Chapter 163
“Thank you, Doctor Mackenzie.”
“Why are you thanking me when you are perfectly healthy, Mrs. Dalton?”
“Because you are the one with the ability to diagnose. Thank you. Really… it was worth coming all this way.”
Tears welled up in Laura’s eyes. She took out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.
“Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule. I’ll gain weight and come back again. Then…”
Laura rose from her chair to return home.
“Mrs. Dalton.”
“Yes?”
“…Please, sit down for a moment.”
Laura, who had been standing awkwardly, sat back down. He crossed his arms and stared intently at Laura. His gaze was a little frightening. It was as if the deceased Victor Hugo was glaring at her, so how could she not be scared?
“I have known of Mrs. Dalton for some time. Even a recluse buried in the mountains cannot be ignorant of the world if they are clinging to worldly ties for a living.”
“Ah, yes…”
“Everyone said that Dalton married a penniless woman from a ruined family. They said that woman’s name was Laura Pendleton, a lowly bastard who took her mother’s surname.”
“……”
“People whispered wherever she went. A troubled marriage leads to a troubled life. It’s insane that the heir of Yorkshire would make such a choice, they said. They are right. Conservative views always contain insight into reality. I thought, Dalton made a very foolish decision.”
Laura’s heart slowly sank as she listened to the story.
She knew it too. What kind of reputation the Dalton Family had in the world, and what kind of words would pour out because of her union with Dalton. She knew it so well that she tried to run away from the man she loved to death and reject fate.
But hearing such a story to her face anew did not feel good. She was no longer Laura Pendleton, who was used to being ignored and ostracized. She was Laura Dalton, who was used to being respected and loved.
“…So, what are you trying to say?”
Laura retorted a little stiffly. Doctor Mackenzie continued calmly.
“But then, I heard this story. That Laura Pendleton was a very beautiful woman. Even though she was separated from her parents at a young age and abused by a terrible uncle, her heart was as soft as silk and her demeanor was like that of royalty. She was also deeply learned, no less than any scholar. She loved Dalton so much that she refused proposals that could have turned her life around several times.”
Doctor Mackenzie smiled slightly for the first time today.
“I thought it was an exaggeration, but after meeting you today, I see that it is all true. Dalton has gained a very beautiful and elegant wife. And it is also true that she loves her husband very much.”
An unexpected compliment. Laura’s face flushed with shyness.
“I am the one who is lucky. I am an inadequate wife for him.”
“Is that thought stemming from the fact that you cannot bear him children?”
“The child issue is part of it. I have many shortcomings compared to him.”
“That is commendable humility, but a person who is preoccupied with their own shortcomings cannot be happy.”
He pulled his chair slightly closer. The distance between the two narrowed slightly.
“I have been treating infertile couples for over forty years. Among them, there were couples who succeeded in conceiving, and couples who failed. But among the successful couples, there were surprising cases. They gave up on pregnancy and adopted children, but one day, a child suddenly appeared in their womb. It was such a frequent occurrence that I, as a doctor, could not help but wonder. I even researched the issue for several years. But I couldn’t find a scientific answer. I could only vaguely speculate. God does not want humans to fret over what He will take care of Himself.”
“……”
“My opinion is that children are sprouts that grow when their parents are happy. Only then can they provide a stable home after the child is born, and even if a child is not born, they can have a harmonious married life. Mrs. Dalton, do you go to church every week?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe that God watches over us and completes His will through us?”
“Of course.”
“Then it wouldn’t be difficult to believe that He will give you a child when the time comes. How about entrusting everything to God?”
Doctor Mackenzie’s advice struck a chord with Laura. She suddenly gained enlightenment as if she had been splashed with cold water and awakened from a dream.
‘Yes, whether or not I have a child is not something I can control. But I never even thought of entrusting this to God. Even though I pray every day and go to church every week.’
She nodded to Doctor Mackenzie. Doctor Mackenzie wore a smile that was full of the experience that made people want to lean on him more than anything.
“Then, enjoy your current happiness until the Lord gives you a child. Aren’t you a couple who came together after overcoming difficult obstacles? You must not miss that happiness for even a moment. Give your husband all the love you can give, and receive all the love he gives you without any guilt. Mrs. Dalton needs happiness more than responsibility.”
Laura couldn’t say anything. Only tears streamed from her eyes.
She loved her husband so much. So, she thought that she should not let him give up the happiness that other men enjoyed just because he had chosen her.
The fact that she had even visited a doctor after only one year of marriage, fearing that she could not have children, was all because of an excessive sense of responsibility to give her husband happiness.
Indeed, Doctor Mackenzie was the best physician and counselor. He had read all of Laura’s heart.
She took out a handkerchief, buried her face in it, and cried for a long time. He did not offer a word of comfort, but Laura could feel it. That he understood her heart and wished her happiness.
In the carriage leaving the cottage, Laura asked herself.
Why did I marry Ian?
‘Because I love him so much. Because I want to spend my whole life with him. Because I want to live happily with him for the rest of my life.’
That’s right. It was because she wanted to live happily with him.
Laura had worked hard for his happiness over the past year. As he made her happy, she thought that she should also take responsibility for his happiness. But looking back, Laura seemed to have been thinking this all along. That she had to repay him because he had married a woman like her who had nothing.
‘I ignored myself. How can I be happy with him with this kind of heart?’
Laura reawakened the reason that had been pushed to the corner, swayed by fear and responsibility.
‘Yes, Doctor Mackenzie is right. Whether or not I have a child is not my domain. Let’s entrust everything to God. And let’s focus on this moment. On the happiness that Ian and I are creating. That’s what’s really for us.’
Laura looked out the window. A dark field covered with thin clouds like chiffon scarves, with sheep and cows grazing on it. She hadn’t noticed it before, but Doctor Mackenzie lived in a wonderful landscape.
Laura smiled brightly. A throbbing longing for her husband flowed into her heart, which was much lighter than when she had headed to the cottage.
‘I will give him all my love without holding back. And, I will receive all of his love. Without hesitating, without guilt.’
* * *
Noel placed a ledger on Ian’s desk.
“Dalton, the monthly rent settlement is complete.”
Ian, who had been reading a newspaper article about the departure of a merchant ship from a port company that was considering purchasing shares, folded the newspaper and scanned the ledger.
The ledger, in which alphabets and numbers were neatly arranged as if typed, contained a clear summary of the income from the Dalton Family's forests, farmlands, buildings, and other properties for the past month. To Ian's eyes, which were uncanny at spotting lazy mistakes and corrupt omissions, the ledger organized by Noel was perfect in terms of both efficiency and integrity.
Ian returned the ledger and began reading the newspaper again. Noel tucked the ledger under his arm and returned to his desk.
It was a diligent afternoon as usual. After lunch, Ian met with his legal representative, spoke with a farmer who wanted to lease additional farmland, and then read the newspaper. Meanwhile, Noel replied to minor business letters, wrote an article for a building rental advertisement and sent it to the newspaper, and organized the ledger.
In the days before Noel, it was unimaginable for Ian to read the newspaper in the afternoon. He was constantly busy. Naturally, he had to do even the work that Noel was doing now.
He once had land agents and secretaries other than Noel. But they were either prone to mistakes, lazy, or tried to cheat their master and earn extra income.
Ian, who was not a very generous employer, fired people as easily as eating, and eventually realized that handling everything himself was the most comfortable way.
If he hadn't had to go to London urgently to shoot Price two years ago, he would not have hired Noel. He looked like someone who had all three of the above shortcomings just by looking at him.
But unexpectedly, he was a talented person with abilities that Ian could be satisfied with. He was diligent, meticulous, and very honest. After hiring him, Ian's life became quite relaxed.
Knock, knock.
A knock was heard. Soon the door opened and Ramswick entered. He bowed deeply to his master.
“Where would you like to have your tea?”
Ian glanced at the table clock. It was exactly tea time.
“Have it here. Bring Noel’s as well.”
Just as Ramswick was about to close the door and leave, Noel called out.
“Ramswick, could you please send up some of the Rice Pudding made this morning?”
Ramswick glared at Noel.
“I will.His tone was as if to say, ‘Eat instead of pudding.’ He closed the door and left.
