Translator: Nox
(33) The Star Festival and the Gray Wolf (5)
“What is your reason for not wanting to return to the embrace of the gods?”
“Pardon?”
“I understand why the Princess wants to die. Anyone in the Princess’s situation would want to die. But I can’t understand why you’re struggling so much to avoid being put in Adelia Hall.”
“……”
“What’s the reason? Is there something I need to know but don’t?”
At the time, I wasn’t in my right mind, so it didn’t occur to me that he would find this part strange.
Of course, there was something he didn’t know. But it wasn’t something he needed to know. At least not right now.
“There’s nothing, Your Highness. I just thought that I, who couldn’t protect anyone and survived alone, wasn’t worthy of returning to the embrace of the gods with my family.”
Floyd didn’t respond to that, but stared at Roxana for a long time before nodding.
“I see. But you’ve changed your mind now?”
“I barely remembered my father’s words and decided to accept my situation. So now I have to do what I can.”
“And that’s laundry?”
“Your Highness said you don’t need swords or shields, so what else can I do?”
Having said that, Roxana recalled his bedroom without a single blanket and added.
“Shall I take care of Your Highness’s sleeping arrangements? So that Your Highness can sleep with a blanket.”
Floyd’s face flushed.
“What are you talking about?”
“That Your Highness slept soundly thanks to me, that I have value in bed…”
“Don’t take a joke seriously.”
“Ah……”
Roxana’s face also flushed. Floyd, bothered by her hanging her head and feeling embarrassed, added.
“It’s true that I slept well thanks to the Princess, but I was joking when I said your Sorceress skills would be useful. Did I look that serious when I said that?”
Roxana tried to remember what expression he had made at the time, but she couldn’t remember well. Seeing her seriously hanging her head and pondering, Floyd laughed loudly.
Floyd, thinking that she looked like a rabbit as she looked up at him, bewildered, said.
“There’s no need to try so hard to remember. The Princess has an unexpectedly quirky side.”
“I’m… quirky?”
“Yes. You’re quirky, Princess. Very.”
“That’s the first time I’ve heard that assessment.”
“Are you offended?”
Offended?
Roxana tilted her head slightly to the side.
If it were the old days, she might have been a little offended. Back then, she had to live with the dignity of royalty so that no one could find fault with her.
But now that she had lost everything, she didn’t care about other people’s opinions.
“No, I’m not offended.”
“That’s a relief. I was worried I’d made another slip of the tongue.”
“Your Highness can make slips of the tongue to me.”
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to see the Princess upset.”
Roxana didn’t know how to respond to that, so she lowered her gaze. Long, lush eyelashes cast a shadow on her eyes.
“What is the reason why you are so kind to me and grant me everything I ask for, but you won’t grant me the request not to call me Princess?”
“Well.”
Floyd looked at her profile, recalling the cheerful girl he had seen in his childhood.
The girl who had unreservedly given her umbrella to someone she didn’t even know, and who had smiled brightly even though she had gotten rained on as a result.
Years later, the girl he met again had become a woman who didn’t smile, or rather, couldn’t smile. Floyd wanted to see her smile as brilliantly as she used to.
“If the Princess wants to do something so badly, let’s go out with me tomorrow. There’s a circus troupe that only comes during the Star Festival, and I saw that they’ve already arrived.”
Roxana was puzzled by the sudden proposal, but she nodded obediently. Floyd, having confirmed her answer, stood up and was about to open the drawing room door and leave, but stopped and turned around.
Roxana was looking down at her skirt with a blank expression, as if wondering what to think.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever considered to be a real princess. So no matter where you are, what you have, or what’s branded on your shoulder, you’re a princess to me.”
Floyd smiled brightly at Roxana, who was looking at him as if asking what he meant, and added.
“Just now, the answer to the Princess’s question.”
+++
After Floyd left, Roxana, left alone in the drawing room, stared blankly at her feet. Her face flushed as she recalled the time when she had been held in his hands and shared warmth.
‘He’s like a storm.’
He harbored flames, but he was like a storm. When dealing with him, she felt like she was caught in a typhoon that couldn’t be dealt with by human power.
She was swept away by his words, attitude, eyes, and emotions without being able to resist, and when she came to her senses, she realized that she had said and done things that she never thought she would do in her life. She was gradually pulled out of the darkness that she thought she would never be able to escape from on her own.
‘A circus……’
Roxana had never seen a circus before.
Whenever a circus troupe visited the capital of the Kanta Kingdom, Roxana wanted to go and see it in person, but she was not allowed. The circus was dark, visited by an unspecified number of people, and the security was weak, so it might be dangerous, was the reason.
One day, she couldn’t stand it any longer and tried to sneak out of the palace with her younger brother, Ranian. Of course, she was caught by the escort knight, Robert, before she even set foot outside the palace. She was scolded severely by her father and promised Ranian on the way back to her room.
-“Someday, when I become stronger than Robert, I’ll definitely take you to the circus.”
In the end, she couldn’t keep that promise.
If she was going to die anyway, wouldn’t it have been better to die while watching the circus she had wanted to see than to be cut down by Lucas’s sword?
‘No, there were many other good things besides the circus. Ranian experienced those things before he left, so……’
She couldn’t possibly think that he had been happy. Her younger brother, who hadn’t even become an adult, had died a violent death, so it was hard to think that he had lived a happy life before he left.
Roxana buried her face in her hands, but she didn’t cry. She just breathed slowly, trying to calm the desire for death that was trying to dominate her again.
I can’t die yet. I have things to do.
As she comforted herself, Petria entered with a knock. Petria was carrying a bundle full of things in both hands.
“Roxana-nim. I bought some clothes.”
It was a lot for a little.
Petria unpacked the bundle and spread the clothes inside one by one on the sofa. They were winter clothes that weren’t flashy but looked warm.
“I was going to go out with you, but you seemed busy, so I went alone. I don’t know if you’ll like them. I don’t have an eye for these things……”
Petria spoke apologetically, but Roxana knew that she had tried. She didn’t have to hear it from Petria to know how difficult it had been to get the money to buy these clothes.
“Thank you. I like them all.”
“I wanted to buy you something better, but I heard that the Grand Duke’s Palace isn’t doing so well financially these days.”
Roxana shook her head at Petria’s apologetic words.
“No, I really like them. So don’t say anything to the Grand Duke.”
Petria lowered her head as if her thoughts had been read. She had been thinking that if she subtly informed Floyd, who carried Roxana around so often, that Roxana didn’t have a proper dress, he might provide a solution.
She had bought the clothes to match the money given by the Head Maid Eldred, so she hadn’t bought any luxurious clothes. Petria wanted Roxana to be able to wear a beautiful dress that suited her, but what was more important now was warm clothes.
She had bought the best clothes among the ready-made clothes, but they were clothes that a noble lady would never wear. Nobles always wanted to be the most special.
“Ah, Petria. I’m going to the circus with the Grand Duke tomorrow.”
Petria, who was organizing the clothes, jumped up when she heard Roxana’s words.
“Tomorrow? Then what are you going to wear? You don’t have any clothes to wear.”
“What do you mean I don’t have any clothes to wear? There are so many here.”
Roxana fiddled with a white dress made of thick fabric among the dresses. It was a plain dress with no patterns, colors, or lace.
“I can wear this.”
Petria’s eyes trembled as she looked at it.
The Grand Duke was going to the circus with a woman for the first time in a long time, and that was the only thing she had to wear.
Roxana didn’t seem to think much of it, but it wasn’t that easy. Noble ladies would also be visiting the downtown area for the festival, and it was obvious what they would think if they saw Roxana next to Floyd in shabby clothes.
‘Of course, our Princess is much more beautiful than those women, but……’
The dress was another matter.
Noble ladies proved their worth with the clothes they wore and the accessories they wore. She didn’t want to see our pretty and kind Princess being ridiculed by other women.
Petria was worried for a long time before confiding this fact to her close maids. One of the maids who had been at the laundry in the afternoon took out a piece of lace from a box she had put under her bed.
“A noblewoman who visited here before left this lace. Wouldn’t it be better to decorate the dress with this?”
The kitchen maid who saw it exclaimed, “Ah!” and brought her box. It contained sparkling beads.
“I used to collect the beads that the children of noble families dropped. I think I can make the hem of the dress sparkle with this.”
“I have a ribbon. Wait, I’ll go get it.”
One by one, they brought out what they cherished, and Petria happily brought the white dress from Roxana’s closet.
Without Roxana knowing, the dress that had been only white began to change little by little. Like the hearts of the Lily Palace employees towards Roxana.
