Chapter 22
<22> Picnic (4)
"Mr. Dalton, are you feeling unwell?"
Ian turned his head to look at her. She was looking up at him with a worried expression. Meeting her clear gray eyes made him feel even more guilty about his current mood.
"There's a good spot to sit over there. Mr. Dalton, let's rest there for a moment."
She raised her hand and pointed to a flat rock on the side of the road. He shook his head.
"No,"
"Your face is much paler than before. And you seem to be sweating on your forehead. You must be tired from driving the carriage and rowing the boat today. Let's go and sit down quickly."
Miss Pendleton seemed genuinely concerned. As if to make up for the fact that she hadn't made any physical contact with him since their first dance, she naturally grabbed Mr. Dalton's arm and led him to the rock to sit down.
Mr. Dalton was even more embarrassed by her kindness. The kinder she was, the more inadequate he felt.
He sat on the cool rock for a moment and looked at her. The way she looked down at him. Her delicate features in her pale white face and her slender arm holding the parasol.
Dangerous. He thought. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.
He didn't want to keep looking at Miss Pendleton. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and spread it on the seat next to him. Miss Pendleton understood his intention and soon folded the parasol she was holding and sat next to him on the handkerchief.
He couldn't bring himself to look at Miss Pendleton sitting next to him. He only looked at the green foliage in front of him and the sparkling river that was visible between them.
Suddenly, a cool breeze swept past them.
The sound of leaves rustling in the wind and the fresh scent of grass stimulated them. He briefly wished that this was the forest of Whitefield. If he could be with Miss Pendleton like this in the beautiful forest filled with birch trees.
"Mr. Dalton, is the forest of Whitefield similar to this place?"
Mr. Dalton turned his head to look at her.
"If the trees filling the forest are birch trees, then it will be just like Whitefield."
"It sounds like it's lush and clean there too."
"And quiet. Because there are no people."
"That sounds wonderful. You're lucky to have such a forest nearby. If you live in London, it's hard to get close to such a lush forest unless you make a conscious effort to go to the suburbs. At best, it's just an artificially created park."
"But doesn't the pride of being a Londoner compensate for that?"
"I am a Londoner, but pride... I don't know."
"People who live in the countryside tend to admire London. Even if they pretend not to, they hope to build a Townhouse and be able to come and go every social season as soon as they have money. Many people will envy Miss Pendleton, who lives in the Grosvenor residential area."
Miss Pendleton smiled faintly.
"It's definitely at the forefront of fashion. There are many things to do and see. There are always plenty of supplies and opportunities. But it's also a noisy and tiring place."
Miss Pendleton tapped the dirt road with the tip of her parasol.
"How blessed it is to enjoy such tranquility. I really don't want to go back. London is too noisy."
A sulky voice. She was quite honest today. Mr. Dalton liked her being so honest. It was lovely, and he felt a little closer to her.
"I wish this was the forest of Whitefield. Then Miss Pendleton could be with the trees and leaves all the time. When evening comes, you can walk to Whitefield Hall and rest, and when morning comes, you can walk back to the forest again. For a day, two days, three days, four days, forever."
"That sounds wonderful, Mr. Dalton."
"It's not just words, Miss Pendleton. Come to Whitefield anytime. There are plenty of rooms. So much so that it feels like a waste to keep them empty every day. It's not a big deal to prepare one more serving of food. The servants will be excited to have a new guest, rather than annoyed. It's such a quiet place that even a slight change is welcomed."
Miss Pendleton smiled.
"That's a kind offer. Thank you so much. I would love to visit Whitefield someday. I want to see all the beauty of the land that Mr. Dalton loves. To do that, Mr. Dalton's mansion will need a mistress soon."
"Is a mistress really necessary?"
Miss Pendleton said as if it were obvious.
"Then is there any other way for me to stay as a guest in a bachelor's residence, Mr. Dalton?"
"It may take quite some time for me to get a mistress."
"Then I'll wait. If you ever get married, please send me a wedding invitation to London. I'll take the train and rush right over. Ah, just thinking about it makes me happy. I'll be able to see the beautiful scenery of Whitefield, as well as Mr. Dalton with his beautiful bride."
Mr. Dalton didn't find Miss Pendleton's words pleasant. Miss Pendleton's unreserved words reaffirmed that she had no feelings for him beyond friendship.
But even so, his feelings did not subside at all. The loveliness he felt from her did not change either. Rather, it only fueled his desperation.
"I shouldn't be dragging my feet for Miss Pendleton's sake. I will get a mistress as soon as possible. And I will get confirmation from that mistress that Miss Pendleton will stay at Whitefield Hall forever."
"Oh, Mr. Dalton. That's too much for your wife. You must never do that. I will not stay at Whitefield Hall and cause trouble for the mistress. If she is even slightly displeased with me, I will pack my bags and leave at any time. I never do anything to disrupt the comfort of my friends' marriage."
Mr. Dalton stared intently at Miss Pendleton.
"But what if my wife, my woman, Mrs. Dalton, wants you to stay by her side forever? What if she insists that you have no choice but to stay at Whitefield Hall forever?"
"...Then I might be able to stay. If Mrs. Dalton accepts me as a friend... But generally, wives don't feel that pure goodwill towards their husband's female friends. I can't imagine such a situation at all."
"Then, it's no exaggeration to say that Mr. Dalton knows nothing about a woman's heart. If you ever get a wife, you must never ask her about your female friends before marriage. Unless you want to experience a terrible marital discord."
"No, I will. Because if I ever get married, Miss Pendleton will have no choice but to live at Whitefield Hall. Without that situation, my marriage will not happen, Miss Pendleton."
For a moment, silence flowed between the two. Miss Pendleton looked at him with wide gray eyes. He was staring at her with a strong gaze, his jaw firmly set.
If he could have said just one more word that was inside him, the friendship between the two would have come to an end.
But Miss Pendleton deprived him of that opportunity.
She stood up.
"The mistress of Whitefield Hall will definitely object to that, Mr. Dalton. Because if she knows that she has to get married on the premise of accepting me in the first place, she will never agree. I hope you don't make unreasonable demands on your future wife. And I ask that you only invite me as a friend."
After saying those words, Miss Pendleton immediately opened her parasol, turned around, and left.
Her attitude was so cold that he couldn't even dare to follow her and express his thoughts again. He just stared blankly at Miss Pendleton, who was walking further and further away along the long forest path.
He had been completely rejected. Cut off without any room for other judgment.
He sat there for a moment. The fact that he had just proposed was more shocking to him than the fact that she had rejected him. To push so emotionally. Even after confirming that she only saw him as a friend.
It was an act that was destined to be rejected. But he had done such a thing. And the reason for committing such an act was obvious. It would be a noble expression to say it was because of love, but to be honest, it was desire.
'Damn it, I've made the most common mistake that men can make.'
He used to laugh at men who did foolish things because of women. During his time in society, he had observed enough of how foolish men became due to desire.
They were helpless in front of women, especially beautiful women. Even men from prominent families with sufficient education easily fell for the seduction of women and committed foolish marriages.
They courted, muttering about love and affection, but at the bottom of it all was only desire. Blinded by desire, they tried to take women with no virtues or common ground as their partners. And marriages made only of desire eventually led to terrible married lives.
He was fed up with such foolish scenes and stopped going to society.
But even if Ian's actions towards Miss Pendleton were due to desire, he did not regret it. His proposal was impulsive, but it was something he would have done someday anyway.
This was something he had been subtly planning while staying in London. To propose to her, get married, and take her to his Estate. That was the only purpose for him spending a month in London.
He has to explain to her. How seriously he loves her. He has to confess that he sincerely loves her, not just out of a simple impulse. Then she will reconsider his proposal.
He quickly put the handkerchief away in his pocket and walked quickly in the direction she had just gone. As he came out of the forest, he saw the group in the distance. The women were playing tennis, and the men were sitting near the court, fluttering their dress hems and watching the ladies hitting the ball with glazed eyes.
He looked for Miss Pendleton in the crowd. But she was nowhere to be found. He approached Miss Lance, who was cooling off on one side of the tennis court, and asked.
"Miss Lance, do you happen to know where Miss Pendleton went?"
"Ah, Miss Pendleton said she had urgent business and left first."
"She left? What did she ride?"
"In the servants' carriage. She seemed to be in a hurry, so I instructed the coachman to take Miss Pendleton there quickly."
Mr. Dalton bit his lip. Her intention was all too obvious. It was to avoid him. Did she hate his heart so much that she had to run away?
"By the way, why are you looking for Miss Pendleton? You're coming from the direction you would have met Miss Pendleton."
"There was a story I didn't finish telling. More than that, what urgent business did she say she had?"
"I think she said a relative was going to visit. Ah, and now that I think about it, she also said this. She said that the Pendleton family would not be able to receive guests for a while due to family matters. Mr. Dalton, you'll have to postpone what you wanted to say for a long time."
He stared silently at the dirt road she had left on. Miss Lance said something more, but he could hardly hear it. She had hurriedly left on that road. To run away from him.
He could understand Miss Pendleton's intentions more clearly than her cold reaction earlier. Miss Pendleton did not want to marry him.
She definitely doesn't want him as a man.
