Ch#109
Chapter 109But Edel quickly shook her head.
"Foolish? Actually, I'm pretty good at reading others' moods, but the Count's expressions barely change and your tone is always consistent, so it's hard to tell."
It was meant to reassure Laslo, but knowing roughly the past where Edel had to constantly watch others' reactions, he didn't know what expression to make.
At the same time, he thought he at least wanted to be excluded from the list of people she had to read.
"………If you want to know my tastes, just ask directly. It's not hard to answer, and it'd be more efficient that way."
"Then what about your tastes in women?"
Laslo's eyes widened at the sudden, peculiar question.
Edel then chuckled softly.
"See? Not so easy to answer right away, is it? Of course, that question was a bit too personal, but people often find it embarrassing to state their own preferences outright, and sometimes they don't even know what they like or dislike. The people watching from the side often know better."
Laslo clenched his fist tightly, watching Edel smile radiantly as if she harbored not the slightest ulterior motive.
Then he spoke without hesitation.
"It caught me off guard since it was unexpected, but it's not hard to answer."
"Is that so?"
"Smart but not cunning, warm but not a pushover, strong but with a beautiful inner self. Well, it'd be even better if the outer appearance is beautiful too."
"......"
"Of course, whether such a person would like a guy like me is questionable."
Laslo smiled playfully, but Edel replied with a serious face.
"The Count will definitely fall in love with someone like that. You deserve it, and you know how to give that much love in return."
.
It was truly kind words, but for some reason, the kindness didn't reach Laslo.
*Not you, huh.*
He would've preferred no answer at all; her gaze, treating it entirely like someone else's business, left him feeling hollow inside.
"Who knows... It still feels pretty far off."
So he left those ambiguous words and turned away.
The winter preparations passed without a single criticism.
But Edel's expression upon returning to her room wasn't particularly bright.
*His complexion suddenly worsened from midway through...*
The mood had been good when they first started touring the estate and its situation with Laslo. He cracked jokes now and then, and smiles and laughter flowed between them.
He'd even generously overlooked the coal sacks dumped haphazardly in front of the wine cellar.
However, from the storage shed onward, Laslo's face had visibly stiffened.
And Edel roughly knew the reason.
*I said something presumptuous.*
She'd felt it was a mistake the moment the question about his tastes in women left her lips.
*Why did that come to mind then...*
She couldn't understand why she'd done it herself. She could've just nodded along with 'Yes, yes,' but instead, she'd challengingly asked such an impudent question...
*I must've still been dwelling on what Linia said a few days ago.*
A few days prior, Linia had suddenly visited Edel's room and vented about her brother before leaving.
"Just looking at the atmosphere at gatherings or parties I attend, the chances of my brother having a happy marriage seem slim."
"Pardon? What do you mean?"
"Everyone misunderstands him. The polite versions in front of me were 'scary.' 'Who knows what he lives for.' 'He probably doesn't know how to care for a family.' 'He seems to lack emotions altogether.'"
At first, Edel thought the nobles were still ignoring Laslo and Linia.
But when she voiced her concern, Linia firmly shook her head.
"It's not ignoring—they're scared of him now? And apparently, he hardly smiles outside. They say they can't even imagine him smiling."
She let out an exaggerated sigh, lamenting.
"I want a new sister-in-law who understands and embraces him well, but at this rate, he'll end up with whoever His Majesty picks."
"That won't happen. He's rejecting them now, but if the Count sets his mind to it, proposals will flood in. There must be someone suitable among them."
"How would you know if a woman is suitable for him just from a proposal letter? Proposals are just matching conditions—how would they know my brother?"
Edel had no retort to Linia's sharp point.
Linia continued muttering to herself about how her brother had never received proper love since childhood, how pitiful he was, how she wished someone who truly knew what a great person he was would appear, before leaving.
From then on, Edel's view of Laslo's marriage prospects had shifted slightly. Toward looking more at the person's character than conditions.
*First, I need to know what kind of woman the Count likes...*
That's why the question about his ideal type had blurted out today. Without even considering how displeased Laslo might be.
Yet his completely unexpected answer had sharply pierced her heart.
"Smart but not cunning, warm but not a pushover, strong but with a beautiful inner self."
It felt like it was directed at her—someone too dim to escape when she should have, who'd lived as a pushover for House Canian and the Lancaster Duke family, ultimately becoming a prisoner, weak in body and mind.
*How pathetic must I look in Count Criserus's eyes?*
.
For some reason, it hurt.
*If he were truly indifferent, it would've been better.*
If he'd been as indifferent and scary as his first impression, would it have been better?
Then Laslo would've just been a stranger of little significance in her life, and the contemptuous gazes from people who didn't know her well wouldn't have stung; his words and looks wouldn't have made her flinch or sadden her.
But Laslo feigned indifference while being kind.
His every word held sincerity and consideration; he was someone with more upright values than anyone she'd met. That's why even his casual remarks made her wince or feel sad.
*Strangely, I feel so small in front of him.*
It wasn't because he held her lifeline. She probably would've felt this way even if they'd met privately as nobles.
Unlike her, a puppet of her family, he'd achieved and seized everything himself.
Yes, he suited a wise, warm, strong woman just as he'd described. He needed to meet one soon.
Edel worried about Laslo's situation—he'd turn twenty-nine next year.
While having no plans at all for her own life after his marriage...
*Anyway, next year I should tell him to accept proposals. It's not just about conditions, but you need proposals first to even meet someone.*
Edel resolved that if Laslo felt averse to choosing his bride, she'd narrow down candidates herself.
And the wedding should be as grand as possible to draw all of high society's attention.
Rent the largest cathedral in the capital, decorate with lilies, white ranunculus, white silk ribbons, and blue drapes.
Bathed in sunlight pouring from all sides, Laslo in the tailcoat she'd chosen would gaze warmly at his veiled bride—what a beautiful scene.
Linia might not hold back her tears. It might be slightly improper, but everyone would understand her that day.
And she'd stay out of sight as much as possible, supervising from somewhere hidden...
Her imagination cut off there.
The moment she pictured herself behind a shadowed wall while everyone basked in divine blessings of happiness.
*I... yes, it's better if no one sees me...*
To the Old Nobility Faction, she'd be a traitor; to the emperor's faction, a lackey—so her existence didn't suit such a joyous occasion at all.
It wasn't something to feel slighted over.
Then why did tears keep welling up?
*It's because I'm weak. I've gotten used to leaning on him.*
Edel had long known Laslo had become her sole support.
He provided a place to sleep, food, clothes, work; recognized her abilities; and caught her whenever she was about to crumble. It was inevitable she'd grown emotionally and mentally dependent.
That's why she couldn't betray him.
The unexpected issue was that her resolve to leave wherever the new lady decided upon her arrival was now wavering.
*Well, my thoughts don't matter anyway.*
As a prisoner gifted by the emperor, her current life was already too much.
Even sincerely thinking that, selfish delusions suddenly arose.
What if, just what if, Laslo never married and stayed single...? Then she wouldn't have to leave the estate and could continue this peaceful life.
*No, don't be greedy. Shameless thought.*
Edel shook her head vigorously and took a deep breath.
The early winter air felt newly chill.
.
