How to Survive the Horror Novel I Wrote
Chapter 11
When I opened my eyes, a familiar ceiling came into view. I was home.
How did I even get here? I remembered drinking with Jeongan at the chicken pub, but nothing after that.
A sudden hangover struck without warning. An invisible awl stabbed rhythmically into my brain.
"Ugh..."
As I clutched my throbbing head, the now all-too-familiar sound of typing reached my ears. I snapped my head around toward the desk.
The Cursed Keyboard was moving on its own. The moment I saw it, memories of hearing that exact tapping at the pub flashed through my mind—along with Jeongan answering Joo Ugeum's call in my place.
My heart dropped into my stomach.
From the living room came the sound of rhythmic chopping. A knife striking a cutting board.
Please tell me whatever's being chopped right now isn't my best friend.
Trembling with dread, I stepped out of the bedroom.
"You're awake?"
Standing in the kitchen amidst a mouthwatering aroma, Ugeum greeted me with a gentle smile, wearing a black apron. It didn't surprise me in the slightest.
Thankfully, what he was chopping turned out to be scallions. Seeing me let out a breathless sigh of relief, Ugeum gestured toward the dining table with his chin.
"Have a seat. I'll make you some bean sprout soup. You need to cure that hangover."
I sat meekly at the table and carefully brought up last night.
"Did you bring me home yesterday?"
Seasoning the rolling, boiling pot of bean sprout soup, Ugeum paused and looked back at me.
"You don't remember?"
"No. I guess I had way too much to drink."
"Not a single thing?"
"Yeah..."
"That's a shame."
"...Why?"
"Just because."
Ugeum let out a quiet chuckle and turned back to the stove.
What did he mean, 'just because'? What was so shameful about it? Afraid that prying further might arouse unnecessary suspicion, I kept my mouth shut and worried my poor thumb raw between my teeth.
After finishing the soup Ugeum made me, I holed up in my room under the pretense of getting ready for work and checked the Cursed Manuscript.
The manuscript chronicled everything Jeongan had experienced while I was passed out drunk.
[“Hey. Answer your phone. Hey, Ha Jian.”
Jeongan reached out and shook Jian’s shoulder. But Jian showed no sign of moving. Seeing Jian’s eyes fluttering groggily, Jeongan shook her head and muttered under her breath.
“She’s completely out of it. Wasted.”
Before long, the ringing stopped. Jeongan looked down at Jian’s phone with an unimpressed expression.
“She got a new phone.”
It was the latest model. The moment she picked it up out of casual curiosity, the screen lit up with another incoming call.
Jeongan let out a scoff when she saw the caller ID.
Joo Ugeum.
‘Is it a nickname, or someone with the same name?’
On a sudden impulse, she wondered what this Joo Ugeum sounded like. Jeongan answered the call.
“Hello.”
- Who is this?
A bewitchingly deep voice questioned from the other end of the line. Jeongan recognized it instantly, having heard it only once before.
It was that man. The one who had called Jian out last Saturday morning.
“I think I should be the one asking that.”
Jeongan deliberately shot back with an incredulous tone.
- That’s Jian’s phone.
“Yes, it is. And I’m her friend. Who might you be?”
- I’m Jian’s boyfriend.
‘Wait, what?’
Jeongan’s gaze dropped to Jian, who was slumped over the table, dead to the world.
She remembered Jian claiming she had a boyfriend now—that Joo Ugeum had popped out into reality, and she’d become his girlfriend just to stay alive.
It was an absurd story. Of course she hadn't believed it. But now, a man named Joo Ugeum was on the line, claiming to be Jian’s boyfriend. What a bizarre coincidence.
‘What is going on here?’
Jeongan tried her best to make sense of it with common sense. Was that what Jian meant by Ugeum popping out of the screen? That she had met a real person who shared the same name?
Meanwhile, the man on the phone asked to speak with Jian.
“I’m sorry, but Jian isn’t in any condition to take calls right now. She’s completely hammered.”
- I’ll come pick her up.
Jeongan hesitated briefly over whether to give him the location. Was it alright to call him over?
Her hesitation didn't last long. It wasn’t just anyone; he was supposedly Jian’s boyfriend. Jeongan had both the right and the obligation to see what kind of guy her best friend was dating.
“Hold on a second, the address here is—”
- That’s alright. I’m already on my way.
His immediate reply sent a chill down her spine. On his way? How did he know where they were? Was he a stalker?
Yet she soon dismissed the thought as paranoia. Surely Jian wouldn't have saved a stalker’s number on her phone.
Jian might have told her boyfriend where they were earlier, before Jeongan noticed.
Even so, just in case, Jeongan moved over to sit right beside Jian.
A short while later, a man stepped through the doors of the chicken pub.
The moment she saw him, Jeongan’s jaw dropped straight to the floor.
‘Holy crap. He looks insanely like Joo Ugeum.’]
* * *
[Joo Ugeum was a handsome man.
At first, Jeongan couldn't understand why Jian had made a serial killer in a horror novel so attractive.
But after reading the first installment of the Night Series, she understood. The terror born from the contrast was immense.
It was terrifying when someone who seemed incapable of such atrocities committed them. It was terrifying when someone who looked entirely harmless turned out to be a killer.
Joo Ugeum was handsome enough to appear a million light-years removed from an act like murder.
That didn't mean he had a delicate, frail appearance as if he couldn't hurt a fly. Rather, his features were striking, cool, and sharp.
Society simply held a natural prejudice: why would a man that handsome ever need to kill someone?
Jian had exploited that cognitive gap to perfection, and readers revelled in the dread, captivated by Ugeum's twisted charm.
Jeongan had been one of them. She had reread the Night Series countless times and hoarded stacks of Joo Ugeum fan art.
Though an appearance described in text belonged to the realm of imagination, there was a unified image of Joo Ugeum shared by every single reader.
A black panther in a bespoke suit. A beast of prey that feigned harmlessness like an overgrown cat, only to tear open its prey’s throat without warning.
That was why she recognized him the instant she laid eyes on him.
A gentleman with a tall, well-built physique that made his black suit look like a work of art, exuding a subtly dark and dangerous aura.
He was, quite literally, Joo Ugeum ripped straight from the pages of the book.
“Unbelievable...”
Jeongan murmured, utterly dazed. Looking like that, it was no wonder Jian had gotten confused.
Meanwhile, Ugeum’s long, sharp eyes swept across the pub before halting on Jeongan. Or more accurately, on Jian, who was slumped over beside her.
As he strode over with immaculate posture, Jeongan's mouth went dry for no good reason. It was all because of Jian’s crazy nonsense. There was no way a novel character could pop out into the real world.
“Thank you for waiting.”
Stopping before the table, Ugeum offered a polite greeting. The gaze he cast down at Jian was sweet enough to rot teeth.
Still unable to close her hanging jaw, Jeongan asked dubiously,
“Joo Ugeum-ssi?”
“Yes.”
‘Yes,’ he said. Was it his real name, or an alias? If what Jian said was true, this man was a serial killer straight out of a novel. An unthinking question surged up to the back of her throat.
Are you a serial killer?]
"Gasp!"
I choked on my breath and froze the scrollbar. Jeongan was the blunt type, notorious for throwing verbal fastballs without hesitation. If she really asked that... Jeongan would...
And so would I.
My constricted heart pounded as if it were about to burst. Forgetting to breathe, I slowly scrolled down.
[However, one could hardly ask such an irrational, outrageously rude question upon meeting someone for the first time.]
"Haaah."
The breath I’d been holding burst out of me.
Jin Jeongan, you're going to put me in an early grave, I swear.
[Instead, Jeongan decided to probe the situation within the bounds of common sense.
“So you’re Jian’s boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you two been dating?”
“It’s been four days now.”
Four days ago was Friday—the day Jian claimed Ugeum had appeared. Goosebumps prickled along her forearms. But Jeongan didn't stop there.
“Who confessed first?”
“Neither of us.”
“You’re dating even though nobody confessed?”
“That’s how it turned out.”
“And how exactly did it turn out like that?”
]
It was a relentless, razor-sharp interrogation. How exactly did we end up dating?
What would Ugeum say to that? My heart hammered against my ribs. He couldn't possibly know, right? That I used the Cursed Keyboard to make myself his lover...
[Ugeum, who had been answering meekly, suddenly let out a low chuckle.
“Is this a congressional hearing?”
“Excuse me?”
“It sounds an awful lot like an interrogation. Though I completely understand wanting to vet your best friend’s boyfriend.”
Ugeum’s playful smile chipped away at Jeongan’s guard. Forgetting her intention to test him, Jeongan felt a pang of remorse for being so prickly right off the bat.
“I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“No need to apologize. I’m not offended in the slightest.”
Replying with composure, Ugeum offered a faint smile and added,
“Still, let’s save the rest of the cross-examination for next time. Jian has work tomorrow.”
“Well, so do I.”
“Shall we get going, then?”
After gathering Jian’s bag, Ugeum scooped her up into his arms with practiced ease. Plastered and fast asleep, Jian showed no sign of waking even as she was swept up like a princess.
“Pardon me. Coming through.”
Ugeum courteously excused himself as he made his way toward the exit. Watching his retreating back, Jeongan found him remarkably dependable—and utterly terrifying.
Because he was so terrifyingly identical to the Joo Ugeum in the novel.]
But that wasn't where it ended.
There was more text below. Details of what happened after Ugeum brought me home.
