Chapter 18
#018. When All Places to Go Have Disappeared
The silver Crown Princess Consort's Palace. Its official name was the Tiaje Palace, but everyone enjoyed calling it by its nickname because of its shimmering silver color, as if painted with cool moonlight.
From early morning, the Crown Princess Consort's Palace was in an uproar. It was all because of Crown Prince's fiancée, Olivia Madelaine, who had hair as cool and silver as the palace itself.
"The Madeleine has arrived without any luggage and plans to stay for several days. What's going on?"
"She came to the Imperial Palace in a carriage without any insignia from the crack of dawn, they say?"
"Her face looked like she had been crying, too."
From the titled ladies-in-waiting and maids to the laundry maids who handled the menial tasks, everyone talked about the Madeleine whenever they gathered.
It was the same on the floor below the balcony. Olivia slowly sipped her tea, listening to the chattering.
"Her wrist was swollen and red, and she received ointment, they say?"
Just in case, she had changed her dress alone, and it was a good thing she did. If they had seen the handprint on her shoulder, the delightful conversation would have become even richer.
"Ahem, ahem!"
The Baroness Sophron, who was standing beside her, cleared her throat louder and louder. Olivia smiled at her face, which was a mixture of embarrassment and anger.
"Does my face look like I've been crying?"
"Pardon?"
"Isn't it Wednesday?"
It was the day she had a date with Leopold. Baroness Sophron seemed to realize it too, as she brought a hand mirror. Olivia looked at her reflection and ran her finger around her eyes.
"It looks more like I haven't slept than that I've been crying. Could you prepare my makeup?"
Baroness Sophron nodded and went outside.
Thud. With the sound of the door closing, Olivia was left alone.
The moment she let out the sigh she had been holding in, the tips of her fingers, which she had been trying to keep steady, trembled slightly.
It was a relief.
That House Madeleine wasn't mixed in with the wildfire-like rumors.
The fact that she was thinking about the honor of House Madeleine in the midst of all this made her laugh. Olivia weakly raised the corners of her lips.
Last night, no one from the Grand Ducal House came after her. No, did her family even know she had left?
But this morning, she was even greeted. A self-deprecating smile formed on her lips.
She remembered Hanna, who had waved her hands enthusiastically from the dim dawn, saying she hoped to see her again. Even the Grand Duke, who had been standing in front of the second-floor glass window.
The image of the Grand Duke fading away from the departing carriage flickered in her mind. Last night, the Grand Duke had said she could stay as long as she wanted, but she couldn't.
Even today, if the carriage had the Grand Ducal family's insignia, the Grand Duke would have been caught up in the scandal with her.
No matter how out of her mind she was, she couldn't cause trouble for her benefactor.
House Madeleine was clear about repaying debts...
Without realizing it, her thoughts turned to House Madeleine again. The family she had longed for so much. And House Madeleine, where she felt she could no longer go.
"...It's a relief to be here."
Olivia murmured softly and looked outside. The Tiaje Palace sparkled in silver under the high sun.
She knew that this palace would become hers ever since she got engaged at the age of nine.
She thought she would formally enter the palace someday. But she came here first, as if fleeing.
Olivia swept her hair back as a habit. Seeing the silver hair caught in her fingers, she was constantly reminded of House Madeleine and Esella, who had fainted.
Esella, who was surprised at herself after spouting harsh words.
Since she was young, Esella had been sickly. Whenever that happened, she would always sneak away from her father and Conrad's eyes to hold her hand.
She should have said it properly yesterday. If she had, she wouldn't have to worry about whether she could hold her hand again like this.
...Although, she didn't know if she would have believed her even if she had said it.
The moment she rolled the words around in her mouth, Olivia's eyes widened as if she had realized something.
It wasn't disappointment.
It was resignation.
There was none of the sadness, pain, or desperate desire to be together that she had always felt whenever her family ignored her.
The driving force that had made her work so hard for fourteen long years had faded away.
Olivia gasped at the belated realization. Her green eyes trembled as if she were terrified.
* * *
The brilliant sun was dyed red. Olivia, who was in the outdoor garden of the Crown Princess Consort's Palace, looked at the long shadows.
The Wednesday appointment time had long passed, but Leopold had not come.
He might still be angry about her refusing the first dance at the banquet. She remembered Leopold, who had deliberately treated her roughly when they danced the second dance.
And the way he had turned away as soon as the dance was over.
Olivia stared blankly at the cold black tea in her cup before gazing at the empty cup that hadn't even been poured. Her heart pounded.
But she still wanted to hope for Leopold.
She wanted to have expectations and receive as much love as she gave.
She wished he would come soon.
Olivia looked into the distance. Suddenly, she saw a maid walking far away. Among the many maids, the maid stood out because of the teapot she was carrying.
"Baroness."
"Yes, Madeleine."
Baroness Sophron, who was standing nearby, approached. Olivia pointed to the maid and said.
"The one that maid is carrying is my teapot, right?"
The teapot with the green flowers embossed on it was imported from the Kingdom of Guswin, which was famous for its ceramics. It was also Olivia's favorite teapot among the teapots in the Crown Princess Consort's Palace.
There were only two sets of those in the Empire. One set in front of Olivia now. And one set over there.
She was about to ask where she was taking it when it wasn't even the day to clean the teapots, but Baroness Sophron was overly flustered.
"That, that's... That's..."
An uneasy feeling rose up. Olivia jumped up. Baroness Sophron suddenly grabbed Olivia's hand.
"M-Madeleine! Where are you going? I'll go check."
The Baroness's hand was wet with sweat. Seeing her tense face, Olivia's uneasiness turned to certainty.
"I'll go, Baroness."
Her heart was pounding, but her voice was as calm as ever. Maybe she didn't feel like this situation was real.
But when the Baroness looked at her with trembling eyes, Olivia realized to some extent.
If she went now, maybe.
She wouldn't even be able to hope for Leopold anymore.
Why did such terrible things come all at once? Olivia wanted to ask someone. But it was Olivia herself who had to make the answer.
.
.
.
"I heard the Madeleine has entered the Crown Princess Consort's Palace."
A complaining woman's voice was heard. Olivia stopped in her tracks without realizing it. It was Maria Etel's voice.
"...That's what I heard."
Leopold's voice sank as if he was in a bad mood. Soon, Maria Etel's voice, full of coquetry, was heard. A smile spread across her face. It was the complete opposite of Olivia, who was having trouble even breathing properly.
Leopold and Maria Etel were drinking tea in the flower garden, which was only a five-minute walk from the outdoor garden where Olivia was.
With Olivia's favorite teapot, from Olivia's palace.
This was absurd. This palace was the palace that was allowed to her. No matter what Leopold said, this was unfair.
Olivia was about to walk forward with gritted teeth.
"Do you remember, Leopold?"
The moment Maria Etel called Leopold's name. Olivia froze.
Even she, his fiancée, had never called the Crown Prince's noble name. But the attendants around them didn't say anything, as if they were used to it. Even his aide, Count Hagis, didn't say anything.
Maria Etel lightly flipped her hair back. Leopold grabbed a handful of Maria Etel's blonde hair and kissed her.
It was a relief. That she couldn't see Leopold's face.
If the blue eyes that always looked at her with annoyance looked at Maria Etel with love, she might have really collapsed.
"You used to say that this palace looked just like me. That on days like this, when the sunset dyes it, it's as brilliant as my blonde hair."
"Just like now."
It was nonsense. This was the silver Crown Princess Consort's Palace. She wanted to protest right away. But beyond Leopold and Maria Etel, the sunset-lit Crown Princess Consort's Palace was really shining in gold.
Her heart dropped. Where had the palace that she had always thought was hers and that resembled her disappeared to?
Olivia's lips trembled. This might be a dream. Maybe she was still sleeping because the blanket at the Grand Duke's Residence was so cozy.
As if to let her know that this was reality, Maria Etel chattered on.
"I liked being here with His Highness the Crown Prince every Wednesday. It made me feel like I was the fiancée."
Her heart turned cold. Had Leopold been breaking his promise with her and meeting Maria Etel here?
"If the Madeleine comes here, it'll be hard to see each other like this, right?"
Maria Etel trailed off as if she had something she wanted. Something welled up from somewhere in her chest. Her instincts warned her to turn around quickly. To run away somewhere quickly.
But Leopold's words were faster than Olivia's movements.
"That won't happen."
Leopold, who had denied it firmly, chuckled, his Adam's apple bobbing. At the end of Olivia's favorite laughter, a low sentence was dropped.
"The Madeleine knows her place well. She'll never cause you any trouble. I guarantee it."
Thud. The emotions that had been barely holding on came crashing down like a tidal wave.
All of Olivia's expectations collapsed.
Her family, whom she had hoped would turn around just once, and her fiancé, from whom she had craved love.
In a situation where she could no longer hope for anything, Olivia laughed without realizing it. It was just like her Debutante. That day when she had desperately tried to hold back her tears by smiling.
That day, she muttered to herself.
Foolish Olivia. Stupid Olivia.
She shouldn't have come.
Everything she had longed for so much collapsed like a sandcastle hit by a wave.
The end of her unrequited love was, in the end, this terrible.
Olivia covered her face with her hands. Even though she held her breath as her mother had told her to, the pain washed over her. Nothing was getting better.
Her mother was wrong. There were things that couldn't be achieved even if you did your best.
When she realized that, a terrible misery enveloped Olivia.
She really had nowhere to go. Nowhere at all.
* * *
"I'm sorry, but our coffee house is closing."
Ruheirn Street, where the surroundings were darkening. Olivia, who came out of the coffee house, tightened her Robe even more. When she hid her hair, no one recognized her as the Madeleine. Not even the coffee house employee who was nearby.
Turning her back on the noisy pub street, Olivia started walking aimlessly.
Past the jewelry store with the lights off, to the shopping district with the stores closed. And into the alley.
The night air that touched her exposed cheeks was cool. As she entered the dark alley, a strange smell began to accompany her. A physiological fear rose up, but she couldn't stop walking. Her instincts were leading Olivia somewhere.
How long had she been walking? Suddenly, Olivia stopped walking in a street that felt like déjà vu.
A place she had never seen before, but somewhere familiar. Standing in a dark alley where not even light entered, Olivia quietly looked around before laughing in a deflated manner, as if the air was escaping.
The place where the shacks had disappeared due to the rezoning. This was Turningbell, where she had left.
The houses that had been hidden in the depths of her memory appeared like illusions. The place where Olivia was standing was the place where she had lived with her mother.
In the end, the place she had returned to was only here. Laughter burst out. When the clear laughter that spread through the narrow alley gradually crumbled, Olivia sank to the ground.
She had nowhere to go.
Even though she had tried so hard, the only place Olivia had come to comfortably was this dirty, smelly alley.
Her legs, which had been walking strenuously, gave way. Olivia leaned against the wall and sat down. Her expensive dress was stained with dirty water, but she didn't care at all.
Now she had nowhere else to go.
The organized sentence hit Olivia hard. Olivia curled up, hugging her knees. Everything was meaningless. She felt like her body was empty, so she couldn't even cry.
It would be nice if she could just stay like this for a long time and disappear. It was when Olivia was smiling sadly.
The sound of hurried footsteps running from afar grew closer. Olivia's body instinctively stiffened. Even though the district had been redeveloped, vagrants might still be wandering around. An unexpected fear washed over her.
She wished someone, anyone, would help her.
Thinking instinctively, Olivia suddenly remembered the Debutante she had wanted help from for the first time. The please, the countless please she had wanted, had not been fulfilled.
It would be the same this time. No one would help her.
Giving up became familiar. It was when Olivia bit her lip and prayed that the footsteps would pass by.
"Was your outing enjoyable?"
The panting voice was familiar. Olivia involuntarily raised her head. The face visible under the dim moonlight was the Grand Duke.
The moment their eyes met, relief spread across the Grand Duke's face, which had been stiff.
"I was waiting to escort you. Do you have business here too? It's chilly, how about getting up?"
The voice that joked was gradually loosening. The Grand Duke knelt in front of Olivia without hesitation. Only after draping a luxurious and thick Robe around Olivia did the Grand Duke face her.
The moment their eyes met, red eyes looked at her with affection.
How could such a series of unrealistic events continue to happen?
"Why are you here?"
Olivia said slowly. Her voice was terribly cracked, but the Grand Duke didn't sneer.
"Well... because you're here, my lady?"
The Grand Duke shrugged. Olivia was confused by his matter-of-fact tone.
No one had ever saved her. Why did the Grand Duke keep appearing and helping her?
Her heart pounded. Knowing how scary expectations could be, Olivia looked at the Grand Duke and parted her lips.
"Why do you come just because I'm here?"
"Because I wanted to see you."
She was speechless. Who was this man, and why was he looking at her so kindly? Why was he treating her so preciously?
Even though she bit her lip, tears welled up. The man's face blurred.
The Grand Duke was flustered and didn't know what to do. He was so precious that he couldn't even touch her, and the man's restlessness made her laugh and feel good at the same time.
Olivia spat out a tearful complaint.
"...I have nowhere to go anymore."
"That can't be true."
The man immediately denied it and held out his hand to Olivia.
"Everyone at the Grand Duke's Residence has been counting down the moments since you left today, hoping for your return. Of course, I wanted it the most."
Even in the midst of all that, the hastily added words made Olivia laugh, breaking down her tears without realizing it. The man smiled back as if he was glad to see even that faint smile.
"So, will you come with me again today?"
Olivia looked at the man's hand.
Was it really okay to take that hand?
After a brief moment of hesitation, Olivia took the Grand Duke's hand. At the same time as the warm body temperature was transmitted, the Grand Duke's face was filled with emotion.
At that moment, Olivia acknowledged the newly sprouted expectation in her heart.
