Chapter 70
70
You Are Nothing
“You made the right decision, Teacher Llewellyn. There’s no better place than this compared to the school in your hometown village.”
The principal’s face lit up with a pleased smile. Seated across from him at the reception table, Leila offered a faint smile and lowered her gaze. She seemed embarrassed about her earlier whims.
“I’m truly sorry for causing you unnecessary worry with my thoughtless words.”
“Worry? Nonsense. As long as Teacher Llewellyn is staying on at the school, that’s all that matters. By the way, Teacher Llewellyn… that… Do you have absolutely no intention of seeing Theo again?”
“Pardon? Theo… Oh!”
It was only then that Leila belatedly recalled the name of the general store owner’s son. Just in time, the principal’s wife entered carrying a tea tray, rescuing Leila from her predicament.
“Darling, don’t pressure her. Can’t you see how awkward it must be for Teacher Llewellyn?”
“It’s not pressure—I’m just saying it’s a shame. Theo’s such an upright and fine young man.”
The principal eyed Leila’s expression with lingering reluctance. He still seemed to hope she felt the same, but Leila only looked uncomfortable.
To the girl who had once been approached with a marriage proposal from Dr. Etman’s son, he must not seem like a satisfying match. But she surely knew by now that greedily aiming too high never ended well.
Lost in thought for a moment, the principal let out an awkward chuckle to change the mood.
“By the way, Teacher Llewellyn. How about taking the lead role if we do a play for next year’s event? It could raise an enormous amount in donations.”
Leila couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the principal’s bland joke. It was her first genuine smile in a long while.
After chatting over tea about the school, the children, and plans for the next semester, Leila left the principal’s house. Amid the pedestrians huddling against the biting cold wind and hurrying along, Leila trudged slowly down the street. It was so frigid it felt like it would cut right through her skin, but she felt no urge to rush back to Arbis.
She wandered aimlessly through the shopping district, staring blankly at shop windows that barely registered. Her steps came to an abrupt halt in the central station square.
If she just left for somewhere, right now.
Even as that meaningless impulse surged within her, Leila knew the truth. She could never escape. How could she abandon Uncle Bill and go anywhere? Even if she convinced Uncle Bill to leave Arbis with her, the duke clearly wouldn’t give up. Provoking him like that might only bring even greater trouble.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, severing the endless loop of thoughts, then turned back with listless steps.
The duke’s intentions in keeping Uncle Bill on as Arbis’s gardener indefinitely were obvious. But even so, it was nothing more than a petty desire. Once he had what he wanted, it would soon grow boring, and he’d discard it. Leila felt even more certain of that now than before. That night, that man had driven the point home to her bones. What Leila Llewellyn truly meant to Duke Herhardt.
She prayed desperately that he would discard her soon.
As she turned onto Platanus Avenue with that fervent wish, Kyle’s letter suddenly came to mind.
My beloved Leila.
That morning, Leila had read and reread the dozens of letters that always began the same way. She didn’t need to ask Uncle Bill why they had never been delivered. Understanding the mindset that had made it inevitable only deepened her sorrow.
“Um… Leila, these letters that were here…”
The morning after returning from the police station, Uncle Bill had stammered the question as they sat at the breakfast table.
“I’m sorry.”
Seeing Leila smile silently, Bill Leamer’s face grew somber.
“I’ve got no face left to show you, all things considered.”
Perhaps due to the pale winter sunlight, Bill Leamer’s hair seemed exceptionally white. Come to think of it, his gray hairs had indeed increased quite a bit.
“If your heart is still with Kyle, Leila, then I’ll side with you two.”
There was resolute determination in Bill Leamer’s eyes as he looked at her.
“It’d be ridiculous for me to decide your path on my own. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that.”
Along with repeated apologies, Bill Leamer spoke at length. But his words scattered into emptiness, failing to reach the depths of Leila’s consciousness.
“I’m fine.”
That was all Leila could manage to say.
“Let’s have breakfast, Uncle.”
Bill Leamer silently nodded, gazing at Leila as she smiled through reddened eyes. He said nothing more. That morning, neither of them finished even half their plates.
Before passing through Arbis’s gates, Leila took a deep breath and clenched her fists.
Just as I am nothing to you, you are nothing to me.
Whenever that night’s memory resurfaced, Leila thought the same. She would never be hurt by a man who meant nothing to her.
Her legs trembled incessantly, and cold sweat slicked her clenched fists, but Leila pressed on without stopping. Because she had hurried more than usual, her breath was coming up to her throat by the time she reached the cottage.
Slipping inside the house, she let out a long sigh of relief. Bill Leamer had been devoting himself from early morning till night to restoring the greenhouse, determined to repay the mercy shown to him, so the house was empty.
Leila staggered to her room and collapsed onto the bed.
My beloved Leila.
Trying to banish the image of Kyle’s letter by closing her eyes only brought that night’s memory crashing over her. Just as she felt like bursting into sobs, a tapping sound came at the window. Once a thrill, now it filled her with dread.
With trembling, ice-cold hands, Leila drew back the curtain and opened the window. There was Phoebe, bearing the duke’s letter.
“Don’t you think there’s no need to keep that gardener in Arbis indefinitely?”
Claudine countered softly, her smile unwavering. Every gaze in the drawing room turned to her at once.
Darling, Claudine!
Countess Brandt, seated beside her, silently admonished her, but Claudine didn’t back down.
“It’s a splendid decision to show mercy to that foolish gardener, but I’m a bit uneasy about keeping him in Arbis, Duke Herhardt. There’s no guarantee a dullard who’s already caused one incident won’t cause another.”
“I understand your concerns, my lady, but Bill Leamer is the very gardener who tended the Glass Greenhouse you loved so much. There’s no one more suited to restoring it to its former glory.”
Mathias looked at Claudine with a smile as well. His tone was mild and composed, but Claudine could sense it. Duke Herhardt would never reverse his decision.
“Of course, I adore Arbis’s Paradise. If it can be restored to its previous state… yes, putting up with that gardener a little longer wouldn’t be so bad.”
Claudine decided to concede a step here. Countess Brandt finally looked relieved.
She gracefully continued the conversation without losing her refined speech or smile—about Lady Norma’s recovery, the public’s praise for the Herhardt family in overlooking a servant’s grave offense, and wedding preparations. No one could tell that her mind kept dwelling on the name Leila Llewellyn.
Claudine was convinced Mathias had taken Leila.
He was that kind of man. A cold-blooded one who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. There was no way someone like Leila could escape him.
When she heard about the incident in Arbis, Claudine had felt both sorrow and relief. It grieved her that the Glass Greenhouse she cherished had been destroyed, but she was relieved that the gardener—and Leila with him—would be gone from Arbis.
Of course, Claudine knew well that being expelled from Arbis wouldn’t end things between them. But that was their affair. All Claudine wanted was for Leila to be absent from the Arbis that would soon become her world.
A duchess living in the same estate as her husband’s mistress!
She had thought Mathias wouldn’t stoop to something so vulgar and undignified, but this growing anxiety that she might end up in such a ridiculous situation if she did nothing made her uneasy.
“If I were you, Claudine, I wouldn’t provoke Mathias needlessly.”
Riet had said that during their recent meeting.
“If it’s truly over, that’s fortunate. But if not, leaving it alone might be best.”
Riet’s eyes had been unusually serious as she delivered those incomprehensible words—words Claudine could neither understand nor agree with.
It was obvious whom Mathias’s decision to keep the gardener who caused such a major incident served. To think she could manipulate Duke Herhardt like that. Despite that innocent face, she apparently had considerable skill in handling men.
Disgusted with herself for sinking into such base thoughts, Claudine conducted herself with even greater poise and elegance at the dinner. By the time the meal ended, exhaustion so intense it made her lips quiver washed over her. Fortunately, the two ladies expressed their intent to retire early, wrapping up the dinner sooner than usual.
“I held my tongue in front of Mathias earlier, but I agree with you. Why on earth keep using a gardener who caused such an accident? Moments like this show the Herhardts have a soft spot.”
Countess Brandt visited her daughter’s guest room and vented her dissatisfaction. Claudine, who had been gazing out the window at the ruined Glass Greenhouse and expansive gardens, turned with a calm smile.
“Don’t worry, Mother. That gardener won’t be staying in Arbis past next summer at the latest.”
“What do you mean, Claudine? Are you planning to dismiss the gardener trusted by Lady Norma and Mathias?”
Countess Brandt startled, but Claudine remained nonchalant.
“A new duchess requires a new gardener, after all.”
“Everything has been prepared as you commanded.”
As Mathias entered the annex drawing room, Hessen approached and reported in a lowered voice. Mathias glanced down at the table where a large silver domed dish sat.
“You’ve done well.”
With that brief acknowledgment, he settled back into the sofa as usual.
After delivering the newly arrived mail, Hessen withdrew. Most were invitations to year-end parties and social events. Among them was a letter announcing the crown prince and princess’s planned visit to Arbis during their tour of the imperial north early next year.
Mathias pulled the fountain pen from his jacket pocket and began composing replies one by one. After signing the last one and capping the pen, a hollow chuckle escaped him.
Leila Llewellyn.
The gold-embossed name on the cap gleamed faintly in the lamplight. He’d carried it around as if it were the most natural thing since last autumn. At first, it had been for amusement, but eventually, he no longer thought much of it.
“Why do you keep stealing my things?”
Remembering Leila huffing about him taking her pen never failed to make him smile.
“You’re… really a crow?”
Her absurd question had the same effect.
Twirling the pen between his long fingers, Mathias checked the watch on his wrist. Just around now, he thought—right as the familiar knock-knock-knock sounded.
He set the pen back in place and rose lightly, heading to the door. Beyond the opened door stood exactly the face he’d expected.
His woman, Leila.
