Chapter 13
Husband is the Main Character, Chapter 13
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Before I knew it, the night had deepened.
Having finished all the tidying up, I left the kitchen.
Holding a candlestick and looking around alone, I found the house pleasing to my eyes once more.
I began to extinguish the candles I had lit throughout the house.
Originally, it was one of the servants' duties, but now I couldn't expect anyone to do such a thing.
The other family members were aristocrats to the bone, so they probably wouldn't even think of doing it themselves.
'Should I assign chores from now on...?'
Though not very hopeful, I went up to the second floor with that thought in mind.
On the first floor were my mother-in-law and sister-in-law's rooms, and on the second floor were Alex and my room.
Just as I was wondering if Alex was already asleep, I saw someone's silhouette in the hallway.
"...Alex?"
I lifted the shawl over my shoulders and checked who it was.
Just as he was about to enter his room, he turned to me.
"...Ah."
"You weren't asleep yet."
My eyes naturally showed my delight.
His disheveled black hair reflecting the moonlight, his clear eyes without any hesitation.
"...Are you just coming in?"
And his fluent pronunciation, like flowing velvet.
Only his way of speaking had changed, but his appearance seemed ten times more handsome than usual.
I approached him.
"I had some things left to tidy up. I'm going to rest now. What about you?"
"...I was just about to go to sleep too."
Sparkle, sparkle.
My eyes, reflecting him, shone more brightly than ever.
'Finally, we're alone.'
It felt like it had been days since I had a chance to have a sincere conversation with him.
Recently, everyone had been so stunned by the tyrant's antics that they were out of their minds...
I brought up the words I had been holding in my heart since earlier.
"Alex, wasn't it too hard for you to find a house? It couldn't have been easy for you..."
"......"
"Ah, I was just... worried. I was worried about whether you would come back safely."
"...I didn't know my wife was so worried. I'm sorr-."
"No. That's not it..."
Cutting him off, I took a few steps closer. I looked up at my husband right in front of his nose.
"I'm not trying to hear you say you're sorry. Don't try to handle everything alone from now on. No matter how much of a head of the household you are, I don't want you to carry everything alone."
While I was at the inn, I realized one thing.
That it was harder to just wait for him.
I would rather be with him anywhere.
"Actually, I want to be a strength to you too. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you until now..."
I clasped my hands together and spoke with all my heart.
I should have said this sooner.
Before he, who had lost everything to the tyrant, drank the rat poison.
Before his heart broke down and he thought of death...
Why couldn't I have embraced him sooner?
The fact that he had tried to die made me regret my past, when I hadn't been kinder to him.
He just stared at me with rigid eyes, unable to say anything. Then he opened his lips.
"...Thank you. If that's what my wife wants, I will keep it in mind."
"Yes."
I smiled faintly at him.
After looking into his eyes for a moment, I opened my lips again, enraptured.
"...It still feels like a dream. Are you really my husband? I didn't realize you were someone who could speak so elegantly."
He was originally a person with a very handsome voice.
There were many people who would turn around just by hearing him cough.
Even the sound of a sacredly enshrined bell would not be as reverent and noble as his voice.
But now that he didn't stutter, his tone shone even more.
The more I heard it, the more unbelievable and touching it was, to the point where my heart was overwhelmed.
He coughed slightly, turning his head slightly at my gaze that was staring intently at him.
"......Ahem."
At that short sound, I put my hand on my chest.
'How can he be so cool even when he coughs...?'
As expected, if you marry a man this handsome, your eyes and ears are pleased even if the family goes bankrupt.
"Alex."
I clasped my hands together and gazed at him with sparkling eyes.
He met my gaze with a puzzled look, as if he couldn't guess what I was going to say.
I carefully uttered what I had been thinking about all along.
"...How about we use the same room now?"
"Excuse me?"
As expected, his reaction was as expected.
His eyes widened and he looked as if he had heard something he shouldn't have.
Well, that's what I thought.
I didn't have much expectation that my husband, who was passive even at night, would want to use the same room as me anyway.
Originally, nobles did not use the same room as their spouses.
The same was true for my husband and I before we were kicked out of the ducal family.
But now I felt that our relationship needed to become stronger.
His heart had broken down so much that he had attempted suicide, and I wanted to prevent the same thing from happening again.
"...I know. How sorry you are that you can only put me to sleep even with me next to you."
"......"
"You were sorry and blamed yourself for only being able to give me an arm pillow."
Suddenly, his eyes wavered.
He seemed surprised that I brought up this story.
I raised one hand and gently grabbed his arm. I felt him flinch, but I didn't care.
"But I still want to be with you. Just because we're a couple doesn't mean we have to do 'that' at night..."
"......"
This time, his eyes lost their way in all directions.
My heart also started pounding.
It wasn't easy for me to say these things either.
But unless someone openly and honestly expressed themselves between him and me, we would always be stuck in the same place.
Of course, I was always the one to approach first.
"Let's be together now, Alex. I'm actually too lonely to be alone..."
After finishing speaking, I hesitated for a moment and began to reach out with my other arm.
Would he know?
I tried to act as if nothing was wrong, as if I wasn't impatient, but in reality, I was longing for my husband's touch and warmth.
When would I be able to receive a kind touch from him, my husband?
I wanted to be with him even if we didn't do 'that' act, or even if we didn't do anything at all.
Was my loneliness too deep?
The moment my hand brushed against his side, I felt him tense up.
I gently hugged his waist and buried my cheek below his chest.
'Ah.'
It was warm and cozy.
His fragmented abs began to tense up at my touch.
I liked the feeling of them being as hard as stone, but I also felt a sense of regret.
'He's more nervous than usual.'
But he didn't avoid me like he did earlier, but he didn't hug me back either.
When I approached him first, he would at least pretend to hug me back.
"Alex. Are you still breathing?"
I asked, slightly raising my head.
So, are we going to use the same room or not?
His silence lasted longer than expected.
But I still had faith that he would eventually grant my wish.
He had blamed himself for not being able to grant my wishes until now, and it wasn't like he hated it either.
If I wanted to be with him, he would definitely say yes for my sake.
My slightly slipped hand brushed against his spine.
My cool fingertips were about to touch his clothes.
At that moment, a bulging volume swelled up over the fabric of my dress.
'......Ah.'
It was an amazing feeling that I couldn't get used to every time.
Just feeling its presence vaguely like this made my heart flutter.
It was an existence that made me feel that dizzying anticipation.
'Too bad. He's so healthy and normal...'
At that moment, he stepped back abruptly.
"Alex?"
While I was stunned, he turned his face slightly. His cheeks were already red.
'...Was I pushed away?'
"I'm sorry."
"......?"
"I'll go in first today."
"......"
He quickly bowed his head once and then turned around.
He opened his room door nearby and just went inside.
"......"
Silence soon descended.
I blinked, left alone in the cold hallway.
'Was I just rejected...?'
It's not like I asked to make a baby, I just asked to sleep together.
Does he hate that so much...?
I couldn't move from where I stood for a while.
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'You crazy bastard.'
As soon as Alex closed the door, he roughly ran his hands over his face.
He moved as far away from the door as possible.
He could still feel Luise in the hallway.
Thump, thump, thump.
His heart was beating so fast it felt like it would pop out.
A strange woman suddenly giving him such a close embrace.
It felt like a fire had been lit all over his body where Luise had touched him.
The cool fingertips that touched his spine, the soft feeling of her coming close and hugging his firm body.
