Chapter 38
#38
"Ah! When I came today, Ricardo was also here. Ricardo is teaching swordsmanship to the boys here."
As if noticing I was looking at Ricardo, Maria turned around, glanced at Ricardo, and then kindly informed me again.
I already knew that.
"So, the children who finished the class and the other children were all playing together. Ricardo too."
"I see."
"Would you like to join us, Bianca? It's fun to play children's games after a long time."
Maria readily extended her hand.
"Wow! Let's play together, Young lady!"
Lara, excited, tugged at my skirt.
Play together? Over there?
Even though Lara pulled at my skirt, I couldn't bring myself to move.
Does she want me to sit on the ground now? Wearing a new dress?
Besides, playing together probably means doing that unidentified running thing from before, so does she want me to run now?
"Ah, no. I……."
It was impossible.
It would be easier to win a riding competition or go to a violin competition and win.
I had never officially entered a competition, but I was skilled enough.
But I couldn't sit on the dirty ground or run around undignifiedly.
I couldn't even imagine showing someone a sweaty appearance.
It was truly impossible.
"Heeing~ Aren't you going to play with us, Young lady?"
Lara looked up at me with a very dejected face, as if disappointed.
"The children would like it if you were with them, Bianca."
"No. I think I'll have a cup of tea with the headmaster."
Maria also repeatedly suggested it, as if she was sorry, but I shook my head.
"Ah! The headmaster is not here right now. She went out to meet someone who does architectural design."
"Is that so? Then I'll just give the children the presents I brought."
"Presents?"
As if the word 'present' caught her ear, Lara's eyes sparkled.
"Yes. Can you write Bianca Crofort now?"
At my words, Lara blinked. And suddenly, she subtly avoided my gaze.
She still can't write it, I guess.
"Can't you write it at all?"
"I, I can write Bianca, but I still can't write Crofort."
I found it difficult to understand that she still couldn't write or even read Crofort properly after so much time had passed.
I clearly memorized all the alphabets on the first day I started studying with the tutor, and the next day I wrote not only my name but also the names of all my family members and deceased grandparents.
But apart from that, Lara, with her shoulders slumped, was so cute.
"Then I brought a gift of encouragement for studying hard."
Originally, it was a gift I brought thinking she would naturally be able to write Bianca Crofort, but I disguised it as a gift of encouragement.
When she can write Crofort perfectly, I can give her another gift.
"Wow! What is the gift?"
"First, you have to wash your hands and then receive it."
"Ah! It's something delicious!"
At the words that she had to wash her hands, the clever child smiled brightly and deduced that it was something to eat.
Indeed, Lara was definitely incredibly smart. Could she be a genius?
She seems a bit lacking in reading and writing, but still, she seems incredibly smart?
"Then shall we all wash our hands and eat the delicious thing Bianca gave us?"
"Yes!"
Lara answered loudly to Maria's words.
"I'll take the children to wash their hands."
I nodded lightly at Maria's words. And when Maria took all the children away, an unexpected situation remained.
The front yard, which had been noisy until just now, became quiet, and only Ricardo and I were left there.
"……."
"……."
We just looked at each other for a moment without saying anything.
It was awkward.
I knew that this awkward silence was not because it had been a long time, nor because we had nothing to say. We weren't usually seeing each other often, nor were we having many conversations.
It was the first meeting after the last uncomfortable conversation. It was also a sudden meeting in a place I didn't even expect to meet, without any mental preparation.
"Panya."
Unable to bear it any longer, I turned my head. Panya, who was standing in front of the carriage full of cupcakes and cookies, hurriedly approached at my call.
"Yes, Young lady."
"Have the cake carried inside. So the children can eat it after they wash their hands."
"Yes, I will."
I nodded and watched Panya return to the carriage. I didn't necessarily have to watch, but I did.
Because if I turned my head again now, Ricardo would be standing over there.
Then it would become awkward again.
"Bianca."
I prayed that Maria or Lara, or other children, would come out quickly as it was, but it was a low voice that found me first.
I thought about pretending not to hear, but I thought it was cowardly.
"Yes."
When I slowly turned around, Ricardo was indeed standing there.
He was wearing comfortable clothes as always when he came here. The white shirt had the sleeves rolled up, and instead of tightly constricting the neck, several buttons were unbuttoned.
"It feels like it's been a while since I've seen you."
"It does."
"……."
"The children aren't coming out quickly."
"Ah, the tap here isn't that big. They're probably washing their hands in line."
"I see."
"……."
And then there was silence again.
Ricardo's gaze, which had been looking at me, fell down every time he blinked.
"It seems like you're uncomfortable because of me, so I'll go first."
Those were the words that came out of Ricardo's mouth, who had been looking at the floor for a while.
"No. I'm not uncomfortable."
With a light smile, I tried to brush off his words.
I was uncomfortable, but I didn't want to show that I was uncomfortable because of you.
"I'm uncomfortable."
But unlike me, Ricardo very lightly said that he was uncomfortable being with me.
The moment I heard those words, I frowned without realizing it.
I was trying to endure as much as possible even though I was uncomfortable, out of consideration for him, but I resented that he wasn't trying to endure even a little for me.
Of course, I knew that this was a selfish thought. Consideration and kindness are something you give yourself, not something that comes out of coercion.
But likewise, isn't it a natural feeling to resent the other person?
"Are you saying that you're uncomfortable being with me?"
"Yes."
"Really? Is it because of what happened last time? Because of what I said?"
"Yes."
"If you're so uncomfortable, you shouldn't create opportunities to be with me in the future."
At my words, Ricardo frowned this time.
"Are you talking about the broken engagement story from before?"
"Oh my, you have a good memory."
"Don't be sarcastic."
"I was praising you for having a great memory, but I don't know why you think I'm being sarcastic."
"Then, according to my excellent memory, I seem to have rejected that broken engagement?"
Ricardo said, not just frowning but glaring at me.
Of course, I became even more angry looking at him like that.
He's uncomfortable and doesn't like being with me, but he can't break off the engagement?
Ricardo was the one who was completely selfish.
Besides, what was that scene from earlier? He was having so much fun with Maria?
For a moment, I thought a scene from the previous version of the book was unfolding before my eyes.
I almost thought that the incarnation of that Ricardo, who was having a life-threatening love affair with Maria, had appeared in front of me.
Yeah. He cheated on me with another woman, and he's frowning like that just because I said something he didn't like?
"Why are you suddenly glaring at me?"
I was speechless. He glared at me first!
"Yeah. I don't care if you glare at me or not. The engagement can't be broken."
"Why?"
"Why? Do you have another man to get engaged to after breaking off the engagement with me?"
"If I did, would you break off the engagement?"
"What?"
The flames of anger flared up again on Ricardo's face, which seemed to have calmed down a bit.
"You're saying you have another man……."
It was the moment Ricardo took a step towards me with a distorted face.
"Don't fight!"
A childish voice echoed loudly from afar.
Startled by the loud noise, both Ricardo and I looked in that direction.
"L, Lara?"
"Don't fight!"
As if she wasn't out of breath, the child shouted loudly once again while running.
"Ricardo oppa! Young lady!"
Lara, who had run over in an instant, looked back and forth between Ricardo and me with a very stern face.
I remembered that expression from before, so when I tried to recall it, it was that expression from before.
"You have to get along well, is it okay to fight? Huh?"
With her small, chubby hands on her hips, she was making a very scary face in her own way, but in fact, it was an extremely cute face.
It was Lara's 'you rascal' expression.
"We weren't fighting."
"Yeah. We didn't fight."
We made excuses like that, even though we were almost there.
"Liar."
But it didn't work on Lara.
"Now, quickly make up. Shake hands, shake hands!"
Looking back and forth between Ricardo and me, Lara gave that order.
Apparently, they make the children shake hands when they fight in the orphanage.
But Ricardo and I weren't children here, we were adults.
Despite Lara's order, we didn't readily extend our hands, and we just looked at each other with stiff faces.
"Tsk! See, I knew you were fighting!"
Looking at us like this, Lara shook her head as if she couldn't live with it and sighed.
"Now, quickly shake hands! Make up!"
As if she couldn't stand to watch any longer, Lara's small hand grabbed my hand.
I could have shaken it off as much as I wanted, but there seemed to be some kind of magic in this small hand, so I couldn't bring myself to do it. And it seemed that Ricardo was the same.
"Now, shake hands!"
"……."
"……."
Eventually, our two hands touched each other, and we awkwardly overlapped each other's hands as if we were barely holding them.
His hand was large and slightly lukewarm.
Unlike my delicate and soft hand, I could feel rough calluses through the palm of Ricardo's hand.
"Now, next is a hug!"
"What?"
"Lara?"
Surprised by the following order, Ricardo and I looked at the small mediator.
"You have to hug and pat each other on the back like this!"
"Lara, that's difficult……!"
I tried to calmly persuade Lara.
And I was trying to let Lara know that reconciliation is not just made up of physical parts.
But I couldn't.
"Oh, good job. That's right. Make up quickly~."
I couldn't hear Lara's voice very well, as if she was proud of herself.
It was because Ricardo suddenly hugged me tightly.
