Translator: Nox

Chapter 73

73

The Canary’s Song

“Sit.”

Even in the face of Leila’s stunned gaze, Mathias remained utterly calm.

“We’re not at the point where we should be doing this.”

Leila eyed the food laid out on the table and Mathias sitting beyond it with a sense of unfamiliarity and bewilderment. A dining table had been set up before the fireplace in the reception room, where the chairs had been pushed aside. It was the very same place that lingered in Leila’s memory as a horrific ordeal.

“You have to fulfill your role.”

“I’m already doing that as much as needed.”

“A scrawny body isn’t much fun. It hurts when I thrust into it.”

Her eyes widened at his words, tossed out as his gaze raked over her body. The gap between his crude remark and his indifferent eyes was shocking, yet Mathias stared straight at her without so much as a twitch of his brow.

What does he take me for? How can he say something like that?

Seized by a feeling as if she’d been slapped across the cheek, Leila glared fiercely at the duke. He smirked and poured wine into the glass before him. It was an elegant motion, utterly at odds with his attitude.

“Unless you’re planning to starve to death, eat.”

“…….”

“Die?”

“…….”

“If that’s what you want, nothing to be done about it.”

Mathias flashed a sly smile at Leila, who stood there resolutely, as if declaring she would never sit across from him.

“Considering what we are to each other, I’ll at least put up a tombstone for you.”

He finally averted his gaze from her and unfolded his napkin.

“The Duke of Herhart’s mistress, laid to rest here. Like it?”

“What?”

“I’ll make it out of the finest marble, huge and ornate so everyone can see it. Don’t worry.”

His leisurely, dry tone made the mockery cut even deeper.

Leila bowed her head to suppress her rising anger. But it wasn’t a very good method. A different carpet had been laid down than that day, but the memories it stirred were ultimately the same as before.

Leila had to admit it now. Wounds healed with time as they should, but deep ones left scars just as deep. Even if she dusted herself off and walked tall again, the scar he’d left would never truly fade.

Clenching her fists, Leila glared at Mathias. He looked utterly at ease and pleased as he ate slowly.

“I’m going to live well.”

Proclaiming it emphatically, Leila sat down in the seat across from the duke.

She wouldn’t cower, flee, or flounder about just to entertain that man.

With that resolve, a reckless courage welled up in her. It felt a bit like desperate resignation. Whatever it was, Leila no longer wanted to submit powerlessly to that man. Even if it meant things would end up going his way in the end.

“I won’t die or fall apart because of someone like you.”

Leila snatched up a piece of bread and chewed it thoroughly before swallowing.

“I’m going to live long and prosper.”

She slathered thick butter on another piece and bit into it with her mouth full. Crumbs on her lips no longer mattered in the slightest. If her gluttonous devouring disgusted him enough to lose interest, that would be a blessing.

“Yeah?”

Mathias responded calmly as he set down his fork and knife.

“Good girl.”

As if rewarding an obedient child, he poured wine into the glass before Leila. With her two hands still dusted in breadcrumbs, she grabbed it and gulped it down.

“Oh dear.”

Clicking his tongue briefly, Mathias cheerfully refilled the now-empty glass. As if declaring she’d never become the ladylike woman he wanted, Leila drained that one in a single go as well. If her intent was to look undignified, it was an effort worthy of commendation.

Mathias watched with intrigued eyes as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand and then gripped her fork to devour the food. Well, it wasn’t so bad. Better than watching her frail, emaciated frame waste away like a starving wraith.

“Turn off that music.”

When the bottle of wine had run dry, Leila suddenly spoke up. Her glare at the phonograph was quite fierce.

“Listen to it. It’s beautiful.”

The waltz played on piano had now entered its most elaborate and delicate passage. It was the melody Mathias and his canary loved most. Just when it seemed Leila might be listening with a sullen face, she soon furrowed her brows again and muttered.

“It’s annoying.”

And with that, she stabbed the last chunk of meat with her fork gripped like a tool and shoved it into her small mouth.

Gazing at her chewing lips and cheeks, Mathias couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Your tastes are lower than a bird’s.”

“……A bird?”

He’d wondered if she could actually eat it all, but Leila swallowed the meat down with the last sip of wine and asked back. Her cheeks were flushed bright red. She’d drunk the wine like water, after all.

Mathias merely chuckled softly, offering no answer. After staring at him for a moment, Leila seemed to lose interest and dropped her gaze to her empty plate.

“When are you going to discard me?”

Perhaps having exhausted all her energy on aggressively devouring the food, Leila’s voice no longer carried that forced bravado.

Mathias set down his lightly held wineglass and looked at her. Her dry, calm gaze made it clear this wasn’t mere petulance or coquetry.

“Once I have you, I’ll discard you, won’t I?”

“Yeah.”

Mathias answered plainly as well. He wasn’t sentimental or foolish enough to promise eternity to a mistress.

“Then discard me quickly.”

“And if I do?”

“……I’ll live well.”

Leila picked up her napkin and wiped her lips and hands.

“A life with nothing to do with you, Duke. Hard and well.”

“Sounds like you can’t live well by my side.”

“Yes.”

Leila answered without hesitation.

“Of course.”

She set the crumpled napkin at the edge of the table and bowed her head, gazing quietly at her own hands. Her pale eyelashes cast quite a dark shadow.

Mathias leaned back deeply into his chair. His eyes still held Leila.

It wasn’t an answer that should have grated or offended him. If it couldn’t be forever, it would end someday. Even the fiercest desire eventually cooled. If she left without clinging when the end came, that would actually be a good thing. And if she went on to live her life boldly and well after that, it would be perfect.

So why?

Mathias frowned at his inexplicable emotions.

An answer that shouldn’t have grated or offended grated and offended him immensely. It was right around then that Leila rose from her chair.

“Where are you going?”

“I want to leave now.”

Mathias’s lips curved as he watched her answer nonchalantly. At the same time, his hand shot out with rough force, snatching her passing arm and gripping it tight.

“Ah!”

Leila let out a small scream in surprise, but he paid it no mind.

Pulling the staggering Leila straight into his arms, Mathias reclined onto the spacious sofa. She struggled briefly to escape but soon gave up and went still.

He wrapped one arm around the waist of Leila, whom he’d made lean against him, and pulled her firmly close. Burying his face in her nape, he inhaled her familiar scent. The soft, sweet body fragrance of this woman, Leila.

When he lightly licked the pulsing hollow of her throat with his tongue, she flinched. Finding it amusing, Mathias teased her nape, jaw, and cute ear more mischievously with licks. Every time she squirmed to evade him, her soft hair swayed, rustling with an itchy sound.

It must be quite late into the night by now.

Leila tried to glance out the window to gauge the time, but the sensations clouding her mind made it difficult.

Before she knew it, Mathias’s hand had slipped inside her blouse. She braced for the familiar pain, but his warm, dry hand moved differently this time. It slowly stroked her stomach and waist before gently cupping her breast.

Leila, who had squeezed her eyes shut, cracked them open in confusion when his hand showed no real fervor. The motion of his hand kneading her breast was clearly visible beneath the thin fabric. It was so strange that she shut her eyes again. The way he nibbled her earlobe and his soft breaths were equally odd.

She prayed for it to end soon, but that strange moment dragged on. Slowly, like the grating melody of the music, Mathias explored her with his hands and lips. Perhaps dulled to pain by the fullness in her belly and the alcohol, it didn’t hurt as much as before.

“Ugh, turn off the music! My head hurts.”

As his hand, having swept down her lower abdomen, slipped out from under her blouse and lifted her skirt, Leila cried out urgently.

“The music is beautiful, Leila.”

Ignoring her, Mathias hiked her skirt up to her knees.

“Your head hurts because you drank without any grace.”

She was furious at his taunt, but Leila couldn’t muster a retort.

His hand delved into her undergarments, touching her most intimate place in the most shameful way. Startled, she tried to push him away, but realizing it was futile, she clamped both hands over her mouth instead. But Mathias pulled even those hands away, heightening her humiliation.

High moans and panting breaths poured from her parted lips against her will, loud enough to drown out the music. Only after Leila’s trembling, convulsing body slumped limply over his chest did Mathias withdraw his hand from beneath her skirt.

“You can’t live well by my side, but you get wet so nicely and cry so prettily?”

Mathias cupped her flushed cheek with his hand, glistening with her arousal. Leila writhed, trying to push it away, but his grip only tightened. Their gazes clashed—hers glaring with ragged breaths, his sneering with a smirk.

“I did what I wanted, so now let’s do what you want.”

Mathias easily laid Leila back on the sofa and straddled her.

“What I want is to leave you right now, Duke.”

“Liar.”

Mathias slowly stroked her lips with the hand she’d wet. Without hesitation, he began unbuttoning her blouse. Rage mixed with self-loathing gleamed in Leila’s glaring eyes.

“If you were going to do this, you should’ve just done it your way from the start.”

The size of that foolish hope she’d briefly harbored only made Leila feel more wretched now.

“That’s no fun anymore.”

Having unbuttoned the blouse completely, Mathias stripped it off her, then removed her skirt with his own hands.

“This way, it torments you.”

Leaning in with a smile, Mathias removed her glasses. And then, with a smacking sound, he kissed her damp cheek. It was an affectionate kiss, like birds rubbing beaks, but Leila no longer had the capacity to register it.

“You have to suffer for me to enjoy it.”

All that remained in the end was pain. The pain of shame that clawed deep into her heart.