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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 24
Chapter Title: Lingering Feelings
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He'd lost the will to fight, so much so that he couldn't do a thing.
Somehow, Eun-seong finished the shoot and got into the car, hiding his complicated feelings. Only after the automatic door closed and he was left alone did he let out the long sigh he'd been holding in.
“I’m going crazy…”
He hadn't forgotten Go Yeon-joo.
Once he admitted it to himself, the old, buried emotions began to reveal themselves, like a dam breaking under the pressure of rising water.
The sheer volume of it was overwhelming, and he couldn't tell where it began or ended. He felt like he was flailing, on the verge of drowning in it.
Ten years since they broke up.
A long time, long enough that no lingering, messy feelings should have remained.
“Ah… what is this… What am I supposed to do…”
He had believed the saying that time heals all wounds. And as he kept believing, it almost seemed to be true.
He had hated her, resented her, but as the years passed, he came to understand. On some days, he even believed it was for the best.
If they hadn't ended things like that. If they had clung to each other desperately back then. He leaned toward the thought that they might have faced an even worse, a far more terrible breakup.
Because there was no way she would have smoothly endured the moments of absence, of physical and emotional distance, and no way he would have tolerated it.
So, in a way, he was even grateful for her choice to leave him for her dream.
Thanks to her, he was able to throw himself into his work like a madman. Thanks to his overseas activities, he'd gained the fame he had now. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say his success was because of her.
Having been abandoned, he'd wanted to at least succeed, so he'd endured and climbed his way up. In the end, wasn't this glory something she had given him?
So he prayed that she, too, would live well. After several years had passed, he found enough peace of mind to genuinely wish for her happiness.
He thought he might even be happy to run into her again by chance. In the fantasies that sometimes came to him, he imagined he could take her hand, smile, and ask if she'd been well.
…He had been a fool.
“So much time has passed, how can a person still be like this…”
But the moment he saw her again, he painfully realized that all this time, he'd been indulging in empty fantasies.
Her eyes were empty when she looked at him, but his were not, and the thought bruised his pride and made him anxious.
But it was all in the past. A distant memory.
She was another man's wife, and a child's mother.
Right. That's what ten years does. It's enough time to blur everything, to turn it all into nothing.
He wanted to show her that she wasn't the only one who had forgotten. Just as her eyes held nothing, he wanted to look at her the same way.
That's why he'd kept her here. He wanted to create the perfect farewell, then send her off with a smile.
“Ha… you crazy bastard…”
He was so pathetic it was beyond words, and a curse escaped his lips automatically. It wasn't a curse aimed at anyone else, but at himself.
Clenching his fist against his forehead, Eun-seong continued to berate himself in a self-mocking voice.
No matter how far he tried to run from the thought, he always ended up back where he started, as if running in a large circle. Even when he sprinted with all his might, determined to hide this time, he'd come to his senses and find himself in the same spot.
So where was this place? This place he kept returning to, no matter how many times he left?
Looking around, I was dumbfounded.
It was by your side.
*
After the first outdoor shoot wrapped up, a simple company dinner was scheduled.
Eun-seong had been on a strict diet due to his many shirtless scenes, but it was now a period where he could let his body fat go up to 10%, so this was a welcome dinner.
As Yeon-joo was packing up her things, Mr. Joo approached her. He lightly picked up the equipment spread on the ground and loaded it into the car for her.
“Should I just load these in order?”
“Oh, Mr. Joo. Are you finished with your work?”
“Yes, I finished a while ago. I didn't have anything to do, so I was helping the props team with some odd jobs.”
Taking the items Yeon-joo was lifting as she stood up, Mr. Joo finished loading the car. He stacked everything neatly in the car as if solving a puzzle, then dusted off his hands with a furrowed brow.
“It seems like the wardrobe team does a lot of heavy lifting. These clothes are no joke.”
“That's because there's a lot of them. When there are fewer extras, there are fewer clothes. It's easier then.”
“I should have been helping you instead of the props team, Yeon-joo.”
“No, this is my job. You should be resting, Mr. Joo.”
“Just sitting and waiting is harder for me. I like to keep moving.”
Mr. Joo smiled and closed the trunk. As Yeon-joo took a step back, Mr. Joo looked at her.
“Um, Yeon-joo.”
“Yes, Mr. Joo.”
After calling her name, Mr. Joo hesitated for a moment. There was something he wanted to ask, but the thought that he shouldn't kept getting in the way.
“Yes. Go ahead, Mr. Joo.”
“Ah, well.”
*Did you know Actor Im Eun-seong from before?*
Mr. Joo stared at her, the unspoken question filling his mind. For the past few days on set, whenever he'd run into Yeon-joo, he'd been enveloped by a strange feeling.
And every time, Actor Im Eun-seong would enter his line of sight.
At first, he hadn't noticed the sadness in her eyes. Then, he couldn't understand it. And then, he grew curious.
“Mr. Joo?”
But today, he'd felt that very same aura from Actor Im Eun-seong as he shot up from his seat and walked toward her.
He didn't have a talent for reading people's hidden emotions, so it was hard to describe, but it was as if some kind of invisible barrier enveloped the two of them.
Mr. Joo, who had been staring blankly, lost in thought, quickly composed himself and smiled. Then he waved his hand.
“It's nothing. Did they say where the dinner is tonight?”
“What? Oh, the dinner. They said they'd send the location via text. Just a moment.”
Yeon-joo pulled her phone from her bag and smiled warmly.
“I'm often told I'm a bit dull, but you're giving me a run for my money, Mr. Joo.”
*‘Everyone here thinks I have a husband.’*
*Why?*
He suddenly remembered something she had said once.
*‘I lied because there's someone who has to believe I have a husband.’*
“Ah, Mr. Joo. Here's the address. If you didn't get it, should I send it to you?”
“Yes, that would be great. I'll drive. Let's go together.”
As Yeon-joo smiled, Mr. Joo smiled back awkwardly, lost in thought.
His curiosity about her kept growing, and more and more things he wanted to know about her surfaced.
It was a feeling he didn't want to avoid.
*
“Okay. Then I'll prepare a trench coat for the next shoot. Black is good, right, Director?”
“Black is great. Is it matte?”
“Of course. A chic, matte black. Long.”
“Perfect. Let's go with that, Director Jin.”
Hae-yeong, director of the wardrobe team, wrapped up a meeting with the makeup director about the next shoot. After finishing the meeting in the makeshift waiting room under a tent, Hae-yeong glanced at her watch.
“They said there's a dinner. We should get going.”
“It's been so long since I've been to a company dinner. There aren't many of them these days. We had to come all the way to Jeonju to get one.”
The makeup director chimed in, getting up to follow Hae-yeong.
“Director Jin, you're busy these days, aren't you?”
“Well, that's work for you. The backlog of schedules waiting for me back in Seoul is killer.”
*Sigh. I don't want to go back.*
The makeup director laughed as Hae-yeong replied in a whining tone. The makeup director, who was much older than Hae-yeong, packed her bag and looked around to see if she had forgotten anything.
“Looks like someone's already cleaned everything up. All we have to do is show up.”
The makeup director muttered to herself, then looked at Hae-yeong.
“Director, your new people are good. They're diligent and work hard.”
“Really? They're great, aren't they, my kids?”
Pleased to hear her crew praised, Hae-yeong responded with a welcoming tone, and the makeup director nodded. These days, it was rare to find people who would stick around and patiently learn the ropes, and it was even harder to find someone who was a good fit.
“It's hard to find kids who think like I do these days. Who was it? The youngest one.”
“Ah, yes. Our youngest. That's right.”
She was talking about Yeon-joo.
“She's sharp. Her hands are so deft. My goodness, maybe it's her age, but she's quick-witted, has a steady presence… She's a good person.”
“To be honest, she's overqualified for an entry-level position, but I coaxed her into it. You have no idea how many years I spent convincing her. After this project, I'm going to coax her again and promote her to the next level.”
“Really? That's great. Hold on to her tight. People like that are hard to find. Your youngest probably cleaned up here, too. What a dear.”
As the veteran makeup director showered Yeon-joo with praise, Hae-yeong wrinkled her nose in a smile. She completely agreed, thinking that everyone had the same eye for people.
“She raised her son well, too. I hope things work out for her. By the way, her kid is so handsome. Why didn't you have him debut sooner?”
“I guess everything has its time.”
“You're right about that. When the kid smiles, he looks exactly like his mom. What does her husband do?”
“Oh, uh. She doesn't have a husband.”
The makeup director tilted her head at Hae-yeong's reply.
“No husband? I thought I heard she had one. Was I wrong? Did I mishear?”
“Huh? You must have misheard. She doesn't have one. She's raising him alone.”
“My goodness, she's still so young, how did that happen? Aigoo, what a tough life. But she raised her kid that well? The country should give her an award.”
“I wish they really would. By the way, Director. So, we're good to go for around nine tomorrow?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. You set it up that way, Director Jin. I'll be there to match. Gosh, I'm hungry. Let's hurry up and go.”
“Yes, Director. Let's go.”
The conversation between the makeup director and Hae-yeong ended simply. Having worked in the industry for decades, the makeup director was worn down and jaded by all sorts of people and didn't take a deep interest in the stories of those she wasn't close to.
Ready to head straight to the dinner, Hae-yeong also picked up her large bag. As she left the tent alongside the makeup director, Hae-yeong raised an eyebrow.
“Eun-seong, aren't you going to the dinner?”
“I'm going.”
“Okay. See you there, then.”
Hae-yeong and the director quickly walked away.
Eun-seong couldn't move from his spot for a long time.
