Chapter 38
This too would be an insufficient explanation for him. Nevertheless, Calyx remained quiet. He listened intently to Lottie’s words, holding even his breath.
“That is why trusting people is difficult for me. Just as Your Highness said you were clumsy at apologizing.”
“…….”
“If my remarks earlier offended you, I apologize. But I truly had no intention of making Your Highness uncomfortable. Please, believe at least that much.”
Her light green eyes cautiously searched Calyx’s face. Her eyes were slightly reddened, as if a bit of dust had just flown into them.
Calyx gazed into those eyes.
“Young lady…… sometimes you seem like a mysterious being who has lived decades ahead of your time.”
It wasn’t the first time this sentiment had occurred to him. When was it?
In her bedroom, seeing those light green eyes confronting Padrick—that was the first time he’d had that thought.
He felt a fleeting sense of strangeness, thinking her emotions were far too bruised and heavy for a girl who had just turned twenty.
She was like deep water, its bottom impossible to discern. This woman.
Transparent, beautiful water.
He found himself captivated, standing still and peering into the depths, yet no matter how long he looked, he could not see the end. Every time he looked, there was something new.
“It must be a nonsensical delusion. Since such a thing couldn’t actually be possible.”
Calyx added with a smile. Lottie let out a breath she had momentarily forgotten.
“I believe you. Whatever the young lady says.”
“…….”
“In that sense, an interesting plan has occurred to me. Would you like to hear it?”
His attitude was strangely confident for a plan that had supposedly just come to mind.
Then again, had there ever been a time when this man lacked confidence? Lottie smiled inwardly and nodded.
“I have a plan too. Shall we see whose plan is more nonsensical?”
“Very well.”
“Then I’ll go first.”
Taking a long breath, Lottie scrunched her nose playfully.
“I am going to inherit my family’s title. Not as someone’s wife or mother, but in the name of Charlotte May Evanshire.”
“……!”
“As long as the Royal Family does not give up on Dempis, threats against me and my family will continue to happen. I will uncover the truth of exactly what they are after, and I will protect my home and my people. This will never change.”
Lottie finished firmly. Calyx was silent. He seemed frozen in shock once again by her radical declaration.
Just as she was about to lighten the atmosphere by saying she thought she’d won, Calyx spoke slowly.
“Your family will support and cheer for your firm resolve, but they will likely be unable to accept a declaration that you will not marry. They will worry about their young daughter being left all alone after they are gone.”
“Even so, I won’t bend my will. No matter who I marry, as long as my heart is set, that marriage will surely end in misery.”
“May I tell you my plan now?”
“Of course,” Lottie nodded. She was momentarily distracted, trying to gauge what kind of plan could possibly top her announcement of inheriting the earldom.
“I am going to propose. To you.”
She couldn’t react properly to a declaration she hadn’t even imagined.
She could only stand there, her eyes and mouth hanging open stupidly.
“A proposal…… did you say? I clearly…….”
“Clearly rejected me before. I know.”
Even while mentioning that bitter past, Calyx’s smile was gentle.
“However, the young lady said it just now. You and I are as good as allies with a common goal.”
“…….”
“The conditions I offered when I first proposed to you—do you remember them?”
Lottie nodded haltingly. How could she forget? Those proposals that had been so terribly sweet.
“I will add one more condition to them.”
“…….”
“Whenever the young lady wishes, I will grant you a divorce.”
From afar, the sound of fireworks exploding in succession could be heard. Bang. Bang.
“Use me to your heart’s content. For the sake of your dream.”
Behind the faintly echoing explosions, the man stood smiling softly.
She understood exactly what his words meant. He was saying he would act as a shield so that her elders wouldn’t pressure her into an unwanted marriage.
On the day she was recognized by her elders and inherited the title, he would step down of his own accord for the sake of her complete celibacy. In a manner of speaking, it was a contract marriage.
“But…… Your Highness has been sentenced to exile. Not only can you no longer stay in Matila, but more importantly, my father knows your face…….”
“…….”
“Far from permitting us, Father will surely report you first. Saying that the deposed Crown Prince, who should have been exiled to Trie, is wandering around Matila as if it were his own home.”
Lottie spoke with conviction. A look of genuine concern was on her face.
Because she was a woman whose reason preceded her emotions even in such a sweet moment, Calyx had no choice but to swallow a laugh.
“I cannot explain in detail as there is no time, but…… I will prepare thoroughly so that what you worry about does not happen.”
“Your Highness…….”
“I will surely return. To your side.”
When he spoke those last words, there wasn’t a trace of his usual smile. Each syllable was distinct.
Lottie knew he did that to instill confidence in her. So, she had no choice but to believe.
“By doing so…… is there any benefit for Your Highness?”
“…….”
“Why…… why go this far for me…….”
Her voice trailed off.
There’s no way. You approached me for the purpose of tearing Padrick down. That’s how it should be. Until the very end.
“You said you dream of artificial flowers.”
Calyx slowly parted his lips. Because he knew his counterpart would be confused, every word was careful.
“I was afraid I would become a mad bee circling scentless artificial flowers. I knew it was a desire that would eventually destroy me, and I tried to stop. I thought I could. It was arrogance.”
Calyx paused for a moment. He forced a smile. He hoped his weakness wouldn’t appear as contemptible or loathsome to her.
“I yearn for you. I support your dreams and ideals. I hope that I can be of even the slightest help to you.”
Just as you saved me from a solitude deeper than death.
“So you……. Even if everyone else in the world does, I only ask that you.”
“…….”
“That you…… please do not hate me.”
Because he had been betrayed by a love that was like life itself, he was telling her he didn’t care if he was used instead. I won’t even ask for love, so please.
“This is benefit enough for me.”
As if leaving all judgment to her now, Calyx looked at Lottie with a gentle face.
When their eyes met, he smiled. It was a look so intense it felt like it might burn.
Another explosion was heard. Bang. Bang.
The sound of fireworks spreading softly overlapped with an old memory.
In her first life, it was the sound of bombardment she had heard in that cold, small back room in Fulton.
— Sister-in-law.
— If I let you go alive, what if you run to that fellow and confess everything you saw and heard?
The man who had shot and killed her without hesitation was standing before her. Along with a tender whisper asking her not to hate him.
— What is meant to happen will happen.
She knew. She knew how conveniently she was using those words.
If she believed that what happened in the past would happen exactly the same in the future, then she had to eventually accept her marriage to Padrick, and the future where Calyx Valdea became a tyrant and killed her.
“No matter what decision I make…… Your Highness will accept it as it is, won’t you.”
“…….”
“I refuse.”
Calyx smiled briefly. It was a bitter smile, though he had expected it.
Before he could even reply, Lottie’s words continued.
“Proposing marriage out of the blue. You’re moving far too fast.”
“Moving…… fast?”
Even while thinking his expression must look quite foolish, Calyx could only ask back.
The outlaw, who never acted as predicted, continued in a clear voice.
“Let’s start with dating. A contract relationship, on the premise of marriage.”
Perhaps all of this was an impulsive decision made under the magic of the social season.
Just as her marriage to Padrick had been, she might regret this deeply in the far future.
She still didn’t know if he was reaching out his hand solely out of a heart that supported her, or if he had other intentions.
But the undeniable fact was that he was the only person in the world who believed in and supported the lonely path she intended to take.
That presence was so intoxicatingly sweet that even if the price of a hasty judgment was ruin, she did not want to shake off his hand at this moment.
“……Do you dislike it?”
When no answer came one way or the other, Lottie asked back. Her voice was noticeably smaller than when she had been making her bold declaration earlier.
Snapping back to his senses, Calyx laughed as if exhaling a sigh.
“How could I dislike it? It’s just that it’s my first time hearing the term ‘contract relationship’.”
“To be honest, I just made it up on the spot too. Whatever the expression is, what does it matter? The fact that the purpose is to trick the elders remains unchanged.”
“I see.” After Calyx’s reply, a strange silence descended.
Lottie, looking at Calyx awkwardly, suddenly realized the reason for the silence.
‘What…… am I supposed to do next?’
Her last romance was ten years ago. Furthermore, because that had been rushed through to marriage like lightning, it was embarrassing to even attach the ticklish word ‘romance’ to it.
She had seen her maternal cousins exchanging letters with their lovers when she was young, but it wasn’t a memory that would be helpful in this situation.
“Even if it’s a contract relationship, it’s a contract in name, so we should put a seal on the contract.”
The partner she’d decided to hold hands with was making a silly joke in the midst of this. As Lottie narrowed her eyes, Calyx shrugged nonchalantly.
“I am a person with plenty of experience in the former. As for the latter’s domain…….”
A meaningful gaze landed on Lottie. Realizing his implication, Lottie’s face flushed bright red.
