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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 26
Chapter Title: A Misguided Fear
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- Heh, doesn't that obviously mean Sir Leonhart was in love with Lady Adel?
- Eek! I was thinking the same thing! Oh my goodness, what is happening?
- Actually, didn't the entire expedition party know, and Lady Adel was the only one who didn't realize it?
- That's right, that's right. Our Adel can be a little slow when it comes to things like that.
- What kind of crap is that? When did that man ever say he liked Adel? He just said not to misunderstand. Isn't that right, Gnome?
- …….
Thanks a lot for dredging up a memory I was trying so hard to forget, spirits.
‘Actually, I knew it too.’
How could I not know when his face turned red every time he saw me? I’m not an idiot.
‘I was probably the first one in the expedition party to notice.’
But I couldn't accept Leonhart's confession, nor could I whisper words of love to him.
Because I knew this was inside a novel, and I knew the future where I would soon die.
So I pretended not to know.
I acted dense, like an idiot who couldn't imagine anything beyond friendship.
So that in the end, Leonhart could give up on his feelings.
That was all I could do for Leonhart.
“Let’s just sleep some more.”
[Step 3: Adrian headed to the study to complete the proposal.]
‘Luspell won’t be here for a while yet. I’m still not sober.’
[Step 3: Adrian headed to the study to complete the proposal.]
‘I said I’m not sober!’
[Step 3: Adrian headed to the study to complete the proposal.]
…I really want to kill it.
Having no choice, I dragged myself out of bed and had a simple lunch.
Then, as instructed by the directive, I went to the study and reviewed the proposal again.
After concentrating for about two hours, the butler announced Luspell's arrival.
I tensed up.
There was the matter of running into him in front of Charles's Beer last night…
With Luspell, there was a high chance he had sensed something was off.
‘He's definitely going to try and test me. I absolutely can't let my guard down this time. I have to be careful not to make any mistakes.’
I steeled myself and greeted Luspell.
“Professor Luspell, you're here earlier than I expected.”
“The sooner I get here, the sooner I can leave.”
“……”
“Ugh… I don’t wanna do this…”
Luspell was as listless as ever. He openly radiated an air of annoyance.
‘Huh? This isn’t what I expected.’
I thought his eyes would glint as he prepared to tear into me like a hyena the moment he saw me.
But Luspell just sat there blankly, like a lazy sloth.
“Duchess.”
“What is it?”
“May I borrow your bedroom?”
“……Why?”
“I’m sleepy.”
“……Professor Luspell, are you aware that this is a ducal estate?”
“Does the ducal estate not have bedrooms?”
“……”
This was just how Luspell was. He said what he wanted, no matter who he was talking to.
I loved that about Luspell, but at the same time, it worried me immensely.
I was afraid he'd get stabbed one day for it.
‘This is how he usually is… but something feels off.’
After parting ways like that at Charles's Beer yesterday, Leonhart, Owen, and Luspell must have planned something.
So for him to be spouting such nonsense could only be suspicious.
Just then, the image of Luspell lying on the tavern floor, curled up like a caterpillar and fast asleep, flashed through my mind.
That pale face, devoid of any will to live…
My heart sank.
‘Don't tell me he still wants to die? Is that why he doesn't care what I do, or whether Leonhart suffers, or anything at all anymore?’
I observed Luspell carefully, but I couldn't find anything particularly out of place.
‘He'd look so much better if he just cut that hair. It's suffocating to look at.’
I used to think that while Luspell was difficult to handle, he was easy to read.
That's how openly he showed his emotions.
But now, perhaps because his eyes were covered, I couldn't get a read on him at all.
“I’m just so sleepy. I'll only use the bedroom for a little while.”
“You're the one who said you wanted to leave quickly, Professor. Endure it.”
Wait, as I said that, something felt strange.
This is a man who would just go home if he were sleepy, yet he's asking me to lend him a bedroom?
Suddenly, a scene flashed through my mind.
A handful of sleeping pills. *I'll succeed this time.* Luspell, muttering softly as he chewed and swallowed the handful of pills all at once…
Overlaid on that was the image of his face, swinging from a noose.
I shot up as if spring-loaded.
“Did you take something?!”
A terrifying silence fell over the study.
Luspell was silent for a moment before speaking.
“What do you mean, take something?”
“Anything with sleeping agents in it! Tell me! Did you take it?”
“……”
“Did you take it? Did you! Why can't you answer? I'm asking if you took it!”
Luspell, who had been watching me quietly, raised one corner of his mouth and chuckled.
“And what if I did? What are you going to do about it, Duchess?”
“You… you… you crazy bastard, again!”
I grabbed Luspell by the collar and shook him violently.
I was so furious I felt a surge of strength I didn't know I had.
“Are you crazy? Are you?! Wasn't once enough, why would you do it again! Who are you trying to torture! What about the people you leave behind! You irresponsible, selfish bastard…!”
In that moment, I realized.
That what I had done was no different from Luspell's actions.
My choice to leave them behind and embrace death was, to them, no different from suicide.
‘What… have I done?’
I felt the blood freeze in my veins.
“I don't understand why you're so worked up, Duchess. Ah, are you afraid I'll die before the proposal is finished? Don't worry. I adjusted the dose so I'll stay alive until then.”
“……”
“If you understand, then let go of my collar! Ugh! I'm going to die at your hands before the pills get me!”
Luspell snapped in irritation and roughly shook off my arms.
I staggered backward and collapsed weakly onto the floor.
Apparently not expecting me to be pushed back so easily, Luspell's eyes widened.
“D-Duchess! Are you… Hah!”
Luspell, who had rushed over to help me up, gasped as if frightened.
“A-Are you… c-crying?!”
“……”
“Are you hurt somewhere? Did you hit your head when you fell?”
“……”
“Huh? You seem fine, so why are you crying?”
I forced my trembling lips apart.
“Did you… take the pills?”
“……Are you really acting like this because you're afraid I took something?”
“Did you take them!”
Luspell stared at me as tears streamed down my face and muttered blankly.
“What is this, there's someone else who'd cry if I died…?”
“Stop spouting nonsense and just answer me!”
Snapping back to his senses, he took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped my cheeks.
His flustered state was evident in his clumsy movements.
“It was a lie. I just lied to see what you were up to.”
“Really?”
“Why would I collect sleeping pills? I could just cast a sleep spell. I have no intention of dying. For the time being.”
“……”
“No, no! I won't die! I'll live until the day I die, so please stop crying!”
I looked up at the flustered Luspell.
He wasn't on Leonhart's level, but he was still handsome enough to be in the top three among sorcerers…
But his former appearance was nowhere to be found in his sunken cheeks and chapped lips.
The tears that had stopped began to well up again.
“What happened to your face…”
“Hey, what's wrong with my face… Uh oh? Why are you crying again! Ah, you're driving me crazy!”
After rubbing his face frantically, he softened his tone.
“You were shocked because I'm so ugly, weren't you? I'm sorry. I was wrong, so please stop crying.”
“……Get your hair cut.”
“I will. I'll get a neat trim. What else?”
“Gain some weight…”
“I'll eat a lot and get chubby.”
“And take walks.”
“That's a bit…”
“……”
“Ah, ah! Alright. I'll take a walk every single day. Happy now?”
I nodded and cried.
Adrian Ivrante, shedding tears. It was stranger than a demon reading the Bible.
But I didn't know why the tears kept coming. I couldn't stop them no matter what.
“*Sob*…”
“Aah, Duchess, please, have mercy on me…”
Luspell tried to comfort me, but he seemed to run out of energy and eventually just watched.
I don't know how much time passed like that.
When the seemingly endless tears dried up, my reason returned.
‘I must have been crazy. Why did I cry then…? Ugh, I could die of embarrassment.’
It was too late for regrets. I had no choice but to be shameless about it.
Luspell seemed awkward too, letting out a few dry coughs.
“Ahem, um, Duchess…?”
I cleared my hoarse throat. I hadn't even sobbed loudly, but my voice was raspy.
“……What.”
“Your eyes get puffy when you cry, too, Duchess.”
“I'm human.”
“I see that now. I thought you were some kind of witch, but you were human.”
Wincing at the word 'witch,' I deliberately shot Luspell an icy glare.
“What happened today… don't tell anyone.”
“Alright.”
“I'll kill you if you do.”
“I said I get it.”
He answered nonchalantly, then let out a small laugh.
“It's not scary when you say that with your eyes all swollen.”
