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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 39
Chapter Title: Cryptic Clues
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“……!”
I stared at Lassa, startled.
‘Does she know I came back to life?’
Without further explanation, Lassa continued.
“You must seize this opportunity with all your might. God wishes to fulfill His will through you.”
She wasn’t looking at me. Her gaze seemed fixed on some distant place.
Her voice, unlike when she had been speaking with Brentian moments ago, was monotonous, as if chanting a spell.
“You must believe in yourself. Do not hesitate to do what you believe is right.”
Then, Lassa’s gaze cleared.
Her eyes, now clearly focused on me, widened as she spoke with firm resolve.
“Stop relying on illusions. It may seem sweet for now, but it is by no means beneficial. It will only make you weaker. You must sever whatever it is that lingers around you.”
“Illusions?”
I wanted to ask what she meant.
I couldn’t understand any of it.
She took my hand and placed it over my heart.
“You must find out what it is for yourself. No one can teach you.”
“I—I don’t know.”
Lassa chided me, as if telling me not to sound so weak.
“You must find out. You must. To survive, you need to be able to see everything clearly. And for that, you must first become strong.”
I was confused.
I must have lost my confidence and dropped my gaze without realizing it, because Lassa grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
Her grip felt a little harsh.
She scowled fiercely, as if telling me to get a grip.
“You are dying.”
“What do you mean…?”
“You must not let death consume you.”
Seeing Lassa and me in such a serious conversation, people kept craning their necks to watch us, curious.
Lassa lowered her voice even more so the others wouldn’t hear.
“I cannot tell you everything. But I can show you a clue. Remember my words.”
Then she let out a deep sigh and patted my shoulder.
“You’ve suffered. You’ve suffered so much.”
Suddenly, her eyes reddened. Her expression was one of pity for me.
Seeing that, I felt a lump form in my throat, though I didn’t even understand what she was saying.
Lassa gave my hand a firm squeeze. “Do not forget the clue I show you,” she stressed, then rose and went to the chieftain’s side.
‘A clue?’
What on earth was she going to show me, and how, and when?
I watched Lassa’s movements carefully.
Lamia whispered from beside me.
“What did she say?”
Another maid next to me also leaned in close, her expression curious.
I shook my head.
“It was nothing. She just congratulated me on my arrival and offered some blessings.”
At my words, they both straightened up, looking disappointed.
I kept a close eye on Lassa, but she, who had just promised to show me something, was now busy chatting with the chieftain and Calius as if she’d forgotten all about it.
‘Did she forget?’
It seemed best to find her later in private and ask for more details.
The chieftain told his people to bring food to serve the guests.
Before long, a basket full of par-cooked goat meat, a meat soup, cheese made from goat’s milk, and corn dough were set before us.
The tribespeople hung a large pot of soup over the fire pit to boil, while simultaneously grilling skewered meat in the heat radiating from the sides of the pot.
They also flattened the corn dough, placed it on a flat, tray-like earthenware dish, and cooked it with embers taken from the fire pit.
Even as I kept an eye on Lassa, I watched the bustling people cook with fascination.
‘So that’s how food is made.’
I had never once set foot in a kitchen in my life.
I didn't know how to cook, and this was the first time I had ever seen raw ingredients transformed into a meal.
‘I thought you just put water and meat in a pot to make soup.’
As it turned out, a lot more went into the soup.
‘What kind of powder are they adding?’
The person cooking kept adding different colored powders from cloth pouches into the soup and sprinkling them over the meat.
They also added things that looked like leaves and blades of grass.
Each time, the aroma of the food changed subtly.
Before Lassa and Calius had arrived, the chieftain had been telling us about their nomadic life.
Just as he’d said that nomads must live without many possessions, the Utar people did not have many dishes.
They brought out all sorts of bowls from their respective *kers* and distributed them, but there were far from enough to go around.
The others had deferred to me, so I was able to hold a proper soup bowl, but not everyone was so lucky.
Some held cups instead of bowls, while others used trays or pot lids.
The cooks generously ladled meat soup into whatever makeshift bowls each person had managed to find.
‘There’s no cutlery.’
I held my soup bowl, following the Utar tribe’s lead, and waited for them to hand out utensils.
But they began to eat without any, holding a meat skewer in one hand and a soup bowl in the other.
‘With their bare hands…?’
Across from me, I saw Calius smile at my bewildered expression.
He demonstrated, as if telling me to copy him, but burst out laughing when I hesitated.
His teasing laughter sparked a sense of defiance in me.
‘I can do it, too.’
I shut my eyes tight and, as if to prove a point, tore a piece of meat from the skewer with my teeth.
The heavily spiced meat had a fragrance and taste I had never experienced before.
Moreover, the sensation of it in my hand was utterly strange.
It was hot and soft, and the powder sprinkled on it made it feel gritty.
‘To think I’m holding meat with my bare hands.’
Having been forced to eat sparingly, my usual appetite was quite small.
But this unfamiliar, new food and the novel way of eating it doubled my usual intake.
Despite my troubled heart from Lassa’s words, my appetite was hearty. It was strange.
As I was diligently tearing into the meat, the cornbread was ready.
‘It’s too flat and looks too tough to be called bread, though.’
Lassa took the basket of bread and personally handed it out to everyone.
“There’s plenty of meat, but not much bread. We don’t farm, so grain is hard to come by.”
The bread, torn into pieces of a suitable size for one person, was given one by one to most of the people sitting in the circle.
The bread in the basket disappeared quickly.
Sure enough, they ran out, and one person was left without any.
It was a knight named Andrew, who was sitting next to Alex.
“There is no bread for you, child.”
Lassa showed him the empty basket.
One of the tribesmen tried to offer Andrew his own bread.
But Lassa quietly shook her head, stopping him.
“Everyone has their own portion.”
Then she spoke calmly to Andrew.
“Do not covet the bread that is not your portion.”
I felt it was unfair for Andrew, who was the only one not to receive any bread when everyone else had. It wasn’t as if he had been greedy.
Andrew smiled awkwardly and said he wasn’t coveting the bread.
“It’s alright, I don’t need any. The other food is more than enough.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Lassa nodded and returned to her seat.
The meal continued at a leisurely pace.
Vanessa, who had stormed out of the *ker* earlier, sheepishly returned midway through. Her nose was red from the cold. Naturally, she must have had nowhere else to go.
The Utar people readily shared their meat soup and skewers with her as well.
Vanessa pouted, clearly displeased at the lack of a proper bowl.
She even frowned upon realizing she had to eat with her bare hands.
However, remembering the embarrassment of her earlier complaints, she said nothing this time and nibbled at her food.
It was then that I clearly saw Lassa have one of the tribesmen discreetly pass her own cornbread to Vanessa.
‘Huh?’
The others, busy eating, didn’t seem to notice.
‘But earlier, she stopped anyone from sharing with Calius’s knight.’
Lassa’s words and actions were full of things I couldn’t comprehend.
My eyes met Lassa’s.
She glanced at the cornbread in Vanessa’s hand and gave me a mysterious smile.
As if to say she had shown me all she was going to show.
* * *
Night came quickly for the Utar tribe.
As soon as the sun set, they assigned sleeping spots, and everyone lay down under blankets made of animal hide.
Surprisingly, our entire party, men and women alike, was told to sleep in the chieftain’s *ker*.
‘Sleeping all together?’
I had somehow managed the meal with my bare hands, but this made even me a little uncomfortable.
I fidgeted, looking at the spot the chieftain’s wife had prepared for me.
To my left were the spots for Lamia and the other maids, and to my right were the spots for Calius and his men.
Just as we had sat in a circle for the meal, we were to lie down in a similar fashion.
‘This is so awkward…!’
As I stood there uncomfortably, Calius, oblivious to my turmoil, patted the spot next to him, gesturing for me to lie down.
“The leather blankets are quite soft and warm.”
“Y-yes…”
I reluctantly sat down.
What else could I do? I couldn’t ask them to build another *ker* for my private use, nor could I kick everyone else out and have this spacious *ker* all to myself.
Once I sat, my hesitant maids also sat down, their faces grim.
We stole glances at the knights, who were taking off their armor and getting ready for bed in their comfortable undergarments.
It was my first time seeing men in just their undergarments, and to see so many of them at once made my face burn.
‘How can they all be so casual about…?’
Just then, Calius leaned on his side and looked up at me.
“Will you keep stealing glances at other men’s undressed bodies with your new husband right beside you?”
