Ch#124
Chapter 124"If by any chance..."
"Yes?"
"If by any chance there's a moment too hard to endure, just use me as an excuse."
"What do you mean?"
From her questioning tone, she already seemed to understand, but Laslo decided to make it clear.
"Don't swallow your humiliation and force a social smile that crushes your self-esteem just for reputation's sake—say it's all because of Laslo Criserus, or use my authority. Or threaten that you'll tell your husband if they keep it up."
He knew it was behavior hard to tolerate not just in high society, but in the adult world.
But Laslo wanted Edel to suffer even a little less, even for a moment.
"You said high society treats reputation like life itself, but things like reputation and honor are far less precious than actual life. Better to act childish and shameless than endure agony to the point of death for them."
Then his voice grew a bit cautious.
"Of course, I'm not saying there's a problem with your life of upholding noble honor—I'm just... haa, I lack the eloquence to express it properly..."
"I know exactly what you're trying to say."
Edel turned fully toward Laslo as she lay down. Moonlight traced a silver curve along her shoulder, away from the window.
"I'm always grateful."
Gathering courage, Edel hesitantly reached out. Her fingertip brushed Laslo's hand.
Laslo's gaze darkened, but Edel thought it was just the moonlight reflecting in his eyes.
"Many will think I should have killed myself to preserve my honor, and I did try to take my own life."
Edel still vividly remembered the feel of the metal latch on the carriage door. Her trembling hands and jaw, her chilling body temperature, her eyes welling with tears at any moment—
- 2 -
.
"I was lucky. Someone who would save me was in the same carriage. Even as I resolved to die, ridiculously, a corner of my heart was desperately praying to live."
Probably most suicidal people felt that way? Wasn't the attempt to die ultimately a final cry for someone to save them?
Edel swallowed hard the memory of her sister, who had faced death utterly alone, and let out a long breath.
"Thanks to you, living day by day, I realized it. What I tried to protect was actually killing me—the important thing is surviving itself."
"You have to survive to do anything."
"Exactly. And as you said, good days came while living."
Edel smiled faintly.
She was now living the 'best days' of her life. Days that had never come before and wouldn't after parting with Laslo.
Though she didn't know when this marriage would end, instead of anxiously awaiting it, she planned to live each day fully.
Of course, she had no intention of burdening Laslo.
This seemingly gruff but kind man would feel pangs of conscience if he learned the woman temporarily married to him for a purpose truly loved him.
'I'm happy enough just living like this.'
Even if they parted someday, these memories would sustain her for life.
It was a naive sentiment unaware of the man beside her.
'...It's getting harder to let her go.'
His gaze lingered on Edel's fingertip, which had briefly touched and then pulled away.
Laslo realized for the first time how attached one could become to such a fleeting brush of fingers, not even itchy.
He wanted to seize that hand, but like waiting for a cautious doe, Laslo exercised patience.
Until Edel leaned on him more... slowly...
The desires of Laslo Criserus, who had always seized what he wanted, were slowly spreading toward Edel.
The first occasion for Edel and Laslo to appear as a couple was decided sooner than expected.
"I was thinking what I could do as Edel's guardian, so I decided to hold a party."
Barbara, visiting Criserus mansion, said while sipping warm tea.
"I know you're biding your time, but delaying too long could inflate misunderstandings, Count. It's time to make your stance clear."
"It's already hard to hold back."
Laslo agreed.
While he stayed quiet, Count and Countess Canian had roamed high society freely. Chasing even small gatherings to badmouth others was vulgar for a count, but people criticized them less than inflating the scandalous news of Laslo and Edel.
"I can tolerate mercenaries insulting me as riffraff, but it turns my stomach when those not fit to kiss her feet babble about propriety."
"I agree. People who need lessons in culture from Edel pretending to be refined—ha."
As Laslo and Barbara vented in unison, Edel laughed beside them.
"Rumor-spreaders aren't interested in truth. To make others listen, they embellish. Rumors about us must be bloated to the bursting point by now."
In other words, perfect timing for a counterattack.
"What worries me is all sorts of... riffraff coming to see us and Edel..."
"Laslo. Mind your words."
"Ah, right, all sorts of... uh... not riffraff, then what do I call them?"
"Improper people."
Laslo corrected himself, furrowing his brow discontentedly before Edel's smiling face.
"Improper people will enter Celestine mansion to see us and Edel—is the Dowager Marchioness truly alright with that?"
Barbara chuckled at Laslo, meek as a lamb before Edel, then snorted lightly.
.
"You can't avoid some filth in a dogfight. Celestine's honor won't be tarnished by that. Don't worry."
"Hearing that eases my mind as the one preparing the dogfight."
Laslo intended to end vulgar rumors about him and Edel at once with this party and make Dustin unable to show his face.
Thus, he felt not just at ease but expectant, but Edel was a bit worried.
"Things don't always go as planned. With Winblair Marquis and others like us waiting for the right moment, it makes me uneasy."
Laslo smirked slyly then.
"That's why power exists."
"Laslo...?"
"Don't worry—just splurge. Need to show those bastards how much the Count of Criserus spends on his wife."
Edel chuckled and shook her head.
Nothing was resolved, uncertainties remained, but strangely beside Laslo, everything felt fine.
'Yeah, so what if someone causes a scene? I'm already on Criserus family register and safe from Canian. That's enough.'
Having achieved the most important, she didn't care about finger-pointing as a slut or schemer.
Feeling her firm resolve before and after marriage, Edel awaited the Celestine party.
Barbara's party, in her son's name, was held on February 1st. Meaningful right after January, when religion forbade all fights.
Parties at quiet, refined Celestine Marquis family usually drew little attention, but this one was different.
"Are 'those two' really coming?"
"Yeah. The Dowager Marchioness was 'that woman's' guardian too. They're close."
Few who received invitations declined, thanks to rumors of Count and Countess Criserus attending.
Thus, Celestine mansion bustled with people after long, all sipping aperitifs or juice while glancing at the entrance.
"If it were me, I'd be too ashamed to show up."
"That woman's been through everything. This is nothing? She might brazenly strut with her head high."
"Maybe just the Count comes alone."
As speculations flew, the awaited guests arrived.
"Welcome, Count Criserus!"
"Thank you for the invitation. Marquis Celestine, this is my wife, Edel Criserus."
"It's been a while, Your Excellency the Marquis."
The voices greeting Celestine couple at the entrance drew all eyes in the hall.
"Oh my, look at that!"
Those who had just badmouthed Edel and mocked Laslo fell silent.
They'd imagined Edel beside expressionless Laslo, head bowed like a criminal, watching others' reactions.
But Laslo, shaking hands firmly with Celestine Marquis, shone brighter than usual with a cheerful laugh.
And Edel beside him was beautiful enough to erase memories of 'Lancaster Duchess,' her expression dazzlingly radiant.
.
