Chapter 31
Episode 31. I Want to Do It Now
2023.10.01.
‘What do I do…….’
The next day, it was the first thought that came to Blair’s mind upon regaining her senses. Recalling the previous night’s events made her head spin with how to handle it.
She wished she remembered nothing at all, but fragments lingered, mocking her.
Going to the balcony alone to sober up and running into Wesley, Herdin appearing and striking him.
And after leaving the balcony with Herdin, her memories were patchy.
She didn’t recall their exact conversation, but she remembered he had desired her. The kisses and touches they shared too.
Then suddenly, he had pulled his lips away and distanced himself, and nothing after that remained. She had no memory of returning to the duke’s residence.
But one thing was clear. She had shown an unseemly side of herself before Herdin.
‘I shouldn’t have drunk so much yesterday…….’
Blair sighed deeply, hanging her head. Her face reflected in the clear bathwater.
She regretted it, but it was irreversible. It was something they had to face sooner or later. Thus, she had no choice but to confront it head-on without fleeing.
‘I need to apologize properly face-to-face.’
Blair had no talent for evasion or brazenness.
One lesson from her lifetime was that confronting honestly was better than half-hearted dodges.
Resolved, Blair left the bathroom and headed to the dining room. It was nearly noon, so Herdin had already finished eating and was attending to work.
Blair sat alone in the dining room for her meal. She wasn’t one to eat quickly to begin with, but today her pace was even slower.
She planned to apologize to Herdin afterward, but that didn’t make it pleasant. She did it only because taking the scolding first eased her mind.
Blair even ate dessert usually reserved for tea time before standing before Herdin’s office.
Gazing tensely at the door, she took a deep breath and knocked.
“Herdin. Do you have a moment?”
After a brief wait, the door swung open instead of a verbal reply. Russ had opened it.
“Hello, Madam.”
Seeing Russ’s face reminded her it was work hours, a fact she had overlooked.
So consumed by the need to apologize quickly, she had forgotten something so obvious.
Blair felt a bit embarrassed by that.
“Sorry. I was distracted and forgot it’s work time. It’s not urgent, so I’ll come back this evening.”
“No! It’s fine. Please speak freely.”
Russ, suddenly granted a break, grinned widely. As he turned to leave the office, something occurred to him, and he glanced back at Herdin.
“Ah, by the way. What shall we do about the Baldwin Marquisate matter? I think it’d be best to pay them off quietly and end it.”
Blair flinched at the name ‘Baldwin.’ It was the family of Wesley, who had harassed her the previous night.
From Russ’s words, it seemed Wesley, beaten by Herdin yesterday, had stirred some unfavorable public opinion.
“No, just leave it be. He deserved the beating.”
“Won’t it get noisy if we do?”
“If you stuff that mouth with money, it’ll bark even louder next time.”
Russ looked puzzled by Herdin’s decision. It wasn’t wrong, but hardly the wisest solution.
Yet his lord’s command was always absolute.
“Understood.”
Russ bowed to Blair and left, leaving only Herdin and Blair in the office.
Blair gazed at her husband leaning obliquely against the desk.
The woody scent surrounding him and the faint cigar smoke from the just-extinguished one enveloped her. The fragrance she had loved in her past life.
As she quietly took in the scene, Herdin’s gaze shifted naturally from the closing door to Blair.
“Fortunately, no hangover, it seems.”
His face was its usual impassive mask, but to Blair, his eyes felt like those interrogating a criminal. Owing to her guilt.
Blair hesitated briefly before asking.
“Did the Baldwin Marquisate say something about yesterday?”
“A bit of noise, but nothing to worry about.”
Herdin seemed unconcerned, but Blair bit her lower lip firmly.
‘Because of me…….’
She didn’t want to be a sinner before him anymore. She wanted to be aboveboard.
Yet she had become his burden once again. Her heart felt heavy as if lead had settled in it.
“Yesterday…… I showed an unsightly side. I’m sorry.”
“Do you remember everything from yesterday?”
Blair paused at Herdin’s question. It was embarrassing to say she did, but regrettably, she had no talent for lying.
“……Bits and pieces. Meeting Sir Baldwin, you saving me too.”
Instead of a lie she was bad at, Blair chose evasion. But Herdin didn’t miss the gap.
“And after that?”
Unable to reply, Blair averted her gaze slightly and pressed her lips shut.
Watching her, Herdin straightened from his lean. Already imposing while leaning, his height grew even more upon standing fully.
He strode over and stood before Blair.
“That’s the important part.”
He whispered in a low voice, grasping her hand.
“What we talked about, what we did.”
His thumb stroked the soft inner flesh of her wrist. As if to remind her of last night.
The spot his hand brushed burned like fire. Simultaneously, the hazy memories of last night sharpened.
His lips on her inner wrist, the hot, wet tongue slipping between her fingers, his gaze devouring her, and…….
Even the confused emotions felt then.
Reading from her wavering eyes that she recalled last night, Herdin asked.
“The words that I could have you if I wanted. Were they sincere?”
He asked once more. To confirm she hadn’t spoken carelessly in her drunken state.
Blair quietly looked up into Herdin’s cool blue eyes gazing down at her as they had last night.
This man desired her. That was all. Mistaking instinctual desire for love and getting hurt was enough from her past life.
She no longer clung to him.
Unlike before, she no longer yearned for his love, and having no expectations meant no wounds.
Unlike her past wish to spend eternity by his side, she was prepared to vanish from it anytime.
Yet fleeing here would prove to herself she still harbored lingering feelings.
With conviction and stubborn pride in herself, Blair nodded faintly.
“……I’ll prepare and wait tonight.”
Herdin’s face twisted momentarily at her reply. As if wounded.
But soon, he wore a crooked smile. Though surely the answer he wanted, his expression oddly seemed angry.
“I want to do it now.”
“Then, to the bedroom―”
“No, here.”
Blair didn’t comprehend at once, or rather hoped it wasn’t what she thought, and looked at Herdin.
Even in her past life, before conceiving Asiel after marriage, they had shared intimacy countless times in under half a year, but never in the office.
He hadn’t allowed her out of the bedroom to begin with.
Yet he confirmed her understanding by lightly lifting her as if it were so.
Blair, blinking blankly in shock at the suddenness, came to her senses seated on the office desk.
Miscellaneous items and documents once on it now littered the floor haphazardly.
Only then accepting reality, Blair looked at Herdin before her.
He gripped the desk on either side of where she sat, caging her with his large frame. Raw desire swirled in his eyes meeting hers.
He was serious.
Blair panicked a beat late and pushed away Herdin as his lips neared hers.
“Not here. This is the office, and it’s still daytime……”
“This is my office, and I want it now. Isn’t that enough?”
Previously rambling about contracts and offering herself fully if he wished. Now endless reasons why not.
Herdin seized Blair’s hand pushing his shoulder. The feeble resistance only stimulated him further.
No, not just her gestures—her gaze, voice, breaths, her entirety provoked him. Thanks to last night’s drunken ‘someone’ stirring his desires with a bewitching face.
The lust tormenting him all night strained taut like a bowstring ready to snap.
“That’s…… Ah.”
Herdin devoured Blair’s lips as she tried to retort. A polite yet unequivocal refusal to hear objections.
In her startled blinking eyes appeared his cool pupils.
Their gazes tangled with those unfathomable depths, her head tilted back, and hot breaths intertwined deeply.
Unable to withstand him lunging as if to consume her, Blair’s body kept crumbling backward.
Herdin wrapped an arm around her back. Seemingly supporting her, but truly to prevent escape.
“Haa……”
When Blair finally pushed him away breathless, her back and chest felt cool. He had undone the buttons at her back in the meantime.
The disheveled state exposed glaringly in the sunlight was indecent. Moreover, his lingering gaze appraising her like that shamed her.
