Chapter 146
#<Episode 146>
The smile vanished from Mrs. Fairfax's face, replaced by an uneasy and awkward expression, as if she had stepped on a small thorn hidden in her shoe.
She sensed that Laura before her would rebuke her for her imprudence. By age, status, and the wisdom that Dora herself acknowledged, Laura was qualified to admonish her.
Dora Fairfax did not fully understand Laura. That was why she harbored such fear towards Laura.
"...Yes, I remember."
The young Mrs. Fairfax, like a criminal confessing, clasped her fingers together and lowered her head with a dejected expression.
Laura took Mrs. Fairfax's hands in hers, as if to embrace them.
"Madam, my husband and Mr. Fairfax are the best of friends and related by marriage. We are practically family now. So, I confess, believing that you will understand my shortcomings with a more generous heart than others."
Mrs. Fairfax raised her head. Laura was smiling gently.
"In fact, that story was from my experience when I was seventeen."
Mrs. Fairfax's eyes widened. Laura continued.
"Of course, excluding the part about marrying a wealthy man thirty years older. Looking back, it's quite embarrassing. Back then, I was foolish and impulsive. I was more prudent than my peers, but helpless in the face of love. It was because I didn't know the world or life yet. I made a mistake and paid a great price."
Laura's cheeks flushed slightly, as if ashamed.
"It took a long time to forgive myself for that time. I blamed myself a lot and cried a lot. Honestly, until recently, I wasn't completely free from that time. That's why I tried so hard to pair so many ladies with good men during my time in society. I didn't want other ladies to repeat the same mistakes I made."
Dora looked at her silently, with eyes full of empathy, compassion, and respect for Laura.
"There were parts where I grew thanks to the wound. I became much more cautious and learned how to see people. If you embrace the wound, it becomes fertilizer. There is a truth that many people only realize late in life: no one grows without making mistakes."
"..."
"Everyone makes embarrassing mistakes. That's because God created us as unfinished beings. He wants us to be completed as we live. The material for that completion is mistakes. We become better beings through mistakes. Through the process of realizing, acknowledging, and changing. Therefore, there is no need to hold on to a light mistake made in youth and suffer for a long time."
Dora finally realized why Mrs. Dalton had brought up what had happened before. It was to help Dora forget the embarrassing mistake she had made.
Dora was amazed. How could she know her so well? Ever since Dora became aware of her foolishness, she had not forgotten that incident for a single day, up until today, her wedding day with Mr. Fairfax.
Every night, she couldn't sleep, reminded of her naive self, foolishly excited with hope. Whenever she heard about Whitefield's news from Mr. Fairfax, she secretly suffered from embarrassment towards Mr. Dalton and guilt towards Laura.
Of course, Dora had put a lot of effort into loving Mr. Fairfax, and she was enjoying great happiness by his side. But a sense of self-reproach was always lurking in one corner of her heart. The more she knew Mr. Fairfax, the more wonderful he was, and because of that, she felt like she was hopelessly lacking compared to her husband.
Did she really deserve to be this man's wife? She often asked herself inwardly, and she could never answer with a definite yes.
Mrs. Dalton knew her heart. And she comforted her, saying it was okay, that everyone lived and grew that way.
Tears rolled down Dora's eyes.
Mrs. Dalton calmly took out a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it to her. Dora wept quietly, not collapsing into sobs, but calmly shedding tears. It was the appearance of an adult who knew how to restrain herself.
Soon she calmed down and returned the handkerchief.
"Mrs. Dalton, I can't express in words how much I respect you. If I had an older sister like you, I would have come to my senses much earlier."
"It's still early."
"But I realized Miss Pendleton's excellence too late. The same goes for Mr. Fairfax. If I had stayed in my immature days, I wouldn't have even seen him as a man just because he was the second son."
"But you ended up with him. Not many ladies in London are as fortunate as you."
"Won't I be a lacking wife to Mr. Fairfax? Won't I disappoint him and make him regret marrying me? I'm afraid sometimes. I want to make him happy."
"Mr. Fairfax will only become happier day by day because of you. He is so generous and easily satisfied, and you respect Mr. Fairfax. A woman who respects her husband does not easily disappoint him. She will naturally try for her husband. Respect has the power to sustain love longer than burning passion."
Dora nodded. Mrs. Dalton's words would not be mere comfort. They would be wisdom containing truth, like proverbs.
Dora deeply trusted Mrs. Dalton. To her, Mrs. Dalton was no longer just a relative by marriage. She was a teacher in life whom she wanted to trust and follow for the rest of her life.
"Thank you, Mrs. Dalton. So..."
Instead of Dora, who was still reluctant to bring up the past, Mrs. Dalton finished the sentence.
"For coming to the wedding, lending me a handkerchief, and blessing my future?"
Dora gave a pretty smile.
"That's right. Mrs. Dalton. You're all right."
The two looked at each other with warm eyes.
* * *
As the Fairfax couple left for the port heading to Marseille, the guests also dispersed. The Dalton couple also got into their carriage to leave the reception.
As soon as Laura got into the carriage, she leaned her upper body against the backrest.
"Tired, Laura?"
Ian, who was sitting right next to Laura, asked.
"A little."
Laura murmured in a listless voice. It had been a long time since she had been in a social setting, and the fatigue was indescribable. Perhaps it was because she had become accustomed to the peaceful life at Whitefield Hall. The London social scene now felt as suffocating as if her waist was constricted to the limit by a whalebone corset. She felt amazed at herself for having lived in such a place for 12 years.
'Come to think of it, I always suffered from indigestion back then. My shoulders were often stiff too.'
Laura had lived believing that she had a weak stomach all her life. She often got indigestion and her stomach easily burned from spicy food.
But after getting married, she never suffered from stomach problems. However, her shoulder stiffness was still there, not because of stress, but because of her daily translation work.
Laura continued to work even after marriage. She was no longer in a position where she had to earn money for a living, but she felt proud to be doing productive work using her abilities.
Laura's pride was soon Ian's pride. He renovated a large book storage room attached to the library of Whitefield Hall and made it Laura's private study. There, Laura worked, read books, and spent her days meaningfully and happily.
With such a husband, a wife could not help but love her husband. In Laura's heart, her love for Ian grew day by day, surpassing the limit.
"Take a nap. I'll wake you up when we get to the hotel."
He lowered the blinds on the carriage window.
"Then I'll close my eyes for a bit. Just for five minutes."
He silently took off his jacket and covered Laura's upper body. And as he often did when they were alone, he put his hand behind Laura's neck and gently massaged her shoulders.
The muscles that had been tense with tension relaxed pleasantly. Laura smiled at her husband's thoughtful consideration and closed her eyes.
How much time had passed? Laura, who had been dozing comfortably, opened her eyes. Her body felt refreshed. And she also felt a little dazed. It was as if she had woken up from a long nap.
Feeling puzzled, Laura turned to the side. Ian was sitting quietly next to her, thinking about something.
"Ian, how long did I sleep?"
He took out the pocket watch hanging from his vest and checked the time.
"About two hours?"
Laura was surprised and straightened her leaning upper body.
"Oh my gosh, that long?"
"You must be tired. It's been a while since we took the night train."
"You should have woken me up."
"I enjoy watching you sleep the most. I can't miss this opportunity, can I?"
Laura laughed at Ian's playful reply.
She raised the blinds. Afternoon London was slowly being soaked in orange sunset.
"I don't think this is the way to the hotel."
"I told the coachman to take us for a drive. Let's go around for a bit."
Laura smiled and nodded.
Ian extended one arm to Laura. Laura snuggled into his arms as naturally as she could not have imagined a year ago.
As Laura leaned her head against his broad chest, his strong arm wrapped around Laura's shoulders.
His lips pressed firmly on Laura's forehead. Laura felt the touch of her husband's lips as she fiddled with his watch strap.
It seemed like she had felt his lips at least thousands of times since the marriage. But for Laura, it was always a sweet and exciting sensation, just like the first time. Perhaps the day she would get used to this sensation would be in the very distant future. And the day she would become numb would probably...
'It won't come until I die.'
