Chapter 36

<36> Back to London (2)

"I'm hearing the same things from you that men say when their proposals are rejected. Well, yes. It's not uncommon for gentlemen and ladies to test the waters with marriage talk. But that's just a shallow trick, and Miss Pendleton isn't the kind of lady who would test the heart of a man she loves that way. You're not in her heart, Ian."

"I know. She hasn't seen me at all since that day, so it's obvious."

William sighed.

So that's why Miss Pendleton had been smiling so awkwardly and trying to change the subject whenever Ian's name came up lately.

"I think the first thing you need to do is restore your friendship with Miss Pendleton. You need to start over as friends to have a chance to win her heart."

"I think so too, William. But I can't leave that old man alone. I have to get him away from her, one way or another. If not with a gun, then by some other means."

"Ian, I agree that the current situation is unpleasant for Miss Pendleton. But I think we should let Miss Pendleton handle things with him herself."

"What?"

Ian glared at his friend again. But William remained calm.

"Miss Pendleton is a wonderful Lady, but objectively speaking, she lacks in birth and wealth. She's not under the protection of the head of the family, so it seems like you don't have to take much responsibility after messing with her. It's unfortunate, but that's how most people see it."

"......"

"I heard that countless flies swarmed around her after her debut. Even after she missed her marriageable age, they kept flocking to her. It would be healthier if they were just trying to take her as their second wife like Mr. Price. They're thinking about how to seduce her and make her their mistress or lover to play with. They're disgusting."

As he listened to the story, a thin vein stood out on Ian's forehead.

"But Miss Pendleton has never succumbed to such temptations. She cut them off so cleanly that the flies scurried away. I think this will be the same. She won't give in to external pressure and accept Mr. Price's proposal. Ian, Miss Pendleton will be able to handle Mr. Price herself."

"...So you're saying I should do nothing and just watch."

"My only intention is to increase your chances of marrying Miss Pendleton. If you interfere in the current situation, it will only worsen the relationship. She liked you very much as a friend, and she regrets your rejection and misses your friendship. But if you mess with Mr. Price, who is a friend of Miss Pendleton, in this situation where there is still some possibility left, you will be dismissed by Miss Pendleton. You won't even exchange a word with her, let alone marry her."

Ian stubbed out the cigar he was smoking in the ashtray and got up from the desk he was leaning on. Then he walked to the fireplace on one side of the study. He stood in front of the fireplace with his hands in his pockets.

William, who had spent more time with Ian than alone in his entire life, sensed an explosive current in Ian's state.

From the way he walked to the fireplace, from Ian's stiff back as he stood motionless by the fire, from the suppressed breaths he exhaled, William Fairfax could feel his unvented anger.

William felt uneasy, as if he were seeing himself when he was courting Miss Hyde. The heart of a man who cannot save the woman he loves from hardship is a chaotic mess of anger and misery.

Moreover, Ian was (he would surely be furious if I said this to him) a much more romantic and sensitive person than himself. He doesn't give his love easily, but once he does, he is devoted and blindly devoted. The fact that he cannot save the woman he loves from humiliation must be an unacceptable pain.

Ian stood frozen. About five minutes later, William cautiously approached Ian. Ian was staring at the flames with a pale face. His eyes were shining with anger and even more pain.

William spoke cautiously.

"I was thinking earlier. If your heart is fulfilled, it will be a happy ending for both of you. I believe that from an objective point of view, not because of friendship. You are a man who can make Miss Pendleton happy."

Ian was still silent.

"If you can only win Miss Pendleton's love, you can protect Miss Pendleton for the rest of your life. She will be able to wear Ian Dalton's Armor forever. So please be careful. You must not give in to this anger now."

Ian continued to stare at the flames. His chin was trembling slightly, and his eyes were burning as if the light had been transferred from the fireplace. He stood there, suppressing his rough breaths.

After a while, Ian muttered quietly.

"I feel like finding the people who insulted her one by one and giving them a punch. Starting with that old man."

William was flustered and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Ian, calm down..."

"William."

Ian took out the gun he had put inside his jacket and handed it to him.

"If I try to do something like that, shoot me with this gun right away."

William took the gun. Ian turned around and left the study. Soon, the sound of the door closing in the guest room across the study was heard.

William was greatly relieved. He had prevented Ian from fighting a duel of honor for now. He had done the best he could as a friend of Ian and Miss Pendleton.

* * *

Ian entered the guest room. His luggage was neatly placed on the small side table in the room. Instead of going to the bed, he sat in the chair next to the side table.

Then he took out a silver cigarette case from his bag and lit one. The harsh cigar smoke circled through his lungs and escaped. But it was still impossible to quell the anger that was licking at his stomach.

The anger that had surged since receiving William's letter in Whitefield showed no sign of subsiding and was burning his stomach. He wanted to kick the guy who was hanging around her out of London, out of England, forever.

But if he did, he would be cut off from Miss Pendleton forever. He would never see her smile again. No, he wouldn't be able to see her at all.

Rather than that, it would be better to have his stomach burn black with unvented anger.

He smoked his cigarette and thought of her again. The fireplace where he always sat facing her. The deep shadows cast on her face by the fireplace. Her clear and soft expression. Her elegant and intelligent voice.

The image of her that had been squeezing his heart throughout his stay in Whitefield tormented him again. He squeezed his eyes shut. His heart was pounding and he felt suffocated. He wanted to see her. He wanted to face her again. He felt like he could pay any price if he could see her again.

His unvented anger combined with his longing for the woman he loved and made him feel like he was going to die. He sat there at the side table, holding the burnt-out cigarette, and closed his eyes.

She was much closer than Whitefield. But he couldn't reach her either. Could there be a more terrible torture than this? He bit his lip and breathed softly. He wanted to see her. So much...

He wandered around the room as if his stomach hadn't calmed down even after smoking all his cigarettes. He hadn't slept properly for days, so he wasn't in good condition, but he wasn't in the mood to sleep. He sat at the desk on one side of the room and started writing a letter to Miss Pendleton, but soon crumpled the paper. Then he took out the paper again and scribbled on it, but threw it away again.

Even if he told her that he had arrived in London, she wouldn't see him. She would be wary of him as before. So what's the point of writing a letter? He leaned on the desk, held his head, and pondered how to see her again. But nothing came to mind. No way to break her wariness.

How many hours had passed? There was a knock on the door. When he answered, Janet's face popped in through the door. Janet's cheeks were flushed as if she had been drinking during the day.

"Ian, are you busy?"

Ian looked at Janet with a tired face.

"Why?"

"Well, Miss Lance is visiting and she heard that you're in London and she really wants to meet you."

"Miss Lance? Who's that?"

Janet looked at Ian with wide eyes.

"Miss Dora Lance. Don't you remember? You had a Formal dinner at the Lance's!"

He thought back to his memories in London for a moment. Dora Lance. He didn't remember at all. He had forgotten about his time in London other than his time with Miss Pendleton because it wasn't worth remembering.

He rummaged through the album of memories related to Miss Pendleton and soon found a Lady.

Ah, the friend Miss Pendleton introduced me to at that Ball?

Then he remembered her clearly. Her face, which was overly smiling at him, her opinions, which were not worth taking, and her attitude, which was strangely clinging to him and embarrassing him. Ian had seen so many girls like that that he wouldn't have remembered Miss Lance's name or even her face if she hadn't been a friend of Miss Pendleton.

"Miss Lance wants to see me? Why?"

Janet hesitated, unable to find the words to say. Ian said firmly that he would not go down. He didn't want to spend much time with a Lady like Miss Lance, and he wasn't in the mood to meet a guest right now.

But Janet had boasted that she would bring Ian down soon, so she didn't have the courage to go down to the drawing room and disappoint Miss Lance. She stammered to the cold Ian.

"But, Ian. You said you were home..."

"Tell her I'm sleeping, Janet."

"At this hour? That would seem very lazy."

"Tell her I came on the night train."

Janet mumbled.

"Still, we even went on a picnic together last time..."

"Who cares..."

Ian, who was speaking indifferently, suddenly stopped.

On the way back from a walk in Hyde Park with Miss Pendleton in London, he remembered the expression on Miss Pendleton's face when he praised her friend to make her feel better. Her face, which was flushed with joy.