Ch#59
Knight Order (4)
About a week had passed since the visit to old man Herman’s smithy.
The repulsion and the murky memories he had felt that day had eventually dulled again, pushed back into a corner of his mind.
Time truly was the answer.
It was only that afternoon that Elric, who had been feeling relieved, realized that wasn’t actually the case.
“The armor has been delivered!”
Beron had come to the mansion.
The moment he saw the boy’s face, Elric had no idea why his insides felt like they were rotting away again.
“Hyung Elric! Have you been well?!”
Once a discomfort is acknowledged, it rarely hides itself again.
Memories he didn’t want to recall kept being dragged to the surface, starting to scatter his breath.
He tried to respond with a forced smile, but it didn’t work well.
While Elric was thinking that things shouldn’t be this way, Tiria stepped in for him.
“May I see the state of the armor?”
“Ah, yes!”
She folded her hands over his.
The hands that softly wrapped around his brushed away the murkiness.
Elric’s gaze turned toward Tiria.
Did she know something? No, there was no way she could.
Surely that was the case.
“How is it? Are you satisfied, Head of the family?”
Was it because she could see right through his inner thoughts that she held his hand at every difficult moment like this?
Elric felt a strange ache in his chest for no reason.
“……It’s magnificent. Old man Herman’s skill truly lives up to its reputation.”
“Hehehe, my grandfather was really excited. He said it’s been a long time since he made a suit of full plate.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes! Ah, and……”
Beron hesitated before blurting out.
“……Um, you know, just in case. Just maybe.”
It was a voice tinged with desperation and a glimmer of anticipation.
“If you ever recruit knight squires, I really want to try out!”
His amber eyes burned with dreams.
Elric found himself gripping Tiria’s hand even tighter.
Then, she spoke.
“It is not yet time to think about that. The direction for operating the knight order hasn’t been properly decided yet.”
“Ah…… I see. I was being too forward……”
“But if the need ever arises, I will keep your words in mind. You may go for today.”
She dismissed Beron in her characteristic clear and calm voice.
Because it was a voice that inspired a strange sense of trust, Beron went back full of dreams.
And so, Beron departed.
“Let us go into the office for now.”
Elric allowed himself to be led straight to the office by Tiria’s hand.
During the walk, Tiria asked nothing.
It was the same even after they arrived at the office.
Even though she had smoothed over his momentary fluster for him, she didn’t seem curious about the reason and immediately began her own work.
Elric watched her blankly.
Whether it was indifference or just her usual composed nature, Elric felt a prick of guilt and threw out a question.
“Why do you not ask?”
“About what?”
“……About what just happened. No, before that, I should say thank you for handling things in my stead.”
“It is only natural. It is an affair of the fief.”
She spoke while scanning through documents.
“Furthermore, I do not wish to pry into things the Head of the family has not spoken of first.”
“Even if I were to never tell you for the rest of my life?”
What kind of answer was he hoping for with such a question?
While that sudden doubt rose within himself, Tiria raised her head.
Since she was sitting with her back to the window, her expression was veiled in shadow.
“Do you have bad memories regarding that child?”
“……It’s not that.”
“Then, have you done something wrong to that child?”
“That isn’t it either.”
“Then it must be something else. With my shallow powers of deduction, I suspect perhaps another child of a similar age was involved with you in a bad way.”
She was correct.
Whether she intended it or not.
Elric narrowed his eyes to see her expression more clearly, but it was a futile effort.
All Elric could see was her figure surrounded by the light pouring through the window like a halo, and the movement of her lips.
Those lips said:
“I do not know what kind of years the Head of the family has lived through.”
Calmly,
“I do not know if those years were a source of pain or joy for you.”
And clearly,
“So I will not ask recklessly. If it is sorrow, it would be me poking at a wound that hasn’t healed. I can only hope that if you ever shake it off, you might tell me that such a thing once happened.”
Her words were giving him a bizarre sense of trust.
Elric knew.
A mere fabricated tone could not provide such trust.
There was sincerity in Tiria’s words.
Come to think of it, she always showed sincerity no matter who she was dealing with.
That fact hit home.
Against his skin, and deep into his heart.
Why was it that despite being grateful, he wasn’t purely happy?
Thinking about it, it was because the thought suddenly surfaced that her kindness wasn’t special only to him.
Seeing as he was worried about such things even now, his condition seemed to have become quite poor indeed.
One thing for certain was that her words were a comfort.
Perhaps this was what he had wanted to hear.
Was it a weak heart wanting to vent his past years to someone?
Or was it a desire to reveal the past he had been hiding from her?
……No, perhaps he wanted to ask if it was truly alright for someone like him, who had lived off the blood of others, to be here.
Elric’s lips parted.
But in the end, he couldn’t say it.
The best he could manage was to speak indirectly.
“……I once met a child exactly that boy’s age.”
“Is that so?”
“I only remember the face vaguely, but the way the expression was distorted is vivid.”
“What kind of child was it?”
“It was when I was in the West. That child was a child soldier.”
“That is rare. I heard they do not conscript child soldiers in the Western war.”
“……If they wish for it themselves, they can stand on the battlefield. It isn’t a battlefield overflowing with enough humanity to go out of the way to stop them.”
“Then that child must have entered the jaws of death of his own accord.”
“I suspect it was to avenge his father.”
“Did he die?”
“He did. Right where I could see him.”
“Is that expression haunting you?”
“It seems so. That is why seeing Beron is difficult.”
“If that is the case, it is understandable.”
Tiria suddenly stood up from her seat.
Approaching with unhurried steps, she wrapped her arms around Elric’s shoulders.
“The battlefield is a terrifying place. I have not experienced it so I do not know it well, but I certainly understand that you know its horrors. I also understand that it has pained your heart.”
She carried a scent different from the earthy smell of this village full of wheat fields.
“No matter what comfort I offer, it likely won’t hold great meaning. So instead, I will give you a promise.”
“A promise?”
“Until the day that incident feels like nothing to you, I will not create situations where you must deal with that child. If a case arises where he must be dealt with, I will do it in your stead.”
He let out a hollow laugh, wondering what kind of absurd thing this was.
At the same time, he felt a sense of stability.
It was because she truly looked like she intended to do so.
He really couldn’t fathom what she saw in a person like him, who spoke such weak words, to offer such comfort.
Simultaneously, the thought arose that he didn’t want to disappoint her by merely leaning on this kindness.
“……Thank you. But there is no need for that.”
“Will you be alright?”
“I suppose one can’t live only doing things they’re fine with. I realized one thing while wandering the continent like that.”
“What is it?”
“That anything becomes dull eventually if you keep facing it.”
Elric gently pushed Tiria back.
Only then could he see her face.
It was a minute change, but he could definitely feel it.
That her entire attention was focused on him.
She was listening to every word he said with sincerity.
Even while knowing nothing.
“Fear tends to grow larger the more you try to run from it. Those were the words of a friend of mine.”
“You have a good friend.”
“A friend I don’t deserve. So, if only for that friend’s sake, I will try to face that boy myself.”
Once the words were out, it became easy.
No, perhaps it became easy because it was in front of Tiria.
Even if it was just a shallow desire to look good in front of her, he had no major rebuttal.
“It would be good to take in a squire. It might be best to proceed with it on the day of the investiture ceremony.”
In Wibin, he was not Kasha, the Ghost of the Battlefield.
Elric wanted to distinguish that clearly.
Here, at least, he was just a lame young master who had run away from home like a brat.
He was a fool barely being comforted by the skirts of a wife whose name they couldn’t even properly call each other yet.
A ghost having nightmares of the battlefield did not suit those elements.
It was something he had to shake off.
“I am sorry for saying such embarrassing things,”
He said, making his resolution.
“It is only natural to share your worries,”
Came the reply.
Then Tiria added one more thing.
“Are we not a married couple?”
The moment she uttered the word ‘couple,’ he had the illusion that Tiria’s clear tone faltered slightly.
It was quite ticklish, and pleasant.
The Wife Waited in the Wheat Field (Serial)
