Chapter 44
#44
Ricardo, sitting across from me, was silent.
I didn't press him for his business either.
Between us, there was only silence, floating in the air like dust, and the fragrant scent of Darjeeling tea.
The silence wasn't uncomfortable.
Ricardo and I had a long-standing relationship, and we knew how to spend time in the same space, each in our own world.
"...The fruit is sweet."
Finally, breaking the long silence, Ricardo spoke for the first time.
At his words, I quietly looked at the fruit plate.
Knowing that Ricardo didn't like sweets, I had specifically told Panya to prepare fruit that wasn't too sweet.
Blue apples, grapefruits, and tomatoes were arranged on the plate.
Which of these could he possibly be eating and calling sweet?
"I haven't seen you at the orphanage much lately, have I?"
Realizing that what he said was strange even to himself, Ricardo subtly changed the subject.
"I've been a bit busy."
My words, accompanied by a smile that implied, 'You know I'm a busy person,' were a lie.
The noticeably reduced number of invitations and greeting letters had left me with plenty of free time.
I simply didn't go out because I hated hearing the whispers.
Besides, visiting the orphanage in the midst of all this would only make me seem hypocritical, so I didn't go.
"I see."
Whether he was fooled by my lie or just pretending to be, Ricardo nodded and reached for his teacup.
"......"
"......"
After taking a sip of tea, Ricardo fell silent again.
He stared intently at the teacup with a thoughtful expression, then glanced at me, and when our eyes met, he subtly looked away, gazing out the window.
"Bianca."
"Yes."
'He's finally going to say it,' I thought, and took a deep breath.
I won't be surprised. And I won't waver.
Even if he questions or criticizes me.
Or even if he brings up the annulment.
"...What did you have for breakfast?"
Suddenly asking what I had for breakfast... really?
"Are you asking about breakfast?"
"Yes."
I blinked at the unexpected question.
Had Ricardo ever asked me such a question before?
No.
Was Ricardo a gourmet with a deep knowledge of food?
No.
Had he ever worried about whether I was eating well or skipping meals?
Absolutely not.
"...I had an apple and a little bit of egg."
"That's all?"
"I don't usually eat much for breakfast."
"It's better to have a hearty breakfast. And a balanced one. You should at least have a piece of bread and some nuts. It would be even better with milk or cheese."
For a moment, I thought my childhood nanny had come up from her hometown.
The nagging nanny who always told me that Miss Bianca was perfect in every way, but her only flaws were her picky eating habits and small appetite.
"Is that what you came here to tell me? Advice on a balanced breakfast?"
"That's... not it."
Of course, it wouldn't be.
I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him, knowing he had something to say but was having trouble bringing it up.
What on earth is he trying to say that he's being so hesitant?
Could he really be planning to bring up the annulment?
It was a story he had said he would never allow, so it would naturally be difficult for him to bring it up himself.
"Is there something you wanted to say?"
Knowing that Ricardo had something to say, the silence between us was no longer a comfortable time.
In the end, I broke the silence and asked him directly.
"Ah, that's......"
Ricardo, who had opened his mouth to say something, closed it again when he met my eyes.
Then, he blinked repeatedly, just looking at me.
He opened his mouth once more as if to say something, but only swallowed air and closed it again.
And watching him, I felt frustrated.
It would be better to just get it over with quickly, why is he being so hesitant!
"Ricardo......"
"Bianca."
It was the moment I called his name, unable to bear it any longer.
Ricardo, who had been looking out the window, finally looked straight at me.
"Yes, please speak."
"No, you go first."
"You go first."
"I'm fine."
"Alright. I'll speak first."
After several back-and-forths, I finally decided to speak first.
"Ricardo."
"Yes."
"If you have something to say, say it quickly."
"Was that what you wanted to say?"
"Yes."
Ricardo frowned slightly, but I was confident because I had only opened my mouth to urge him on.
"You don't have anything else to say to me?"
"No, I don't."
"...Okay. Then I'll say what I have to say."
Even after saying that, Ricardo didn't speak right away.
He made eye contact with me, opened his mouth once and then closed it again, let out a shallow sigh, and then made eye contact with me again.
This time it was real.
I could see the determination to finally speak in his serious eyes.
And I, too, clenched my fist under the table, out of Ricardo's sight, determined to show him an unwavering appearance once again.
"Bianca, I believe you."
Ricardo's eyes didn't blink for a single moment.
His black eyes called my name, said he believed in me, and continued to look at me even after he had finished speaking.
With eyes that never wavered.
"You believe me?"
"Yes. I know what rumors are going around right now."
"And even after hearing all those rumors......"
"You wouldn't do such a thing."
Ricardo cut me off firmly, as if there was nothing more to hear.
"How do you know?"
My hand trembled.
The hand that had been determined not to waver no matter what he said, had been trembling from the moment it heard Ricardo's words, which were completely different from what I had expected.
"Even though you were indifferent to me."
"You should say it correctly. 'Were' indifferent to me."
Ricardo corrected my expression like a grammar teacher, in the past tense.
"In the past... yes, if it were the old me, I wouldn't have been sure. I might have had someone investigate whether the rumors were true. Because whether it was true or not, I couldn't put someone with such a scandal in the position of Duchess Wincaiser."
That was only natural.
A duchess who committed murder? What nonsense.
"But it's different now. I know you, Bianca. You're not someone who would kill someone, and the rumors circulating in the world are just nonsense."
Ricardo concluded in an unwavering voice.
The rumors were just nonsense.
"To be honest, I wish you had told me first."
"Told you what?"
"That it wasn't true. I wish you had told me first that you wanted me to believe you."
"......"
"Yes. It's just my greed, really. I know that someone as proud as you would never say such a thing first. But I wished you would. Then I was going to say that I believed your words."
I had never been able to know what Ricardo was thinking. And I thought I would never be able to.
No matter how much I looked into those unfathomable black eyes, I thought I would never be able to read his inner thoughts.
But now I realized how to know what he was thinking.
"Still, I wanted to tell you that I believed in you. It may not be important to you, Bianca, but it was important to me."
It was just a matter of talking.
It was just a matter of asking.
What are you thinking right now?
What we lacked was not beauty, money, fame, or power. We had those in abundance.
It was 'conversation'.
Now it wasn't just my hand that was trembling.
My lower lip was trembling slightly. The legs neatly gathered inside the dress were also trembling.
Perhaps even my heart, just a little bit.
"I'm glad you said that."
At Ricardo's honest words, I could no longer wear a false smile and lie.
So, I very honestly told him my answer to Ricardo's words to me.
And I smiled.
It was a smile that came naturally because I was happy that he had said that to me, happy that he believed in me.
The moment I smiled, the look in Ricardo's eyes, who was sitting in front of me, wavered for a moment. He even seemed a little embarrassed.
His slightly opened mouth did not close again this time, but remained open.
"Ricardo?"
"Ah... Ah ah......"
Thinking that something might be wrong, I called his name, and only then did Ricardo close his mouth.
And like a thirsty person, he stuck out his tongue and moistened his lips, and bit his lower lip tightly with his teeth.
If he was thirsty, he could just drink the tea in front of him.
"Just now, that smile."
At Ricardo's words, my face stiffened slightly.
The smile from before was not the smile I had learned from childhood until now.
It wasn't the one I had practiced in front of the mirror to look elegant, pulling up the corners of my mouth and showing my teeth very slightly or not at all.
Because it came out without me realizing it, I had no idea what my lips looked like, what my eyes looked like.
I couldn't help but stiffen my face, wondering if my face looked strange or distorted.
"Was there something strange about me?"
"What? Ah, no! What I mean is... what I wanted to say was, it was beautiful."
It was truly a novel experience.
Being told that I was beautiful was something I had heard constantly since I was a child, and it was stranger on days when I didn't hear such stories at gatherings.
So, being told that I was beautiful was common to me, and it wasn't something that would make me feel particularly happy.
"It was the most beautiful Bianca I've ever seen."
Yet, when Ricardo said that and smiled, I was happy.
Ricardo, saying those words, was wearing the warmest smile I had ever seen, and he looked handsome.
I couldn't bring myself to say even that much honestly.
