I Married the Dragon I Killed
Chapter 47
The Dragon Knight Armor revealed itself in the moonlight.
Standing two meters tall, it was adorned with menacing decorations designed to intimidate any foe.
Yet, to Ferda, this armor—which he had seen more often than her bare face—felt like a part of Valdrova herself, and he found he could love it as such.
He had hoped to encounter Valdrova in this form, even if by chance, but the reality was different than he had imagined.
Bewilderment outweighed his joy.
Have I gone mad with desire and started seeing hallucinations?
Just as the thought crossed his mind, she came to a halt before him.
“…….”
“…….”
Silence stretched between them as they stared at one another.
After a long stillness, it was Valdrova who finally broke the silence, her voice hesitant.
“So, that is, um, well…”
She squeezed the words out as if painstakingly picking pearls from a seabed.
“I wanted… to take a walk… so I came out.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, indeed!”
Ferda knew it was a lie.
However, to him, that didn’t particularly matter.
Valdrova replied and then fidgeted with her neatly folded hands.
Clink, clank.
The steel of her gauntlets ground together, creating a metallic din.
She seemed restless. Was she uncomfortable because they had run into each other so suddenly?
Then, she finally spoke again.
“A-actually, that’s not it!”
“Pardon?”
“I knew… that Ferda-ssi was coming out… so that’s why I came out!”
“Is that… so?”
“Yes.”
She let out a sigh of relief, as if she had just confessed a sin held deep within her heart.
Ferda didn’t mind.
She had come looking for him, knowing he would be alone in the hallway.
That was all that mattered.
It meant she had come here because she wanted to see him.
‘She wanted to see me.’
Now that he was conscious of it, his heart fluttered needlessly.
Had he brushed his teeth?
Did his clothes smell?
He had been leaning over a single candle in a sealed room; perhaps the scent of smoke had clung to him.
But such worries were fleeting.
Ferda belatedly remembered the most important thing and bowed his head.
“I greet the Archduke Valdrova.”
“Ah, yes, welcome, um… Ferda…. Ferda….”
Her voice trailed off as she called his name.
The blurred words, failing to find an ending, echoed like a mournful cry—perhaps due to the voice modulator built into the helmet.
“Do you wish to call me Regent?”
“Ah, right, that! Regent!”
She clapped her hands, her voice brightening with color.
“Yes. Regent Ferda. I really wanted to try using that title. That’s what they call the King’s fiancé, isn’t it?”
“Actually, that’s… no, yes, that is correct.”
He stopped himself from correcting her.
He couldn’t bring himself to touch that shining innocence; to do so would only stain it.
“Then, should I call you Regent from now on?”
“There is no need for that. It is a term used only in official settings. When we are alone, please feel free to call me Ferda.”
“Ah, I shall do so, Ferda… ssi.”
Ferda, Ferda….
Valdrova repeated it several times inside her helmet as if practicing.
It felt as though she were whispering directly into his ear, making them itch strangely.
“I wanted to see Ferda-ssi again, but strangely… I couldn’t find the courage.”
“I understand.”
Ferda empathized quietly.
Had her feelings grown that much as well?
“Um… the reason I came like this was because of Ruri.”
Apparently, that wasn’t it.
“You mean Ruri?”
Valdrova nodded.
“It seems Ruri has been having a very hard time lately.”
Ferda recalled rejecting Ruri’s request to attend.
The last time he saw her face, she had been angry.
“I don’t think I’m very good at discerning emotions, but I know her sad face well. She… she is definitely sad right now.”
Her helmet turned toward Ferda’s face.
“If anyone knows why she’s struggling… I thought Ferda-ssi might know….”
Ferda’s lips merely parted and closed.
It was difficult to speak.
Knowing he was the cause, how could he say it?
Would she hate him if he told her the truth?
Yet, in the end, he told her.
“That change is likely my fault.”
“Your fault, Ferda-ssi?”
“Ruri requested to attend the Grand Council with me, but I refused. That is the only factor I am aware of.”
“Why would she… want to go there?”
“She said she wanted to speak with the Silverwind side.”
Valdrova’s body flinched.
But then, she nodded lightly as if she finally understood.
“If it’s just for a conversation… couldn’t you take her with you?”
“Because it is a futile hope.”
“A futile hope?”
“The actions that attendant intends to take are no different from scratching at a scab. If you scratch a part that hasn’t healed, the flesh tears away again and the wound reopens. It is exactly like that.”
“Ah, that… that is very painful.”
“Yes, it is very painful.”
Valdrova nodded slightly as if empathizing.
She wrapped her arms around her own biceps.
“But that futile hope… might it not be so futile?”
Valdrova ended her sentence with a tentative question.
“Silverwind still harbors a grudge.”
“I know that too. But… it might be different for Ruri, don’t you think?”
“Do you believe things will be resolved just by talking?”
“At least she would have a place to return to.”
“Return?”
At Ferda’s question, she seemed to realize her slip and spoke solemnly.
“Ah, Ferda-ssi might not know. She isn’t my spawn; she’s a Silver Dragon’s spawn.”
“Ah….”
“She has been so loyal to me that such a misunderstanding is possible.”
“Yes….”
He had known that from the beginning.
Ferda was only surprised by the mention of her “returning.”
“Dragon spawn are families bound by blood. To Ruri, her family is the spawn of Silverwind.”
“Are you saying Ruri should return to the bosom of her family?”
“Is there anything more precious than family?”
A precious family.
It was a subject too alien to Ferda.
He had been tormented by his family and ultimately abandoned by them.
The root of Ferda’s desire for revenge was his family, and he had eventually paid them back for everything they had done to him.
And now, with all those emotions resolved, he simply didn’t care anymore.
But what about Ruri?
Ferda didn’t know what Ruri thought.
Ruri cherished Valdrova.
However, that might be insignificant compared to the bloodline that connected her to Silverwind.
This could be her chance to sever her ties with Valdrova.
Perhaps that was why she hadn’t appeared until the future Ferda ripped out Valdrova’s heart.
“Ruri might wish for that, but…”
Ferda looked up at Valdrova and asked.
“Is that what you wish for?”
Instead of answering immediately, she turned her head toward the sky.
Her hands resting on the railing curled into small fists.
It was not an easy thing.
“I am the one who kept her bound here. If there is a way for her to return… I must let her go.”
“…….”
“And….”
Valdrova looked down at Ferda.
“Don’t I have a proper fiancé now?”
An indescribable tightness gripped Ferda’s chest.
It made him question a matter that had already been settled.
Should he really take Ruri to the Grand Council?
Finally, Ferda made his decision.
“I understand.”
“Will you take Ruri?”
“Yes. Since you have spoken, how could I refuse?”
“Ah, yes, thank you.”
She nodded her head in a daze.
As one topic concluded, a heavy silence threatened to settle back in.
“The Grand Council….”
Valdrova carefully kicked that silence away.
“I’ve only ever heard that it’s held; I didn’t even know what happens there.”
“Are you curious?”
“I’m very curious. It’s a place where all races gather to talk for the peace of this continent, isn’t it? One can’t help but wonder what kind of stories are exchanged in such a place!”
Valdrova’s helmet snapped around to look at Ferda as she asked.
“If Ferda-ssi returns, could you tell me the stories of what happened there?”
Though she was hidden by the helmet, he could tell what she was anticipating.
Like a child listening to the tale of a Hero gathering under the light to defeat the darkness.
Like a field of pristine snow piled high in the middle of a cold winter.
It was a dazzling innocence.
“The stories may not be pleasant to hear.”
“W-why is that?”
A hint of bewilderment touched her voice.
Ferda realized he had made a mistake.
But the milk was already spilled.
It was too late to stay silent or make excuses.
So, he told her the truth as he knew it.
“They are not people who tell such convenient stories. They are merely busy looking out for their own interests.”
“Is that how it is?”
“Yes. So please, do not hold too high an expectation.”
He finished the difficult sentence.
Valdrova stared down at him silently.
What kind of expression was she making?
Was she dazed with her mouth agape in shock?
Or was she moved to tears, unable to bear the emotion?
“Ferda-ssi….”
The reply that came back was the calm voice of a woman, devoid of dampness.
“Do you know what it was like when Godwin rose up to destroy this world?”
There was no way he could know.
It was an event from 150 years ago—an era even Ferda’s grandfather hadn’t lived through.
“When Godwin threw the world into chaos, we were the first to give up.”
“The dragons?”
Valdrova nodded.
To Ferda, it was a story that didn’t evoke much emotion.
But if a scholar from Escoleia had heard this, the academic world would have been turned upside down.
Valdrova seemed to realize her slip and covered her mouth.
She looked around needlessly and then whispered cautiously.
“Everything I’m telling you now is a secret, okay?”
“I will take it to my grave.”
“Anyway… in that era, the answer they came up with was that compromising with chaos was the most ideal solution. Even the long-lived races like the Dwarves and Elves were all in a mood to accept that compromise.”
But that hadn’t happened.
If that compromise had been made, the East would not be a land spewing filth, driven back to the edges of the continent.
“But only one race refused.”
This was a part Ferda knew as well.
“The humans were the first to stand up.”
She folded her hands neatly and pulled them to her chest.
“Because they did not compromise, because their swords did not forgive the darkness, they realized there was still hope for the continent. And because of that, peace returned to this land once more.”
Ferda understood in his heart what Valdrova was thinking as she soaked in the memories of those days.
It was respect.
Dragons and humans.
Long-lived races and short-lived races.
Immortals and mortals.
Humans might respect and revere dragons, but it was unheard of for a dragon to respect humans.
Yet, Valdrova was different.
“Even if they are blinded by greed now, they will fight for the sake of the world at the most critical moment. So….”
Valdrova’s head lowered slightly toward Ferda.
The red armor bathed in moonlight shone with true nobility.
“I shall love them.”
It was then.
A chemical reaction occurring in his mind led Ferda into an unknown territory.
The helmet crafted in the likeness of a dragon’s head…
The image of the delicate woman hidden inside began to appear before him.
In her eyes, hope resided.
And that hope was wearing a smile.
“Ah.”
Ferda let out a foolish exclamation.
It felt as though he were soaring high in the sky only to plummet straight down.
The impact of falling from the infinite heavens was beyond measure.
“Ferda-ssi?”
“…….”
“Are you alright? You’ve gone quiet…?”
Valdrova hovered anxiously, checking Ferda’s complexion.
Ferda, who had been staring at her silently, opened his mouth.
“Just once.”
“Yes??”
“Could you show me that noble countenance just one more time?”
“N-noble countenance? Uh, you mean my face…??”
“Yes. Your face.”
Ferda’s hand instinctively reached toward Valdrova’s helmet.
Valdrova jumped back in surprise, guarding her helmet.
“N-no! I, uh, I can’t show you my face yet!”
“I beg of you. Please, just once more, to me….”
“I-I told you no!? Don’t come any closer!”
As he took a step forward, she took a step back.
It was Valdrova who broke the chain of a chase that felt like it would last forever.
“I’m sorryyyyy!!”
With her apology, she vanished into the darkness.
All that remained was the warmth where she had stood.
Intoxicated by that warmth, Ferda, his face flushed as if with fever, stared blankly at the spot where he had last seen her.
A breeze blew in through the open window.
It was woefully insufficient to cool Ferda’s heat.
He looked up at the moon again.
A full moon.
But in his burning heart, there was no room for thoughts of his mother to squeeze in.
Unlike the beginning, however, there was nothing to worry about.
The emotion nestled in Ferda’s chest was swirling a vibrant red.
