Ch#99
Chapter 99She worried he might already have gone inside, but Laslo was sitting on a bench in the western garden of the estate, lost in deep thought. A chill wind occasionally tousled his hair, but he remained utterly motionless, as if impervious to the cold.
Edel hesitated before slowly approaching him.
"It's getting cold out, my lord. And it's late."
Only then did he, who had been frozen like a statue, turn his head.
"Edel...?"
He looked somewhat surprised.
"Did I interrupt your private time, my lord?"
"No. I just came out for some air, that's all."
Even so, his gaze fixed steadily on Edel.
It was a bit embarrassing, but she didn't stop her footsteps toward him.
"You met Mr. Jacob earlier, right?"
"How did you know?"
"He said you dropped this. I was coming from that way myself."
Edel took the cravat from her bosom and handed it to him.
Up close, Laslo's attire looked disheveled compared to his usual self.
He was still in the shirt and trousers from earlier that day, but the cravat seemed half-undone, leaving only half the shirt collar standing, with his unbuttoned coat merely draped over haphazardly.
"The night breeze is cold—with your nape so exposed like that, you'll catch a chill."
"That's exactly what I wanted to say to you. With the night breeze so cold, stepping out with just a shawl—you'll catch a chill."
.
Edel let out a small chuckle and sat on the bench, leaving about two paces between them.
"Late autumn has its own charm. The moon is bright, and the crickets sound nice."
"You're right. They say all four seasons are blessings from the gods, but late autumn into early winter has that bittersweet tang that makes it even better."
It was the first time she'd heard such talk from Laslo. Her side tingled oddly, but Edel pretended not to notice and gazed with him at the same spot—the darkness filled only with the chirping of crickets.
The long silence was broken first by Laslo.
"My apology is late, but I'm sorry for spying on your private meeting without permission. To you, it might have been... a scene you didn't want seen."
"I was a bit embarrassed, but I understand completely. You needed to know if my father came scheming."
"......Count Canian doesn't seem like someone who wouldn't know that, so how did he dare pull off such a stunt?"
Laslo's question carried a sigh.
But Edel truly didn't mind. A fist swung in frustration by Dustin—she could take any number of those. It was proof he couldn't refute her words, after all.
Edel smiled faintly and said,
"He probably thought it didn't matter even if you were watching. To him, I'm just a card to discard if it doesn't suit."
Even if blamed for causing a scene in Laslo's house, Dustin—as part of the Old Nobility Faction—had no reason to cower. He'd probably claim boldly that he'd come to sternly scold his daughter, ashamed of clinging to Laslo for survival.
Such an attitude would even look like a show of loyalty to the Old Nobility Faction, which would be a gain for Dustin in its own way.
"More than that, what he said at the end bothers me. He claimed he was planning to restore my honor, but he's not the type to do anything for my sake."
"Pardon?"
"Well... I can guess roughly."
"He probably planned to use you as a spy. Rumors say the three great houses are buying my information at top price. Count Canian likely intended to sell them intel obtained by using you as a spy."
Edel let out a hollow laugh at his words. She'd known it wasn't for her sake, but to think he'd try to exploit her to the very end.
So ruthlessly consistent.
But Laslo was wrong about one thing.
"It wasn't about selling information—he planned to use that as a pretext to make connections there. What my father wants is power."
Laslo said nothing. Any response would feel like rubbing salt in Edel's wounds.
Instead, he decided to apologize for what he'd harbored all day.
"Actually... I misunderstood you."
Under Edel's gaze fixed intently on him, his lips felt parched, but he pressed on.
"I thought your marriage to Duke Lancaster was due to your vanity or lust for power. That if you truly hated it, you could've run away."
"......"
"You were famous in society since childhood, so I figured you weren't ordinary. Even as a captive, I thought you'd look down on my estate, this utterly unnoble house. I know—it was my inferiority complex."
He knew, but couldn't help it.
From the first meeting, he'd seen her as someone from ·a different world than me·, and now here she was in his shabby home, made to serve as a maid. It constantly pricked at a complex he'd hidden—or hadn't even known existed.
At first he'd suspected Edel, then ignored it, observed, denied, realized, felt ashamed, pitied, and ached.
Over the past year and some living with her, Laslo had confronted emotions he'd never felt before, gradually coming to know the person named Edel through that process.
"Now I know you're not that kind of person. You just did your absolute best to make the best of a situation where running away wasn't an option."
A bitter smile tugged at his lips.
It felt like it'd taken far too long to understand this much. That his complacent thoughts had wounded Edel deeply in the meantime.
But Edel's response was utterly unlike his expectation.
"Thank you. Truly, thank you, my lord."
As Laslo wondered if it was sarcasm or sincere, Edel smiled softly and said,
"Back when I married, there were two kinds of looks toward me: pity, or disgust... The rumors spread by the disgusted were so vulgar I couldn't even repeat them. You might have heard some."
"No, I haven't really..."
"If not, that's truly fortunate. Among those who wanted me as a captive, some believed those rumors as fact."
.
Laslo suddenly recalled the men who had raised hands demanding Edel without shame. He didn't remember individual faces, but their overall vibe was vivid.
'Starved wolves......'
Realizing that was because they'd believed the filthy rumors about Edel made his stomach churn.
"Anyway, you're the first to try truly understanding me and even apologize. I never once hoped for it, but hearing it now is immense comfort. Thank you."
Though thanked, Laslo felt no joy at all.
"What thanks? This is just what's right, and you should be furious at the bastards who believed baseless rumors on their own!"
But Edel merely shrugged lightly.
"It's not incomprehensible, really. Life's like that for everyone. What's the point of knowing others' inner stories? We're all too busy minding our own."
"You've become a saint. That's beyond understanding—it's excessive."
Laslo's voice rode the chill night wind, brushing her nape. Edel shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her shawl tighter.
"Maybe that's the right answer."
"What? You being a saint?"
"Of course not."
Edel, who had laughed with a shrug, sobered and said,
"Even treated like a ghost handling annoyances in the ducal house, even abandoned alone in the castle, even stripped of noble status and made a captive—I understood it all. They all had their reasons."
"......Fool."
"Would it have been better if I were a fool? I was just... accustomed to blaming myself or giving up. It was actually easier that way."
Her voice echoed hollowly, as if laden with the night breeze.
"You're right. It wasn't understanding."
She drew a deep breath, exhaling white regret.
"I realized I was deceiving myself when you showed me Barbara's letter."
The intense emotions from that day were still unforgettable. The defenses she'd thought sturdy around her heart cracked at each line of Barbara's concern for her well-being.
If not for Laslo, she would have crumbled right there.
"But even then, I thought most people, including you, despised me. I just prayed to the gods that I could live quietly, as if absent, within the Criserus estate."
"Even under Marsha?"
"Yes. If she'd tormented me moderately, I probably would have kept my mouth shut and endured."
Edel chuckled.
That had truly been her intention then.
Wherever she went, this level of harassment would follow, so just bear it. Time would pass day by day if she held on a bit, and eventually Marsha would grow numb to her.
"In a way, Marsha might be the one who awakened you. Without her, you'd have quietly lived as a lowly maid... giving up on everything."
But Edel shook her head.
.
