Chapter 24
- At the End of the Gaze
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“Why are you staring like that? Because they called you a fool?”
“……”
Despite Taeseo’s remark, Yuna didn’t avert her gaze. Taeseo continued to hurl harsh words.
“Idiot. If you don’t want to be called a fool, you shouldn’t live like a pushover.”
Taeseo didn’t understand why he was saying such things to Yuna.
Was it because he was drunk?
No. He was sober enough to walk to the convenience store. He swore he wasn’t that drunk.
Having concluded he wasn’t drunk, he looked at another emotion stirring within his heart.
It was anger. Anger towards those who preyed on the weak.
Once he recognized the feeling of anger, he couldn’t understand why he had to feel it.
As the child of a conglomerate owner, he was accustomed to structures that exploited those with lower social status and less wealth than himself.
It was strange for him to feel anger at the injustice faced by the weak.
He himself had no way of knowing why he had become emotional about Ahn Yuna’s situation.
He had drunk too much. He could walk, but he must have become emotional because of the alcohol. Taeseo defined his feelings that way.
“……Where are you coming from?”
“Your village.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Yeah. The Village Head asked me to help with the pesticide application. I lent a hand and had a bit to eat for dinner.”
Yuna looked at Taeseo for a moment, then nodded and started walking. Taeseo reached out. His hand touched the eco-bag slung over Yuna’s shoulder.
“What do you have in here to make the bag like this?”
“Zucchini.”
“Zucchini?”
“There were zucchini growing in the field next to my house…… You helped me out, so I wanted to make you some soybean paste stew or something……”
Taeseo didn’t listen to the end of Yuna’s words and took the eco-bag off her shoulder. It seemed to contain more than just zucchini, as a plastic bag rustled inside.
“What else are you carrying around?”
“I bought enoki mushrooms, and some meat too…… Give me the bag. I’ll carry it.”
“Never mind.”
Taeseo slung the bag he had taken from Yuna over one shoulder and walked past her, ahead.
Was it the high temperature and humid air of the tropical night? Taeseo roughly rubbed his alcohol-flushed face with the back of his hand as he moved forward.
It was a night filled only with the sound of footsteps, the croaking of frogs from the rice paddy ridges, and the chirping of insects.
The two walked in silence. They maintained a steady distance, walking in a line without overtaking or falling behind each other for 20 minutes.
Their formation broke as the convenience store building came into view.
Standing in front of the convenience store, the only place brightly lit in the dark rural town, An Yunho was fuming.
“You damn bastard, why aren’t you coming already?”
“I’m sorry!”
Taeseo stopped in a spot not reached by the convenience store’s light and watched Ahn Yuna’s slender back as she entered the store, bowing apologetically to An Yunho.
Soon, An Yunho sped away on his motorcycle, leaving the convenience store.
Inside the brightly lit convenience store, Ahn Yuna, as if in a hurry, put on her uniform vest, looked at the POS system, and tapped away.
Taeseo entered the convenience store once An Yunho’s motorcycle was no longer audible.
The bell jingled.
He placed the eco-bag on the convenience store counter and recited his usual request.
“Cigarettes.”
Ahn Yuna, who had been looking at the POS system, rubbed her tired eyes with her hand and met Taeseo’s gaze.
“Smoking cigarettes after drinking like that is bad for your health. Would you like a hangover remedy instead?”
“No. Just get the cigarettes and ring them up.”
“No, please don’t. Really. If you smoke too much after drinking, you’ll end up like our uncle……”
“I’m hearing all sorts of nonsense. No matter how recklessly I live, I won’t end up like that bastard.”
Perhaps it was because of what he heard at the Village Head’s house, but his words came out harsher than usual today.
“You shouldn’t speak like that. You’re an adult. You’re older than my father.”
“My father is much older than your uncle.”
“Still.”
Yuna took out the cigarettes Taeseo smoked and scanned their barcode. Taeseo, watching her quietly, brought up something he had forgotten.
“Your uncle said to collect next month’s rent from me.”
A fine line appeared between Ahn Yuna’s eyebrows. With a slight crease between her brows, Yuna shook her head.
“That would be a real disaster. You absolutely must not give the rent money to your uncle.”
If she said the rent shouldn’t go to her uncle, how would Ahn Yuna react if the compensation for the 400-pyeong land went to him?
Would she consider it a better outcome than her grandmother being forcibly displaced after insisting on her rights? Or would she say Taeseo had deceived her and done something he shouldn’t have?
If the family received a large sum of money like that, could Ahn Yuna become free from this convenience store, this cage that bound her?
The conclusion he had thought clear until now became muddled, uncertain if it was the right answer.
“Here are your cigarettes.”
Taeseo placed his card on the counter, out of Yuna’s reach. Yuna paused, her hand hovering over Taeseo’s card.
“Tomorrow is Saturday, so you’ll be resting, right? I’ll make you soybean paste stew, so eat it with rice. I want to repay you in some way for all you’ve done. You said you go to Seongwoo Baekban for every meal, so I thought you might want to rest on Saturday.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Taeseo paid for the cigarettes Yuna handed him and came out of the convenience store.
Was it because he had suppressed his urge to smoke while drinking at the Village Head’s house? Or was it because his mind was complicated in many ways? The cigarette didn’t feel as refreshing as he’d expected.
After exhaling the dry smoke a few times, Taeseo crushed the cigarette in the ashtray and headed upstairs.
\ \ *
Knock, knock, knock. Taeseo opened his eyes at the sound of knocking.
Along with the sight of a monotonous white ceiling, he realized another day had begun in Seongwoo-eup.
Knock, knock. The knocking came again. Taeseo only turned his head to look at the wall clock.
It was just past 5 o’clock. Despite the early hour, the sky outside the window was brightening. Still, it was a very early time with a bluish hue remaining.
The question of who had come at this hour was answered by the voice from outside the door.
“Hello. Please open the door.”
It was Ahn Yuna’s voice. Only then did he remember Yuna’s promise from last night to make him soybean paste stew.
Ahn Yuna’s day seemed to start at 5 AM. It might be a diligent and good habit, but it wasn’t a suitable time for Taeseo.
It was absurd to think that just because he woke up at 5 AM, everyone else would be awake at that hour, yet he also found it commendable that she was trying to keep her promise to make him soybean paste stew by squeezing it into her busy schedule.
“Just a moment.”
Taeseo spoke loudly enough for her to hear outside the door and got out of bed.
As he sat up, a severe headache washed over him. It was, of course, a hangover. In his life, he had never drunk so many different kinds of homemade liquors as he had yesterday.
After hitting his aching head with his palm a couple of times, he got up and opened the door. Yuna, standing at the door, blinked and looked at Taeseo.
A smile flickered across Yuna’s expressionless face. Taeseo looked down at her as if it were absurd.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Your hair is a mess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”
He had just woken up and hadn’t even washed his face. Moreover, Taeseo’s hair, which was unusually light and fine, tended to get tangled and messy if not properly styled.
“If you wanted to see me looking presentable, you shouldn’t have knocked at this hour.”
“This look isn’t bad either.”
“Of course. A handsome face doesn’t disappear anywhere.”
“Wow, it must be hard to say that about yourself.”
“It’s not like I said anything untrue.”
Yuna chuckled, as if finding Taeseo’s appearance amusing, and held out the tray in her hands.
On the tray were a small pot and zucchini pancakes.
As Taeseo reached for the pot, Yuna suddenly pulled the tray back.
“Aren’t you going to take it?”
“It’s too hot to touch with bare hands because it was just cooked.”
“You made it?”
It was obvious Yuna had made it, as she couldn’t have bought soybean paste stew at this hour, and there were no open establishments in the countryside, but he asked anyway, knowing the answer.
“I told you I wanted to repay you because I feel like I’m constantly indebted to you. I thought you might be eating takeout all the time, so I made it.”
Taeseo reached out and took the tray. As soon as he held it, Yuna pulled her hands back.
“Then please enjoy your meal.”
As Yuna was about to leave after saying goodbye, Taeseo spoke to her.
“Are you opening the convenience store now?”
“Yes. I have to open it now. We agreed to open at 5:30 AM and close at 1 AM, so I have to stick to it.”
“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
“Eaten?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to eat alone.”
“But I have to open the convenience store……”
“Then open it and come up. There won’t be any customers at this hour anyway.”
Without waiting for Yuna’s reply, Taeseo went inside with the tray.
In reality, what he needed wasn’t someone to eat with, but sleep. His head still felt like it would split, and his thoughts buzzed like a swarm of bees every time he spoke.
The homemade liquors were not his specialty, and his stomach was churning, yet he had unconsciously asked Ahn Yuna to eat with him.
While finding his own actions strange, Taeseo placed the tray Yuna had brought on the dining table and heated two servings of instant rice in the microwave.
As the alarm for the rice being ready sounded, Yuna returned to Taeseo’s room.
Entering the room, Yuna looked at Taeseo’s face and said with concern, “You should get more sleep. I brought this early so you could sleep more……”
“I’m an early riser and live a disciplined life.”
“Ah…… yes.”
Frowning at Yuna’s doubtful reaction, Taeseo went into the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face, and looked in the mirror.
His appearance was indeed as disheveled as Ahn Yuna had mocked. His face was red from the hangover, and his hair was a bird’s nest…….
“Ah, damn……”
He wet his hair with cold water, roughly ran his hands through it, and came back out. In the meantime, Ahn Yuna had opened the window and turned on the air conditioner to ventilate the humid air.
Although the air was still hot, carrying the day’s heat, fresh morning air flowed into the room.
“Sit here for a moment.”
After seeing Ahn Yuna sit at the dining table, Taeseo took the instant rice out of the microwave and heated up some tteokgalbi he had kept in the refrigerator.
While Taeseo moved around, Ahn Yuna sat stiffly at the table, remaining in the same posture.
Although she had come to eat at Taeseo’s invitation, it was evident she felt awkward being alone with him.
In the silence, Taeseo looked at Yuna.
His gaze lingered on her white, neat hands resting on the narrow dining table, her unmoving eyes at her fingertips, and the slight rise and fall of her chest with each breath, before falling away.
He swore he had never looked at her so intently before. He had never realized she got nervous in front of him. Taeseo wasn’t the type of person to pay much attention to others.
But perhaps it was because he noticed she was visibly nervous? Or had her nervousness transferred to him?
For some reason, Taeseo’s throat felt tight.
