Previously
The Emerald Palace undergoes a cold transformation as Countess Elvira replaces the staff with silent, efficient servants and elite White Rose Cross knights who act as both guards and spies for the Empress.
I surveyed our surroundings. Broken objects lay scattered across the room, leaving the space in total disarray. Everything bore the signs of violence and despair.
I gave a firm shake of my head. No, this could not continue. Caesar had no place living like this, hemmed in by sharp, treacherous debris. He deserved a brighter, warmer world. He needed one. For only that could truly be called a human life.
So I had to tell myself over and over, trying to believe it, that what we were enduring now was necessary for his sake. He could not spend his entire existence curled up in this cramped darkness. What we were undertaking was an indispensable rite of passage if he was ever to know happiness.
Having made up my mind, I parted my lips slowly.
“Did I… did I frighten you?”
“…Ah…”
The moment my voice reached him, his body cringed violently.
“It’s all right…”
I spoke in a deliberate, measured cadence, keeping my voice steady.
Then I proceeded with what I had planned all along. Slowly, I reached into my bodice and drew out what I had kept hidden there.
“Caesar, come here.”
A faint draft stirred the curtain, parting it enough for a sliver of sunlight to spill into the room for a fleeting breath. The colored jewel embedded in the object caught the light, giving off a dazzling brilliance.
It was the dagger Giovinetta had given me.
When the silver glint struck his eyes, Caesar grimaced. In his hyper-vigilant state, even the faintest glint of light grated against his senses.
A hollow sound like the thrumming of a drum struck my ears, but it was no drum—it was the frantic hammering of my own heart, driving blood through my veins with wild, brutal beats.
The pulse rang so loud that it roared in my ears, as though my heart might burst straight through my ribs.
“…I have thought this through.”
Taking a deep breath, I slowly began to gather up the hem of my skirt. My hands trembled so violently that I could barely keep my grip on the fabric. Even so, it had to be done.
“Ah… ah…”
At last, Caesar lifted his head, but I had no time to study his face. I had stepped into an emergency that allowed no room for hesitation. All my focus narrowed to a single point.
“We don’t have much time… Just for now…”
I began counting down in my head as I eased the dagger from its sheath. Despite its ornate exterior, the steel was terrifyingly keen. Its cold sheen made me feel as if it could pierce my heart with the barest touch. A tremor went through me, and I forced down a dry swallow.
Ten, nine, eight, seven… The count, which had started at thirty, kept dwindling. I clenched my teeth so tightly that no sound would slip past my lips.
I had never imagined I would have to do something like this with my own two hands. Yet there was no other way.
…Four, three, two, one.
“Ah!”
A low whimper escaped me in spite of myself, and the dagger struck the floor with a metallic ring as a searing, tearing pain ripped through my leg.
Caesar flinched, his head snapping up at the sound. But I lacked the luxury of looking at him. All I could manage was to bite down hard on the back of my hand to stifle my cries.
Caesar began to crawl toward me on all fours, slow and low, just as he had on the day we first met. His pace was sluggish, but his intent was plain.
Crimson blood trickled down my calf, heading toward my ankle.
The question that had tormented me the entire time was where to cut myself. I could no longer cut my hands. While gloves could conceal the cuts for a time, they would inevitably be discovered in the end.
That left only my crippled leg. Useless as this body was, it offered one advantage: if my leg were injured, I could claim I had simply taken a fall. No one questioned when a lame person tripped and hurt her leg. Nor would anyone wonder why it pained her, since an ache lingered in it almost constantly anyway.
That was why I had gone without stockings today, preparing myself for this very moment.
Yet all those calculated reasons evaporated under the searing fire trickling down my leg.
“Come… quickly.”
Sensing him draw near, I gathered my skirts higher. There was no hesitation left in me. I squeezed my eyes shut.
The first thing I felt was the pierce of his fangs. I knew he was starved, having gone days without a single drop of blood. My shoulders shook with the shock of pain.
“Ah…”
Tears welled and spilled from my eyes under the raw sting. His warm breath washed over my skin, so close that consciousness nearly slipped from my grasp. The wet sounds of his feeding were agonizingly clear. Cold sweat beaded along my brow, then flushed hot in an instant.
I wept in silence. If tears could have washed away the pain, I would have let them pour endlessly. ‘This is nothing. Truly, it’s nothing,’ I kept telling myself.
“Ah!”
A fresh bolt of agony struck me, as if punishing my foolish optimism. His fangs tore deeper into the cut, sharpening the torment.
Yet I could not let myself cry out. The watchful knights stationed outside might storm the room at the slightest hint of trouble. I had no choice but to bite back every sound and swallow my tears.
My breath grew thin and ragged until I could hardly remember how to draw air. I parted my eyelids slightly and looked down at Caesar, the tears gathered on my lashes rolling down my cheeks.
The sight before me was jarring. The prince of the empire was bowed low at my feet. Or rather, a young man of my own age was lapping at my leg.
It was an utterly bizarre sensation. Were it not for the sharp pain, I might have found it mystical, or even strangely intimate.
I had never imagined another human being would touch this part of my body. People had always flinched from even brushing against me, and I had spent my life hiding this tainted, imperfect leg.
Yet he was touching it. He needed me. He had come to me with pure, desperate hunger. And that single realization made the pain bearable.
His throat moved steadily as he swallowed my blood without pause. I reached down and stroked his hair with gentle fingers.
“C-Caesar…”
My voice came out thin and hoarse, strained and trembling. At that, he slowly lifted his head.
“L-let’s stop here.”
“Stop?”
The word rolled from lips stained vivid red with my blood. Yes, we had to stop. I nodded firmly.
“It hurts.”
“All right.”
Despite the answer, he lowered his head and licked at the streak of blood trailing down toward my ankle. The motion was agonisingly slow, sending a shudder straight up my spine.
“No, really, that’s enough…”
I tried to draw my leg back, but I couldn't move. Caesar's grip on my ankle was iron-tight. I had to change my approach, so I pressed my hand more firmly against his crown.
“Are you feeling better now?”
“Better?”
His expression looked far calmer than before. Yes, it seemed he was.
“Then you're all right now, aren't you?”
I urged him again to stop. Even so, Caesar kept staring down at my leg with longing. The bleeding had already ceased, so long as he did not sink his teeth in again.
“Mmh…”
He seemed torn for a moment, but his decision was quickly made.
“Caesar!”
He had no intention of listening to me at all. Once more, he lowered his head, intent on pressing close.
I quickly slapped a hand over his mouth.
“I told you… stop.”
Naturally, no words could escape through his covered lips. Only his hot breath rushed across my fingers in faint tremors, followed immediately by the warm, wet press of flesh against my palm, startling me into lifting my hand.
“Oh, heavens…”
Now Caesar turned his attention to licking the center of my palm, as though nothing else in the world mattered. His tongue traced the joints of my fingers one by one until I could hardly gather my thoughts.
“Stop, Caesar, that tickles.”
He truly was an uncontrollable husband. With that relentless tongue still at work, I had to reel his attention back in.
“You know…”
When I called to him, he seemed to listen a little more attentively than before. So I decided to tell him what we would be doing soon.
“Three months from now… we are going to attend a ball.”
“A ball?”
I had not expected him to fully understand, but I kept explaining in a quiet tone. I told him we would be going to a banquet hosted by the Empress.
“It will be fun. There will be lots of delicious food… and so many people, too…”
“Fun?”
At that, Caesar offered a faint smile and pressed his forehead against mine. To him, it seemed, ‘fun’ meant having his forehead stroked.
“Yes, it will be fun… very much so.”
FADE OUT