Translator: Nox

How to Survive the Horror Novel I Wrote

Chapter 20

My shoulders twitched with a start. I wanted to avoid talking about the publisher if at all possible. It was like stirring up a hornet’s nest—I wanted to avoid any topic even remotely related to Mun Seongwon.

Yet, now that Ugeum had brought it up first, there was no way out of it.

“Why did you go?”

When I asked reluctantly, Ugeum answered as if he had been waiting for the question.

“That book you lent me. The Night Series. When I read it, it was really interesting. The content felt just like a true story, too.”

His words had a sharp edge. And why wouldn’t they? To Ugeum, it was all true.

“I got curious about the author and looked them up, but nothing came up except a pen name.”

Thank goodness for that. Otherwise, I would have died by this bastard’s hands long ago.

“I figured someone at the publisher would know who the author is.”

How could someone talk about doing a background check on me with such a casual demeanor?

I swallowed the urge to snap at him for digging into my background. As if he didn’t already know what he was doing. Who did he think he was? Ju Ugeum. Ugeum knew. He knew better than anyone. He was the kind of guy who did things fully aware of what they were—whether it was background checks or murder.

“Why go that far? You must be really curious about the author.”

I let out a hollow laugh, pretending it was nothing.

Ugeum glanced at me sideways and asked.

“Aren’t you curious about that author?”

“Not really…….”

Why would I be? I’m that author.

“You like those books too. You even collected every single volume.”

That’s because I wrote them.

“Aren’t you a fan of the author Mun Seongwon?”

“I am, but.”

“Don’t you know anything about the author?”

“Nothing…….”

“That’s a shame.”

The fact that he sounded genuinely disappointed made a chill run down my spine. The more Ugeum obsessed over Mun Seongwon, the closer the Cursed Manuscript—which had become a real-time record of my life—drifted toward a thriller, and the further away romance slipped.

To divert Ugeum’s attention, I put on a display of petulance completely out of character for me.

“So meeting that author is more important to you than going on a date with me.”

“Huh?”

“Isn’t it? You skipped out on our date and went to the publisher just to meet Mun Seongwon.”

Ugeum looked at me with a rare expression of fluster. Even then, he couldn’t make an excuse. Because it was the truth.

“You’re driving. Watch the road.”

I deliberately snapped at him.

Turning his head back toward the front, Ugeum kept stealing glances at me, reading my mood.

“Ji-an. Are you mad?”

I silently stared out the window. Mad? Far from it. I wasn’t brave enough to look down on you like that. I was just terrified. Terrified that you might find out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be this upset. I felt like you’ve been avoiding me a bit lately.”

With a lonely tone, Ugeum hit right where it hurt.

I jumped like a thief caught red-handed.

“What? There’s no way.”

“Then let’s go on that date now.”

Ugeum spoke in a voice as soft as cotton candy, as if coaxing a child.

I flinched. I had only pretended to sulk to get his mind off Mun Seongwon, but I hadn’t expected him to suggest a date right away.

Come to think of it, it was only natural. After all, I had sulked over him blowing off our date. What should I do? Should I say yes?

My hesitation didn’t last long. Since when had I ever been so accommodating toward Ju Ugeum?

“Forget it.”

Ugeum reached out with his right hand and wrapped his fingers over the back of my hand.

“Ji-an, please.”

Please? Did Ju Ugeum just beg me?

Startled, I looked over; Ugeum was gazing at me with desperate eyes, like a dog waiting for a treat.

The moment I saw that, impossibly, a strange sense of superiority tickled my chest.

I bit my lower lip, turning away from him.

I’ve definitely gone crazy. How else could I feel this way toward Ju Ugeum?

Yet, even so, the triumphant feeling wouldn’t fade. It felt as though I had tamed a man-eating beast. Honestly, it wasn’t far from the truth.

“Fine, then.”

I accepted with an aloof air, then quickly added upon remembering we were on our way home.

“Instead, we stay outside.”

It wasn’t just once or twice that Ugeum had tried to pounce on me; if I had a date at home with a wolf like him, I felt like I’d be devoured whole.

“……You said you wanted to rest at home. Let’s do it at home. You’re not feeling well, either.”

Ugeum spoke as if he were worried about me—no, it seemed like he genuinely was—but I couldn’t help being on guard against the dark intentions hidden behind that gentle face.

“No. I’m fine now. There’s a movie I want to see. Let’s watch a movie. And eat out, too.”

“All right.”

Fortunately, Ugeum didn’t push any further.

* * *

I dragged Ugeum around outside all day. After having a late lunch, watching a Hollywood movie, and taking our time over a full-course dinner at a high-end restaurant with a great view, the pitch-black night had already settled in.

Now all that’s left is to go home. Checking the time, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief behind Ugeum’s back.

Yet just when I thought Ugeum would leave after dropping me off, he caught my wrist in front of the apartment entrance.

“Ji-an. I want to spend a little more time with you.”

So let me into your place. His dark motive was loud and clear.

No way.

Firmly rejecting him in my head, I racked my brains. Not wanting to provoke Ugeum, I searched for a compromise that would satisfy his wish without letting him into my apartment.

“Then let’s take a walk.”

“Sure.”

Contrary to his words, the smile Ugeum offered seemed a bit lukewarm. Pretending not to notice, I took the lead and headed toward the neighborhood park.

Even though it was late, the weather was clear and cool, so quite a few people were out walking.

Strolling side by side with Ugeum, I chattered endlessly about how nice the weather was, how fresh the air felt, how great everything was—just rattling off whatever sounded positive. Whether he meant it or not, Ugeum chimed in, agreeing with me.

How long had we walked like that? Coming from the opposite direction, I spotted a man walking toward us, his baseball cap pulled low and both hands shoved into his pockets.

The instant I saw him, an icy dread sliced down my spine.

It felt like that man was hiding a folding knife in his pocket. It felt like the moment he drew near, he would pull out that blade and swing it at me.

It was my chronic illness: persecutory paranoia. My head knew it was an absurd delusion, but my heart didn’t, pounding so hard it felt like it would burst. My breath grew ragged in tandem.

“What’s wrong?”

The voice asking from beside me halted my runaway thoughts. Turning my head, I saw Ugeum looking down at me with a worried expression. For a second, my mind went blank.

Right. I’m with Ju Ugeum.

“Ha.”

In an instant, the tension melted away and a breathless chuckle escaped me. What on earth was I afraid of? When I was standing right beside the most dangerous guy in the world.

It wasn’t an exaggeration. If you summed up Ju Ugeum in one phrase, it was this: an unkillable serial killer. Could a more dangerous human being even exist?

If that man pulled a knife and swung it at me, today might not be the day of his funeral, but it would certainly be his check-in date at the hospital.

“Nothing. I’ve always been too scared to go on night walks alone, but having you by my side makes me feel really safe.”

Letting out scattered chuckles—unsure whether it was a hollow laugh or a bitter one—I spoke, and Ugeum smiled warmly, taking my hand.

I was startled anew by the warmth enveloping my fingers. Every time I felt it, I was struck by how large and warm Ugeum’s hands were. Unfittingly so.

“Don’t be scared anymore. I’ll protect you from now on.”

Ugeum spoke in a tender voice. The man in the baseball cap who had frightened me had already passed us by.

Staring blankly down at our joined hands as we walked, I suddenly came to a halt. Stopping a beat later, Ugeum turned back, puzzled.

“What is it?”

Leaning into Ugeum’s tenderness, I squeezed out every ounce of courage I had.

“You told me before. You said you can understand everything else, but there’s just one thing you can’t: lies.”

“…….”

His gaze silently searching my face carried a heavy weight. I was terrified of his silence, yet I felt like if I didn’t ask now, I never could.

“What if, just what if. What would you do if I lied to you? If I deceived you. Would you…….”

Kill me?

I didn’t dare ask so bluntly, so I licked my dry lips and skirted around it.

“Throw me away?”

Just what would Ugeum answer? Over the taut silence, the frantic thumping of my heart battered my eardrums. It felt as though a death sentence could drop from those lips at any second.

“Did you?”

The sudden interrogation cutting through the silence made my heart plummet. In contrast, my voice pitched upward.

“Huh?”

Ugeum calmly added.

“Lie.”

“…….”

My tongue tied in an instant. I hadn’t expected him to turn the question back on me. If I said no, it was a lie; if I admitted to it, I was terrified of how Ugeum might react.

As I stood frozen, unable to utter a word, Ugeum answered in a decisive tone.

“I won’t throw you away. How could I ever throw you away?”

The moment I heard those words, my mouth moved before my brain could stop it.

“Liar.”

You even killed your lover.

Even if I was the one who wrote it that way.

Perhaps taking my disbelief as petulance, Ugeum let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s true. If you’re honest with me, I’ll forgive you.”

“……And if I don’t tell you?”

“I’ll let you fool me.”

Answering lightly, Ugeum lifted our joined hands and kissed the back of mine. His lips pressing against my chilled skin were scalding, like a brand.

I was left stunned. It was an answer I hadn’t imagined in my wildest dreams.

Looking down at me with warm eyes, Ugeum voiced a wish that I could never grant.

“Still, if possible, I hope you won’t lie to me.”

* * *

After our walk, Ugeum walked me all the way to my front door.

Because it wasn’t just once or twice that Ugeum had followed me inside, I stayed on guard against him the entire time as I unlocked the digital door lock.

As I opened the door to step in, Ugeum’s voice caught me by the collar.

“No goodbye kiss?”

Switching my grip to the inside handle, I turned back toward Ugeum. Detecting my presence, the entryway sensor light blinked on.

“I had fun today. Well, get home safe.”

At that, Ugeum took a long stride toward me and lowered his head. My body froze on its own.

……I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, Ugeum’s lips lightly brushed against my cheek and quickly pulled away.

Ugeum replied with a picture-perfect smile.

“I had fun too. Take care, Ji-an. I love you.”

It felt like I’d been struck hard across the head. The sudden “I love you” threw my entire mind into turmoil.

Why so suddenly? Aside from that one time I asked, he had never said he loved me.

“Uh, yeah. Right.”

As I gave a dazed reply and tried to close the door, a large hand shot through the gap and grabbed the edge of the door.

Startled out of my wits, I threw my head back. Through the opening, I could see Ugeum’s face.

“Wh-What?”

“You should say it too.”

Widening the gap, Ugeum gently coaxed me.

“What?”

An overwhelming sense of bewilderment crashed over me. As I looked up at him in utter disarray, Ugeum spoke again.

“I love you.”

This time, it wasn’t a confession; it was an example. Ugeum’s eyes gave the command: Say it.

My mouth went bone-dry. I was naturally terrible at lying, and Ugeum was a man who could see right through almost any deception. Cornered, my heart hammered wildly against my ribs.

What should I do? He’ll notice. He’s going to find out. He’ll know…….

While I hesitated, the sensor light clicked off. As I stood in the dark, unable to speak and merely swallowing dry spit, the corner of Ugeum’s mouth lifted into a slant outside the door.

“What. It’s not quite love?”

I felt as though my heart were plummeting off a thousand-foot cliff. I knew all too well how Ugeum treated unrequited love.

“No? It is love. It really is love. I love you too. I love you…….”

Looking at Ugeum, I frantically repeated the words as if pleading, praying desperately that the darkness would hide my expression.

“……You’re driving me crazy.”

Ugeum muttered like an exhale. My heart dropped with a thud.

Why? I did what you told me to do, so why?

Amidst my trembling anxiety, Ugeum grabbed the nape of my neck and crushed his lips against mine as if he meant to devour me. A wet, soft tongue and scalding breath invaded my parted, startled mouth. Above our heads, the amber light flared back to life.

Driven by Ugeum’s fierce momentum, I stumbled backward, and Ugeum followed me inside as if we were one body—using the hand that had held the front door to pull my waist firmly against him.

Thud.

The door slammed shut.