Chapter 166
<Side Story Chapter 19>
Ian didn't waver. His determination to maintain Laura's love fresh by restraining his expressions of affection continued until that evening.
After dinner, the two sat in front of the bedroom fireplace to spend time together. Although it was the height of spring, the British weather was fickle, so the warm heat of the fireplace was needed after sunset. The couple often spent their evenings sitting in front of the fireplace like this before going to bed.
Laura brought a book. It was Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. A novel that Ian had once harshly criticized as "the worst novel Jane Austen ever wrote," but it was Laura's favorite of Austen's works.
Normally, Ian would have asked how many times she was going to reread it and what exactly fascinated her about the novel, but he pretended not to notice and leaned back in his armchair, opening the book he had brought. It was John Milton's Paradise Lost.
Only the sound of pages turning filled the space between them. The silence was awkward, as they usually sat in front of the fireplace and chatted about their day.
How long had it been when Laura chuckled across from him? Ian glanced at Laura over his book. She was resting one arm on the armrest, holding the book with the other, and chuckling as she read.
He estimated the scene Laura was reading based on the thickness of the pages on either side.
'Sir Bertram has returned from Antigua, and the play has been called off.'
Ian smiled faintly.
'It is a rather amusing scene.'
He turned his gaze back to Paradise Lost. On the pages, Satan was using elaborate rhetoric to tempt Eve.
'Disgustingly boring. I seemed to have read it quite interestingly back in college.'
He wanted to throw Paradise Lost aside and ask Laura to recite the part she was reading, but he held back.
He secretly watched Laura's expression over the book. Laura's expression was quite serious as she leaned her head toward the book. She sighed deeply. She looked quite displeased.
'What happened after Sir Bertram returned from Antigua?'
Maria Bertram marries Rushworth and leaves, and the charming Henry Crawford, who had been flirting with Maria, courts the heroine, Fanny Price. Fanny Price still loves her cousin Edmund, but those around her pressure her to accept his proposal.
Ian frowned.
'Laura has a right to be upset. Damn it, just because Fanny is poor, does she have to accept the courtship of such an old philanderer when she's only 17?'
Ian clicked his tongue inwardly. Austen was a writer who blatantly depicted the situation of women without money in the marriage market. Ian, who became emotionally close to the protagonists when reading novels, had to go through unnecessary emotional distress when reading Austen.
Ian, who had reread Jane Austen's six major novels at least four times each, thought, "Austen still doesn't suit me," and continued to observe Laura's expression.
Laura slowly turned the pages. The scene where Fanny was banished to her poor parents' house as punishment for not accepting the proposal. The scene where Henry, who had come to her family home, still courted her with unwavering affection, even knowing her embarrassing situation. And the momentous event: Henry abandoning Fanny, whom he had courted so earnestly, and running away with the married Maria Bertram.
Laura didn't seem very happy throughout the novel. Finally, when she reached the scene where Fanny marries Edmund, whom she loved so much, Laura quietly closed the book.
Ian still hid his face behind Paradise Lost, which was still open to the first page. Although he was blocked by the book, he could feel that Laura was thinking about something deeply.
'Wasn't it her favorite book? Why doesn't she seem very happy?'
"Ian."
He raised his eyebrows as if he had been deeply engrossed in reading and had just come to his senses at his wife's call, and looked across at Laura.
"Yes?"
Laura was staring intently at Ian. In her eyes, there was something, well, moist and tender, a very soft emotion hidden within.
To think that such emotions could reside in her usually calm gray eyes. Ian felt a tickle in his stomach.
"Why?"
She put the book aside and fidgeted with her fingers. She seemed shy and hesitant. The longer her hesitation lasted, the more his gut twisted in a strange way. Her eyes, expression, gestures—everything was so lovely he was going crazy.
He maintained a stoic face and waited for Laura's business.
"Um... I have a favor to ask..."
"Hmm, what is it?"
Laura bit her lip. Her cheeks were flushed red like a late autumn Fuji apple.
"Before going to bed... can I sit on your lap?"
The book fell from his hand with a thud.
Ian couldn't say anything, as if he had a coin-sized stone stuck in his throat.
"I'm sorry for bothering you while you're reading. But..."
Laura hesitated again. Ian swallowed the imaginary stone.
"But, what?"
"But..."
Laura dropped her gaze and mumbled.
"...I've always wanted to sit on your lap."
Without saying a word, he held out his arms.
Laura slowly got up from the chair. She carefully approached Ian and sat down, lightly perching her bottom on his right knee.
Ian gently hugged Laura's waist and pulled her shoulder so she would lean against his upper body.
"You wanted to do this?"
Laura nodded. He asked in a slightly trembling voice.
"Was there anything else you wanted to do?"
"Um..."
Laura fidgeted with her fingers again.
"...I wish you would... rub your cheek against mine."
Ian swallowed hard, then put his right cheek against Laura's left cheek and rubbed it gently.
"Like this?"
Laura smiled slightly.
"Yes."
Laura's smooth skin, like porcelain, touched Ian's cheek. He sighed.
'Why is this woman doing this? On the very day I decided to act indifferent.'
Without realizing it, he stroked the line of Laura's waist as she was held in his arms. At the same time, he traced Laura's cheek, which was touching his face, with his lips. He couldn't help it. The desire to caress Laura while being in contact with her was irresistible.
He thought she would push him away, saying it was too early, but Laura instead wrapped her arms around Ian's neck. And she kissed Ian's face here and there.
Ian couldn't stand it any longer. He hugged Laura tightly with both arms.
"Laura."
"Yes?"
Her voice was drowsy, as if she were drunk with sleep.
"Are you trying to seduce me?"
Laura stopped kissing and looked into Ian's face.
"Did I seduce you?"
"......"
"I didn't mean to. I just."
Laura smiled, folding her eyes into crescent shapes.
"I just wanted to love you. And I wanted to feel your love."
Ian closed his eyes. A small sigh escaped his lips.
"I give up."
Laura looked at her husband with a puzzled expression.
He jumped up from the chair. Laura's body, held in Ian's arms, was lifted up with him.
He strode towards the bed. Laura just hugged her husband's neck without saying a word.
Ian gently laid Laura's body on the bed. His hand caressed Laura's face. A large hand, hot as molten iron.
"I'll love you to your heart's content."
He leaned his face toward Laura.
"Don't even think about sleeping tonight, Laura Dalton."
* * *
Laura's sweat-soaked hair was spread out on the intricately patterned Turkish carpet. Laura couldn't even think about tidying her hair and clung to Ian. Ian rubbed his cheek against his wife's damp face. The two of them breathed heavily and hugged each other tightly.
The love that began on the bed ended on the soft carpet under the bed. Before they knew it, the light of dawn was shining through the window.
Ian's rough breathing gradually subsided. He stroked Laura's back, who was still panting.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Laura shook her head.
"Are you in pain anywhere?"
"Haa, ha, no, I'm not..."
Laura hugged Ian even tighter.
"There wasn't a single moment that wasn't pleasant."
Ian smiled softly.
"I'm proud."
"It's strange. Why, are you, proud of this?"
"That's how men are. Isn't it strange?"
The two remained there for a while, hugging each other. Feeling each other's body temperature, breath, and heartbeat.
Laura closed her eyes. Her whole body was filled with his love. It was more satisfying than the peak of physical pleasure.
All night long, he poured and poured and poured. It was as if a torrential rain was pouring down on her head. No, it was as if a wave as high as the Tower of Babel was crashing over her.
Laura was neither afraid nor overwhelmed. If he was the wave, Laura was a huge dish. Her soul, the moment it touched Ian, became infinitely wide and concave, containing all of his love without spilling a single drop.
Ian's love sloshed in Laura's concave soul. As if it would overflow if even one more drop was added, sloshing.
'I'm happy. I'm really, really happy.'
Laura blinked her watering eyes. Tears flowed down her eyes.
"Laura. I hate to break the mood, but what happened today?"
Ian asked after a long silence.
"The gifts, the skinship, the seduction. You're like a different person."
"Did you not like it?"
"Of course not."
"That's a relief. I guess I can keep doing this from now on."
Ian gently pulled away from Laura, whom he was holding, and met her gaze.
"Really?"
Laura nodded.
"Wow."
He exclaimed with a dazed face.
"This isn't a dream, is it?"
Laura stretched Ian's cheeks out on both sides.
"Ah, it's not a dream."
The two put their foreheads together and chuckled.
"But seriously, why are you doing this? You've suddenly changed, and it's scary."
"There's no special reason. I just felt anew how much I love you."
