Previously
Irenia attempts to teach Caesar to read using word cards, only to discover he is already literate and possesses elegant handwriting, a remnant of his royal education. This realization saddens her as she reflects on the cruelty of the Dragon's Curse affecting such a noble prince.
I showed him an illustration of two ducks cradling their egg. It must have left a deep impression on him, because Caesar did not take his eyes off it for a long while.
It was a fairy tale everyone knew, young and old alike. The story of “The Ugly Duckling,” cast aside and mistreated by all, who eventually realized he was a beautiful swan and soared into the sky.
For some reason, that little ugly duckling reminded me of Caesar. Perhaps that was why I had picked it for him.
I had only one wish:
“Yes, Caesar, you too… someday…”
I murmured the words under my breath as I read.
“Someday?”
Lately fond of latching onto the ends of my sentences, he piped up with a question. Yes, perhaps someday Caesar would turn into a beautiful swan, just like in the story.
We needed hope like that.
“Mm, it’s nothing.”
I turned back to the page.
Before long, the tale drifted into the little duckling’s hardships, which soon gave way to a modest adventure.
Caesar threw himself into the story with every fiber of his being.
Whenever the duckling was mistreated, he clenched his fists tight, as if trying to defend him.
He seemed so fond of the tale that I had to read it to him again and again throughout the day.
We went on reading, over and over, until the heavy twilight settled against our windows, fading into pitch-black night as darkness enveloped the room.
“That’s not my son!”
Even the mother duck, the only one he had trusted, abandoned him in the end.
“Look how hideous you are!”
The kind old woman, the hen, the cat—all of them did nothing but torment the ugly duckling.
“What a dreadful sight!”
What had he done wrong?
The ugly duckling wondered, staring at his reflection on the water’s surface.
What was the matter with him?
Was it those unsightly gray feathers? That dark beak?
Yes, everything was wrong with him.
If he could have, he would have plucked every feather from his body. That was how deep his sorrow ran.
“What sin did I commit to be born this hideous?”
Then someone whispered to him:
“No, Your Highness. You are the most beautiful being in the world.”
Yet words like those never reached the ugly duckling’s ears.
“Could anyone in this world ever love a creature like me?”
Of course not.
And so, despising his own existence, the ugly duckling sank beneath the cold surface of the pond.
Yes, who could ever love something so hideous?
Who on earth could?
Who would marry… such a monster?
Who in the world would marry a monster like this!
Sinking to the bottom, the body became tangled in weeds.
Darkness filled everything; cold gnawed at the bone; dampness wrapped round like a shroud.
Horrible—it felt as though insects were crawling all over my skin. Married to a monster like that?
This wedding was supposed to be the most beautiful, the grandest in all the world.
Ah, I must be the most miserable bride on the face of the earth.
I’ll die.
When I die, they will all regret it.
Only then will they pity me.
Even Mother and Father will shed tears at my funeral.
In this royal palace, there was a pond so deep you couldn’t see the bottom.
Yes, I’ll throw myself in there.
Yet the moment I reached the edge of the pond, fear began to creep in.
The black water looked as if it would swallow me whole.
Dying was far too terrifying.
The night air was freezing.
I should at least have worn a shawl. I wasn’t even dressed properly.
If that woman saw me, she would think me a foolish, rash girl.
The chill out here was already bitter enough—how much crueler would the water be?
I hated the cold.
And as those thoughts drifted through my mind, dread suddenly seized me.
What had I been thinking?
Death? How could such a thought even cross my mind?
Yes, I’ll go back.
The instant that crossed my mind, a tremendous force shoved me from behind.
It caught me entirely off guard.
I lost my footing and pitched forward.
Water like ice rushed in over me.
I fought with all my might to get back to the surface.
Yet some unseen force kept pushing my head under.
Who is it? Who is tormenting me like this?
Stop, please.
It hurt so terribly, and it was so frightening.
Despite my desperate struggles, water seeped into my lungs, burning beyond endurance.
I reached a point where I wished it would all just end quickly.
A human life was far too long…
At that very moment, a familiar voice sounded right beside my ear:
“Get up.”
Please, just let me end now.
In the black water, my body went on convulsing.
“I said, stop it. Stop struggling, you damn fool!”
That voice called out to me once more.
This time, sharper and far more urgent.
“Ren, get up.”
That was the voice that hauled me up from the depths.
“Huh, hah!”
My eyes flew open as I gasped for air, mouth stretched wide.
A sharp saltiness stung my eyes.
It didn’t take long to realize it was beads of sweat.
Yet reality still hadn’t set in.
I drew breath slowly.
A gasp filled my chest and an exhale slipped past my lips, and only then did relief begin to settle over me.
The breath I’d trapped broke free all at once.
Like an ancient dam giving way before a deluge.
“Hah, hahh…”
Instinctively, I laid a hand against my chest.
Just as I should have expected, there wasn’t a drop of water on me.
“Ren.”
Then I saw Caesar’s eyes looking down at me.
“Cae… sar?”
Still unable to tell whether I was dreaming or awake, I felt thoroughly disoriented.
“Ah, ah.”
My mind was a blur, and nothing came out of my mouth except faint, nonsensical sounds.
Something felt familiar.
Yes, this had happened before.
Again?
This time, I had dreamt that I was drowning.
What were these dreams?
How could a dream feel so vivid?
“…Is this… only a dream?”
To think this was just a dream?
It made no sense.
There was no way pain like that could be just a dream.
It couldn’t be.
A violent shudder tore through my body as chills washed over me.
Right then, Caesar wrapped his arms tightly around me.
I didn’t know why, but his embrace brought an overwhelming sense of comfort.
Because of that, the falling tears gave way to full, racking sobs.
“I was… so scared.”
I confessed it to Caesar, even knowing he might not understand what I was going through.
Perhaps it was cowardly of me, and cruel besides.
I knew I shouldn’t be like this.
Guilt pricked at my chest.
Yet to push back against this suffocating dread, I had to say something—anything.
“I was so scared, really…”
“I know.”
Caesar gave a soft nod, as though he understood every bit of it.
So I clung to him all the tighter, losing myself in a long, unbroken cry.
“What was that dream? Why is this happening to me?
What on earth is happening to me…?”
Confusion, fear, dread, and bewilderment piled up in my heart, churning into a massive whirlwind inside me.
I felt that current tearing mercilessly at my core.
My eyes, swollen from crying, were a pitiful sight, but I couldn’t stop.
I wouldn’t have lasted if I hadn’t let everything out like this.
I babbled incoherently, words tumbling out in broken gasps and sobs that sounded more like wailing.
Even as I fell apart completely, Caesar went on listening in silence, then said:
“Everything will be fine.”
As he listened, he stroked my back with gentle pats.
I knew he was imitating me—just as I had once done for him.
“Mm.”
“It’s all right.”
Yet his embrace was so unbearably warm, and merely staying in his arms was enough to steady my heart, so I couldn’t help but hug him back. The heat of his body, noticeably warmer than usual, brought immense comfort.
We stayed like that for a time, holding each other in silence, sharing the peace we so desperately needed.
Once I had poured out all the dread and worry inside me, my tears began to dry. Before long, my gasping and crying subsided, replaced by a bashful calm, a heavy hush falling over the space around us.
I was the first to break that silence.
“Ah, you know… I mean…”
“Mm.”
His hand went right on tenderly patting my back, making me feel thoroughly embarrassed. Embarrassed by my face, dry of tears as though nothing had happened at all.
I searched for the right moment to tell him I was fine, to say that what had just happened was nothing more than a passing nightmare that had rattled me for a second.
“I mean, well…”
I wanted to say: I’m all right now.
I pulled back slightly, just enough to leave the width of a lemon between our faces.
Our eyes met.
For some reason, Caesar’s eyes looked deeper today, darker than usual.
“Ah…”
I wasn’t sure why fluster overtook me so suddenly. Perhaps I felt ashamed of having appeared so helpless, like a young child.
Or perhaps it was because I truly was weak in that moment, soft as dough, stripped of all resistance. And maybe that was why I couldn’t resist what happened next.
Caesar’s face slowly closed the distance to mine.
A strange little sound slipped from my lips without meaning to.
“Ah… ah?”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I could feel my heart racing, hammering as though I were sprinting at full tilt.
I could feel his face drawing nearer, inch by inch…
FADE OUT