Chapter 55
55
What Must I Break
“It doesn’t seem like the road to Arbis.”
Leila, who had been clutching her bag and coat tightly with her lips pressed shut, finally spoke her first words. The car was heading not toward the road to Arbis, but into the bustling heart of Karlsvar city.
“Mr. Evers, this road…….”
“I told you, Leila.”
Mathias cut off the words he had directed at the attendant in the passenger seat. Having forgotten her fear amid her anger boiling up to the tips of her hair, Leila met the duke’s eyes without flinching.
“I’ll take responsibility.”
As she watched him infuse the word “responsibility” with a strange weight, Leila unwittingly gripped the hem of her skirt.
“Since I did something that requires taking responsibility, it’s only right that I take responsibility even for the ruined clothes.”
“No. You don’t need to do that. I…….”
“Why? Do you think my wrongdoing isn’t enough yet?”
Even with the driver and attendant seated in front, Mathias’s demeanor was utterly unreserved.
Unable to retort, Leila simply drew in a deep breath. Red stains remained here and there on her hands from her futile attempts to wipe away the ink. They seemed just like her own messed-up heart, making her feel upset and ashamed.
She should have just quietly thrown it away.
She had thought returning the gift would end this strange relationship with the duke, and now she felt utterly pathetic for it. Leila bit down hard on the soft flesh inside her mouth until it hurt. What should she call this shameful, uncomfortable feeling that choked her breath and sometimes made her want to just burst into tears?
Leila looked at Mathias as if seeking that answer. His gaze was fixed on her as well. Behind his expressionless face, the gloomy gray cityscape and lights flowed by.
Just as she thought his eyes looked somehow desolate too, the car came to a stop. It was a street lined with luxury shops.
Without any special instructions, the driver and attendant got out of the car, leaving the two of them alone. Leila’s shoulders instinctively hunched as the air suddenly felt heavier.
“I’ll be going now.”
Leila hurriedly grabbed her umbrella and turned her body. But her trembling little hand was caught in Mathias’s grip before it could even reach the car door. Though she struggled in surprise, he subdued her resistance effortlessly without much force.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I don’t need new clothes. I’m going home, home!”
“How selfish, Leila.”
The hand gripping her wrist so painfully seemed to loosen a little, and then Mathias’s low chuckle reached her ears.
“Don’t you think about Bill Leamer?”
“……What did you say?”
Leila’s struggles stopped at the unexpected name from the duke’s mouth.
“If you show up looking like this, how heartbroken do you think Leamer will be?”
“Are you seriously saying that you, the very person who did this to me, are worried about Uncle Bill?”
“Well, separate from you, Leamer has worked as a gardener for our family for decades.”
As Mathias pulled her wrist firmly, Leila was drawn helplessly right up to his face. It was close enough for their breaths to mingle.
“If Leamer asks what happened, are you confident you can explain it well?”
“Y-Yes, of course.”
Leila tried to pull her body back, but Mathias cupped her cheek firmly with his other hand.
“Quite the thing.”
A soft whisper slipped through his crookedly tilted red lips.
“I did something that requires taking responsibility, so I’ll take responsibility for you, Leila.”
The more Leila tried to avert her gaze, the more persistently Mathias pursued it.
“Buying you new clothes and returning you to Leamer’s arms looking proper again—that’s my responsibility today.”
“I don’t want it! Let me go! I…….”
“Think about it carefully, Leila. Meekly accepting my apology and compensation for the clothes is the sensible thing, but if you keep rebelling and being stubborn like this, well…… doesn’t it look rather strange?”
Mathias’s furrowed eyes gestured toward the car window. The driver and attendant were standing with their backs turned, waiting, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t guess at the commotion inside the car.
“Like a sulking mistress or something.”
At the utterly crude joke, Leila’s face took on the look of someone who had been suddenly slapped.
With a light laugh, Mathias finally released her. He stretched his arm to tap on the window, and Mark Evers turned nimbly to open the rear door. Leila got out of the car as if fleeing.
Confirming the bag and coat she had left behind, Mathias beckoned Mark Evers over and gave him brief instructions. He understood quickly, and soon the door closed again. When Leila turned around, she was huddled under the driver’s umbrella, her body shivering.
As Mathias’s eyes slowly narrowed while watching her, Mark Evers took off his own coat. It was then that Mathias tapped the window again like a knock. The attendant hurriedly put his half-removed clothes back on and opened the door.
Instead of a verbal command, Mathias handed over his own coat that he had taken off, and the attendant received it without question.
Once the door closed again, the inside of the car was filled only with the sound of rain tapping on the window. Mathias gazed at Leila through the fogged, rain-streaked glass. Mark Evers wrapped his coat around Leila’s trembling shoulders. Leila, half out of it, didn’t even seem to notice where the coat had come from.
Soon the driver returned, and the car started moving. Clutching the collar of Mathias’s coat tightly, Leila followed the attendant into the dress shop.
Mathias kept her retreating figure in his gaze for a long time.
“Why are we going there?”
Realizing they were heading toward the entrance of a grand hotel, Leila stopped in her tracks. It was the very hotel where Claudine had dragged her last summer to have tea.
“It’s the master’s orders, Miss Llewellyn.”
Mark Evers explained with a smile.
“As a gesture of apology, he said he’d treat Miss Llewellyn to a cup of tea before returning to Arbis.”
“No. The clothes are apology enough.”
“That’s not for me to decide.”
“But…….”
“I’m just following the master’s orders, as you know, Miss Llewellyn.”
He looked at her with a slightly troubled expression. Unable to stubborn it out any longer, Leila followed him with listless steps.
“Actually, the master keeps a bird too, just like you, Miss Llewellyn. A very small and pretty one.”
Mark Evers suddenly said something out of left field as they entered the hotel lobby.
“A bird? The duke?”
Leila frowned, utterly unable to believe it. She couldn’t imagine anything stranger. A slayer of beautiful birds keeping one?
“……For hunting?”
Mark Evers was dumbfounded by Leila’s cautious yet earnest question after some thought. He wanted to offer a defense for his master, but they had already arrived at the tearoom.
Mathias was seated by the window overlooking the rainy terrace. The attendant who escorted Leila there withdrew, fulfilling his duty.
“Sit.”
He ordered the rigidly standing Leila.
As people began to glance their way, Leila reluctantly sat across from him. When she took off her coat, a turquoise velvet dress was revealed. The wide lace collar that reached her shoulders was snow-white.
Mathias’s gaze slowly traveled down from the pearl buttons adorning the front placket. The stockings and shoes visible below her calves were also brand new. He was satisfied with how much better she looked than when she had been dressed like a nun from a bygone century. Her hair, styled at the dress shop, now looked far more natural and elegant.
Soon, a teacup was placed in front of Leila as well. Model-like pretty cakes and pastries followed.
“Eat.”
Mathias commanded again, taking hold of his teacup. Leila just glared at him without moving.
“Should I feed you?”
Mathias asked crookedly, gladly meeting those eyes that held not the slightest fear.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll take responsibility for that too.”
As Mathias straightened from leaning back in his chair, Leila hurriedly picked up her fork. With that fork wandering aimlessly over the lavish tea table, she poked at a cake topped with pale pink cream. It seemed she liked sweets.
“What do you like?”
Mathias asked lowly, quietly watching her chewing lips and cheeks. Learning one trivial thing made him curious about others.
“Excluding the things I have to force down in front of the duke, I suppose I could like everything else.”
Fiddling with the fork handle, Leila chattered while staring straight into his eyes. Her expression was bold, but her voice trembled pitifully. Mathias’s burst of laughter seeped into the sound of rain pattering on the window.
“If you’re not trying to provoke my interest, why not try a different approach? When you act this brazenly, I find it amusing.”
Mathias leaned his upper body diagonally toward the table.
“And Leila, when it’s this fun, it drives me crazy.”
His voice, even lower now, sounded almost like a whisper.
Blinking rapidly, Leila leaned back as he approached, pressing herself against the chair’s backrest. The cream-smeared fork was still clutched in her hand.
“Wouldn’t it be better to act all meek and obedient? Make it boring.”
Worried she might tumble off the chair if he wasn’t careful, Mathias pulled back.
It took Leila a while to set down her fork. As she rubbed her lips with the napkin, her cheeks flushed red.
“What do you like?”
Mathias tossed the question again as if for the first time.
“……I’m not picky about food.”
Leila answered obediently. It was quite a sight, watching her struggle to suppress the urge to snap back in her true temperament.
“Is that so? Good girl.”
Though she bristled at his words again, Leila held it in. But her eyes, unable to hide those feelings, sparkled clear and bright every such moment.
Let’s see if you look like that elsewhere too.
Mathias swallowed those words up to his throat with a sip of coffee. Her cowering, trembling state annoyed him, but he didn’t want to share this side of her with everyone else. The thought that he might be the only one who knew Leila Llewellyn’s true self—perhaps even unknown to Bill Leamer—brought a strange elation.
Determined to be boring, Leila remained meek and obedient throughout the tea. She answered when asked, ate obediently, all while shooting him sidelong glances full of lingering dissatisfaction and displeasure. Sometimes her cheeks flushed, and occasionally she nibbled her cream-smeared lips.
The realization that this time was gained through wrongdoing left Mathias feeling hollow, and he let out a wry chuckle. He had to break something to give, and only then could he have. How ridiculous.
But the face that had briefly furrowed soon returned to a serene smile. His eyes, fixed quietly on Leila, gleamed with an oddly clear light. They were filled with the woman who still drove him mad, even when meek and obedient.
Then, Leila—what must I break to have you?
Lost in deep thought, Mathias tilted his head slightly. Leila, peering out the darkened window, turned her straightforward gaze toward him.
They were the beautiful emerald eyes of Leila that only he knew.
