**Stalker Duchess Episode 21**
**Stalker Duchess Episode 21**
I said it was fine, but truthfully, my heart was far from okay.
The fact that he hated me enough to instinctively try to kill me once he lost his reason.
How long had it been since someone hated me this much?
Whether in my previous life or now as Duchess Serabi, being hated was common, but I still couldn't get used to it.
Even if stabbed a thousand times, it still hurt. ...I'd thought I had no expectations from the Crown Prince at all.
As the Crown Prince turned to leave, he grabbed my collar and spoke in a pained voice.
"...I won't kill you."
"......"
"Even when I hate you enough to want to kill you, I still won't."
"......"
"...I won't kill you. I won't kill you......"
The Crown Prince repeated those words in a trembling, watery voice, barely clutching my collar with shaking hands, head bowed.
It sounded less like words for me and more like a vow to himself.
Or perhaps to the monster inside him.
Inside the Crown Prince lurked a monster that hated me immensely.
One that emerged the moment his reason slipped.
It was probably that thing called 'trauma.'
Even when he lost his reason, the Crown Prince had targeted only me.
Not the Elf Child he'd just met today, nor the Elf God he'd been clashing with full force, but me, standing still.
Perhaps because he'd lost his reason, it was his most honest reaction. Maybe he tried to do what he wanted most.
Either way, staying by his side any longer seemed dangerous.
* * *
The Elf God sent the Crown Prince and me out of his domain, saying he had things to discuss with the Elf Child.
Having finished rampaging, the Crown Prince had collapsed into sleep again, so I was alone.
As I watched bizarre water streams climbing trees—something impossible in the real world—someone approached from behind. It was Crown Prince Raven.
Meeting my eyes, he hesitated for a long while before awkwardly speaking.
"...I, I wanted to apologize for earlier."
Earlier probably meant when he'd lost his reason and tried to kill me.
But the Crown Prince hating me wasn't a one- or two-day thing.
Apologizing now for nearly killing me was ridiculous. It was just an extreme expression because his reason snapped—his contempt and hatred for me were the same as ever.
I'd only deluded myself into thinking things had improved even a little.
"An apology now? You've openly despised me all this time."
At my words, the Crown Prince flinched.
"That's... I didn't know you then! I don't think that way now. If anything, I—"
At his response, I made a blank face before cutting him off incredulously.
"You lived with me for 14 years and still claim not to know me?"
"Because you kept acting so strangely! How could I even approach you when you scared me so much?!"
Were the things Duchess Serabi did to him mere 'strange actions'?
"A good person gets finger-pointed as bad for one misdeed, but a bad person does one good thing and suddenly becomes 'not so bad after all.' After all I've done to you, you still claim not to know what kind of person I am?"
His pathetic thinking ground my teeth.
I already knew his true feelings well.
Hating me to death yet pretending to apologize—what nonsense. It felt utterly repulsive.
If he hated me, he should just let me hate him too. Hating me to death but not wanting to be hated in return—what was that? Twice as cruel.
As I kept reacting hostilely to his apology, he furrowed his brow in frustration and said,
"Why do you twist everything I say? If you have complaints, just tell me!"
"I have no complaints."
"Don't lie. Suddenly acting so cold toward me and you have no complaints?"
"Shall I go back to before, then? Obsessively clinging like a madwoman, sticking like a psycho. Is that what you want?"
"......"
He looked at me with eyes like seeing something utterly alien and unfamiliar.
His pupils trembled, filled with confusion.
"Why did you suddenly change like that? Is there a reason?"
"Just. I realized I couldn't live like this forever."
After hearing me, the Crown Prince fell silent for a long time.
He hesitated before finally speaking.
"You, exactly what am I to you."
Do you like me?
That was probably the unspoken second half.
"Serabi—"
Then, the approaching Elf Child hugged my legs tightly.
Timing ruined.
It was my chance to say I didn't like him anymore and cleanly part ways.
Letting out a deflated sigh, the Crown Prince left us and disappeared back the way he'd come.
After scrutinizing my stiff face for a while, the Elf Child clutched my collar tightly and said in a deliberately serious tone.
"That guy will end up killing Serabi someday."
"......"
"I'm not a prophet, so I can't say for sure, but I can read minds. I can predict people's futures to some extent. Advice for Serabi's sake—stay as far from him as possible, as soon as possible."
"......"
I'd planned to anyway.
But hearing such certainty from a mind-reading elf made me even more resolved to distance myself from the Crown Prince.
* * *
Leaving behind, 'I'll come see you after the adulthood ritual—' the Elf Child returned to their village.
Ah, come to think of it, I still don't know their name.
Even so, to send off someone I'd once considered marrying without even a name.
What a pity.
Because of how we'd parted at the end, I dreaded seeing the Crown Prince's face, so I told the Vice Commander and took a month's leave.
My calculation was that by the end of the vacation, he'd have forgotten our fight. I even prepared my resignation letter in advance.
Growing bored of lounging at home, I was now at the National Library, said to be the empire's largest.
As I pored over magic books whose meanings I couldn't grasp at an empty seat,
"Serabi?"
At the voice calling me, I shifted only my eyes to its owner.
Deep hood pulled low, probably to avoid attention, but I recognized them instantly.
His voice, heard after so long, sounded unusually excited.
Something good must have happened.
As the Crown Prince called me excitedly, gazes from people reading nearby turned our way.
"Lower your voice. This is a public place."
"......"
His face half-hidden by the hood hid his expression, but at my response, he pursed his lips displeased.
I thought he'd leave soon, but surprisingly, he sat beside me.
This might make us look like companions.
I subtly turned my back to him, trying to focus on my book.
As I waited for him to leave while pretending to read, he spoke to me as if we'd been together from the start.
The silent Crown Prince suddenly brought up an out-of-nowhere topic in a low voice.
"...I want to know how to control the dragon's power."
"Impossible."
I replied firmly without even lifting my eyes from the book.
Feeling him gape at me, I sensed he'd forgotten our forest fight?
I didn't know his intentions for suddenly confiding such a serious matter to me, but even at the novel's end, the Crown Prince couldn't fully control the Dragon Magic Power.
The story ended when he was 20, so a mere 14-year-old mastering it was impossible.
Unaware, the Crown Prince bristled at my dismissive response.
"Don't say that so definitively. I'm serious. When I lose reason, I cease being myself."
"Instinct, you mean."
"......"
I replied without looking up again.
After hesitating at my firm words, he spoke again as I delved back into the book, voice trembling like scared of something.
"...Even if that's true, if it happens again, I might hurt you again. I don't want that......"
Knowing it impossible, he whined like a child.
For the first time, the Crown Prince felt exactly his age.
"......"
At that pitiful voice, I finally glanced away from the book toward him.
Why did he look so tormented?
He'd worn a similar expression upon learning he'd wrecked my shoulder.
"......"
'I'll be leaving you soon, so no need to strain yourself controlling your power.' Should I say it straight?
Or comfort this self-loathing child?
No good answer came, so I just focused on my book.
