Ch#80
2023.11.19.
"Of course, as you say, I'm busy, but from now on, I'll make time more often. After all, you're not just anyone—you're family."
Herdin let out a scoff at the word "family" slipping from Ivan's lips.
Come to think of it, this family had a peculiar obsession with the word "family." They treated it like a collar fastened around a disobedient dog's neck.
He was sick of that word.
If it weren't for that damned "family," his wife wouldn't be going through this now.
It was laughable how they had burdened Blair with guilt simply because she was family, yet now clung to her desperately, calling her family.
Oblivious to his thoughts, Ivan set down his teacup and asked,
"Do you like chess?"
"Thinking about it, I haven't played since childhood."
"Then let's dust off your skills after so long."
Despite Herdin's unenthusiastic response, Ivan insisted on summoning a servant to prepare the chessboard.
The thrill of tension against a worthy opponent and the precarious victory at the end made the game enjoyable.
But since Cassian's death, Herdin had long lost interest in chess, lacking a suitable rival.
"You go first."
Ivan, who had lived as crown prince and now Emperor, must have rarely lost at games.
Beating him would only stoke his competitive spirit, so Herdin planned to lose just enough.
Once Ivan realized he wasn't a proper opponent, he wouldn't suggest such a trivial game again.
The game proceeded exactly as Herdin intended.
As Ivan gained a moderate lead and grew relaxed, the main topic finally emerged.
"Have you heard the rumors circulating?"
"That the Duchess was kidnapped, the mastermind is Her Imperial Majesty the Retired Empress, and the reason ties back to the incident ten years ago... Is that the rumor you mean?"
"Yes. That rumor has been giving me quite the headache lately."
Ivan pondered his next move while continuing,
"Even if it's baseless gossip, I can't just let it tarnish the Imperial family's authority."
He then placed his chess piece with a casual air and commanded in a leisurely tone,
"You clear it up."
"What exactly would you have me clarify?"
"That Blair's kidnapping had nothing to do with our mother."
Herdin sneered at Ivan's words.
"...It seems you're not curious whether the Duchess was truly kidnapped or who was behind it."
A normal brother, if he had any sibling affection at all, would worry about his kidnapped sister first.
Yet he acted as if the Imperial family's well-being and his own face were all that mattered.
Though he had anticipated it, the realization still fueled his anger anew.
"She's your wife now, so you'll handle that well enough."
Ivan replied to his point without a hint of discomfort, then went a step further.
"While we're at it, make your stance clear on the incident from ten years ago. Isn't it ridiculous that it's still being brought up now that we're family?"
"......"
"If you clarify it, there'll be no more annoying rumors, right?"
Herdin's lips twisted at Ivan's words. To him, the incident from ten years ago was apparently just a laughing matter.
His intention to lose moderately changed.
"In my opinion, proof is needed more than mere clarification."
With that retort, Herdin moved his chess piece. It struck Ivan's knight without hesitation.
The knight that had been dominating the board, devouring Herdin's pieces moments ago.
Ivan froze at the surprise attack.
Just one move, and suddenly a sense of crisis hit, as if the entire game had flipped.
"Everything in those rumors is true."
Their eyes met over the quiet chessboard.
Herdin continued calmly, even seeing Ivan's hardened expression.
"Of course, I think Your Majesty could plausibly be unaware. It's hard for a son to suspect his mother."
"......"
"Soon, I'll bring evidence convincing enough for Your Majesty. I hope for your fair judgment once again."
At that moment, the faint toll of a clock announcing the hour echoed from afar.
It seemed time to end the conversation.
"It looks like Your Majesty has won the game. I have other matters and must take my leave—may I have your permission?"
Herdin assumed Ivan would let him go easily.
But contrary to his expectation, Ivan relaxed his stiff expression and brought up something else.
"If your claims prove true, it'll be a debt owed to you as a son. I'll issue a fitting judgment. For now..."
He tapped the chessboard with his finger, then stopped as if struck by an idea.
"You should divorce Blair first."
At the unexpected words, a subtle crack appeared in Herdin's hitherto bored eyes.
"It was a marriage born of my greed from the start. If your claims hold, the Imperial family becomes Delmark's enemy, so we can't leave the union intact."
"......"
"Wouldn't the late Empress, buried underground, be heartbroken seeing her cherished niece married to the enemy's daughter?"
Ivan's words seemed considerate at a glance, but his scrutinizing gaze gleamed coldly.
"Delmark's internal sentiment isn't favorable toward her anyway. I wouldn't feel at ease leaving her in a place full of those who resent her."
"......"
"No child between you yet, so it can end cleanly without fuss."
Herdin scoffed.
It was laughable coming from Ivan. If public opinion toward Blair truly concerned him, he shouldn't have proposed the marriage in the first place.
Thus, the reason Ivan brought it up now was...
"As for Mother's disposition, we'll discuss it after seeing the reliable evidence you mentioned."
To threaten him, obviously.
In other words, divorce Blair if you don't want this buried.
"You may go now."
Herdin rose and turned away.
A late spring breeze carrying floral scents brushed past him. As his heated head cooled, rational thought returned.
Rationally, Ivan was right.
Once Esmeralda's false accusation was cleared, Blair would be undeniably the enemy's daughter.
If Ivan demanded divorce to atone for Katrina's sins, there would be no reason to maintain the marriage.
'Wasn't that what I wanted?'
It had been foreseen from the moment he accepted this sham contract marriage. Merely the timing arriving sooner than the promised year.
Uncovering the truth of the incident from ten years ago was his long-cherished wish. He couldn't let a mere one-year contract marriage sway him.
Then why was he hesitating?
'Why on earth.'
What was that woman to him?
Herdin roughly loosened and tore off his cravat, as if it choked him.
The question, unanswered to the end, lingered in his mouth.
* * *
Clouds had gathered since sunset, and as the sun set, heavy rain began to pour.
"Wow, the rain's coming down hard all of a sudden. We can call it a summer rain now."
Lina, brushing Blair's hair before the vanity, glanced out the window and remarked. Blair, watching the rain lashing the panes, agreed.
"Indeed."
"But Madam, did something upsetting happen today?"
"...Does it seem that way?"
Blair looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her expression was no different from usual.
"...No reason it should."
Today was the day I'd been desperately awaiting.
"Maybe it's the rain?"
"Probably."
As Blair smiled and replied, Lina dropped the subject.
Finishing the brushing, Lina bid her goodnight with "Sweet dreams" and left the bedroom. The grandfather clock chimed ten as the door closed.
Herdin hadn't returned yet. He seemed intent on coming home late, just like in her previous life.
Blair crouched before the door, ear pressed to it. Then, she gently caressed her still-flat belly.
Soon, she'd meet Asiel again.
Of course, ten more months to wait, but just confirming the child was safely growing inside would bring relief.
Thinking she'd soon hold the child again made all her hardships fade.
Even being abandoned by Katrina, the guilt over the incident from ten years ago—all of it.
Yet why wasn't she purely happy?
She found the answer to that inexplicable doubt when she heard footsteps approaching from beyond the door.
Realizing they were Herdin's, her heart began to pound.
Only then did she realize.
That tonight would be their last night together.
After this night, she'd have to sort out these emotions constricting her heart.
Listening briefly to the rain pounding painfully against the window, Blair finally opened the door and stood before him.
"...Herdin."
Herdin, walking more slowly than usual, spotted her and stopped.
A scoff escaped through his teeth, faced inescapably with the answer to the question he'd been avoiding.
Now he knew why he couldn't let her go.
It was love, after all.
