Chapter 56
Episode 56. The Words He Wants to Hear
2023.10.26.
Too weak even to smile properly, Blair leaned her head against the wall.
Her body, frozen by the encroaching cold, no longer felt chilly. Far from it—it felt feverish. Drowsiness washed over her simultaneously, her consciousness fading.
In that moment, amid the eerie quiet that now felt cozy, she sensed her own death approaching.
‘……Herdin.’
Pathetically enough, she wanted to see him.
Just as she could no longer cling to her fading regrets and tried to let go—
The cabin door creaked open, and he appeared. Uncharacteristically disheveled.
“……Blair.”
Ah…….
Why do you always appear whenever I'm on the verge of breaking?
* * *
“Blair!”
Herdin strode to the unconscious Blair and scooped her into his arms.
Though still spring and her clothes not too thin, she lacked the warmth any living person should have. Like a corpse.
His heart plummeted.
“……Blair, don't fall asleep. Pull yourself together.”
But the eyes that had gazed at him moments ago remained shut, unmoving. Ripples stirred in his blue eyes fixed on her.
Herdin wrapped Blair in layers of his own coat and the knights', then spurred his horse swiftly from the forest.
At the darkened forest entrance lingered only the imperial knights Ivan had dispatched upon hearing the news, and the Delmark knights Herdin had summoned.
He ordered one of the waiting Delmark knights.
“Return to the residence first. Have the physician on standby, and light the fireplace in the bedroom.”
As he boarded the carriage with Blair in his arms, it departed at once.
Herdin couldn't bring himself to set her on the opposite seat. He had to share his warmth this way, or the woman in his arms might truly die.
That couldn't happen.
He still needed her.
Herdin removed his gloves and pressed his hand to her icy cheek. Even through the gloves, her skin had felt warmer than this.
Buried in so many layers, yet still.
Checking if she breathed, Herdin slipped his hand beneath the clothes to find hers. Even amid the bundled heat, her frigid hand was easy to locate.
Gripping it, he noticed her small fist clenched tightly around something.
Likely held since before losing consciousness in the cabin.
Herdin carefully pried it free. His eyes shook violently upon recognizing it.
What she had clutched desperately even as death neared: a battered lighter.
‘No way.’
Dreadful foreboding overwhelmed him.
Pressing it slowly, a flame flickered to life.
“……Ha.”
A hollow laugh escaped Herdin.
His wife could have avoided this entirely. If only she'd lit this lighter and preserved her body heat.
She could have warmed herself by the fire until he found her, waiting unscathed. Yet…….
All because of that damned trauma? She nearly died for that?
For something so trivial.
……Because of me.
Herdin crushed the lighter in his fist, grinding his teeth.
Placeless rage drifted through the quiet carriage.
* * *
Aides had no duties at the Hunting Tournament.
Thus, Russ—who had idled all day at his residence—raced to the ducal estate upon thunderous news.
The attending physician emerged from Blair's bedroom, examination complete.
“Your Excellency, may I enter?”
Entering, a wave of heat hit him. In the warm room's center bed lay Blair.
Her pallid, coughing face made even Russ's heart sink. Herdin alone kept vigil beside her.
Ripples of fury in his blue eyes gazing at her deterred approach—anger that might swallow him too.
Hesitating before the unstable man, Russ stepped closer. Before he could ask, Herdin spoke first.
“……Her body temperature dropped severely. A little later, and it would have been dangerous.”
“Is she stable now?”
Herdin stared at the sleeping Blair before replying languidly.
“Probably.”
“They said she was lost. How did it come to this?”
“Precisely, she was kidnapped but escaped.”
Russ's expression hardened at Herdin's account.
“Kidnapped? Who would dare……!”
“Who do you think?”
Instead of answering, Herdin posed a question.
Russ pondered briefly before deducing easily.
“That Baldwin Marquisate bastard?”
“If you and I think alike……”
“Filthy rat……”
Russ muttered unwittingly, glancing at sleeping Blair before clearing his throat awkwardly.
“He wouldn't have acted himself, then. Did you catch the kidnapper?”
“No. Finding Blair took priority.”
The man tasked with her kidnapping had likely been killed by Wesley first.
He knew that yet let it slide. To maximize knights searching for Blair.
But he had no intention of letting it pass quietly.
“What about evidence?”
Herdin pulled something from his inner pocket and tossed it to Russ.
“That's your task from now on.”
Russ caught it deftly. His eyes sharpened at the item in hand.
He pocketed it.
“I'll find the answers you want as quickly as possible.”
With Russ gone, only Herdin and Blair remained. Her occasional coughs echoed in the quiet room.
Herdin watched her silently.
Save for the coats removed from her and his gloves shed in the carriage, he remained in his outing attire.
Grass-stained and uncomfortable from scouring the forest, yet he couldn't leave the fireplace.
Keeping silent vigil, he drew something from his pocket: the battered lighter she'd clutched desperately.
Click.
Herdin idly flicked the lighter open and shut repeatedly. The clicks resounded in the quiet room.
Staring blankly at the sound he made, he stopped the meaningless noise.
He loathed this stifling silence filling the space alone.
* * *
Deeply asleep, Blair struggled to open her eyes. It was warm—overly so. Layers of blankets covered her.
Her unfocused eyes blinked slowly. Turning her head, she saw a familiar face.
Herdin slept uncomfortably, arms crossed, slumped in a chair. Still in Hunting Tournament attire, hair disheveled.
The room-filling fireplace heat answered for him. Why he slumbered here unwashed.
Blair sat up and took his hand.
“Her—”
Before she could wake him, Herdin's eyes opened first. Their gazes met.
Herdin unconsciously gripped her hand tightly. Ripples stirred in eyes that rarely wavered.
Pausing at his demeanor, Blair spoke first.
“I'm sorry, Herdin. For causing trouble.”
“…….”
“I'm fine now, so go rest comfortably.”
As she spoke, gently withdrawing her hand, a faint tremor ran through her fingertips.
Brief surprise at her regained consciousness faded from Herdin's eyes, turning icy once more.
Why, even now, was her first words an apology—pushing him away?
With a face that could collapse any moment, why never once lean on me?
I'm scared, it hurts, I'm exhausted…….
Not even those words, not a moment's vulnerability—does she refuse to show me?
“Is that all?”
At Herdin's question, Blair blinked. His eyes seemed angry, but she couldn't fathom why—or what he wanted to hear.
Gazing at her, Herdin sighed softly and continued.
“We're investigating the kidnapper's backer. It will be revealed soon.”
His mention of the kidnapper widened Blair's eyes.
He hadn't been there, nor had she spoken of it—she assumed he'd think mere straying.
Thus, she'd planned to handle it alone.
“……Rest.”
Herdin stared briefly before rising to extinguish the fireplace and leave.
Blair lay back, seeking sleep. But it evaded her. The fireplace was out, yet heat lingered; blankets warmed her.
Closing her eyes summoned kidnapping memories, body trembling. Safe now, no fear—yet it reacted.
Exhausted from the ordeal, yet sleep wouldn't come.
After endless tossing, she noticed someone enter the quiet room—thanks to the lighter's click.
Even the room's master slept; only one could enter unbidden at this hour.
