Chapter 156
<Episode 9>
The warm May sunlight shattered against the birch shadows, scattering in fragments on the path. The forest's scent was fainter than in summer, yet richer than in winter. The air gently enveloped those who walked within it with a warmth and sweetness that no other season could imitate.
Ian led Laura off the wide main road and onto a small, branching path.
Soon, the color exhibition he had spoken of unfolded. Red primroses, purple violets, yellow buttercups, and pink azaleas. And nameless wildflowers, dangling from their stems, revealing their faces to the world.
The wildflowers bloomed haphazardly, without consistency, yet they showcased subtle colors that even the famous plants listed in flower encyclopedias could not fully express.
Bees busily buzzed among the flowers. They were the cute gardeners of Whitefield, diligently moving pollen from place to place to gather honey and transform Whitefield into a flower paradise.
As she walked along the path, Laura felt her spirits lift. A peaceful and warm feeling spread through her heart. She slung her parasol over her shoulder and twirled it around.
After their marriage, Laura's favorite time was undoubtedly her walks with her husband. The couple walked together in the Whitefield forest more than three times a week, holding hands or arm in arm.
Sometimes they talked, and sometimes they simply walked in silence. Either way, it was enjoyable, and they felt connected to each other.
They passed a spring as clear as glass and a low hill covered with wild strawberries before reaching a rubber tree forest. The two decided to rest for a while. Laura spread a handkerchief on a tree stump and sat on it, while Ian leaned against a large rubber tree next to the stump.
He kept rummaging through his pockets as if looking for something. Laura noticed that he was looking for his cigar case. It seemed his subconscious had not yet accepted his quitting smoking.
Laura smiled faintly.
"Ian. Do you have a mouse in your pocket?"
Ian, who had been watching a family of squirrels trembling in the hollow of the opposite rubber tree, finally looked down at his hands.
He smiled bitterly and withdrew his hands from his pockets.
"Quitting smoking, can I do it?"
"You have to, since you decided to. It will be hard, though."
Laura felt sorry for him. She stroked his arm in encouragement.
A moment of silence fell. A fragrant spring breeze passed between them with a soft rustling sound. As befitting a forest breeze, it was refreshing but not sharp at all, as fluffy as cotton.
"It feels just like two years ago."
Laura looked up at him. Ian was raising the corners of his mouth.
"When we were friends, we sat side by side in the forest on a spring picnic, enjoying the breeze like this."
Laura remembered too. After Mr. Fairfax and Miss Hyde's Stone skipping bet, the two of them had slipped away and walked through the nearby forest. They had sat on a small rock there, looking out at the beautiful lake beyond the trees, and talked.
'What did we talk about then?'
As if reading Laura's thoughts, Ian opened his mouth.
"It was the day I was first rejected by you."
"Ah……."
Yes, Ian had proposed that day. It was indirect, but the language was clear enough that no lady in London could possibly misunderstand its meaning.
Laura had jumped up and fled the forest as soon as she heard those words. It was because she thought she had to reject him.
"I didn't know then. That I would become Laura Dalton like this and enjoy the breeze with you."
"I didn't know either. That it wouldn't be the last time I was rejected."
"Were you upset?"
"I wanted to die."
Laura was startled.
"Were you that upset?"
"No. I was embarrassed."
"Silly. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Men are like that. When they get rejected by a woman, they want to die."
Laura smiled bitterly.
"I hurt you. Twice."
"It's okay. It all healed when you proposed."
Ian bent down and kissed the top of Laura's head.
As they talked about those days, Laura was struck anew by how strange it was that she was now his wife. At the time, she had thought it was an impossible choice, akin to converting to Buddhism, but in just one year, she had gone to Ian herself and proposed. And now, she was fretting over whether she would be able to conceive his child.
'There's really nothing to be sure of in this world. No matter how firm a belief you have in your heart, it seems that the human heart changes depending on the situation, the experience, and the person in front of you.'
"Laura."
Lost in thought, Laura looked up at Ian again. He was looking up at the trees, at the branches that covered the forest like a ceiling.
"Do you regret marrying me?"
Laura's eyes widened.
"You gave up the most important belief in your life to become my wife. I wonder if I was a man worthy of that."
"Why are you asking such a question?"
"A marriage check-up."
Laura found his question quite unnecessary. It was as if the answer was already determined.
'No. I never regret it.'
Laura had experienced perfect happiness through her marriage to Ian. A happiness that she had vaguely guessed might exist in the world, but had never experienced even once. Laura, who had always lived a life lacking something, now found each day peaceful, warm, and yet joyful and exciting.
Laura, who had always dreamed of a life different from the present in the past, now wanted the future to be just like the present. Meeting him and starting a family was the best life Laura could live.
"……Do you regret it? Have I been a good wife to you over the past year?"
He was silent. Only the rustling sound of branches rubbing against each other lingered between them.
Laura poked the ground with the tip of her folded parasol. She felt a little anxious.
She knew it too. That Ian loved her terribly. A husband who was always thinking of ways to make her happy. A husband who gave everything he had without boasting, but rather regretting that he couldn't give more. There was no better husband anywhere.
So, she was sometimes anxious. What if the happiness she had now disappeared? What if she made some mistake and the relationship broke down?
Too much happiness can be poison. She, who had never been very happy in her life, became more anxious the happier she was. If possible, she wanted to grab hold of her current happiness. She wanted to hammer it down and tie it down so that it would stay in her life as it was.
"Laura."
"……."
"Look at me, won't you?"
Laura only tormented the innocent Whitefield with the tip of her parasol. Somehow, she didn't have the courage to look at his face.
Her husband's clean shoe tip came into view, fixed on the ground. Dark brown leather shoes, neatly laced as always.
His large hand came under Laura's face and gently cupped her chin. Her head was slowly lifted upward.
Ian was smiling.
"Are you worried that you won't get a good score from me?"
His voice sounded somehow cheerful. She lowered her gaze with a sulky expression.
"Look at me."
At the whispering voice, Laura's gray eyes turned to his face like iron filings drawn to a magnet.
"You can be confident with me. Because I am, not as a rhetorical expression, but truly your slave. The wise slaves in the Bible sometimes manipulate their masters' hearts to gain freedom. I am a foolish slave. I can't do anything without my master, and I have no meaning in life other than serving my master. I don't want to be freed."
"……."
"I won't answer your question. It's absurd for a master to ask a slave what they think of them. Now, I'll ask again. Laura, do you regret marrying me?"
His expression was confident, and his voice was calm. But the hand holding her chin was trembling slightly.
It seemed he was just as afraid.
She gently took her husband's hand resting on her chin. And she took off the leather glove that covered his hand. A firm, large, warm hand was revealed.
She kissed Ian's palm. And she gently pressed it against her cheek. As she was in contact with her husband, a warm sensation spread through her heart as if she had poured warm water into it.
"I gave up a lot to become a woman who can kiss your hand. There's nothing I regret among them. Because they're all things that aren't needed to go to heaven."
Laura confessed quietly.
"The year I lived as your wife was like a midday in heaven."
He grabbed Laura's shoulders and lifted her up from the tree stump. The two stood facing each other.
Ian's lips were forming a pretty curve.
"Oh my, Laura has fallen head over heels for her husband? I thought the weight of our love was the same, but now it seems you love me more?"
Laura pouted and mumbled.
"Don't tease me."
"When you make that expression, I want to tease you."
His eyes curved into crescent moons. A smile as beautiful as a flower. Could there be another man with such a beautiful smile? Laura somehow felt ticklish in her stomach and tried to turn her gaze away. He cupped Laura's cheeks and made her face his.
"I want to kiss you."
"Here……?"
"Yes."
Laura shook her head.
"Why?"
"Someone might see us."
"No one will come."
"But……."
"The farming season has started. Everyone who is healthy is either in the fields or in the orchards."
She shook her head once more. It had only been a little while ago that they had almost been caught in a compromising situation in the carriage. She couldn't do something foolish again.
"Really not?"
"No."
He whined as if he was acting spoiled.
"I'm going to die."
"No one dies from not being able to kiss except for the protagonists in Andersen's fairy tales. The poor princess and prince who are cursed by a wicked witch."
"I'm cursed too."
"Who cursed you?"
"Oliver, that guy was actually a witch in disguise as a pastor. He made his wife and children out of household items. Actually, Mrs. Starr is a flower vase, and Harry is a broom."
Laura laughed out loud.
"To make such irreverent jokes about a clergyman's family. It's blasphemy, dear."
"It's true. While you went to see Mrs. Starr and the nursery, I followed Oliver to the study. But suddenly, he started chanting a spell. Harry became a broom, and Oliver, wielding the broom that had just been Harry, shouted this: 'If you do not have a kiss of true love, you will become a sparrow and peck at millet for the rest of your life!'"
