Chapter 30
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"...So you're saying my memories are returning."
"It's not as grand as that. I only eliminated the side effects of the medication. Treating amnesia is impossible."
Ludville seemed somewhat disappointed by Odelia's explanation.
Was he thinking of using her to regain his lost memories?
'How ambitious.'
She didn't have such mystical abilities in the first place, and even if she did, she wouldn't help him recover his memories.
Ludville had to remain without the memories accumulated through thousands of regressions, especially all memories related to Odelia.
Only then could he someday abandon his obsession with the Blue-Eyed Woman and live a life for himself.
After that, Odelia quietly and persistently followed Ludville.
If he skipped a meal, she noted what had happened right before, and she also noted what seemed to affect his appetite.
And when he stared blankly out the window during meetings, she recorded the exact time.
Even the number of times he went out to the terrace to light a Cigarette.
Ludville leaned against the terrace railing, exhaling pale smoke from his bloodless, parched lips.
"I heard that the insomnia started three months ago. How long have you been smoking Cigarettes?"
"......"
"How long have you been dependent on them?"
"......"
"How many do you smoke a day?"
Ludville slowly raised his head.
Odelia's eyes, looking at him, were devoid of emotion.
It was just a gaze analyzing his condition.
Like a doctor diagnosing a patient.
Whether she was just hiding her emotions well, or if she truly felt nothing at all.
It was an unreadable look.
"...How far are you going to follow me?"
"I don't think a terrace open on all sides is such a private space."
"Is that what you're saying now..."
Ludville, who was replying as if dumbfounded, suddenly stiffened and almost reflexively stubbed out the Cigarette on his lips against the terrace railing.
The flame extinguished with a hiss in an instant.
"Get out. Someone who's already sickly, being so careless... What if you inhale the smoke?"
Without realizing it, he hurriedly waved his hand, scattering the surrounding smoke.
He was so anxious that she might inhale even a little smoke that he hastily issued an eviction order...
'...What?'
Suddenly, a strange feeling came over him, and he frowned.
Almost unconsciously, he put out the Cigarette, scattered the smoke, and even uttered words of concern for her.
As if it were ingrained in his brain.
It wasn't a normal reaction.
If someone else had bothered him by disturbing his rest, he would have blown smoke in their face instead.
While politely telling them to get lost.
...But his body and mouth moved on their own, betraying his will.
As if he were being manipulated.
'Brainwashing magic?'
No, that wasn't it.
In the first place, brainwashing magic wouldn't work well on Ludville, and if he had fallen for such a low trick, he wouldn't even have thought it was strange.
This was more like a habit...
"I'm just a little dizzy. It happens all the time, so don't worry too much."
"Stop talking and sit down. Your face is pale right now."
"I'll be careful not to be a nuisance. So... you won't abandon me, will you?"
"Abandon you? Ha, I don't even know if I could stop, even if you pushed me away."
"I would never do that."
"...Someday, you will. But it will be too late to regret it. I've decided to live embracing even your corpse."
'Again...'
That 'delusion' started without fail.
Whether it was something from a distant, forgotten past, or something from a dream or imagination, or a hallucination caused by Normaline drug addiction.
Nothing could be known.
Only one thing was clear.
The woman had blue eyes.
And those eyes were always desperately seeking help from him.
She was someone he wanted to hold in his arms and never let go of. Someone he couldn't even allow to die...
Always precarious, and she looked like she would collapse if he didn't hold her.
She often coughed up blood, making him carry two handkerchiefs wherever he went.
Small, fragile, and quiet.
...Everything was the opposite of Odelia.
But why was he unconsciously overlapping them?
Ludville couldn't understand himself at all.
'It can't be the same person.'
The only thing they had in common was that they had blue eyes and were sickly.
They were so different...
Yes, that 'sickly' trait.
The only reason he kept wavering and getting confused was because of that one thing.
"No, in the first place, is she even sickly?"
He began to interrogate Odelia.
"Why is someone who was said to be too sick to leave the family so healthy? Luring and beating up thieves, running around all over the place..."
Odelia stopped writing for a moment when she was pointed out something she didn't want to mention.
But she soon resumed as if nothing had happened and replied.
"Rumors are always exaggerated."
The Cardel family spread rumors that Odelia was sickly to hide her existence from the world.
It was true that she had become terminally ill due to the side effects of Purification, but it felt quite different from being born sickly.
The inside would gradually rot, but on the outside, she seemed fine.
Of course, even that would become noticeable as she got closer to death...
But for now, she could pretend to be fine.
"I'm quite sturdy than you think. As you said, enough to lure and beat up thieves."
Odelia continued calmly.
Ludville somehow thought that Odelia had beaten up Zeke, but she didn't bother to correct his misunderstanding.
"So you're not sickly."
"I'm not sickly."
Although she was terminally ill.
If she hadn't been exploited since she was young, if she hadn't used Purification, she would have been healthy.
She was just paying the price for using her ability.
Ludville made a 'that's what I thought' expression at her answer, which cleverly avoided the truth.
As expected.
He even seemed a little relieved.
'I'll be comfortable for a while.'
At least for the rest of the days, it seemed like there would be no friction over the same issue.
Demonic Energy, you ask?
'Compared to the Demonic Energy Ludville has inflicted on me during his thousands of regressions, this is mild.'
Well, most of them were white lies.
'To save me. Because he was afraid I would run away if I knew the truth. Because he was afraid I would give up and die...'
But as time went on, he became more and more lazy, and I knew he was deceiving me with insincere lies.
"Anyway, please answer my question. It's to accurately assess Your Highness's current condition."
"I believe you haven't signed the contract yet. I don't know why you're interfering already."
Then Odelia, holding the notebook in her hand as if it were a medical chart, replied calmly.
"Even if you say that, you can't kick me out until you've filled the promised fifteen days."
"......"
