short, hollow laugh.
“Ha.”
“Look at her. You’ve got a real knack for getting under a person’s skin. Is that what you want? For me to lose my mind?”
“What do you mean by that…”
Eun-seong, who had been standing still holding her, suddenly started moving. His pace was urgent, as if his earlier tenderness had vanished, and Yeon-joo had no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck.
He opened a closed door and stepped inside. A bed immediately came into view, and Yeon-joo’s eyes widened. He set her down on it, and this time, it was Eun-seong who looked down at her.
“If this is what you want, and this is all you want, you don’t mind?”
He lowered his torso, bringing his face close again. Once again, she didn’t pull away. Yeon-joo looked straight at him as he approached.
Her chest was on fire and her face was flushed, but the more she yearned, the more she feared.
“So, what is it that I want?”
“I have no intention of dating you, Baeunim. But you still want to sleep with me?”
“If I do, what then? You can give me your body, but not your heart? Is that it?”
The words that came out were somewhat harsh and cruel, and Yeon-joo closed her mouth. Eun-seong tilted his head as if demanding she finish her answer.
He seemed a little angry.
“You need to finish your sentence. How else am I supposed to do the math? If you’re giving me your body without your heart, what should I give you?”
“…”
“Money?”
The words he tossed out so carelessly didn’t hurt her at all.
“Tell me. We need to have a deal for me to be at ease…”
“We’re going to break up.”
At her heartfelt confession, he must have been hurt.
His wavering eyes told her so.
“In the not-so-distant future, we’ll go back to our own places, and you and I will live as if we never met.”
“…”
“I just hope that when that time comes, I don’t fall apart. I hope I can turn away with just the right amount of regret and just the right amount of relief. I mean it. So for the sake of that time, it’s better not to share our hearts. It’s better for both of us in many ways.”
In exchange for a few glasses of champagne, she had torn out a piece of her heart to show him. As if begging him not to ignore her plea, she caressed his face.
She was always looking for a way to escape, yet she prayed that today wouldn't be the day. She didn't know how far he would understand this wicked, selfish heart of hers, but—
“Then do it that way.”
His heart was already beyond his control.
“I won’t ask for it, so don’t pour your heart out for me. If that’s the way you need to live, then do it.”
“What about you, Baeunim?”
“I’ll handle myself. It seems you can separate your body from your heart, but I’m not that kind of person. So let’s just stick to what we’re each good at.”
“…”
“Right. Like you said, there’s an end. Even if we wanted to be together more, we don’t have the time anyway. And even if that weren’t the case, I have no intention of ruining the ordinary life you want to live.”
Eun-seong tilted his head.
“So let’s play our own way. I’m the type who has to give my all to have no regrets, so while I’m here, I plan on giving you everything I have.”
He still looked angry, and a cynical air still clung to him, but his gaze softened bit by bit, as if he knew he couldn't keep it up for long.
Every little thing about him caught at her heart. Because she knew that our words and actions right now would not exist if not for love.
“I think I must be crazy. To still want you, even in a moment like this.”
A longing settled over his eyelids like a shroud.
“I want to keep looking at you. I’m going crazy wanting to be with you all day.”
Every time he opened and closed his eyes, the condensed, layered love within him flickered in and out of existence, shining and then fading.
Yeon-joo, who had been endlessly caressing his face, looked at him with sorrowful eyes and quietly pleaded.
“Later on, don’t… don’t forgive me.”
“…”
“Never… never forgive me…”
His lips met hers, silencing her. The soft knit of her sweater was easily pushed up, and her pale skin was revealed in an instant.
With eyes that had surrendered everything, Yeon-joo accepted his kiss. Her hands, which had been hovering in the air, found their way to his shoulders, and her entire body went limp, as if acquiescing to his every intention.
Only after they kissed did she realize. From the very beginning, I had dreamed of us being together far more than you ever did.
As a crimson hue finally enveloped them and their ragged breaths flowed endlessly, she prayed silently to God.
*Punish me.*
*Punish me. Punish me.*
*This selfish, cruel me, I beg you, punish me willingly.*
It was the beginning of the night.
