Chapter 48
48
Platanus Avenue
A white pigeon landed lightly on the balcony railing. Folding its wings, the pigeon naturally made its way toward the feeder. Sunset light filtered through the white feathers as the bird leisurely pecked at the grains.
“Phoebe.”
Mathias, spotting the bird from beyond the window, murmured the name Leila had desperately called out. Phoebe. What a grandiose name for a mere pigeon. A soft sigh escaped him, carrying a mocking sneer toward that enigmatic woman who was mad about birds.
Mathias rose from the sofa and opened the door leading to the balcony. The wind blowing in from the river was cold and damp. Even as he approached, the pigeon showed no wariness, utterly absorbed in eating. It was a gentle creature, quite unlike its owner.
Sunset light fell over Mathias as he leaned against the railing. Closing his eyes, he could clearly hear the sound of the wind. The rustling of the autumn forest shedding its leaves was serenely beautiful.
Leila was in Arbis, where everything was autumn wherever one looked.
She pedaled diligently to work in the mornings, returning in the evenings looking a bit weary. When she had time, she helped with the gardener’s tasks as she used to, and sometimes roamed the woods with a basket, busily gathering mushrooms or wild berries.
In this beautiful Arbis, everything he owned remained perfectly in place.
That perfect order satisfied Mathias. And that fact was enough to erase the disillusionment he had tasted over the past summer, when he had become the secret accomplice—or informant—for Linda Etman, who had desperately tried to prevent her son’s marriage.
Leila was in the place where she rightfully belonged.
Amid the satisfaction spreading like a pleasant buzz, Mathias opened his eyes. The well-fed pigeon soon left the balcony, flying toward the cottage. It seemed to be returning to its owner now.
Mathias was now certain that the bird would come back here tomorrow, and the day after. He had no interest in the bird’s feelings, but he knew well how to tame one.
What moved a messenger pigeon was the certainty of plentiful food in a safe place. Mathias had learned that on the battlefield. When communication was unreliable or there was a risk of messages leaking to the enemy, well-trained pigeons were deployed. The principle for taming birds used in military operations was no different.
Leila’s messenger pigeon, Phoebe, had now realized it. There was nothing to gain by flying to Kyle Etman’s window anymore. Then a new source of food had appeared, a safe one, and so Phoebe was now flying to him. Unlike its foolish owner, it was quite clever.
Mathias’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he gazed in the direction the pigeon had flown. He recalled Leila’s appearance from that autumn picnic day, right here. The smile that had slipped away the moment their eyes met.
But it was a smile she showed freely to the doctor’s son, no doubt.
As his thoughts reached that point, the shadow left by that fleeting smile deepened.
Leila had never laughed consistently in front of him since childhood, but she could never hold back her tears either. So he made her cry. If he couldn’t make her laugh, making her cry would do. Whether it was laughter or tears, it didn’t matter to Mathias. If all he could give was tears, he gave tears. If it was wounds, he gave wounds.
But what if he could give something else?
Lately, he often found himself lost in such thoughts. He no longer wanted to see Leila scared or angry. Mathias wanted only the Leila who looked solely at him—the one who sometimes wheedled for something like a spoiled child and smiled with overwhelming joy when he gave it to her.
Mathias now knew desire.
He wanted Leila Llewellyn. All of her, everything.
“You’ve gained weight, Phoebe?”
Leila frowned as she examined Phoebe, cradled in both hands, turning it this way and that. She had thought the bird’s feathers had simply puffed up densely for winter, but up close, it was clear it had put on actual fat.
“Is it because it’s autumn?”
Coo coo coo. Phoebe let out a cry as if pretending innocence, but Leila interrogated it relentlessly.
“Where have you been eating? Kyle’s not even there anymore.”
The last words slipped out carelessly, leaving Leila dazed.
Thinking of that name always made her eyes sting without fail, but Leila fought not to cry. Hadn’t she promised? That she’d be fine, so he should be fine too. So Leila had to be fine. As much as she hoped Kyle was fine, with all her heart.
Taking a deep breath to calm her emotions, Leila released the plump Phoebe. The bird wandered the yard for a moment before flying off toward the woods.
It was an ordinary day.
Leila finished her morning chores diligently and set off for work with Uncle Bill’s send-off. The sound of the bicycle chain accompanied her along Arbis’s roads, beautifully dyed in autumn foliage.
“Teacher!”
Turning onto the road in front of the school, the children who recognized her waved happily. Leila got off her bike and walked into the schoolyard with them.
Perhaps it was a day closer to happy than merely ordinary.
The children were much better behaved than usual and performed evenly well on the arithmetic and spelling tests. The drowsy warmth from the lit stove in the classroom, the casual chat with Teacher Grever over lunch, the high blue sky without a single cloud—Leila liked it all.
So she had to smile.
Steeling herself, she flashed a bright smile every time Kyle’s memory surfaced. She managed it right up until it was time to head home. But as Arbis drew near, as she rode alone down the road she had traveled so many times with Kyle, she could no longer ignore the loneliness she’d pushed aside all day. It came crashing over her at once.
Leila pulled her bicycle to the roadside.
She had been so foolish.
The countless memories rising along the road converged into thick regret.
We, not bound by blood, couldn’t live as siblings forever, nor could we who had to grow into man and woman remain best friends for life. So perhaps the parting had been destined from the start. Yet why had they loved with such hearts, gotten hurt, and ended up like this…?
As her vision began to blur, Leila shook her head and bit her lip. Closing her eyes, she soothed herself like reciting a spell. She’d be fine. She definitely would, so he should be fine too.
Fortunately holding back her tears, Leila got back on her bicycle. A black car speeding from afar passed her.
Mathias stopped the car at the entrance to Platanus Avenue. His attendants, instructed to go ahead, drove off, leaving him alone on the road. Just like that day last summer when it had all begun.
Mathias walked leisurely, waiting for the approaching presence. Fallen leaves rustled under his shoes in the wind. As the faint sound of a bicycle grew closer, his steps slowed even more.
Leila’s presence, now very near, stopped at a certain distance from Mathias. He turned around then. The scene was exactly as expected, captured in his calm eyes: the stopped bicycle and Leila standing beside it.
“Hello, Duke.”
Leila, glancing around, greeted him awkwardly. Her braided and pinned-up hair had half come undone, fluttering in the wind. She had no talent for styling; her hair was always either too neat or, like today, too loose. That clumsy look wasn’t so bad.
Mathias nodded, standing straight with one hand behind his back. Leila gripped the bicycle handlebars, blinking her large eyes. She hadn’t done anything wrong, yet her face showed considerable anxiety and nervousness.
“Then… excuse me.”
Bowing once more, Leila pulled her bicycle and hurried past Mathias.
“You need to act like a lady, Leila.”
Mathias spoke, gazing at Leila’s back just as she started pedaling again. She flinched and stopped the bike.
“You know I’ll be a gentleman only if you act like a lady.”
Mathias approached slowly toward Leila, who neither dismounted nor pedaled again.
“And only if I’m a gentleman will your pigeon be safe.”
At those additional words, Leila turned around.
Looking at him with furrowed brows, Leila finally got off the bicycle. Mathias tilted his head slightly to look down at her. Her damp eyes were filled with fear, while her twisted lips brimmed with dissatisfaction and defiance at the situation.
Anyway, her temper.
Gazing at Leila trembling at a few teasing words, Mathias began walking ahead as if nothing had happened. Leila followed, pulling her bicycle.
“I don’t recall ever telling you to become a maid.”
Mathias muttered lowly, turning back. Leila, staring only at her feet and following like a shadow, startled and looked up.
“Yes? Oh…”
Stubborn as she was, fortunately she wasn’t so dim as to not understand. With a stiff face, she took a few more steps toward him. But that final step remained unbridged.
With a soft chuckle, Mathias took one step back himself, finally getting what he wanted.
As Mathias started walking again, Leila matched his pace astutely. With the bicycle between them, the two now walked side by side down Platanus Avenue.
No words passed between the two walking together. Only the sound of the bicycle wheels turning and leaves crunching underfoot spread on the cool evening breeze.
That man with the long legs walks so slowly.
Leila glanced sidelong at Mathias, her eyes shifting from the road that seemed endless. He was never one to hurry, always leisurely, but today his steps were especially slow. Perhaps it was just her feeling that way because of the awkward, uncomfortable situation.
A man of similar height to Kyle, yet his presence was far more intimidating. Maybe because of his upright, elegant posture and that distinctive gaze, she thought. Looking closely, his build seemed larger and more solid than Kyle’s.
That must be why.
Drawing her own conclusion, Leila slowly lifted her gaze upward. White, smooth hand; grayish coat; neatly shaped tie; expressionless lips; and then… eyes.
Meeting the bright blue eyes staring at her, Leila was seized by instinctive fear. She just needed to look away, but for some reason, she couldn’t.
As she stared into those eyes, captivated, the duke slowly parted his lips.
